conure lets others pet but not me

[tiamat333]

My brother who doesn't take her out of the cage or feed her or isn't even with her most of the time can pet her no problem when i attempt to pet her she goes to bite right now the best interaction she gets from me is me rubbing my nose against her

 

[miloslave]

Hi!

How long have you had her?

 

[tiamat333]

We got her from one of my moms friends when she was a year old so i think in april she will be 3

 

[RavensGryf]

Well.. Perhaps your bird simply prefers your brother over you .

The birds are all MINE, not my husbands, but nonetheless my Pionus Raven will only let him take him out of the cage and be handled. Raven likes me to stand near him and talk to him, but that's about it.
I know of at least 2 other regulars here who have the same experience with their bird. They just know who their favorite is

 

[tiamat333]

Is there anything I can do so that I can pet her

 

[RavensGryf]

Is there anything I can do so that I can pet her

I asked my Raven that, and apparently his answer to me is "no"...

Honestly, it's hard to say. Depends on the bird. Do you tend to move fast? If so, calm your energy. Do you tend to just reach out to touch her? If so, try going in slower and asking her nicely if you can pet her. Try your interaction with her in a different unfamiliar room if you can, and see if her behavior changes. Try offering her favorite treats by hand. Encourage her to step up that way. Just keep in mind that if you "do everything right" and she still seems to not like you as much as your brother, theres not much you can do. Birds have their preferences toward some humans over others just like we do.

 

[miloslave]

That is too true.

As an example how strange birds and their preferences are:

I have had my Charlie for about a month and a half, and seeing that I live alone, I am the sole caregiver, tickelgiver, foodgiver etc. Over this time I have been trying to bond with my bird, got bit many times, making headway little by little.

So I go visit my mom for a weekend, with of course Charlie and Milo in tow. While sitting around the table I let Charlie out of his travel cage, and without missing a step, Charlie went straight over to my mom, whom he doesn't know at all (mom lives far away) and steps up to her, starts giving her kisses, cuddling etc. I could not believe my eyes!

But you know what, that is OK. Charlie and I will find our own rhythm, and little by little I can see I am winning him over.

It takes small steps, sometimes a step backwards, but with a lot of patience, and understanding that not every relationship are the same, you will eventually find that the two of you have your own way of dealing with each other.

It might never be the same as the relationship she has with your brother, but you will find that it is fine. Your little bird is its own little creature with its own little likes and dislikes. We learn to live with it and yet get so much reward from them anyway. [emoji3]

 

[Shellby5]

Is there anything I can do so that I can pet her

Tiamat333 listen carefully. You have to put your foot down. Conures are known for being very intelligent and bullies! They smell fear. And enjoy bossing you around if you let them. (At least mine does.) My conure is a nipper. She's is in my care because her last owners were scared of her. Now she alot nicer and more accepting of strangers. That is a huge step for Athena.

First of all, NEVER try and approach her from above her head. At least not yet. Instead approach her beak. This is how other birds greet each other.

This is going to take a lot of patience and observation on your part. What you do first is get your brother to take her out of her cage and on to a table or somewhere away from the cage.

Try to get her focus on you. When you approach her with your hand, try moving your hand in slowly toward her beak. There is a good chance that she will try to nip at you, the worse thing you can do is flinch. Hold your ground and show her that you just want to scratch her beak. When she let's you, try scratching her beak gently. She will enjoy the beak scratch and most likely want more. Every conure I've ever worked with loved this. You might have to endure a bite or two. Show her that biting will not intimidate or scare you away. As the intelligent bird she is, she will at first be confused that you are not effected by her nipping at you.

Two things that can help greatly is:
1) offer a nice treat when and only when she lets you scratch her beak.
2)While you are getting her to warm up to you, speak softly with reassuring words. Talk to her. She may not understand your words, but see will understand the tone and sweetness of your voice. It works!

Please, let us know how your relationship progresses.

:jumping40