Healing a damaged relationship?

[psycmeistr]

My U2 Moses finally got to the point where he bonded with me.

He never tried to bite me anymore-- he was just the sweetest bird with me.

Again--this was a bird that ALWAYS had trouble with men, so this was a major accomplishment for me and for Moses-- He even was stepping up onto my hand from his cage. This was accomplished within the space of three weeks.

Enter this evening.

Moses was on the floor, and I hugged my wife. Moses ran and bit my wife behind on her lower calf. HARD. Drawing blood--wouldn't let go. I reached around with my foot (as he was behind my wife and I was in front of her) and pushed him off of her, and yelled at him-- NO!--NO BITE--NO!!!!!

Moses then went into his cage on his own. I'm sure that now that he bonded with me he was jealous of my wife.

Now he wants to bite me again. Back to square one.

Question is this-- do cockatoos forgive? Is there a way to heal the relationship?

 

[Pinkbirdy]

Yes but realize hes overbonded to you . Everyone in his way [in his head must go]. We have this at my house . When my Eleanora Too comes out he must have a leash on or he will fly and attack us [hes very bonded to Dave]. We are not going to get rid of him so we had to figure things out. He likes are attention but still is a different bird outside his cage.Rehomes are hard.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

The Cockatoo Man still bites me. He has been with me since April now,and has come along very well. He came from an emotionally abusive home <So I have been told by his previous parronts sister> to the point where he plucked himself silly etc.

He still will his at me,but only if I try to get him to step up when he is on his roof top.
BUT..if I am on the couch..he plays this game: He will climb down from his roof and walk over to me..just out of my reach..and I have to stretch to pet him,which he loves,and when I put my hand down for him to step up he will run back to his house,then turn around and come back to me,this time closer,then repeat the process..
This will go on for a number of times,untill he is right at the couch,and I put my hand down and push my fingers to his tummy and then he'll go CHOMP! He is a conniving little ball of white fluff!!
Other times he'll hop right onto my hand and get on my lap and let me scratch/pet him til the cows come home.

Jim

 

[psycmeistr]

Understood... It's just that I got to the point where he didn't want to bite me anymore, and now he does again...

Pretty frustrating. I'm hoping I can get him back to the 'non-biting' thing.

 

[psycmeistr]

The really ironic thing is that literally a couple minutes prior this episode, I had just taken time out to text Moses' previous owner to tell her how well he was doing with me-- I guess I jinxed it.

 

[riddick07]

Cockatoos are funny creatures that way. Is your wife afraid of him? Any fear she shows him will only make him more of a brat with her if he has jealously issues.

He actually doesn't sound scared of either of you from what you have described. He sounds like a cockatoo trying to get his way and when you stood your ground he decided to throw a hissy fit. Especially since you showed a liking for someone else over him.

The way I stopped my cockatoo from attacking others was to throw my hand/arm in between because I knew he wouldn't bite me. But if yours bites you just as easily as anyone else that won't work. I would never do that with my amazon unless I was willing to take the bite for the other person. Which by the way I have because if I do it early enough he just gives me a pressure bite unlike the ripping and tearing he does with others. If I do it too late he doesn't have time to switch between attack kill kill kill to oh no that's mom in the way.

I don't know his history but a towel and a pillow will go a long way for helping deter ground attacks. Another way is to kick something his way to attack, like one of those rubber balls with holes that he can chew on and throw around. You are trying to distract him from the attack with a toy to play with instead....might not work but its one of the options to try. My mothers macaw will chase after you while on the ground...most of the time it is just play but sometimes your not in the mood to play and all you have to do is either pick up a towel or point to his cave (behind the couch) and tell him go. The latter doesn't work if he is in attack mode instead of play mode. The towel however works every time.

You can also put a towel around your arm to get him to step up in the cage if he is being stubborn now that he hasn't gotten his way. Be careful because a cockatoo beak goes through a towel while a macaw beak doesn't usually.

Really the way to work through it is up to you. You can try sucking up every time he throws a hissy fit because you did something he doesn't like. Or you can tell him to suck it up and get over it. Part of it is reading him and that's hard to do without watching him in person but you will be able to do that after awhile and pick what you think will work

 

[Siobhan]

Rocky Too will let Hubby pet him, within reason, if he's on his cage or on my lap, though he's not interested in Hubby when he's on my lap and wants Hubby to leave us alone together. LOL But Toos are emotional and reactionary and you've hurt Moses' feelings. Give him a couple of days to pout and he'll get over it. Bribes might help. Does he have a favorite treat? If it happens again, drop a towel over him. A rehomed and possibly abused Too will react badly to loud voices and a reaction like you gave him. A towel will stop him in his tracks and confuse him, and keep him from biting your wife without drama.

 

[psycmeistr]

Cockatoos are funny creatures that way. Is your wife afraid of him? Any fear she shows him will only make him more of a brat with her if he has jealously issues.

He actually doesn't sound scared of either of you from what you have described. He sounds like a cockatoo trying to get his way and when you stood your ground he decided to throw a hissy fit. Especially since you showed a liking for someone else over him.

He doesn't sound as bonded to you as mine is. The way I stopped my cockatoo from attacking others was to throw my hand/arm in between because I knew he wouldn't bite me. But if yours bites you just as easily as anyone else that won't work. I would never do that with my amazon unless I was willing to take the bite for the other person. Which by the way I have because if I do it early enough he just gives me a pressure bite unlike the ripping and tearing he does with others. If I do it too late he doesn't have time to switch between attack kill kill kill to oh no that's mom in the way.

I don't know his history but a towel and a pillow will go a long way for helping deter ground attacks. Another way is to kick something his way to attack, like one of those rubber balls with holes that he can chew on and throw around. You are trying to distract him from the attack with a toy to play with instead....might not work but its one of the options to try. My mothers macaw will chase after you while on the ground...most of the time it is just play but sometimes your not in the mood to play and all you have to do is either pick up a towel or point to his cave (behind the couch) and tell him go. The latter doesn't work if he is in attack mode instead of play mode. The towel however works every time.

You can also put a towel around your arm to get him to step up in the cage if he is being stubborn now that he hasn't gotten his way. Be careful because a cockatoo beak goes through a towel while a macaw beak doesn't usually.

Really the way to work through it is up to you. You can try sucking up every time he throws a hissy fit because you did something he doesn't like. Or you can tell him to suck it up and get over it. Part of it is reading him and that's hard to do without watching him in person but you will be able to do that after awhile and pick what you think will work

Thing about its, we didn't see it coming-- it was a sneak attack--and yes, my wife is getting to be skiddish around Moses.

After the episode, I shut the cage door and threw the cover over his cage--and yes, he threw a hissy (literally) fit for quite a while. After he settled down a bit, I took the cover off--he played it cool but you could tell that he was pondering retaliation (he was mumbling and hissing under his breath). But I figured the best thing to do when bucked off of a horse is to climb back in the saddle. I opened the cage door and he approached me, and in one felled swoop he bit my finger as he was descending toward the ground (He bit my finger, but he grazed it, so no damage was done). He then climbed back in his cage.

I'm at work right now but my wife reports that he was left out of his cage today and thus far has not tried to attack her.

It will be interesting indeed when I return home in another hour and a half or so.

 

[psycmeistr]

Rocky Too will let Hubby pet him, within reason, if he's on his cage or on my lap, though he's not interested in Hubby when he's on my lap and wants Hubby to leave us alone together. LOL But Toos are emotional and reactionary and you've hurt Moses' feelings. Give him a couple of days to pout and he'll get over it. Bribes might help. Does he have a favorite treat? If it happens again, drop a towel over him. A rehomed and possibly abused Too will react badly to loud voices and a reaction like you gave him. A towel will stop him in his tracks and confuse him, and keep him from biting your wife without drama.

Thanks for the tips--

After all the hullaballoo I did spoon feed him some seafood hot dish--he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit-- But he definitely still gave me the 'death stare' when I covered his cage at bed time. :52:

 

[riddick07]

I took out the bonded thing because it didn't make sense after reading it lol. My amazon is my most bonded but as I said gives me a pressure bite if I get in the way.

You'll be more aware now for sneak attacks Your wife might have a relationship that is just fine with him without you around. Most likely your presence will be what sets him off when it comes to her. She'll have to show him that she won't be bullied just because your nearby and he doesn't want to share.

Good luck when you get home!

 

[psycmeistr]

Well--I got home and went by him-- He got on top of his cage--I petted him for a few seconds, and he flew to attack me-- Luckily I ducked. Then he went on top of his cage again. (he was muttering and hissing under his breath). Then he crawled down to the floor and attacked my feet (luckily I was wearing some pretty tough leather shoes). I then got the vacuum cleaner between me and him and he retreated back in his cage. And there he sits. I don't want to let him out right now. I can take a hit, but I'll be damned if I let him hurt my wife-- don't know what to do.

I'm wondering if this is hormone related behavior.

 

[MikeyTN]

I sounded very like Java the U2 I had to rehome due to everyone's safety in the house including me. I was his favorite person until I told him not to do something, ever since then he retaliated against me. It had gotta quite dangerous that I was about to clip his wings due to fly attack. He scared me to the point I really didn't want to work with him anymore after I was attacked by him real badly one time where I was drenched in blood.