Feeling Like a Failure

[GreatBlue320]

I wasn't sure which forum this belonged in so I just chose to go with something general...

I am so discouraged and frustrated. Baxter is becoming more and more aggressive (he will be 1 year old next month).

I do training with him 1-2 times per day. He is out of his cage and with me whenever I am home (6-8 hours/day). I've adjusted his diet to ensure he isn't getting too much "hormone" inducing foods. He gets fresh sprouts, veggies and Roudybush pellets every day. He has a big, beautiful cage with an abundance of toys. He has climbing nets, oddballs outside of the cage to play on. He has numerous foraging toys in his cage. He has as huge play stand loaded with toys that I roll from the kitchen to the den so he can spend time with me and my family. I keep a quilt on the couch in the den so he can spend time with me on the couch, beak wrestle, get head scratches, etc. Every evening after dinner he spends time with my whole family in the den and has the freedom to move from his play stand to the couch as he likes.

Yet, he is just so aggressive. When we do training, he ends up biting me because all he wants are the treats. This morning I was working on flight recall and he just ended up flying to me and biting my hands, running up my arm to bite my ear and lunge at my face. I immediately stopped the training.

I am having our bird sitter come 3x per week so he can get to know her (we are going on a 10 day vacation in April and I would like him to be able to come out of his cage when the sitter comes to see him twice a day). The first visit, he did well having her target train with him. The next day, he was getting "stirred up" by then end of the target training and I stopped it. The day after that, he was immediately aggressive and bit the sitter each time she tried to give him his treat. Again, I stopped the training and put him in his cage. Next week she is going to sit by the cage while he is in it and just talk to him. If he seems calm, she will try to give him a treat through the cage bars. If that goes well, I plan to have her try to do target training while he is in the cage.

I'm just out of ideas. I don't know what to do. I love him so much but he is turning into a tyrant making my days more unpleasant than pleasant. I'm not the type of person to give up on him, but I'm becoming resentful. Maybe I have spoiled him?

Have any of you experienced this? How did you get through it? Can you offer any suggestions?

 

[SailBoat]

It can really suck when what should be working just doesn't! And, yes, you have spoiled him - that's what we do best! As with any child, what surrounds them is what is standard in their World, hence they do not see it as anything special.

A one year old MAC is a little young to be hormonal. But at the prefect age to be pushing edges to see what he can get away with. And, clearly that is what he is doing.

Double check his diet and really cut back of the sugar fruits, sweet treats, and take a look at the sugar content of the Roudybush. I do not recall what amount they may add to their product.

Remember that you're dealing with a very bright young child that is very quick at figuring out how to push your buttons.

Birdman 666 and other MAC members will likely have more detailed recommendations.

 

[chris-md]

Shawna I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how utterly defeating and depressing it feels when your biggest dream turns into the biggest nightmare

I really hope this is just a phase and he's pushing boundaries. Be strict with him, timeouts, etc. nothing goes ignored.

Hugs to the pair of you!

 

[Anansi]

First off, Shawna, please don't let yourself start feeling like a failure. Far from it. Some of us have been on this journey with you from before the beginning, and we know the amount of love and care that you put into getting and raising Baxter.

SailBoat is right. 1 year old is a bit on the young side for hormones to be the issue. It likely is a matter of his testing his boundaries.

Remind me, how long have you had him again? And how long has this aggressive behavior been going on? Is it mostly happening in the vicinity of his cage? Are you his favored person? Have there been any recent changes to his surroundings, diet or schedule? Is he molting?

A lot of questions, I know, but the answers may help to better gauge what is happening, here.

 

[Birdman666]

If the treats are the trigger, stop giving them to him until the behavior improves.

Immediately go back to firm boundary setting with an emphasis on "NO BITING." This is not a hormonal issue, this is a bird stepping over the line, and getting what he wants by biting.

The only way to put a stop to it, is by putting a stop to it. With a towel if necessary.

Reign in the bad behaviors they decrease and stop. Allow this to continue it gets worse.

 

[GreatBlue320]

Thanks for your support and suggestions, everyone. It has been a trying week with Baxter and I kind of lost my cool this morning!

I realize this can't be a hormonal issues given his age, but am still taking steps now to make sure I won't be adding to any hormonal issues when that time hits! (heaven help me when it does).

Sailboat - I think you are right - he is pushing boundaries for sure. I guess I thought we were past that stage of our relationship but he must be trying it again.

Chris - Thanks for so much for your support and cyber hug! I know you can relate to what I'm feeling!

Stephen - Thank you for your kind words about my devotion to Baxter - I needed to hear them! Here are answers to your questions:
* I've had Baxter since he was about 10 weeks old
* He's always been a bit aggressive but it has ramped up in the last 3 weeks
* It is happening everywhere although the cage aggressiveness has increased along with the other aggressive behaviors.
* I am, without a doubt, his person of choice. He isn't responsive to anyone else. He is aggressive with others when I am in the room. He is less aggressive with them if I am not in the room. That is why I'm going to see how he behaves with the bird sitter when I am not in the room.
* No recent changes to surroundings, diet or schedule.
* He isn't molting.

Mark - Yes, I've been stopping any training (which is when I give him treats) as soon as he starts with the bad behavior. I only started this in the last day or two so I know it will take time to have an effect. I've also been more proactive about removing him from my person and placing him on a play stand or in his cage when the behavior gets going. I'm going to be more vigilant about this going forward.

 

[Anansi]

You're welcome, Shawna.

Okay, given all the answers to those questions, I agree it's definitely a pushing boundaries issue.

Be persistent with the boundaries you've set. And be consistent with your responses. Unwaveringly so.

It might take time, but you know that. You just need to be more stubborn than he is. And be sure to watch his body language. Avoid, to the best of your ability, situations in which you might get bitten. The less of a habit the biting becomes, the less difficult it will be to break the trend.

 

[Doublete]

Sorry to hear this. My little gcc (just turned a year in January) goes through his phases with the biting. I can't imagine him being mini Mac sized...

Hugs and support from me!