Parental frustrations

Owlet

Well-known member
Oct 27, 2016
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Lincoln (Eclectus), Apollo (Cockatiel), Aster (GCC)
Lincoln doesn't like my dad and is very clearly uncomfortable when he's around but my dad keeps essentially forcing Lincoln to like him and when I tell my dad off he's just "no I need him to like me" and then when I ask him to listen to me about my bird that I spent several years researching he yells at me saying he's not going to listen and to essentially f*** off. He knows essentially nothing about birds and treats them like a dog and expects them to react like a dog. I'm at my wits end with him and considering not letting him being around Lincoln at all. Lincoln is my bird and I fully support / provide for him. He is my responsibility and it is my job to make sure he feels safe and happy. I'm respectful towards my parents, I listen to them, but when they put the welfare of my responsibility on the line I'm not going to have any tolerance for that especially when they aren't going to listen to me about a topic I have so much more knowledge about.

I don't know why Lincoln doesn't like my dad, he's a big man so maybe that intimidates Lincoln, but I really wish my dad would just accept that and back off. He's not going to like everyone.
 

Scott

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Aug 21, 2010
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Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
You do have a serious dilemma on several levels. I agree you know Lincoln best and are the more knowledgeable caretaker. Why your dad has the need to be "liked" by Lincoln is a separate side-show, most likely an artifact of his head-of-household status and parental status. OTOH, living at home will naturally affect your freedoms. Some relationships are well managed, but most are problematic and require a deft handling of family politics.

As long as there is no overt hostility or actions placing Lincoln in danger, you may have to accept this as a by-product of living at home. (not easy, and I have been there!)
 

itzjbean

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Jan 27, 2017
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Some people just have ZERO understanding about birds and their complex behaviors. Whenever someone asks me what birds/parrots are like, i tell them that they are a lot like horses. They spook easily, have a sense of pride (not like cats and dogs who will cuddle and let anyone touch them) and should be treated with proper respect and space.

Your dad seems pretty arrogant. Can you move out into your own place??
 
OP
Owlet

Owlet

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I just turned 18 Itz so hopefully soon. I'll be going to the community college so a couple friends and I are going to look for places around there in the upcoming few months
 

wrench13

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LOL - just let Lincoln chomp him a few times, maybe your dad will get the message.
 
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Owlet

Owlet

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Oct 27, 2016
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Lincoln (Eclectus), Apollo (Cockatiel), Aster (GCC)
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Lincoln is such a gentle bird he rarely bites unless he doesnt want you touching him or he's uncomfortable and has no where to go. Usually when my dad's around Lincoln has a place to back away to. If my dad doesn't back off and I see Lincoln looking like he's cornered I'll swoop in and bring him back to the safety of my room
 

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