Dominic's latest conquest

[Betrisher]

As most of you know, my Dominic has been re-learning a lot of his skills since I inherited him a few years ago. He's rediscovering his inner Galah and is therefore much more vocal and active and generally in the moment than he's been in years. I made a promise to Dom that I wouldn't keep him in jail any more. This means that he lives most days free-range in my kitchen, where we've built a playgym for him over the back door and where he has a special platform placed on top of 'his' fridge whence he is master of all he surveys.

At first, Dom was barely able to do much because of his fatty tumours. Now, we have whittled those down through diet and the exercise of his clambering around his playgym, cargo net and seagrass mat. Eventually, Dom gained a bit of confidence in his ability to fly and learned to go from the table to the fridge with little effort. For a bird who had never flown, that was Some Achievement, right?

More recently, Dom has found he can fly through the kitchen door and into my sewing room, which happens to double as the family library because it's lined with bookshelves. Dom's favoured landing-spot is naturally on top of my quarto-and-larger-sized biology books (all of which are very precious to me and I'd much rather he didn't poop or chew on them, as is his wont). This presented a problem because as Dommie gained skill, my books began to achieve a somewhat ragged look as he chomped upon their spines. What to do?

I hung a pillowcase in the doorway and that solved the problem temporarily for a few days. Before long, though, Dom had learned to fly under the pillowcase and up to his bookshelf. Hmmm... what next? Aha! I had a few old winter nightgowns I meant to chuck out. It was but a small job to hang one of those in the doorway and I laughed at Dom as he p'snipped in consternation (NB. Galahs go 'p'snip' very loudly when they want to draw your attention to something). No way was he going to fly through the two-foot gap under the nightie!

Imagine my surprise, then: I was seated at my sewing machine yesterday when suddenly Dominic swooped low under the long nightgown and did a perfectly executed upward swing to land neatly upon 'Encyclopaedia Botanica'. As I exclaimed out loud, the wicked old bird did a 180º turn and pooped off the edge of the book, leaving a tidy green deposit smack in the middle of a piece of pale pink fabric! He's a wily old bird all right and I'm going to have to put my thinking cap on to outsmart him!

 

[PrincessSarah]

Oh, I hope my Rose gets there soon! I love this! Brilliantly told and gave me a good laugh. I'm torn. On one hand, way to go, Dom! On the other, not the books! Anything but the books! Lol

 

[getwozzy]

LMBO!!! Wow he's quite the aerial acrobat --dodging nighties and pillowcases and bombing from above lol way to go Dommie!!

I'll never forget the first time Chili flew from her play gym in our bedroom around the corner and through the door, down the hall, turn left again and fly through the living room to her cage ....all because she didn't want to be left behind (even though I was coming right back lol).

And Flower is an excellent aerial navigator too!! She's great at hovering lol

 

[PrincessSarah]

My GCC, Gonzo, is like that. He flies throughout the house, searching for toes to munch. Then he hides behind the books and cries like he's injured. My rose throat conure, Shrek, can fly into the kitchen, but that's as far as he goes. It's always entertaining to see what advice they'll get into. I've definitely lost a cook book or two, due to Gonzo making himself little nests.

 

[PrincessSarah]

Antics..not advice. Lol

 

[RavensGryf]

Trish, the night gown was clever, but you're going to have to try much harder than that to outsmart Dominic ! Watch out for Dom now that he's regaining his "skills"!

 

[Jayyj]

Sounds like he's doing amazingly! Alice has mastered flying but not landing - her current preference is to steer into a wall near to where she wants to be, flutter down it like a wasp on a windowpane then beg to be picked up. I'm sure she'll get the hang of it eventually but Dom is running (or flying) rings around her at the moment!

 

[Allee]

Thank you, Trish! You're stories are always a treat and I love hearing the ones about Dear Dommie! I'm sorry he's scoped out your books and decided to make them his own. It's a shame the nightie didn't discourage him from his mischief. I'm sure you'll find a way to outsmart the wise old fellow but it may require a lot of effort.

 

[Betrisher]

Hah! Thank you all for the encouraging words, but I think I've got the old boy's measure. You should see my kitchen! There's a huge, enormous nightie hanging in each doorway (NB. there aren't doors: the house is so small and stuffy, we had to take them out for ventilation's sake) and the TV has a massive great double bed sheet taped to it and the opposite edge stuck to the cornice. Bwahahahahahaha! If Mr Dominic decides to sit on the TV, he can only poop one way (and there will be strategically placed papers for that). In addition, he can no longer reach either the power cable or the computer network cable that lead across the wall behind the TV. A few weeks ago, our network suddenly dropped out (much to the kids' ire). Mr Dom had chomped the network cable into two fluffy-wiry halves! The Beaks had already severed it earlier by landing on top of the lintel over my son's door and hanging on just long enough to ensure an effective severance. Acrobatic little buggers!

My husband is a saint, honestly! He's learned not to mutter nasty things about the birds in my or the kids' hearing, but I know he must feel keenly the dissolution of everything he holds dear. Not so long ago, Roxanne (the dog) ate half of a pair of his new green underpants. As he sadly commented, it would've been better if she'd eaten the whole lot. To leave them there with one leg entirely missing was just too gut-wrenching! Then, one of the cats vomited secretly on the dark upholstery of his computer chair. When he sat down, he got a nasty sliding feeling and then the warm damp sensation that happens when Something Very Wrong has occurred under one's bum. Poor Hunn. For a man to whom the animal kingdom is an ongoing enigma, he does very well.

He's learning slowly and by degrees, though. Yesterday evening, I was just in time to stop him from picking up 'a poor little spider' that had managed to find its way inside. Turns out, it was a small male Sydney Funnel Web out on the town and lookin' for some good times! I know it's the female that's deadliest, but a Funnel-Web bite could have been fatal. Naughty Hunn is no longer allowed to touch spiders with his bare hands, even though he's seen me do it myself.

I digress to say that we have some really interesting specimens in our outdoor dunny (toilet) right now. Marigold is the biggest Daddy Long Legs I've ever seen! She's big enough to sit astride a teacup with all eight legs extended. I know because she did exactly that when someone left their teacup on the fence-rail one day. I came to collect it and there was Marigold, twinkling up at me out of all eight of her beady little eyes! She has relocated into the dunny during the wet winter months and has knat a modest little web underneath the shelf that holds the air-freshener, the fly swat and the insect spray. (They're only concessions to visitors who can't cope with outdoor dunnies and the concomitant wildlife). Anyway, Marigold's huge at the moment! I'm guessing she's had marital relations with the sad bloke whose flaccid body is hanging from the bottom of her modest nest: I hope he had a good time before Marigold made a meal of him, poor thing! Assuming he did, I guess Marigold's size can be attributed to his children (which she is obviously carrying) and to the calories she got from his poor, flaccid body. More on that later.

Then there's Rosalie. She's an Australian Red-Back Spider (effectively a down-under Black Widow). She lives on the floor and occasionally knits a small, spring-loaded web in the corner. Mostly, though, she clambers up the wall and steals from Marigold's bounty. I think this is awfully unfair, but leave Rosalie to her life of entitlement in the interest of being able to watch her go about her daily errands. She's not the least bit aggressive, but sits passively in the corner and just waits. If something (eg. a fly or a small moth) gets sprung by her nest-trap, she'll come out and kill it, then bind it in thread and leave it to 'mature' (presumably after the fashion of jugged hare). Afterward, usually in the late afternoon, she'll daintily pluck up her food parcel and demurely suck the life out of it. Thus far, she's offered not a jot of trouble to the human community at our place and so we just don't point out her presence to the unwary visitor who might get a fright.

Next we have a very large Orb Weaving spider who goes by the name of Christine. She's a big old pu$$ycat, really, and wouldn't hurt a fly. Well - that's a fib, really. Christine does hurt flies and that's the main reason she hasn't been involved in Patricia's Superlative Spider Relocation Scheme. In the humid summer months, Christine catches more than her weight in flies and truly earns her keep. The only slight drawback is that when she's feelin' a bit frisky, Christine knits a hunormous web that covers half the OutDoor Living Area (ODLA). Any poor soul forced to visit the dunny in the middle of the night will have to play her little game ('O Christine, Christine, Where Art Thou?') before being relieved and thus able to go back to bed. The game consists of walking blindly into Christine's steel-cable-knitted web, realising she's probably in it and therefore about to go walking about on one's very person, and then smacking oneself all over, shouting 'Christine! Christine! Where are you?'

Our last spidery resident lives in the corner of the computer room. She's a real beaut and goes by her proper name: Mrs Deinopis. She's a Net-Casting spider and is, for now, only moderately sized with a leg-spread of about four inches. She'll double that in time and will become a very large spider indeed. Net-Casting spiders are great! They lurk in position with a neat little netted web curled between their two front feet. When the appropriate prey item comes along (I've seen big Deinopis catch lizards!), Mrs D will cast her net at it and, hopefully, tangle it enough to disable it until she can come and sink in her fangs. To be honest, I haven't yet seen Mrs D do her despicable duty yet, but I live in hope. In the meantime, the good lady has graced us with a fine clutch of baby Deinopis and they are everywhere in the computer room! They're just so darned cute! Tiny replicas of their scary-looking Mum, they take up residence across any opening (eg. a crack in the wood venereal wall-cladding, on the side of a woven basket, between two pencils in the pencil pot on my desk) and there they wait, net hopefully held between their forelegs and fangs at the ready. Mind you, they're not even a centimetre long so I'm not worried. Little dears!

Well, that turned out to be a long post. Sorry about that. I was feeling writey and so I just kept going. I'd love to hear anyone else's spider stories if you have them.

 

[Terry57]

Trish, I sooo love your stories! That Dommie has come such a long way with you. He loves you, you love your books, so he loves your books. Next step is teaching him to read rather than chew or poop on them now, I have faith in you!
Your hubby sounds like such a great guy Nothing worse than sitting down in warm,slimy dampness
Hmmm...spider story. I see a spider, I run.

 

[Anansi]

You need never apologize for the length of your posts, dearest Trish! Your stories are always well received and quite eagerly anticipated.

I'm so sorry to hear that your books are suffering as a result of Dom's burgeoning flight skills, but the fact that he has come so far makes me very happy.

It's a testament, actually, to all that you've done for him. In your care, he's gone from being a dangerously overweight bird whose tumors were literally grounding him, to a lean mean flying machine capable of rather advanced flight maneuvers! Bravo, my friend.

Btw, I might have something of a more practical solution for his aerial sojourns. At a friend's housewarming the other day, I took note of a neat little contraption they had set up over their back door. You know, one of those simple yet brilliant inventions that you want to kick yourself for not having invented?

Basically, it was a mesh draping in the doorway with magnets down its parted length. So as I watched, children (my own two bundles of nonstop energy included) would fly in and out of the house. They would blow through the doorway as though nothing was there, sending the two mesh fabric flaps flying in their wake. But no sooner has the children made their exit/entrance, the two flaps would close neatly behind them... drawn back together by the magnets in their adjoining seams.

These mesh flaps are designed to be attached to any doorway, and the magnets themselves are neatly integrated into the fabric. I bet it would make a great deterrent for Sir Dominic.

Let me know if you're interested and I'll try to get a link or something from my friend.

 

[RavensGryf]

I so love your stories Trish .... I get caught up reading as if it were a book . When I see a spider, it usually gets smashed asap! I don't see anything too exotic around here, or deadly like the Funnel Web where you live. The most venomous spider in North America is the Black Widow, but for a healthy adult human, they're not deadly, but very painful I hear... I don't want to find out! I only see them outdoors on occasion. If I see one inside, it's usually a daddy longlegs (I'm sure a much smaller species than Marigold) or little chunky brown ones (don't know what species). They get smashed in a tissue immediately!

Edit: I just saw Stephen's suggestion of the magnetic door coverings... I like that idea!

 

[Terry57]

Stephen, what a great idea! We had one of those at our old house at the back door, and it worked wonderfully!

 

[Anansi]

...If I see one inside, it's usually a daddy longlegs (I'm sure a much smaller species than Marigold) or little chunky brown ones (don't know what species). They get smashed in a tissue immediately!

The daddy longlegs to which you are likely referring is different from Trish's Marigold, Lady Jules. The arachnids most Americans refer to as daddy longlegs aren't actually spiders at all. Despite their spiderlike appearance, they're actually more closely related to scorpions. They are also incapable of spinning webs.

Just a nerdy little factoid I thought I'd throw out there.

 

[Anansi]

Thanks Terr, Jules! That housewarming was the first I'd ever seen those magnetized mesh flaps, but they struck me immediately as genius.

 

[Siobhan]

Anybody besides me old enough to remember bead curtains from the 60s and 70s? You can still buy them online. Those worked beautifully for keeping the parrots out of rooms we didn't want them in. We had to switch to screen doors when we moved into our current house because of our dog Jack. Yes, we have interior screen doors. LOL

 

[RavensGryf]

The daddy longlegs to which you are likely referring is different from Trish's Marigold, Lady Jules. The arachnids most Americans refer to as daddy longlegs aren't actually spiders at all. Despite their spiderlike appearance, they're actually more closely related to scorpions. They are also incapable of spinning webs.

Just a nerdy little factoid I thought I'd throw out there.

Wow, that's interesting Stephen The one's with tiny bodies with long thread-like legs?

 

[Anansi]

The daddy longlegs to which you are likely referring is different from Trish's Marigold, Lady Jules. The arachnids most Americans refer to as daddy longlegs aren't actually spiders at all. Despite their spiderlike appearance, they're actually more closely related to scorpions. They are also incapable of spinning webs.

Just a nerdy little factoid I thought I'd throw out there.

Wow, that's interesting Stephen The one's with tiny bodies with long thread-like legs?

Yep! If you look closely at the bodies, you'll notice that they are a single ovoid rather than segmented with a "waist" as a spider's would be. Also only 1pair of eyes, and no venom.

The Aussie variant is indeed a spider, however, with the requisite eyes, venom and web-spinning capabilities implied.

 

[RavensGryf]

Anybody besides me old enough to remember bead curtains from the 60s and 70s? You can still buy them online. Those worked beautifully for keeping the parrots out of rooms we didn't want them in. We had to switch to screen doors when we moved into our current house because of our dog Jack. Yes, we have interior screen doors. LOL

I remember but I wasn't an adult, though I still see them being used. That's another good idea though, if you can stand the beads clacking and moving about after you go through... that would be irritating to me I think.

 

[Scott]

Anybody besides me old enough to remember bead curtains from the 60s and 70s? You can still buy them online. Those worked beautifully for keeping the parrots out of rooms we didn't want them in. We had to switch to screen doors when we moved into our current house because of our dog Jack. Yes, we have interior screen doors. LOL

I tried bead curtains in my old house to keep the birds confined in their room. Well, ah, not so effective. They tackled the challenge from above and below; some would fly to the horizontal rod that was slightly suspended from the ceiling, crouch down, and escape between the gap. A few weeks after installation some would casually walk up to the beads as they grazed the floor and start chewing to create their version of a "mouse hole!" At that point it was removed for safety....