Hi everyone,
I often read these boards, but I havenāt posted before. I so wish I could be posting under different circumstances, but my much-loved Salvinās Amazon, Sam, died in April. My mother bought him in 1974 from a couple who had purchased him from a pet shop in the Midwest. He was likely wild-caught, so we donāt know exactly how old he was, but the couple had him for two years and said he was two when they got him, so we think he was about 45 years old.
Iāve never known life without him, and the grief is very deep. Pretty much my life has just stopped, and all color has gone out of my world. He chose me to be his only āpersonā when I was 4 (after turning on my mother), and so Iāve been his primary caregiver all this time. I know losing Sam would have devastated me whenever it happened (he was my only āpet,ā and a huge focus of my life), but what makes it especially hard is that Iād always read that, with good care, Amazons could live to be 70 or 80. Since he died far short of that, it seems like I must not have given him good care! I feel like I robbed Sam of almost half his life!
Iām still waiting for the pathology reports, and I donāt yet know the exact cause of death (the gross necropsy found fluid in his lungs and a slightly enlarged heart). He went into respiratory arrest (after something stupid I did which I canāt yet bring myself to write about) and died in my arms. He had been on medicine for suspected heart issues for the last two months of his life. I had tons of blood work and tests (X-rays, echocardiogram) done last June when he began to show signs of ill health, and he had been back to two different avian vets several times since then, but there was never a smoking gun, and so it was difficult to know what to do. Apparently, the only diagnostic tool left was a CT scan, but I was afraid of the risks of the anesthesiaā¦ I would have done anything for him, but now I feel so guilty for letting him down when it most mattered. Itās like I cheated him out of 30+ years of life!
Have any of you felt this way when your parrot died far short of his or her expected lifespan? How did you cope? The guilt on top of the sadness is just devastating.
I often read these boards, but I havenāt posted before. I so wish I could be posting under different circumstances, but my much-loved Salvinās Amazon, Sam, died in April. My mother bought him in 1974 from a couple who had purchased him from a pet shop in the Midwest. He was likely wild-caught, so we donāt know exactly how old he was, but the couple had him for two years and said he was two when they got him, so we think he was about 45 years old.
Iāve never known life without him, and the grief is very deep. Pretty much my life has just stopped, and all color has gone out of my world. He chose me to be his only āpersonā when I was 4 (after turning on my mother), and so Iāve been his primary caregiver all this time. I know losing Sam would have devastated me whenever it happened (he was my only āpet,ā and a huge focus of my life), but what makes it especially hard is that Iād always read that, with good care, Amazons could live to be 70 or 80. Since he died far short of that, it seems like I must not have given him good care! I feel like I robbed Sam of almost half his life!
Iām still waiting for the pathology reports, and I donāt yet know the exact cause of death (the gross necropsy found fluid in his lungs and a slightly enlarged heart). He went into respiratory arrest (after something stupid I did which I canāt yet bring myself to write about) and died in my arms. He had been on medicine for suspected heart issues for the last two months of his life. I had tons of blood work and tests (X-rays, echocardiogram) done last June when he began to show signs of ill health, and he had been back to two different avian vets several times since then, but there was never a smoking gun, and so it was difficult to know what to do. Apparently, the only diagnostic tool left was a CT scan, but I was afraid of the risks of the anesthesiaā¦ I would have done anything for him, but now I feel so guilty for letting him down when it most mattered. Itās like I cheated him out of 30+ years of life!
Have any of you felt this way when your parrot died far short of his or her expected lifespan? How did you cope? The guilt on top of the sadness is just devastating.
Even though he wasn't my only "pet", his passing was especially difficult for me to deal with.
