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Hello all. Sorry for the delay. I am one of the blessed who is working remotely and VERY busy. Here's the story. This will be a long one. A week ago Saturday, we gave Jasper up to the rescue organization we know of - filled out the papers saying we relinquish him and took in another bird they felt could be a good fit for us. Don't panic. Jasper is now with us and will not be leaving. Everyone knows we had a very, very rough start. I don't know if I described what he was like but he could barely walk or climb and I thought he was going to fall and hit the floor of his cage. He would face plant every few steps. He didn't know how to step up. He would run away from us pretty much all the time. Nothing motivated him, i.e. being out of the cage, treats, nada. Stick/clicker training had no foundation to work on. He would hang in the upper part of his cage and refuse to come out. He smelled terrible. This was so starkly opposite my experience with my other green cheek (who had died a few weeks before Jasper had come home after an unexplained illness), that I just day and day out felt like it was so much work and not much joy. That maybe we weren't the match for him/way to help him.
But, every day, our relationship with him grew. He stopped hiding all the time. There would be glimpses of his interest in us, following us down the hall if we left the room, for example. If I put him on my shoulder, he would stay there. He liked to be petted at night. Slowly he made growth, as you can see from my previous posts. I had reached out to a rescue organization early on that I know. I had at one time filled out adoption papers there and know some of their staff. I reached out to them early on because as we struggled, we had both the message that we shouldn't give up and the message that it might be best for Jasper if we were still struggling. I had reached out to them a few weeks after he came home, saying what our experience was and that we might at some point need their help the opposite direction - not adoption but finding Jasper a home. Then, as we worked our journey, I forgot about that contact.
A couple weeks ago, they were looking for a home for a bird and wondering if we wanted to foster to keep a bird, and they could assist with Jasper. Based on our previous experience with our Milo, they thought this would be a perfect match. They could work with him and then find him a home and we would be having a more typical experience. They trusted us because they know we are good owners. I met that little cutie - a girl, but after much thought, I said no.
Anyone who knows me, knows I struggle with emotional decisions that affect me. I give advice all the time. People come to me for advice. I am an empath. I can feel all the energy around me and want everyone to be happy. I thought what I was feeling for Jasper was just sympathy. The little joys I felt were little things - when he came searching for us, when he played with his little toys, when he wanted to look out a window. This experience was a shadow of what we had before. That contact from the organization just opened a can of worms, where I wondered about whether we were the right fit. We went on with our week but then later that week, had two bad days, where we were having some struggles, and I texted the woman to find out if the other bird was still available. She said yes.
Based on our description of our previous bird and our description of what we wanted, she was convinced that this was our bird. She suggested that we give this a try and set a date for us to drop him and we could set up to foster/adopt her. Even though I made the contact, I dragged my heels to filling out the paperwork. I got his stuff together. His food. I wrote out a card with a scripture on it to go with him.
Needless to say, they ended up with Jasper and we ended up with the new bird who was two years old and relinquished because she was sooo velcro. She was lovely and opposite of Jasper. Had issues with stress and regulating herself where you needed her to take a break and settle down. We did great with her pushy behavior. But when she was with us, it was like a lightbulb came on. She wasn't like Milo either and she was the opposite side of the same coin. She needed help calming down. Jasper needed help engaging.
In the meantime, the rescue kept in touch a few times by text. They found he had significant fear and felt he had been early weaned and his wing trim from the pet store was terrible. I said yeah and that is from two months ago. They were surprised that he didn't easily step up. I explained he knows how to step up but he does it as he wants something. They were struggling with some of the same things we were.
While all this was going on, I was hit with a realization. The day we gave him up, I went to bed that night and woke up in the morning with an anxiety attack - at 5 AM - I couldn't sleep. I had to go downstairs to sleep because I started crying. I suddenly felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I worried they didn't understand how he loved his food. That they wouldn't get his little quirks. I remembered that the day he left, he called to us from his cage in the AM for the first time. He wanted to sit in our hands. I realized I had blown it. I called my friend who has birds, kind of a basket case. She said - "well it's too late" We gave him up on Saturday and by Sunday evening I was a wreck. I broke down crying for a straight half hour. Our little new foster addition was sweet and a beautiful and wonderful bird but she wasn't Jasper. We hadn't worked for her velcroness. We hadn't worked for every step of growth. It wasn't the same. My husband said, you either call them or need to do something to calm down. I called one of the people in the rescue group I felt would understand. She was very kind. She said he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't ready to go anywhere. She wanted us to take a few days and really let what we have sink in, because if he came home, he had to stay, which I already knew.
We did what she said but it just got harder. People who knew our struggle felt we should keep our new lovely bird. I ended up with a migraine on Sunday night from the stress and missed work last Monday. I laid on the couch with the foster velcro bird sitting on my forehead. I got lots of advice, much of it to just stay the course. By Wednesday of last week, after many steps, including self-reflection/meditation, I told the woman I was coming to get him and that he would NEVER leave our home again.
We went to get Jasper last Wednesday. He was so happy to see us that he purred every time we said his name. The first day home, we were all so relieved. I fed him his favorite foods and he ate like he had not been fed. I knew they wouldn't get his quirks. We got some ideas from them for a few changes we made. He has now been making very steady progress and has been adorable. I had told them he is very naive. They agreed - naive - like a kid looking at everything in the world the first time. They agreed. He was thrilled we came for him and we were thrilled to see him. Every day since he came home, he just wants to be out. If we leave the room, he comes looking for us. He is adorable to the highest degree. I don't know why I couldn't see it before. My grief. My previously VERY different experience. I don't know. My daughter met both birds. She is in love with Jasper and thinks he is beyond cute.
I learned a very hard lesson. But I did learn something. Meeting that other bird helped me see that there is no magic situation that will bring me back what I had, that our difficult journey is part of our story and well earned. That we love him because we have seen his growth.
We are all at home and he is never leaving us again. I can't believe I got that close to losing him and that I was so dense that I could not see that I love him. LOTS. That's our story.
Addendum: The foster birdie got a new home too, in a house with another bird, and people who love birds. She went to her new home this last Sunday.
But, every day, our relationship with him grew. He stopped hiding all the time. There would be glimpses of his interest in us, following us down the hall if we left the room, for example. If I put him on my shoulder, he would stay there. He liked to be petted at night. Slowly he made growth, as you can see from my previous posts. I had reached out to a rescue organization early on that I know. I had at one time filled out adoption papers there and know some of their staff. I reached out to them early on because as we struggled, we had both the message that we shouldn't give up and the message that it might be best for Jasper if we were still struggling. I had reached out to them a few weeks after he came home, saying what our experience was and that we might at some point need their help the opposite direction - not adoption but finding Jasper a home. Then, as we worked our journey, I forgot about that contact.
A couple weeks ago, they were looking for a home for a bird and wondering if we wanted to foster to keep a bird, and they could assist with Jasper. Based on our previous experience with our Milo, they thought this would be a perfect match. They could work with him and then find him a home and we would be having a more typical experience. They trusted us because they know we are good owners. I met that little cutie - a girl, but after much thought, I said no.
Anyone who knows me, knows I struggle with emotional decisions that affect me. I give advice all the time. People come to me for advice. I am an empath. I can feel all the energy around me and want everyone to be happy. I thought what I was feeling for Jasper was just sympathy. The little joys I felt were little things - when he came searching for us, when he played with his little toys, when he wanted to look out a window. This experience was a shadow of what we had before. That contact from the organization just opened a can of worms, where I wondered about whether we were the right fit. We went on with our week but then later that week, had two bad days, where we were having some struggles, and I texted the woman to find out if the other bird was still available. She said yes.
Based on our description of our previous bird and our description of what we wanted, she was convinced that this was our bird. She suggested that we give this a try and set a date for us to drop him and we could set up to foster/adopt her. Even though I made the contact, I dragged my heels to filling out the paperwork. I got his stuff together. His food. I wrote out a card with a scripture on it to go with him.
Needless to say, they ended up with Jasper and we ended up with the new bird who was two years old and relinquished because she was sooo velcro. She was lovely and opposite of Jasper. Had issues with stress and regulating herself where you needed her to take a break and settle down. We did great with her pushy behavior. But when she was with us, it was like a lightbulb came on. She wasn't like Milo either and she was the opposite side of the same coin. She needed help calming down. Jasper needed help engaging.
In the meantime, the rescue kept in touch a few times by text. They found he had significant fear and felt he had been early weaned and his wing trim from the pet store was terrible. I said yeah and that is from two months ago. They were surprised that he didn't easily step up. I explained he knows how to step up but he does it as he wants something. They were struggling with some of the same things we were.
While all this was going on, I was hit with a realization. The day we gave him up, I went to bed that night and woke up in the morning with an anxiety attack - at 5 AM - I couldn't sleep. I had to go downstairs to sleep because I started crying. I suddenly felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I worried they didn't understand how he loved his food. That they wouldn't get his little quirks. I remembered that the day he left, he called to us from his cage in the AM for the first time. He wanted to sit in our hands. I realized I had blown it. I called my friend who has birds, kind of a basket case. She said - "well it's too late" We gave him up on Saturday and by Sunday evening I was a wreck. I broke down crying for a straight half hour. Our little new foster addition was sweet and a beautiful and wonderful bird but she wasn't Jasper. We hadn't worked for her velcroness. We hadn't worked for every step of growth. It wasn't the same. My husband said, you either call them or need to do something to calm down. I called one of the people in the rescue group I felt would understand. She was very kind. She said he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't ready to go anywhere. She wanted us to take a few days and really let what we have sink in, because if he came home, he had to stay, which I already knew.
We did what she said but it just got harder. People who knew our struggle felt we should keep our new lovely bird. I ended up with a migraine on Sunday night from the stress and missed work last Monday. I laid on the couch with the foster velcro bird sitting on my forehead. I got lots of advice, much of it to just stay the course. By Wednesday of last week, after many steps, including self-reflection/meditation, I told the woman I was coming to get him and that he would NEVER leave our home again.
We went to get Jasper last Wednesday. He was so happy to see us that he purred every time we said his name. The first day home, we were all so relieved. I fed him his favorite foods and he ate like he had not been fed. I knew they wouldn't get his quirks. We got some ideas from them for a few changes we made. He has now been making very steady progress and has been adorable. I had told them he is very naive. They agreed - naive - like a kid looking at everything in the world the first time. They agreed. He was thrilled we came for him and we were thrilled to see him. Every day since he came home, he just wants to be out. If we leave the room, he comes looking for us. He is adorable to the highest degree. I don't know why I couldn't see it before. My grief. My previously VERY different experience. I don't know. My daughter met both birds. She is in love with Jasper and thinks he is beyond cute.
I learned a very hard lesson. But I did learn something. Meeting that other bird helped me see that there is no magic situation that will bring me back what I had, that our difficult journey is part of our story and well earned. That we love him because we have seen his growth.
We are all at home and he is never leaving us again. I can't believe I got that close to losing him and that I was so dense that I could not see that I love him. LOTS. That's our story.
Addendum: The foster birdie got a new home too, in a house with another bird, and people who love birds. She went to her new home this last Sunday.
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