Hi all. My story has some drama to it but I'll try to keep it brief. My wife and I have been married for about four years. She's bipolar with schizo-affective subtype. She's gotten steadily worse during the years and we've reached the point where she can't take care of herself and we are divorcing so she can find a more suitable living situation.
We adopted two birds, around the same time that we got married. A green-cheeked conure (Bubba) and a brown-headed parrot (Jimmy). Both are rescues. Jimmy is poorly socialized. I'm the only one who can pet him and even so, he frequently lashes out unexpectedly and runs me away. Bubba is pretty easy to handle; he doesn't like having his wings manipulated and I can't trim his nails, but he prefers to spend all of his time on my shoulder or cuddled against my arm when I work on the computer.
There are a lot of unknowns in my near future (my wife is in the hospital and presently psychotic) but my mid-term goal is to move back home to to NY (we live in FL). I doubt my wife will ever be in a position to take care of the birds on her own, so they will be coming with me.
This is my dilemma and I appreciate any feedback the community has to offer. My birds are literally the only thing left in my life that bring me joy. I would do anything to give them a healthy life, even if it means giving them up. I just don't know if that's the right choice or not. Once upon a time they spent most of their days out of their cages and interacted with (by my wife). If I have to care for them alone, they're lifestyle will become spending 4-5 hours a day out of their cage during weekdays and more on the weekends. That's a best case scenario, but as I start rebuilding my life I expect to spend more time out of the house trying to stay active, which means cutting into their time. They don't like each other so the company they provide each other doesn't amount to much.
If I give them up, I'm afraid that they won't be loved and treated as they deserve. Jimmy is very shy and defensive and anybody who adopted him would need to have utmost patience. I think Bubba would be more adaptive, but I'm not sure. He came from a breeder, then was in a pet store for about a year, then a home for another year before I adopted him. Most of his life has been spend with us and he's bonded with me. I don't know if putting him through another hand-off would be better for him than restricting his out-of-cage time to a few hours a day.
It's difficult for me to keep perspective because I do want to have them in my life, more than anything. But if (hypothetically) I had some magical guarantee that their next owner would take better care of them than I can, I would give them up.
Please help.
We adopted two birds, around the same time that we got married. A green-cheeked conure (Bubba) and a brown-headed parrot (Jimmy). Both are rescues. Jimmy is poorly socialized. I'm the only one who can pet him and even so, he frequently lashes out unexpectedly and runs me away. Bubba is pretty easy to handle; he doesn't like having his wings manipulated and I can't trim his nails, but he prefers to spend all of his time on my shoulder or cuddled against my arm when I work on the computer.
There are a lot of unknowns in my near future (my wife is in the hospital and presently psychotic) but my mid-term goal is to move back home to to NY (we live in FL). I doubt my wife will ever be in a position to take care of the birds on her own, so they will be coming with me.
This is my dilemma and I appreciate any feedback the community has to offer. My birds are literally the only thing left in my life that bring me joy. I would do anything to give them a healthy life, even if it means giving them up. I just don't know if that's the right choice or not. Once upon a time they spent most of their days out of their cages and interacted with (by my wife). If I have to care for them alone, they're lifestyle will become spending 4-5 hours a day out of their cage during weekdays and more on the weekends. That's a best case scenario, but as I start rebuilding my life I expect to spend more time out of the house trying to stay active, which means cutting into their time. They don't like each other so the company they provide each other doesn't amount to much.
If I give them up, I'm afraid that they won't be loved and treated as they deserve. Jimmy is very shy and defensive and anybody who adopted him would need to have utmost patience. I think Bubba would be more adaptive, but I'm not sure. He came from a breeder, then was in a pet store for about a year, then a home for another year before I adopted him. Most of his life has been spend with us and he's bonded with me. I don't know if putting him through another hand-off would be better for him than restricting his out-of-cage time to a few hours a day.
It's difficult for me to keep perspective because I do want to have them in my life, more than anything. But if (hypothetically) I had some magical guarantee that their next owner would take better care of them than I can, I would give them up.
Please help.
