Needing advice!

[conureluver77]

Hey so I have 2 wonderful, adorable baby conures that I've had since about May 6 or 7 and I was wondering if I could get some advice/help.

My mom bought them out of the blue after i got out of being in the hospital and I was recently diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. She thought that the babies would help me out but it's been extremely difficult. I also have anxiety, depression and insomnia. Taking care of them isn't the real problem. Ive been feeding them various fruits & veggies because I read that having them is best as well as a few other things like Harrison food, millet, (sometimes), nuts, sunflower seeds etc. They have a huge cage and lots of toys that they love, have taken them to the vet the day after I got them to make sure their healthy They have another appointment this week (For wing clipping) I'm more worried the other work that goes into it. (Especially training) As well as not being able to give them enough attention. Plus my insomnia is extreme & anxiety has been awful.

I have been thinking about giving them away but to a place or home where they'd be happy. I read they can live up to 30 yrs old. If my mental health wasn't as bad at the moment then yeah I could but I'm more worried that I might end up not caring for them properly. I'm extremely upset with my mom because she just threw a huge responsibility at me when I'm not well.

 

[YSGC]

Kudos to you for looking out for and speaking up for these innocent and wonderful creatures.

I'd first try to bring them back to where they were purchased.
Tell them everything you just posted.

If that fails give them back to your mother.
While I feel for these innocent birds, you have NO responsibility here.
She does.

Shame on your mother; she blew it!
What she did is as inexcusable as giving a puppy for Xmas, or bunnies to kids on easter.
Grrrr! I'm sick and tired of people using these magnificent creatures as if they were a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers.

Make your mother solve the problem she created!

 

[conureluver77]

Kudos to you for looking out for and speaking up for these innocent and wonderful creatures.

I'd first try to bring them back to where they were purchased.
Tell them everything you just posted.

If that fails give them back to your mother.
While I feel for these innocent birds, you have NO responsibility here.
She does.

Shame on your mother; she blew it!
What she did is as inexcusable as giving a puppy for Xmas, or bunnies to kids on easter.
Grrrr! I'm sick and tired of people using these magnificent creatures as if they were a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers.

Make your mother solve the problem she created!

I did try talking to the people where they were purchased but they didn't take them back. They were sympathetic however for me if they were truly then they would have taken them back.
My mom is a stubborn woman sadly and she refused to help. Whenever I have problems whether caused by her or not she always tells me that I'm an adult so I should be able to deal with it. (I'm 27) She also knows nothing about birds & she's a cat person too. For that I don't trust her with them as I'd be worried about their well being.

 

[Jen5200]

I agree with YSGC’s sentiments completely, but am glad they are with you right now since you genuinely care about their wellbeing (thank you for that!). I think you would be surprised how many members here actively discuss their mental health and how having parrots works with it. You may want to take a read through this thread before you leap into any action http://www.parrotforums.com/questions-answers/74949-mental-illness-owning-parrots.html. Ultimately only you can decide if you are able to or want to take on a long term commitment with companion birds. I feel pretty confident that this forum will support whatever your decision is, knowing that you have the best interests of the birds and yourself in mind. The good news is, if you decide to rehome the birds, it sounds like you can take the time to find a good home for them (I didn’t detect a huge urgency, but more uncertainty on your part?). There’s good info and advice here - please feel free to ask. And welcome to you

 

[YSGC]

Kudos to you for looking out for and speaking up for these innocent and wonderful creatures.

I'd first try to bring them back to where they were purchased.
Tell them everything you just posted.

If that fails give them back to your mother.
While I feel for these innocent birds, you have NO responsibility here.
She does.

Shame on your mother; she blew it!
What she did is as inexcusable as giving a puppy for Xmas, or bunnies to kids on easter.
Grrrr! I'm sick and tired of people using these magnificent creatures as if they were a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers.

Make your mother solve the problem she created!

I did try talking to the people where they were purchased but they didn't take them back. They were sympathetic however for me if they were truly then they would have taken them back.
My mom is a stubborn woman sadly and she refused to help. Whenever I have problems whether caused by her or not she always tells me that I'm an adult so I should be able to deal with it. (I'm 27) She also knows nothing about birds & she's a cat person too. For that I don't trust her with them as I'd be worried about their well being.

What your mother did is so over the top outrageous that it sounds more like a pattern than a one-time booboo.

Not confronter her on this is enabling your mother's garbage.
She wouldn't get away with this stuff because if you really stood up for yourself by calling her on it.

The wellbeing of these two birds is HER problem.

Tell her to get rid of her cats so she can spend her next 35 years taking care of the birds she bought.
They are HER birds.

What she did was wrong, but you not putting an end to her bad behavior is also wrong.

If you think returning the birds to her is outrageous, it's not as outrageous as what she has inflicted upon you.
Why oh why do people treat family members worse than they'd treat strangers?

 

[charmedbyekkie]

While I understand the sentiment, Captain YSGC, I don't think a person who purchases birds on a whim should be in charge of their care.

To OP:

I totally feel you. Sometimes my mental health gets to me, and I feel like I struggle to be the parront I should be.

Your next step is entirely up to you. You've got 2 conures, and it sounds like you've been doing a great job with them. You can read around this forum - there are sometimes when we can only give the bare minimum of care (whether due to mental health, due to work reasons, due to relationship changes), but so long as it is balanced with good times, it can work out. Not ideal, but no one's life is perfect or ideal. If you find that these birds add something to your life and you feel like you can go through ups and downs with these birds, then you shouldn't feel ashamed of keeping them.

That being said, if you feel like this really isn't healthy for you, then let's consider viable options since the original owner/breeder won't take them back.

- You can put them up for adoption, make sure you vet through potential owners well before rehoming. You can even list them up for adoption in this forum. Your avian vet might be able to assist here as well.

- You can find a rescue that might take them in. I'm not familiar with Canadian rescues, but there are Canadians in the forum who might be able to help you. The rescues will typically vet any potential owners for you. I'm sure if you explain your situation, they would be willing, especially since young birds are very adoptable.

I'm sure there are options for you, but those two are the ones that I can think of to best ensure a good home.

I do hope you are doing well and have a support system around you. Please know there is no judgement if you decide to keep or rehome - only you know your situation best and you have to make decisions based on the cards in your hand at this point in time. All the best wishes to you.

 

[conureluver77]

While I understand the sentiment, Captain YSGC, I don't think a person who purchases birds on a whim should be in charge of their care.

To OP:

I totally feel you. Sometimes my mental health gets to me, and I feel like I struggle to be the parront I should be.

Your next step is entirely up to you. You've got 2 conures, and it sounds like you've been doing a great job with them. You can read around this forum - there are sometimes when we can only give the bare minimum of care (whether due to mental health, due to work reasons, due to relationship changes), but so long as it is balanced with good times, it can work out. Not ideal, but no one's life is perfect or ideal. If you find that these birds add something to your life and you feel like you can go through ups and downs with these birds, then you shouldn't feel ashamed of keeping them.

That being said, if you feel like this really isn't healthy for you, then let's consider viable options since the original owner/breeder won't take them back.

- You can put them up for adoption, make sure you vet through potential owners well before rehoming. You can even list them up for adoption in this forum. Your avian vet might be able to assist here as well.

- You can find a rescue that might take them in. I'm not familiar with Canadian rescues, but there are Canadians in the forum who might be able to help you. The rescues will typically vet any potential owners for you. I'm sure if you explain your situation, they would be willing, especially since young birds are very adoptable.

I'm sure there are options for you, but those two are the ones that I can think of to best ensure a good home.

I do hope you are doing well and have a support system around you. Please know there is no judgement if you decide to keep or rehome - only you know your situation best and you have to make decisions based on the cards in your hand at this point in time. All the best wishes to you.

Oh I confronted my mom about it but it is like talking to a brick wall. It's not just me in the family that can't talk sense into her.
Thanks for the information, advice and support that I'm getting so far. I greatly appreciate it. I definitely will read more in this forum. I actually came by this forum by mistake when I was googling information about conures.

At the moment I don't have much of a support system regarding family and friends but I'm currently doing group therapy.

 

[wrench13]

A parrot is a big responsibility, yes, but they can also help you focus on empathy, since they definitely give more than you put in, in the way of care, companionship and love. But, trying to tame and keep tame 2 parrots of the same species , caged together is more challenging than having 1, since they tend to bond with each other (birds) than you
( human). I would suggest if you intend to progress with parront-ship, you rehome 1 of them.