How do you deal with the strange looks people give you?

[BoomBoom]

I tossed this question out to Wannabeaparrot (Pritti's human). I wanted to hear how you guys handle it. When I take Boomer out with me, I mostly get nice people reacting, but there are also those that give weird looks. I get a vibe from them like:

A) I'm a joke
B) I'm cruel for keeping him in a cage - Boomer hates the harness
C) I'm a show off

I want to say I don't care but sometimes I do and it makes it hard for me to get motivated to take Boomer outside more often as a result. I've prepared new stuff for when we go on a 2-3 hour trip to the park. A brighter, bigger travelling cage, matching stand, a fold up chair and tons of books to read while he gets some sun. I'm just worried that I'd feel demotivated because I am worried about what people would think. How do I get in the right frame of mind? How would you deal with it?

 

[Terry57]

Honestly, it doesn't matter what they think. You should do what makes you and Boomer happy, and ignore them. They honestly aren't worth your time anyway And I bet most are jealous of the beautiful Boomer!

 

[torrap]

I never worry about what other people think.
There is never ONE right way for everybody. No matter what you do will always upset someone.
Ignore it!

 

[antoinette]

Whatever makes you and your bird happy is all that is important

People will ALWAYS make remarks, take it with a pinch of salt.

If I had to take everything everyone said about Mishka personally I would never post on a forum.

It is my life, my choice in what I do

 

[BruceV]

I'm trying to use this saying in my daily life, because I have a hard time with trying to be a "people pleaser". So keep this in mind...What other people think of me is none of my business.

 

[MomtoPercy]

Yup, like others have said - ignore them! You know that what you're doing is good and right, screw the rest!

 

[RavensGryf]

What other people think of me is none of my business.

LOL! That's a good way to think of it!

 

[WannaBeAParrot]

Hi BB. I got your PM and replied there in more detail. I'm of the same thought that th others above wrote. Be oblivious to grumps. I haven't run into that regarding having a parrot with me, but have in other situations. Also, I like to freak them out some grumps a little and say something light or cheery to them to catch them off guard and see if I can get a little smile out of them. Certainly, i would never recommend engaging in any two-way convo with someone who is mean, argumentative, fanatical or just plain nuts.

You could also have a little fun with it and become the total crazy bird man and talk to Boomer a lot, asking him questions, discussing dinner plans, the nice scenery, etc. haha. And, then you can wear one of those t shirts that say "i'm only talking to my parrot today".

I am sooooooo gonna get one.

 

[Kalidasa]

Screw them!

 

[Kalidasa]

^^not literally lol! Have you ever thought of taking Boomer somewhere else besides that particular park? Somewhere with less people around? I lived in Cali, and the parks there are no different than the parks here (except climate)....people milling around always trying to chat someone up, derelicts, teenagers getting high, kids running around screaming...you get the picture. Maybe somewhere with less people..park or not.

 

[strudel]

I listened to some stress book I got from the library. The author said something along the lines of "there are no external events, only our perception of them". What you are interpreting as "weird" and critical of you is your perception. They might be thinking something entirely different.

Anyway, as wanna be a parrot said, I tend to smile and nod and say "gidday". (it's an australian thing). Most people will drop the stunned mullet look and say gidday back. It's no biggie if they don't.

 

[Anansi]

Unfortunately, I'd never taken my dearly departed cockatiel, Suzie, out in public. And I won't have that experience with young Bixby until the weather warms up, but my attitude toward people's opinions pretty much mirrors what you've read above. People always have something to say. Just the nature of the beast. I've found that I just had to condition myself not to be so sensitive to it.

Example. One of my brothers suffers from mental retardation. I remember that, as a child, I used to get somewhat embarrassed whenever he would do something in public to draw stares from surrounding onlookers. Some glances were merely curious. Some kindly. And sadly, quite a few were derisive in nature. But one day, a revelation hit me. In Kalidasa's words, I figured: Screw them! (And yes, I agree. NOT literally! Lol)

So, from then on, anytime I found myself squirming a bit under the intensity of their regard, I forced myself to go into MORE public situations with my brother. More and more, until I really and truly no longer cared. Conditioning.

Point is, I love my brother. I can't control other people's reactions toward him, and sequestering ourselves was not an option I'd entertain. So that left the only variable I could control: me!

They're people. Just people. No different from you or I. With no power to judge me or anything that I do. So screw them. Lol!

@Kalidasa: Just had to mention how often your posts make me burst out laughing! Hahaha! Good stuff!

 

[Sadie13]

i feel the same way! I love taking mango out and he loves his walks around the neighborhood and trips to the pet store. He of course, draws a lot of attention and an extra 30 min goes into people asking questions and petting him (he is such an attention hog!). I am insecure anyway so i always just assume people are thinking i'm being a show off or crazy lady.
I think people are more curious and enjoy seeing them (a small portion just hateful and jealous)
it seems most stares are from people too shy to come up and find out more about them.

Go enjoy yourself and boomer! i have a hard time with it myself, but its your life and others thoughts of it shouldn't get in the way (even though odds they aren't thinking anything except oooh a parrot).

 

[Birdman666]

The answer for me has always been I don't give a rat's a$$...

My birds go out with me all the time, because it's what makes them happy, and it's what makes me happy.

If others don't like it, then they don't.

I don't control what other people think. I am in charge of my own happiness, and their safety when we are out and about...

Other people's opinions of that doesn't really matter.

 

[FrankD]

Give them strange looks back...


The only thing that matters is that you are doing something that makes Boomer happy. If your human child had something physical defect which caused others to stare or give you looks, would you stop taking them to the park? Don't make Boomer suffer because of other peoples ignorance.

 

[JerseyWendy]

I LOVED reading the responses.

I personally don't give a hoot either what other people think of me. I completely share Kalidasa's mentality (her first post )

 

[Jayyj]

Not a problem for me. I've been getting strange looks for far longer than I've had a parrot...

 

[Birdman666]

not a problem for me. I've been getting strange looks for far longer than i've had a parrot...

best answer yet! I just got soda up my nose... :d

 

[Sadie13]

Not a problem for me. I've been getting strange looks for far longer than I've had a parrot...

I love this, and oh how true!
great way to look at it lol!!!

 

[BirdyMomma]

When Bacci was still alive, we used to take him to the beach. We would either early, or late, or in September, when there were far less people around. Also, we would go to the less frequented beaches, so we wouldn't be right on top of people.

We built a special perch, that we dug into the sand between our chairs, and we had umbrellas so he would be shaded. He LOVED it. Loved, loved, LOVED it. You could see the joy on his face.

Usually people would just look and smile, or point him out, but there was one day, where this woman just would not stop giving us the dirtiest looks. I actually mentioned it to my boyfriend, but he had already noticed it, and he said something along the lines of what was said before.

I was just astounded that a beautiful little creature would inspire any kind of hostility in anyone..... when I put it that way, it seems obvious. SHE was the one with the problem, not us.

Enjoy your outside time with Boomer, it is such a wonderful and fun experience.