Grabbing an untamed bird from their cage...

My boyfriend has been telling me to just grab my birds and take them out against their will. I did this once and they were scared of me for a month, would hiss at my hands, and wouldn't step up anymore. It actually set back my training in my opinion.. I just want to try and get them to come out themselves (which they've done a few times) but my boyfriend insists they're like dogs and just need to be disciplined and it makes me so upset and angry. Please can someone make me feel better and tell me what I should be doing?
My birds will step up but they hate being touched/scritched and are scared of coming out of the cage.

I feel so bad because I've had them since november. They've definitely made progress but i don't feel like its enough progress for the time i've had them...

Thoughts....?

I try to entice them to come out with millet and they do come out on the door and eat, but then go back in after 5-10 min. I just feel like such an amateur...

http://www.parrotforums.com/budgies...irds-finally-decided-come-out-themselves.html

Heres them out of their cage (from a couple days ago) I think its progress, but I'm not sure... Thank you everyone for the encouragement it makes me feel so much better.

Please don't feel like a failure! It takes time. Although humans see it as a good thing if they're out, and bad if they're always in, truth is that right now if they're not used to coming out, they find more comfort in their "home" right now. You're on the right track coaxing them out with food and letting them be on the door. If they want to go back in after 5-10 minutes, fine. I believe they will eventually want to stay out longer and longer, but will take some time to trust enough to stay out longer. How much time is just going to depend on the individuals.

Although grabbing is never a good idea (unless for emergency such as the house is on fire), I have seen birds before who aren't phased by it, while others will be traumatized for some time after. They're all different. Your birds have already experienced setbacks, so by all means don't do it. You're right, don't listen to your bf . What's the rush anyway? Let the birds get comfortable and confident of their surroundings on their own terms. We humans often want to rush things, trust me I know what it's like, as I've experienced a set back with Griffin that I'm not happy with, but unfortunately we can't rush a bird into getting comfortable any more than we can make another person feel a certain way. Just keep doing what you were doing.. Earning trust can take a while in certain individuals though depending on personality.

Thank you so much you made me feel so much better. You're right there is no rush, they're 4 years old and they have been through a lot so it might take me some time.. But i believe they'll change eventually and become comfortable. Thank you so much

I'm having a setback with my tiel right now too.

As someone who works with wild birds of prey: if you ever NEED to grab your bird for any reason, toss a small towel over it and scoop it up like that. The towel usually confuses them enough to scoop them up easily. Some birds are okay and don't necessarily associate the towel with humans while others get completely traumatized (which is fine in my line of work because we want them to hate humans...not so much great for pet birds) so it really should be an absolute last resort. Millet and sweet talk! That's the way to a tiels heart! Don't ever feel like a failure, the fact that they step up is awesome! Some birds don't like being touched no matter how hard we try so keep that in mind.

I had a beautiful boy named Joey that had been in two other homes. I got him when he was 9 years old.

His first home never let him out and he was in one of those tiny tiny cages that aren't even big enough for a budgie (FOR 7 YEARS). They would yell at him for screaming and traumatized him by hitting the cage with their hands. Poor boy really was unhappy for most of his life

The girl that we got him from had to teach him how to fly and had to really work with him to gain his trust. She did a really wonderful job rehabbing him, and when we got him he was on his way to becoming a great little buddy.

He never did get over his fear of hands, but I was able to stick train him. Joey turned into a wonderful loving boy after about 3 months of working with him. I miss him every day. He was living with my ex, and I found out (the DAY I brought Kyo home) that he passed away. That was one of the most devastating things I've ever found out. I still miss Joey every day. Even through everything he never ever bit me or anyone ever. He was so good natured it just breaks my heart to think anyone would ever mis-treat him.

I would try target training them in the cage and then stick train them if they are afraid of your hands... gradually work your way through to getting them to step really close to your hand on the stick. And always just go at their pace. They will come around.

Enjoy your babies as much as you can... you never know how long you will actually have them in your life

Im sorry kyoto thats so sad I want to cry...

Thank you everyone..
also an update Scout decided to fly out this morning and I watched him walk around for a bit. Suddenly he flew back into his cage by himself ... haha I rewarded him with some millet for flying out I'm just very happy/surprised he flew out again by himself!...

Kakapos said:

Im sorry kyoto thats so sad I want to cry...

Thank you everyone..
also an update Scout decided to fly out this morning and I watched him walk around for a bit. Suddenly he flew back into his cage by himself ... haha I rewarded him with some millet for flying out I'm just very happy/surprised he flew out again by himself!...

Click to expand...

I agree it is never a good idea to just grab your bird unless it is some emergency. If you flood a bird by forcing it to do something against its will, you will never earn its trust and your bird will only see you as a predator.

You are doing the right thing by rewarding his good behavior with something he likes (millet)

If he is gaga over millet, you should use it to you your benefit and start short training sessions with it. Just make sure you withhold it and use it for training only. Start in the morning when he is the most hungry. Just open his cage with millet in hand and see if you can coerce him out, by holding it near the door of the cage. If he makes advances (even small ones), reward him, if he comes out, reward him and walk away. Be consistent, yet keep it short, gradually extending each session over time as the bird starts to trust you. You can use the millet to get him to return to his cage too, should he decide he didn't want to return, just place some inside, make sure he sees you do it, especially if he is hungry, and tell him to return. See what happens.

Edited: I had a canary that was gaga over green leaf lettuce. We allowed this bird free flight out of his cage everyday. When we had to leave the home, out came the green leaf lettuce. We would place it inside his cage and tell him to return and walk away, worked every time.

SoCalWendy said:

Kakapos said:

Im sorry kyoto thats so sad I want to cry...

Thank you everyone..
also an update Scout decided to fly out this morning and I watched him walk around for a bit. Suddenly he flew back into his cage by himself ... haha I rewarded him with some millet for flying out I'm just very happy/surprised he flew out again by himself!...

Click to expand...

I agree it is never a good idea to just grab your bird unless it is some emergency. If you flood a bird by forcing it to do something against its will, you will never earn its trust and your bird will only see you as a predator.

You are doing the right thing by rewarding his good behavior with something he likes (millet)

If he is gaga over millet, you should use it to you your benefit and start short training sessions with it. Just make sure you withhold it and use it for training only. Start in the morning when he is the most hungry. Just open his cage with millet in hand and see if you can coerce him out, by holding it near the door of the cage. If he makes advances (even small ones), reward him, if he comes out, reward him and walk away. Be consistent, yet keep it short, gradually extending each session over time as the bird starts to trust you. You can use the millet to get him to return to his cage too, should he decide he didn't want to return, just place some inside, make sure he sees you do it, especially if he is hungry, and tell him to return. See what happens.

Edited: I had a canary that was gaga over green leaf lettuce. We allowed this bird free flight out of his cage everyday. When we had to leave the home, out came the green leaf lettuce. We would place it inside his cage and tell him to return and walk away, worked every time.

Click to expand...

Hmm Thank you I like the idea of rewarding him when he makes advances I usually will open the door and place millet on it and they climb out and nibble on the millet.
Heres how the cage set up is in case you're wondering what I mean by when I open it. Sawyer will come down for his breakfast when im there but Scout doesnt like me near him when he eats.



I just bought a perch online to stick on the outside of the cage to entice them to step on that, I'll take a picture of that when it comes in. Sorry for the mess been working too much I'm probably gonna clean up tomorrow

I can state with certainty that NO animal or bird likes being forced to do something and you are right that it may scare them and set them back on training. As a Positive Reinforcement/Force Free animal trainer, I have seen with my own eyes the wonderful benefits of giving an animals choices and reinforcing the behavior that you want - and that includes dog training. Taking things in small steps (hand feeding, coming up to the door for millet, then taking the first steps out on a nearby perch) is EXACTLY the right thing to do. And as far as your boyfriend goes - I'm sure he's a nice guy and you may even love him, but it doesn't mean he's always right!! Just a comment from an 'old bird' to a younger one

Never grab a bird from their cage! Cockatiel's are protective of their homes. Your best bet is to open the cage and let your friend come out on their own terms.