Discouraged...fact or fiction please...

[Sadie13]

Well the exciting news...dna tests came back and opal is a girl! I am very excited because i have heard female cockatoos are a bit more pleasant?
either way..i'm excited to have found out!

Ok, now on to the bad...i know i am new here and i hope i am not offending anyone...but from what i have read you are all very supportive of each other and are not afraid to be bluntly honest..

that being said, i was emailing a friend who moved to california, his mom use to run and set up bird fairs and expos here in PA. We email occasionally and i was telling him how excited i was about my newest addition and this is what i got back:
u are a jack a**. why don't you ask me about this ? like lol i'm an animal guy . again u are a jacka**. You're gonna get the cockatoo and there's nothing I can say. I've given you my suggestion of a caique and that's all I can do. no point in telling you that cockatoos are horrible pets unless you live in the room and never leave that room because as soon as the thing is lonely your neighbors are gonna be calling the police on you for noise complaints. oh and how your ears will be bleeding from the sound. no point in telling you that you cannot train them not to make that awful ear piercing noise, no point in telling you that that bird will outlive you and annoy you for the entirety of it and probably move on to torture your kids for the duration of their lives until someone sells/give the thing away . it's cool. i'll still stay your friend, i'll make sure to stay your friends so I can can say 25 years from now "so.. hows ur buddy doing?" sarcastically, and you'll automatically know who i'm talking about. i'll be referring to the Devil Bird. the Devil Bird that you haven't bought yet. sorry.. I can only pray for you now...cockatoos are pretty but are only for old def people and people with enough money to buy a separate house miles away from their house for that bird cause it's so loud.

now to be fair he is always a bit negative, but he does have a lot of bird experience so i'm a little concerned now...
And for those who don't know...i do live in a suburban area, my closest neighbor is about a large bus length away and the others a bit farther.
They know i have 2 birds, one with an ear piercing beep that was almost constant when she came home and no one was negative about it...i know they call in the morning and evening, but can't they learn to be indepentant and not all out terrors??? I do work from home and i make sure my birds don't keep a strict routine...but they do have open cage and are out and about when i am up and home.
Thanks and sorry!!!!

 

[thekarens]

If that were my friend I'd dump him immediately if not sooner. Who talks to their friends like that? Not to mention it's obvious regardless of his experience he doesn't know everything.

There's no reason why you and your too can't have a life long relationship that's healthy and happy. Relationships with people have their ups and downs and takes work. The same applies to parrots.

 

[Sadie13]

thank you....i was trying to chalk it up to him having a hard time getting adjusted and settling down in cali, but i was completely blown away by the negativity of it all...

Maybe LA went to his head (too much for us small town people!)
he isn't the friend he use to be i guess....

From everything i have been reading and learning, i am more than happy to work through the behavior issues that come up because they seem worth it in the end. I was feeling so confident in my decision and this took me down a few notches...

 

[getwozzy]

ummmm, well- if you raise your 'too right, then you shouldn't really have a problem...and if you DO have a problem, you work through it. IMHO proper socialization and teaching them how to be independent and self-entertain are major factors.

 

[Freespin]

Sounds like jealousy if you ask me! I have a friend who never had anything nice to say when he heard i was getting an Eckie simply because he wanted to be the one with a new big pretty exciting bird, not me!

I love toos! They can be really sweet and super fun, they are such clowns! Now you get the odd one who is extra loud, you also get the odd one who is extra quiet. The somewhere in between (the norm i guess you could say) yes CAN be loud but its not constant. I have a friend who has one who very rarely screeches which is lovely. My partners on the other hand can get quite loud and when i first met my partner (not being a bird person at the time either) i couldnt stand the noise!! At that time she was kept in a rather dark corner of the house where she couldnt see much, now since he has moved she has her own sun room, 3 sides of which are windows so she is much happier and screeches less. I have gotten used to the sound and dont find it so bad now either, i mean its not what i would call pleasant but its definitely tolerable and im sure that if he did more with her and kept her a bit busier she would be quieter still.

 

[Kalidasa]

It sounds like he's quoting his experience, with a ' Too he couldn't handle, and is assuming (because he thinks he's god) that no one else could ever handle the breed. Each bird is different. What you quoted is words typed by a douche. Sounds like your home is the ideal situation any captive bird could hope for. What a hater.

 

[Terry57]

I don't have experience with 'toos, but I just had to chime in about the message you got. So it sounds like he would only have been happy and supportive of you if you got the bird that he recommended? I'm sorry, but a friend shouldn't call you names because you make a choice he doesn't agree with.

This is your life, and your choice! I think that most birds come with issues that require training, and a cockatoo is no different. I think you should make the decision that is right for you. It sounds like you are already in love with Opal - please don't let his negativity influence what could be a wonderful, lifelong relationship with that beautiful 'too

 

[Freespin]

Oh and even if he isn't supportive, you have a huge group of supportive people you can turn to here on the forum if you have any questions or need help with anything =D

 

[Sadie13]

Thank you all so much! i like you all a lot more than i like him right now, and i have been his friend for years...

You are all amazing and ridiculously supportive!
i am so happy i found this forum! it has come up on google when i had questions about my other fids, but i figured i was going to need to be a member if i was going to take on a cockatoo! i know they are a lot more challenging than other parrots. but i also feel like i can handle it

yeah i was feeling some jealousy too. I know things haven't been the best for him, but every time we write i am just overjoyed with how my life is going and he is negative nancy realizing its harder to "get discovered let alone find an apartment out there"
I think i am done with him and his opinions. You all seem to have a better head on your shoulders and made me feel so much better in such a short amount of time!

 

[Freespin]

As hard as it is, sometimes you need to do whats best for yourself and if that means letting him go as a friend or even just taking a break from him for a while then there is no shame in that. Its all to easy to be brought down by other peoples negativity!

 

[MikeyTN]

Cockatoos can be very clingy. But if taught properly they do just fine. Dixie our Lesser Sulphur Crested does just fine. The only time she screams is if we're watching tv and her lights is out. She doesn't like it. Sometimes she'll scream to be silly. But she is rather quiet 98% of the time. My next door neighbor never complained about the screams as they're rather close to our house as they have a single drive way and so do we in between us and they never hear it they say as my biggest screamer is Willie the macaw as he's rotten if he don't get his ways and he's taught Lola to scream like that too.....

 

[Allee]

That message was extremely harsh and mean spirited. It hurt my feelings. Sadly, I'm getting immune to people questioning my sanity because I have a too. I can't help it. I'm crazy about my boy. I invited my neighbors over to meet the guy behind the voice. They love him and insist they can't hear him ever. He was re homed twice for screaming but he only flock calls in the morning and evening and not always then. He was allowed to run up people's arms by his past owners. After only four training sessions he no longer even tries. I can hold him upside down and he likes to play on his back. He loves foraging and I set him up with plenty of opportunities and he entertains himself for hours. I agree they aren't for everyone but neither are chihauhas. My only problem is I want a galah or Goffin's now.

As for outliving you, pick out someone who can't say no and leave the bird in your will. My son rescued my cockatoo and brought h to me to take care of. He knows he'll get the U2 back someday along with the rest of my flock. Try to keep a sense of humor. The guy doesn't know what he's missing.

 

[aether-drifter]

I'd rather listen to a screaming cockatoo than the bullsh*t coming out of that "friend"'s mouth. What an unhelpful jerk!! Also, bird experience be damned...it truly doesn't sound to me like he knows cockatoos.

 

[Sadie13]

thanks, i am definitely going to make sure we get the independence down. But i am home alone a lot during the day and the birds (and my 3 yr old)keep me company. My 3 yr old will be starting preschool this year so i was wanting Opal to know the craziness of havng my daughter home all day rather than coming into a quiet few hours for just the birds...if that makes sense. That way she wont be sad on sick days/ weekends and wont come in expecting so much one on one.

I dont think it is going to be easy by any means, but the cops being called and torturing my kids really freaked me out! I was worried about posting allie because i know there are a lot of too owners here who are more than happy to deal with the screams, and i will be to! I apologize for it being harsh and i am equally sorry if it did bother you...

As far as taking over, i wasnt expecting them to outlive me. I'm in my late 20's...ok late, late 20's and from my understanding these guys wont be living past 40? If so i dont think it will be a problem. My now 5yr old loves the birds. She picks toys out for them, helps me feed them and as i said in another post, she has apraxia and her and my eckie are like the paulie move to a T. They will sit and watched it together and it is just too adorable! So i have faith that she will be more than happy to take over if anything were to happen to us.

Thank you all for your kind words!

 

[Allee]

Sadie, I gave you the wrong impression. I am so sorry. I'm glad you posted his message. I didn't mean to sound preachy. I meant his message to you was harsh and the content was hurtful.

I was just trying to let you know there are a lot of positives and the negatives can be overcome. I was sort of joking about the birds outliving us. I tease my son about about inheriting my flock.

I think you are right about the noise level. In fact it sounds like you have your busy household in order. I just hate to see someone's negativity make you feel bad and question your heart's decision.

 

[Anansi]

I just wanted to chime in and say that this thread is an example of EXACTLY why I love this forum!

Sadie, I agree with all that's been said here, both as regards your 'too, and in reference to your "friend". (Kalidasa's take on him made me laugh so suddenly that I almost choked! Lol)

Make sure to keep us updated every step of the way. I look forward to watching you prove him wrong. (Not that his opinion matters, but nonetheless.)

 

[MikeyTN]

Just wanna mention that Dixie is a total sweetie, she plays by herself, entertains herself, etc. She LOVES certain birds that flies to her side and visit her. There's two parakeets and a pair of Canaries that visits her side and she does great with them. I think she likes the company of other birds visiting her. I dunno what we gonna do since we're building an aviary and putting her in a cage since I'm not satisfied by the one she's in right now. But she's rather happy in it, I may need to find a smaller one, not double sided and have the canaries with her as she likes them the best. She's been with us for over 8 years and she's nothing but a joy to have around as she is not clingy nor a screamer. She lets me clip her nails as I don't have to restrain her to do so. I dunno IF all female LSC2 will be the same but I've known others who had females and they're total sweetheart. I'm sure you'll be fine with your new baby so don't take in too much of what your rude friend is saying to you.

 

[Agapornis]

I agree with what everyone above has said. I also want to add that he sounds EXTREMELY immature. All the so-called "traits" he claimed that a too has could be applied to ANY bird, if it wasn't raised right. You don't need his hateful, negative energy in your life.

Your home sounds great, and any bird would be lucky to live there with you and your family!

 

[punkindave]

I'd rather listen to a screaming cockatoo than the bullsh*t coming out of that "friend"'s mouth. What an unhelpful jerk!! Also, bird experience be damned...it truly doesn't sound to me like he knows cockatoos.

WORD, if anybody (especially a "friend") spoke to me like that they'd certainly get an equally spiked response, what a douche!!

I can say from experience that nothing prepares you for owning one of these challenging animals. They aren't for everybody and they do require more time and patience than most people are willing to give. This is not a bad thing or a reflection on the owner, it's just fact. Only you can determine if you have the resources to make it work, everybody has different tolerance levels and patience. I hope everything works out for you!

 

[BirdyMomma]

WHAT THE ****!!!!!

I can't believe I JUST saw this!!!!

NONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!

Your friend is a JERK, and next time you talk to him, you tell him that just because HE is not able to be a good parent to a cockatoo, does not mean that YOU can't be a good parent to a cockatoo.

You are going to do AWESOME!!!! Most people are afraid of a little hard work. But as most bird people know, a little hard work, and a little extra time make a LOT of difference in a little birds life.