Hi everyone, I'm new and need advice

Hi! I'm embarrassed to say that I am really not very good with these forums... I can never quite figure out the right way to post a new question... so I thought I'd introduce myself and ask my question, and then if there is a different way to approach this, please advise. I am a Veterinarian, though I have not practiced in a few years due to health problems. But apparently, I'm not so good with birds... about 10 years ago, I got a male African Grey as trade for some work I did for a pet shop owner (ugh)... in my defense, she was selling puppy mill puppies, and I only tried to help make sure they were as healthy as possible before going to the public. I also advised her when to not accept a delivery of pups due to one suspicious pup with some eye discharge... she took them in spite of my advice, and they all ended up with parvo, infected other pups she had already in the store, and the two I thought I might pull through it, ended up starting to get distemper the day they were set to go back to her! Now, I am really good at treating Parvo, but these pups were too young, and I pulled out every stop, but they all died. It drove her out of business, and I can't say that I was sorry. Even an employee's adult Rottweiler came in on emergency with a temperature of 106, and died before I could even get very far into working on him! It was a bad, bad strain. Anyway, back to my birdie. She told me that he had been hard to adopt out because he wasn't very outgoing to people, he was shy and reserved. I felt bad for him, and he seemed to take to me a little bit, so I took him in exchange for the work I'd done for her. At first, things went great! He learned to happily step up on my hand, he fluffed up his feathers to have me scratch him on the head and neck, he sat on my chest while I laid on the couch to watch TV, etc. Then, I committed the unforgivable sin; being a Veterinarian, I trimmed his nails myself. I don't even think I did his wings, just his nails. And I didn't hurt him, or go very short. I wrapped him in a towel and was quick, then I let him rest in his cage again. He has never forgiven me. For a year, he was not close to either me or my husband, and preferred no contact. Then we started a pet hotel, and the manager was kind of good with birds (so she said), so we made a place for him in the front desk area in a corner where he was a little distant from the foot traffic. He was there for about 4 or 5 years, and did ok, he started talking up a storm and was relatively happy and interactive with the manager. Then we lost everything in the recession partly due to my health issues, in 2010, and we moved from Northern Arizona to The Phoenix area. I went on disability and have mostly been home. He still refused to bond with me, choosing instead to begin to bond with my husband. He never used to bite, and if I approached him inside the cage, he would try to back off from my hand, but in the last few years, if I pressed the issue, he would threaten to bite. He even moves away if I approach the cage. His favorite treat is a peanut, and my husband can give him peanuts by hand, but he won't take them from me. If I am patient enough, he sometimes will even snatch it from me and fling it to the ground. I forgot to say that early on when I tried to continue working with him after the nail incident, he would step up and let me take him out of the cage, but then he would prefer to "commit suicide" by throwing himself off of my arm to the floor than stay on my arm. He is a drama queen. His vocabulary is amazing, in both mine and Jerry's voices. I give him special foods, and new toys, but even that is traumatic for him, I have to introduce them slowly, preferably with peanuts. Recently, we moved to Texas, my husband got a new job, and he moved here first to find us a house. He was gone about 6 weeks and I packed up the house. In this time, I finally got Bart to start taking peanuts from my hand, by simply refusing to give them to him any other way. It took a while, but he finally did. When the three of us were together again, for a week or so, he took them from both of us again, then he began to favor Jerry again. Now, he won't take them from me alone, but if Jerry is in the room and reassures him, he will. I focus on the peanut thing because I don't dare try to work with him further unless I have a way to reward him (and bribe him). Jerry works long hours, and does love Bart, but has limited time to spend with him. He gives him attention and talks to him, but he's not really a person who naturally wants to handle pets a lot. He doesn't cuddle with the cats, he doesn't walk the dog unless I request it or join him... it's not that he doesn't love our pets, he does, it's just that he's not a hands on pet owner like me. Why on earth Bart would wait 'til hell freezes over for Jerry to get a few minutes to spend time with him is beyond me, when I am here all day and I talk to him and give him treats and toys. He won't even talk his blue streak when I'm in the same room... but when I'm not in the same room, he hardly ever stops. I am very confused, and I'm pretty darn good at behavior modification in pets! Like I said, I guess I'm not so good with birds. Please help me if you can, I'm sorry to write so much but a lot has happened in 10 years... and I know I'm about 10 years behind the eight-ball!

LOL @ Drama Queen. Hi and welcome to the forum. I don't have a gray but I am sure when some of the members that do come on line they will reply to you . This is a great forum so you came to the right place.
And Thank you for serving
Happy Thanksgiving

Hello, Welcome to the forums and welcome to Texas. Bart sounds like quite a character. I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. Now that you have a lot more time with Bart, I hope you can find a way to have a closer bond. We have a wonderful group of grey enthusiasts, I'm sure they will be willing and able to help. Enjoy your stay!

hi Vampiravet

Welcome to the forum. I have a birth defect and is bound to a wheelchair for life so I know what it is to live with constant health issues.

About 6-7 weeks a bird breeder I've known for about 10 years offered me a CAG of about 4-5 months with a deformed foot for free since I'm home more or less permanently. Because of the deformity the bird was hand-reared and imprinted on humans to the point that even if he/she doesn't hear one of his/her "flock members" voices for a few minutes it will do a little flock-call which I have to repeat back to him/her to reassure it that the flock is still in the vicinity. Because of the disability I have I still live with my mom but for some reason the bird bonded with me. Mom can stroke it if it's in a good mood but only with His/Her Majesty's permission and only I'm allowed to put my hands in the cage.

As young as the bird is it's already imitating words and noises which could get a bit hectic since I also have 3 dogs, 2 cats and 6 Indian Ringnecks.

My CAG is a drama-queen too and sometimes hangs by just one toe-nail from one of the bars of the cage and screams as if it's been murdered. The only solution in that case then is for me to open the cage, take it around the wings and try and pry the toe loose. So in short: I know all about an CAG "commiting suicide", lol.

I found what helps to calm him/her down if it's throwing a tantrum is to softly sing or hum to it (luckily it has zero taste in music or it would have told me to shut-up, hehe). Perhaps that will help with the two of you bonding.

As I'm sure other CAG owners will tell you they are notorious for bonding with one person in a household so another suggestion might be for you to take over complete care of it (feeding, cleaning the cage etc) till he realizes you're part of the flock and should be treated as such.

Sorry for the long post but I hope some of it helps you.

Regards,

Wessel

CAGs are very independent and frequently get handled on their own terms. They tend to want to control the interaction more than most.

My CAG also talks up a storm when you leave the room, and much less so in front of people, and rarely in front of strangers, unless he is in the mood.

So that's normal.

When people are in the room, they study everything, and they are learning stuff... to surprise us with later. (Where did he pick that up I wonder...?!)

They do hold grudges, but I'm not sure grooming is enough. (But this is EXACTLY why I use a groomer! Mine can be pissey with me for days at a time if I do it. If my groomer does it, they come running over to me for "consolation" and comfort.)

Have you tried doing the opposite? Make HIM work to get YOUR attention instead of the other way around?

Perhaps you're just trying too hard?

I forgot to ask: does the bird seem to "act out" if you are having a rough day health-wise?

Mine seems to be incredibly sensitive in that regard and on those days it just seems that he/she is just a lot more difficult to get along with. I'm not sure if that's due to the bird picking up how I'm feeling (much like a dog would) or if it's just me not being able to cope with behavior at that moment that wouldn't normally faze me.

WesselG said:

I forgot to ask: does the bird seem to "act out" if you are having a rough day health-wise?

Mine seems to be incredibly sensitive in that regard and on those days it just seems that he/she is just a lot more difficult to get along with. I'm not sure if that's due to the bird picking up how I'm feeling (much like a dog would) or if it's just me not being able to cope with behavior at that moment that wouldn't normally faze me.

Click to expand...

This is very true. CAGs are at the high end of the "empathic" scale.

Thanks for the reply, Birdman.

I was just wondering about it since it's been less than two months that I've had my CAG and in that short time it seemed to always have sensed accurately when I was having an "off" day.

My flock of IRN's aren't the same at all...they don't care a dead feather about my mood as long as I keep supplying them with food and attention. I'm not saying they are less sensitive animals just that I noticed a huge difference.

My favorite Tusk empathy story.

I was having a particularly bad day at work, and came home just crushed after working my butt off for an extended period of time...

Tusk waddles over to me, sees the kind of shape I'm in, and goes back to his cage. He digs through his food dish and pulls out a cashew. (His favorite nut.) Then waddles back to me and sets the nut down in the palm of my hand.

Then he says: "It's okay. You're a good boy!"

If that doesn't brighten your day not much else would.

Sounds like a CAG. Sorry to hear about your health problems and hope things are ok. Unfortunately i've not had a great deal of experience with CAG training or bonding so I'm not sure. I know they can be very "brat" like in nature and tempermant. It sounds liek the CAG has associated negative experiences with you or other individuals that you remind them of. Does she play with small foot toys? ONe thing i do with my B&G is let him hang out on the couch with me. I dont mess with him, handle, or pet him unless he wants it, which he definately lets me know he does. Maybe just letting the CAG be around you, entertaining itself or getting a treat for just being with you.

It also sounds like she has bonded with your husband, which happens too. While they may tolerate being handled or interaction with another person, they will only really enjoy it from that one person. This also happened with my Canary Wing, she attached to somoeone that wasn't me.

Its best to just be calm, positive, and rewarding so she can start to associate positive experiences and sensations with you.

Birdman666 said:

My favorite Tusk empathy story.

I was having a particularly bad day at work, and came home just crushed after working my butt off for an extended period of time...

Tusk waddles over to me, sees the kind of shape I'm in, and goes back to his cage. He digs through his food dish and pulls out a cashew. (His favorite nut.) Then waddles back to me and sets the nut down in the palm of my hand.

Then he says: "It's okay. You're a good boy!"

Click to expand...

I know when we are scared or anxious our adrenal rises which causes a slight change in our body odor which is one thing that animals do pick up on, they can smell the fear and sense a large range of emotion. I have asthma my Corgi can seem to detect before I can when I will have breathing issues. He comes and lays on my feet. They can also see it in out facial expressions and feel it in our touch. I also read that parrots / birds see aura's I have not read enough about this yet but from what I have gathered so far. When emotion change so does the aura the birds can see even before we approach them.

Like I said I am still reading up on this and Aura might not have been the best word. Here is a view on African parrots and the color red I though was interesting

Do Birds See in Color?