Permanently strained relationship with Amazon parrot (considering giving him away)

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,671
10,076
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
In a series of PM of the last couple of years, I have been questions as to why I tend to be so Hard Hearted and a bunch of other terms regarding my less than kind words to those who far too quickly assume that all the Problems with the relationship they 'do not have' with their Parrots is the fault of the Parrot!

I have dealt with the Trashed Amazons, those left behind to die or to spend years in a back corner because their 'Owners' did not take the time to learn basics and more importantly: Have No Understanding What Forever Means!

The development of the Thread in the Amazon Forum "I Love Amazons - ..." targeted what needed to be known beyond what Birdman666 had written. The very first Segment of that very long Thread defined 'Why I Love Amazons." For the OP's use and you reading this I have included it below. But, prior to reading it, I want each of you to know that your Avian Vets are seeing an ever increasing number of young Parrots showing up 'STARVING!' The combination of 'stupid Breeders and stupid Owners' are killing and/or setting in place serious behavior problems! Things are getting worst!


I Love Amazons!

Over the years, I have enjoyed the company of the full cross-section of large parrots, nearly all well loved by their Owners. I am often asked; which is my favorite and without hesitation, I state that my favorite is that raucous group of Parrots know as Amazons. The common second question is: WHY Amazons? They are so difficult!

Difficult? What is so difficult about Amazons! At this point, the questioner commonly tells any number of stories of the much-fabled Flaming Hot Three, The Hormonal Maniacs, The Screaming Monsters, The Flesh Devouring Vampires, The Territorial Hoarders, and The Cruel Divider of Families. Stories, Stories and more Stories of that fabled New World Green Killer!

Then I begin asking questions ā€“ commonly the bird or birds in question had been purchased on the quick and far more commonly, the cheap. The new owner was provided little or no information, let alone what constitutes a healthy meal or proper living quarters, then surprise, surprise the little green bundle turns into a Mass Murderer! It would be truly humorous, if not for the part where they dump the bird!

It must be a new fault in the Human personality or a recent failure in our rearing of Humans, which has resulted in the growing number of Humans that believe that life requires nothing more then simply wanting something for it to magically be that way. Possibly, itā€™s the affect of the wonders of modern technology - that fresh from the box - instance gratification of extremely complicated technology that by simply adding batteries, plugging it in, or connection to the net and ā€˜It Worksā€™! Gratifying our momentary want, before we whisk onto our next want. Whatever happened to actually having to work for something? Reality Check: Living Things do not function that way. Surprise, you have to work at having a ā€˜Successful Relationshipā€™ with Living Things!

Amazons Are Simple! All you have to do is pay attention and they will clearly tell you what is working and what is not. Amazonā€™s tell you like it is, no rouse, no guessing, no game playing, just to the point, the way it is! All we Humans have to do is to use only a small percentage of our enormous brains and simply be observant. How hard is that? You would think that we are asking a Human to cut-off their arms and legs!

That same Amazon, now having lived though the passing from one dead-end relationship after another, with stops between in those wonderful places called ā€œHouse of Horrorsā€ or more commonly referred to as Pet Stores, can by luck or divine intervention find its way into a true home. You know, one of those seemly rare places in which individuals value each other and contribute to their abilities. There, that Green Mass Murderer, by great transformation, becomes the love of that familyā€™s life. How can this be? A Vampire to a Lover, what Storybook can this be from?

There is no storybook - it is simply why I love Amazons. Through all the past miss-treatment with a little bit of love, understanding and observation they are the ā€œCome Back Kidā€™sā€ of the Avian World. It can even occur in the same home that had defined that Amazon as the New World Green Killer. Is this possible? And, in the same home? Yes, a simple change on the part of the Humans and its time for the Lover to come forth!

Anyone that has known me for even a short period of time, know that I have a Love for Amazons. I Love the Feather, Flesh, that Amazon Scent, that heartwarming Blood of the Living Amazon, which does not require batteries and is not simply de-activated by pulling the plug or pushing the OFF button. I Love In Your Face Amazons! A Warm Blooded, Living, Reality Check, Everyday!

Put that latest greatest electrical gratification toys away, engage a living creature. You may just find that there is far more to life than that momentary gratification techno toy. Without engaging that living creature, such a statement would never be possible.

Amazons are not toys! And Fools are justly rewarded for their self-centered stupidity. Let the Fools write their stores, with hope it will keep other Fools from thinking that their next toy should be an Amazon!

Amazonsā€™ Have More Fun! And, the brighter, more open, Loving Humans quickly find that to be true! Individuals who are successfully Owned by an Amazon are the kind of People that I have always found to be a True Joy being around!

There is no question in my mind that: Amazonā€™s Rule!

To those many here on Parrot Forums that Love and Care for your Parrots: Thank-You, from the bottom of my Heart!
 
Last edited:

Ladyhawk

New member
Apr 30, 2017
489
18
Parrots
Kizzy - (most likely) female blue-fronted Amazon, hatched on May 1, 2017; Gabby - Male double yellowheaded Amazon, hatched, April 1, 1986; died February 22, 2017
I understand your frustration and heartache and I wonder if the situation can be boiled down to a very simple example... your parrot still wipes his beak on the same picture despite having being told no thousands of times not to. Yet you haven't taken the picture down. Or put something on the frame to mean it's safe that he can do it.

You can't have an Amazon on the side. Before every decision in my life, I always asked, "How will it affect Gabby?" He was with me for over thirty years. If I left for more than day, I had to find a sitter or take him with me. If I couldn't find anyone or couldn't take him, I didn't go. Now I'm fixing to put streamers around a ceiling fan because I have to stop my baby blue front from flying up there. Will it look tacky? I don't care. I'm a thousand times more interested in keeping her safe.
 

Flboy

Well-known member
Dec 28, 2014
12,599
4,105
Greater Orlando area, Florida
Parrots
JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
The OP sounds like me when I was debating leaving my first wife! Had someone stepped up and kicked my butt, three lives might be very different! Scrambled eggs are so hard to fix!
 
OP
bostralian

bostralian

New member
Sep 17, 2016
22
0
Parrots
I have a blue fronted Amazon :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #24
Hi,

I don't know whether any of you will see this, but you all sound so experienced with parrots and know exactly what you're doing.

Would any of you be willing to Skype with me so I can show you exactly what I mean? Sort of like a mentor, where I can learn from my mistakes.

I really love my parrot, and I do believe that he is generally a happy bird. I do not want to give him away, but sometimes I wonder whether it would be easier for both of us. I really want this relationship to work, and I think I could greatly enrich his life if we could solve this.

I'd be very grateful.

Please let me know, and I will provide my Skype username.

Regards,
 

itchyfeet

New member
Nov 1, 2014
1,013
7
Middle Earth
Parrots
Ethyl the cockatiel, Henry & Clarke the IRN's, and Skittles the lovebird (my daughters)
Spoken like a man who has never been seriously gnawed on by an ekkie, or a 'too... or a macaw! Lol!

very true.

It's worse than a bite from a Ringneck! and a worse than a cockatiel that wants you dead!

Hahahaha! A cockatiel that wants you dead? The imagery of that is hilarious! So little, yet so fierce! (Any fans of the Dresden books out there? Anyone? Anyone? ...Bueller?)

I know I've mentioned to you before that I used to have a cockatiel. Since Suzie passed, we hadn't been around cockatiels much until a few years later when I was taking out my sister's half tame 'tiel from the cage. He got used to me rather quickly, but then hissed at first when my wife reached out to pet him. Funny thing was, we both looked at each other and then burst out laughing at the same moment. After dealing with ekkie beaks for so long, the little 'tile's implied threat just seemed so gosh darned... cute! Lol!

You laugh. My worst most damaging bite came from my little brothers very angry teil! And I live with ringnecks and handle the toos!!! It's true.

OP - Hang in there. I'm not going to skype you because I don't know that I have the expert abilities and don't want to lead you astray. Take your paintings down, find a clicker, figure out his treat food, and take it one day at a time. A wee 7 year old came into my home this morning, and put her hand up to my blue IRN, Clarke. He promptly stepped up on her, and sat on her shoulder for a solid thirty minutes. Clarke is flighted, not clipped. He was also cage bound and described as untouchable by his previous owner.

I have two advantages on my side. He is young, and I have a second. I'm not in any way saying a second bird would fix your problem - it could be quite the opposite! But for me, my bonded IRN could help show the way.

It is possible. Take a breath and a break, and reframe the situation. We would love to all be here to try and help along the way. It's a rewarding this to watch stories of distress morph, with time and dedication, into stories of success.
 
Last edited:

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,671
10,076
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
Hi,

I don't know whether any of you will see this, but you all sound so experienced with parrots and know exactly what you're doing.

Would any of you be willing to Skype with me so I can show you exactly what I mean? Sort of like a mentor, where I can learn from my mistakes.

I really love my parrot, and I do believe that he is generally a happy bird. I do not want to give him away, but sometimes I wonder whether it would be easier for both of us. I really want this relationship to work, and I think I could greatly enrich his life if we could solve this.

I'd be very grateful.

Please let me know, and I will provide my Skype username.

Regards,


I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you response and provide what I believed to be underlying in your Thread.

I will PM you and also one of the Super Moderators to talk about whether starting with Skype or exchanging PM's will be the best place to start.

Once again, happy to see you respond.

SailBoat
 
OP
bostralian

bostralian

New member
Sep 17, 2016
22
0
Parrots
I have a blue fronted Amazon :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #27
Thank you for reaching out!!

I really appreciate it! I just want all the help I can get now. I don't have a 'real life' parrot community, or know anyone who has a parrot to whom I can reach out to for help. This seems like a really great place to start.

It would be really great if we could talk!
 
OP
bostralian

bostralian

New member
Sep 17, 2016
22
0
Parrots
I have a blue fronted Amazon :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #28
I replied to all messages I received but they don't show up in my sent box. So I don't know whether you've received them.

Please forgive me, I'm not familiar with how this forum works, and keep getting lost.

I'll get a hang of it soon!
 

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,671
10,076
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
I replied to all messages I received but they don't show up in my sent box. So I don't know whether you've received them.

Please forgive me, I'm not familiar with how this forum works, and keep getting lost.

I'll get a hang of it soon!

Its just part of the system to provide some level of protection from someone coming in and spamming the membership. Once you have created enough Threads and Posts, the system sees you in a better light! :D

At this point, you are only allowed to create a PM to a Super Moderator (SM) and/or to respond to PM's from a Member.

Enjoy!
 

GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month šŸ†
May 14, 2016
15,072
8,808
Cleveland area
Parrots
The Rickeybird, 40-year-old Patagonian Conure
I am an apologist for "awful" birds, and the Rickeybird (and myself).
Even after all these years, I sometimes find myself putting myself or my bird down... stuff like...
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS OR THAT.
WHY CAN'T HE BE SWEET AND NICE, LIKE A PUPPY?
PEOPLE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I PUT UP WITH THIS.
Stuff like that.
But the Rb is a parrot... one generation out of the wild.
I do all the right things, as much/well as I can, but in the end, I just try to offer him sanctuary.
Some parrots are SO SWEET, some are NOT. :) I'm HAPPY and a bit JEALOUS of those successes.
I have lessened my psychological and physical wounds over the decades... not because I've changed the bird, but I have changed me. And a lot of that has involved giving up on a lot of my desires/expectations. After years of battle, I surrendered. I admit...
Consequently, I have a Tazmanian Devil on my hands. I love him. I have no complaints, really. He's HIMSELF. And I'm MYSELF. And the result... check my Signature for videos. etc., if you like. :)
Over the years, I have been very embarassed/downhearted/sad about having a pet that was so... out of my control.
But finally, I've accepted that I have an amazing half-wild being who loves me and lives with me. It's magic enough.

Best of luck!
 

Anansi

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 18, 2013
22,301
4,211
Somerset,NJ
Parrots
Maya (Female Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Jolly (Male Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Bixby (Male, red-sided eclectus. RIP), Suzie (Male cockatiel. RIP)
Perhaps you could post a video of your interactions with your BFA in lieu of Skyping. Then you'd have more of us watching at once and able to advise you on any body language cues you may be missing.

I can see that you dearly want things to work with him, and such desire (as well as the determination it inspires) is a necessary starting point. From there, your next step will be to learn his body language so as to get a better idea of what he's trying to tell you. Then you can begin building a more solid relationship. It can work. You just have to be willing to put in the time. And it sounds like you are.
 

AmyMyBlueFront

Well-known member
Apr 14, 2015
6,315
Media
4
3,034
Connecticut
Parrots
Amy a Blue Front 'Zon
Jonesy a Goffins 'Too who had to be rehomed :-(

And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
very true.

It's worse than a bite from a Ringneck! and a worse than a cockatiel that wants you dead!

Hahahaha! A cockatiel that wants you dead? The imagery of that is hilarious! So little, yet so fierce! (Any fans of the Dresden books out there? Anyone? Anyone? ...Bueller?)

I know I've mentioned to you before that I used to have a cockatiel. Since Suzie passed, we hadn't been around cockatiels much until a few years later when I was taking out my sister's half tame 'tiel from the cage. He got used to me rather quickly, but then hissed at first when my wife reached out to pet him. Funny thing was, we both looked at each other and then burst out laughing at the same moment. After dealing with ekkie beaks for so long, the little 'tile's implied threat just seemed so gosh darned... cute! Lol!

You laugh. My worst most damaging bite came from my little brothers very angry teil! And I live with ringnecks and handle the toos!!! It's true.

OP - Hang in there. I'm not going to skype you because I don't know that I have the expert abilities and don't want to lead you astray. Take your paintings down, find a clicker, figure out his treat food, and take it one day at a time. A wee 7 year old came into my home this morning, and put her hand up to my blue IRN, Clarke. He promptly stepped up on her, and sat on her shoulder for a solid thirty minutes. Clarke is flighted, not clipped. He was also cage bound and described as untouchable by his previous owner.

I have two advantages on my side. He is young, and I have a second. I'm not in any way saying a second bird would fix your problem - it could be quite the opposite! But for me, my bonded IRN could help show the way.

It is possible. Take a breath and a break, and reframe the situation. We would love to all be here to try and help along the way. It's a rewarding this to watch stories of distress morph, with time and dedication, into stories of success.

An angry cockatiel?? Is there such a thing??? :confused:
Even when we "thumb wrestle" Beebers may get nippy from over excitement..but "angry"? NEVER! there isn't a mean/angry feather on his little body :)



Jim
 

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,671
10,076
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
Just an update: There is a wonderful BFA involved that has a clear want for this relationship to work! Amazon's Rule you know!
 

LeaKP

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2014
3,146
Media
4
2,456
South Africa
Parrots
Congo African Grey
I am an apologist for "awful" birds, and the Rickeybird (and myself).
Even after all these years, I sometimes find myself putting myself or my bird down... stuff like...
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS OR THAT.
WHY CAN'T HE BE SWEET AND NICE, LIKE A PUPPY?
PEOPLE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I PUT UP WITH THIS.
Stuff like that.
But the Rb is a parrot... one generation out of the wild.
I do all the right things, as much/well as I can, but in the end, I just try to offer him sanctuary.
Some parrots are SO SWEET, some are NOT. :) I'm HAPPY and a bit JEALOUS of those successes.
I have lessened my psychological and physical wounds over the decades... not because I've changed the bird, but I have changed me. And a lot of that has involved giving up on a lot of my desires/expectations. After years of battle, I surrendered. I admit...
Consequently, I have a Tazmanian Devil on my hands. I love him. I have no complaints, really. He's HIMSELF. And I'm MYSELF. And the result... check my Signature for videos. etc., if you like. :)
Over the years, I have been very embarassed/downhearted/sad about having a pet that was so... out of my control.
But finally, I've accepted that I have an amazing half-wild being who loves me and lives with me. It's magic enough.

Best of luck!

All of this.

Gail you're the best.

And we love RB too.
 

Notdumasilook

New member
Jul 28, 2015
539
6
Charlotte, NC
Parrots
Blue Fronted Amazon, Cookie..Sun Conure..lil Booger (RIP) Have owned Parakeets, lovebirds, cockatiels, cockatoos, pocket parrot, and quakers.
IF I was a younger man I would beg you for your parrot. I've worked with my share of "impossible" birds in the past.. with the patience of Job of course... and all were rehomed and became part of the "flock". I speak fluent "bird" but took a while to learn the lingo. Methinks if you take a step back and realize their needs instead of your expectations things can improve. They are creatures of habit, driven mainly by 60 million years of instinct. They do not learn by being punished, screamed at, sprayed with water... etc. They communicate thru voice/gesture/body language which you need to decode and establish communication on their level. Do NOT try and make them human children with feathers... they are birds.. respect that. Its a real sense of joy I get when my flock all gets together in the evening for "wak wak" time..when just before bed we all call out "wak waks" to each other... or I sing with them. Its routine... they LIKE routine... just like humans. Mine love to play.... hide and seek.... rub my belly.. pull my tail... or mock fight. They need a lot. They deserve a lot.,, but trust me, they give right back if you meet them halfway. Good luck
 

mh434

New member
Oct 28, 2014
473
9
BC, Canada
Parrots
Yellow-naped Amazon "Sammy"
Love birds (4)
Green-cheeked Conure "Skittles" - now, sadly gone from my life
Blue-Crowned Conure "Tequila"
African Grey "Reno" - sadly, now gone from my life
Bos, I can sympathize. For 2-3 years after I rescued him, my Amazon was lovable and devoted to me. One day, something put him off (possibly our African Grey coming into the household), and he became extremely violent with me (and everyone else, too). After many, many injuries (including a few hospital visits to get patched up), I was actively seeking a new home for him. Of course, even among the most devoted parrot lovers, finding one willing to take on a violent 'Zon turns out to be pretty much impossible. I contacted rescue groups, Amazon specialists, etc., and all gave me the same answer: "Don't call us, we'll call you." *Not surprisingly, none ever did*

After 2 years of this (throwing food into the cage from a distance, etc., so he couldn't get to my eyes, his favorite beak & claws target), and doing things the way I always did when he was still attached to me, I changed things up. Advice from this forum was invaluable!!

First, I started just talking to him. Sit outside his cage, not looking directly at him (that's a "challenge"), and just talking quietly, for around 1/2 hour each day. Initially, he'd fly into a rage at my proximity, but after a couple of weeks, I noticed his level of agitation was slowly starting to come down.

I quit giving him food with soy as an ingredient (it's controversial, but there seems to be mounting evidence that soy can be extremely harmful to parrots), and removed anything remotely resembling nesting material (boxes, paper, etc.) from his cage, all in an effort to reduce hormonal pressure.

I also started carefully regulating his waking hours, by covering him at 9:30 p.m or thereabouts & keeping him covered until 8:00 a.m.

These things have helped. Over the past several months his demeanor has improved and, although he's nowhere near "lovable" yet, he will come for neck skritches more or less on command. He's also starting to talk again, at least a little, after having stopped instantly when his anger began. I am desperately hoping to regain the relationship we had in the past, but it may take a few years to get there. As my wife says, I may not be able to see light at the end of the tunnel yet, but at least I've FOUND the tunnel!

Parrots have LOOOONG memories, and are very, very slow to learn to trust. I believe that IF you can do some of the foregoing, consistently, he will come around.

Be prepared, though - it will take quite a while. You have to be patient enough to outlast his resistance!
 
Last edited:

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,671
10,076
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
Just an update: There is a wonderful BFA involved that has a clear want for this relationship to work! Amazon's Rule you know!

As we start September, there is a BFA that has found that his lady is working hard to understand Amazon Body Language and him! The relationship is redeveloping its foundation. Amazon's Rule you know!
 

Most Reactions

Top