Heartbreaking

[Aims]

I hope you get this all sorted out. Just remember YOU deserve to be happy. Please think of yourself when making your decisions.

 

[annemarie]

Omg, lose the gf now. Who wants to be with an animal abuser, what do you think she is going to do when your children cry? holy cow its good you got your bird away from her now please please find another place to live you deserve better. When someone disrespects your property they disrespect you, did you know that? So she does not respect you or your pet.

o...k...

So, I have moved my Jenday conure to my Grans house, so he no longer lives with me. The reason for this, is because my girlfriend hates him. For the last few months, she has been smoking in my room where he lives, throwing things at the cage when he is noisy (to the point where it is no longer a square shaped cage any more) and tried feeding him red bull the other day 'to see what would happen'

Sorry, but who wants to be with an animal abuser? How will she treat your children when they cry? I mean, holy cow dump the GF not your bird. That said, its good you got the bird out of there. Now, find a new place to live!

Me and my girlfriend have been having problems in our relationship recently. Bearing in mind the fact that she is not nice to the bird at the best of times (she does it when I am not around, but have been informed by other members of my family about how she treats him when I am away) I felt it necessary to move him to my grans house, juts in case she flips on him at this sensitive time.

(the bird is actually a girl, but I call it a He because that is how he was sold to me lol)

I know I should have moved him sooner really, but it was not until the other day when I actually saw it for myself that it really kicked in.

The bird loves me to bits. And when she is not around he basically lives out of the cage. Although, recently he has shown a hatred towards my girlfriend.

I have told my girlfriend that I have moved him becuase I think the bird is winding her up, rather than comming streight out with telling her she is abusive towards him.

I suppose what I am worried about is this, is the bird going to hate me now? I don't know how long he will have to stay at my grans. It may even be sensible to leave him there forever. (my gran is experienced in caring for birds) but I will only realistically be able to see him once a week. Is that going to ruin the relationship I have with the bird?

Thanks for the help folks.

 

[Oedipussrex]

This is indeed a tough position that you are in. and im sorry.
we of course don't know the whole situation and i believe that you will try to do what is best for everyone involved, including the bird. Whatever you decide to do we will still be here to support you.

If your girlfriend does decide she wants to sort things out while maintaining her relationship with you. Ideally id say that this should include addressing her behaviour towards your bird even if she does not want anything to do with him, ignoring him would be much better than the behaviour you have described. But as others have said, considering the birds developed fear and hatred, and the volatile nature of the situation. I would not recommend bringing the bird back home while she remains there.

You may have to make a choice between two beings in your life whom you obviously care a lot about But if you do decide that you cannot keep your bird, and your grandma cannot give him the attention, socialisation and freedom he needs i think you should consider rehomong him properly to someone who can.

personally i could not tolerate living with anyone who could not tolerate my pets. I do not mind when they openly tell me that they have no interest in my pets, they leave my pets alone, and i make sure my pets are not a nuisance to them. But blatant abuse is inexcusable, regardless of what your girlfriend may be going through.

 

[Sc0tt]

How do you plan on having a future with this girlfriend if she's abusive to your bird, especially only when you're not around? How would she be with kids, etc.? I say dump her and get your bird back.

 

[Eloy]

How do you plan on having a future with this girlfriend if she's abusive to your bird, especially only when you're not around? How would she be with kids, etc.? I say dump her and get your bird back.

Agree!
I don't think it's a solution to have the bird in a looked room either.
One day she gets angry of you and I'm sure that the bird are paying the price for that. You can never trust her again, can you live with that kind of fear?

 

[loishuffman]

I believe that the reponses to your cry of help is right on the mark! Hope you do listen to the advise for your life and future. You should move on with the responsibility of the decent person you seem to be.