Mental health and birds

[BirdyBee]

Although this is a sensitive topic for many, I feel like it is not addressed enough. This is the most open I will ever get. THIS IS NOT A VENT, I am just addressing something I feel is important.

First off. I struggle mentally and so do many other people. Putting all details aside, I have both depression and anxiety which both impair my day to day life significantly. Both have been professionally diagnosed so I'm not self diagnosing, and neither do I encourage self diagnosis.

DISCLAIMER: everything I say is my personal experience, and everyone's experiences are unique. If you feel this is not true for you personally, that is okay. But my opinion on this topic won't change

With that being said, I want to discuss the effects parrot have on mental health, good and bad.

First, let's start with the good. For myself, my parrots give me motivation to live and help calm my anxiety at times. Their cute and chaotic personalities make me smile.


Now. The negatives. This side is not discussed a lot.
For me personally, although my birds help me a lot, some days I am just too tired to take care of them. I just feed them and uncover them, go about my day and then just lay in bed as soon as I get the chance to. This is something that happens to everyone at times, but for me it is a daily occurrence. It often makes me feel guilty because I unintentionally neglect them. It is hard to take care of them when I struggle to take care of myself.

Also worth mentioning: they make my anxiety worse sometimes
Because of all the effort I need to put in to take good care of my birds, I get overwhelmed and stressed. I stress about their health. I stress about their happiness. I stress that I am not good enough for them. And the list goes on.

It gets exhausting and some days I honestly just want to give them away to someone who can take better care of them. Which is ridiculous because I know there isn't a lot of people out there who can take good care of birds. But unfortunately that is how my anxiety and depression works. Logic doesn't exist and I often make decisions and opinions based on my feelings rather than what is accurate.

What I want to say is, if you are struggling mentally and are considering getting a bird to help with your mental health.. I am sorry but I think it is better for you to get professional help than expect a bird to fix it. Not saying it's a bad thing to get a bird if you're struggling mentally- you just have to consider the outcomes. It can either help or make it worse


Anyways I just felt I needed to talk about that. Hope you all are doing okay

Edit: typos

 

[PrimorandMoxi]

I find it hard to believe that anyone society thinks of as "normal" could even be a good companion to a parrot.

All of our anxieties and fears make us question the care we are giving.

 

[BirdyBee]

I find it hard to believe that anyone society thinks of as "normal" could even be a good companion to a parrot.

All of our anxieties and fears make us question the care we are giving.

That is very true

 

[Rozalka]

Although this is a sensitive topic for many, I feel like it is not addressed enough. This is the most open I will ever get. THIS IS NOT A VENT, I am just addressing something I feel is important.

First off. I struggle mentally and so do many other people. Putting all details aside, I have both depression and anxiety which both impair my day to day life significantly. Both have been professionally diagnosed so I'm not self diagnosing, and neither do I encourage self diagnosis.

DISCLAIMER: everything I say is my personal experience, and everyone's experiences are unique. If you feel this is not true for you personally, that is okay. But my opinion on this topic won't change

With that being said, I want to discuss the effects parrot have on mental health, good and bad.

First, let's start with the good. For myself, my parrots give me motivation to live and help calm my anxiety at times. Their cute and chaotic personalities make me smile.


Now. The negatives. This side is not discussed a lot.
For me personally, although my birds help me a lot, some days I am just too tired to take care of them. I just feed them and uncover them, go about my day and then just lay in bed as soon as I get the change to. This is something that happens to everyone at times, but for me it is a daily occurrence. It often makes me feel guilty because I unintentionally neglect them. It is hard to take care of them when I struggle to take care of myself.

Also worth mentioning: they make my anxiety worse sometimes
Because of all the effort I need to put in to take good care of my birds, I get overwhelmed and stressed. I stress about their health. I stress about their happiness. I stress that I am not good enough for them. And the list goes on.

It gets exhausting and some days I honestly just want to give them away to someone who can take better care of them. Which is ridiculous because I know there isn't a lot of people out there who can take good care of birds. But unfortunately that is how my anxiety and depression works. Logic doesn't exist and I often make decisions and opinions based on my feelings rather than what is accurate.

What I want to say is, if you are struggling mentally and are considering getting a bird to help with your mental health.. I am sorry but I think it is better for you to get professional help than expect a bird to fix it. Not saying it's a bad thing to get a bird if you're struggling mentally- you just have to consider the outcomes. It can either help or make it worse


Anyways I just felt I needed to talk about that. Hope you all are doing okay

Oh my gosh, I agree 100% because I have a similar situation.

In my case I have one more problem - honestly I'm not sure if I chose the good way. I often have feelings that my current fids should be my last ones because I know I could be a better owner and sadly all my parrot-related interests focus on unnecessary stuff which don't help me taking care in any way...
And tbh I'm not sure if my fids still help me because I feel like my current motivation for live is more art than real birds.... but in the past I remember that I had a moment like I was feeling being close to depression (I never had diagnosed it, that's why I prefer saying "close to it") and it was stronger when I was away from my birds

 

[foxgloveparrot]

I 100% agree. Seriously, this felt like you were telling my life story. Thanks for starting this thread, BB... It helps to know that we all go through similar stuff.

 

[foxgloveparrot]

I 100% agree. Seriously, this felt like you were telling my life story. Thanks for starting this thread, BB... It helps to know that we all go through similar stuff.

Also, my mental health has only gotten better over past 9 or so years, so I am currently able to care for a flock of 7 parrots. If you're in a really horrible position, seriously struggling with suicidal ideation, or are unable to get out of bed most days, DONT GET A PARROT. It sounds harsh, and it sucks, but it's for the well-being of you and the bird.

 

[PrimorandMoxi]

Some people are just not people people and parrots can be a motivating way to get out of bed and out of our own heads.

Though I would never recommend ANYONE to get a parrot.

 

[BirdyBee]

Oh my gosh, I agree 100% because I have a similar situation.

In my case I have one more problem - honestly I'm not sure if I chose the good way. I often have feelings that my current fids should be my last ones because I know I could be a better owner and sadly all my parrot-related interests focus on unnecessary stuff which don't help me taking care in any way...
And tbh I'm not sure if my fids still help me because I feel like my current motivation for live is more art than real birds.... but in the past I remember that I had a moment like I was feeling being close to depression (I never had diagnosed it, that's why I prefer saying "close to it") and it was stronger when I was away from my birds

Yeah I feel that. My current birds will likely be my last unfortunately. It hurts too much to lose them and they stress me out too

 

[BirdyBee]

Also, my mental health has only gotten better over past 9 or so years, so I am currently able to care for a flock of 7 parrots. If you're in a really horrible position, seriously struggling with suicidal ideation, or are unable to get out of bed most days, DONT GET A PARROT. It sounds harsh, and it sucks, but it's for the well-being of you and the bird.

I couldnt agree more! That's why Im not getting more birds, they're too much for me too handle

 

[BirdyBee]

Some people are just not people people and parrots can be a motivating way to get out of bed and out of our own heads.

Though I would never recommend ANYONE to get a parrot.

Yeah everyone is different. For me it both motivates me but also makes it worse

 

[Rozalka]

Yeah I feel that. My current birds will likely be my last unfortunately. It hurts too much to lose them and they stress me out too

In my case it's like a sine wave... I sometimes think I won't get more birds and another time - that maybe I will get more after I move out... I have to rethink it, I still have time - in both cases I won't get new birds in 2 years

When I had my first birds I had many moments when I thought "I won't get any more pets because too much responsibility"... but something was stronger and got next birds anyway

 

[StormyPica]

I agree. Mental health has been a struggle for me. I have anxiety and depression, ADHD, and sensory processing disorder (all diagnosed). I am also low empathy and have social issues which can make keeping birds really difficult, since I never know how to respond to something. I’m OK at bird body language, but not really good enough to understand them very well. This is an issue with people too, but I usually isolate myself in social settings, which I really can’t do with birds. And low empathy makes it really hard to understand how they’re feeling, and it makes it hard to motivate myself to work with them and help them feel better. It makes it hard to care at all, honestly. And I have very little motivation to clean up after them, but I force myself, just like I force myself to play with them.

I don’t want people to pity me. These birds may be my last. I got them because lack of understanding of social cues left me isolated for years, and trauma made it hard to form any healthy relationships. I now see that it really didn’t fix much. They had some positive effects, but I’d probably be happier with a cat. Maybe I’ll get a different bird in the future. I think I’m more of a one pet person.

 

[PrimorandMoxi]

Yeah I feel that. My current birds will likely be my last unfortunately. It hurts too much to lose them and they stress me out too

I cant have a dog cause I cant handle the relatively short life cycle.
Though I'd love to give some senior dogs a good home it's just too painful.

When I had to put my amazon Abba to sleep cause of a medical issue if you'd seen me in the vets you would have called the loony bin. I was unhinged, wailing at the top of my lungs.

 

[Owlet]

I relate with this. I struggled for so long with my mental illness. I finally got myself to a point where I could get out of bed and do stuff but then I had to get a full time job and it feels like I'm back to square one trying to juggle life, my mental illness, and taking care of what needs to be taken care of with the animals. I constantly feel like I'm failing the animals. But I do think theyre happy. I mean, Apollo obviously feels safe and happy since she's laying eggs. Aster has fun and is just a typical gcc. Lincoln is the one I worry about because of his feather destructive habits which makes it hard to tell if he's actually happy or not...

 

[foxgloveparrot]

Oh yeah, I completely forgot the grief aspect of bird ownership. Losing my parrots HURTS LIKE HELL, and I can cry for days afterward, but even when I lost Nutmeg (probably the worst grief I've ever experienced), I managed to get out of bed every day, take care of my other birds (an amazon, 2 budgies, and a senegal at the time), and go to my classes (i was in college when it happened). But if you don't think you can handle losing a bird... Don't get one (for your own sake), and if you do, and you have other birds at the time you lose your bird, make sure you can get back into your normal care routine and take care of them as normal.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Although this is a sensitive topic for many, I feel like it is not addressed enough. This is the most open I will ever get. THIS IS NOT A VENT, I am just addressing something I feel is important.

First off. I struggle mentally and so do many other people. Putting all details aside, I have both depression and anxiety which both impair my day to day life significantly. Both have been professionally diagnosed so I'm not self diagnosing, and neither do I encourage self diagnosis.

DISCLAIMER: everything I say is my personal experience, and everyone's experiences are unique. If you feel this is not true for you personally, that is okay. But my opinion on this topic won't change

With that being said, I want to discuss the effects parrot have on mental health, good and bad.

First, let's start with the good. For myself, my parrots give me motivation to live and help calm my anxiety at times. Their cute and chaotic personalities make me smile.


Now. The negatives. This side is not discussed a lot.
For me personally, although my birds help me a lot, some days I am just too tired to take care of them. I just feed them and uncover them, go about my day and then just lay in bed as soon as I get the change to. This is something that happens to everyone at times, but for me it is a daily occurrence. It often makes me feel guilty because I unintentionally neglect them. It is hard to take care of them when I struggle to take care of myself.

Also worth mentioning: they make my anxiety worse sometimes
Because of all the effort I need to put in to take good care of my birds, I get overwhelmed and stressed. I stress about their health. I stress about their happiness. I stress that I am not good enough for them. And the list goes on.

It gets exhausting and some days I honestly just want to give them away to someone who can take better care of them. Which is ridiculous because I know there isn't a lot of people out there who can take good care of birds. But unfortunately that is how my anxiety and depression works. Logic doesn't exist and I often make decisions and opinions based on my feelings rather than what is accurate.

What I want to say is, if you are struggling mentally and are considering getting a bird to help with your mental health.. I am sorry but I think it is better for you to get professional help than expect a bird to fix it. Not saying it's a bad thing to get a bird if you're struggling mentally- you just have to consider the outcomes. It can either help or make it worse


Anyways I just felt I needed to talk about that. Hope you all are doing okay

The responsibilities that come with owning even one bird a a lot for anyone but can be absolutely overwhelming for someone who is depressed and anxious. Most of the time getting rid of the birds is an overreaction that would probably be regretted except in the worst cases. It may helpvif you can recruit a friend or family member to come in and help for a few hours when you're feeling like you just can't cope. I realize that many of us don't have anyone in our lives that can be counted on like this. Remind yourself that although you love them to bits and worry that you're neglecting them, they are BIRDS not children and and aren't going to be damaged for life if you are only able to do the bare minimum for them for a while. Keep the TV on while you try to crawl back out of the rabbit hole- your birds will be there when you come back.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I cant have a dog cause I cant handle the relatively short life cycle.
Though I'd love to give some senior dogs a good home it's just too painful.

When I had to put my amazon Abba to sleep cause of a medical issue if you'd seen me in the vets you would have called the loony bin. I was unhinged, wailing at the top of my lungs.

Wailing and unhinged like I was at the bird store when my BFF budgie died in the employee's hands during a beak trim? I thought I set a record for unhinged in public over a bird! You're okay in this regard, either that or I'll meet you at the asylum!

 

[BirdyBee]

The responsibilities that come with owning even one bird a a lot for anyone but can be absolutely overwhelming for someone who is depressed and anxious. Most of the time getting rid of the birds is an overreaction that would probably be regretted except in the worst cases. It may helpvif you can recruit a friend or family member to come in and help for a few hours when you're feeling like you just can't cope. I realize that many of us don't have anyone in our lives that can be counted on like this. Remind yourself that although you love them to bits and worry that you're neglecting them, they are BIRDS not children and and aren't going to be damaged for life if you are only able to do the bare minimum for them for a while. Keep the TV on while you try to crawl back out of the rabbit hole- your birds will be there when you come back.

This is very true. Which is why I created this post to remind people- if you are genuinely unable to cope, DONT GET A BIRD. For the sake of both you and the bird.
Getting a bird while mentally stable is a challenge on its own, but suffering mentally and having a bird at the same time is difficult on another level

 

[BirdyBee]

Oh yeah, I completely forgot the grief aspect of bird ownership. Losing my parrots HURTS LIKE HELL, and I can cry for days afterward, but even when I lost Nutmeg (probably the worst grief I've ever experienced), I managed to get out of bed every day, take care of my other birds (an amazon, 2 budgies, and a senegal at the time), and go to my classes (i was in college when it happened). But if you don't think you can handle losing a bird... Don't get one (for your own sake), and if you do, and you have other birds at the time you lose your bird, make sure you can get back into your normal care routine and take care of them as normal.

This is why I dont want more birds, when I lost my budgie Gertjie I was so depressed. All I did was lay in bed all day, I couldn't even care for my other birds or do what I had to do

 

[Oli]

Juliet was a bandaid to my mental health for 8 years. I was in a bad place when she came into my life, and I didn't realize I funneled literally all of my heart and energy into her. Now that's she's gone, my mental health is back where it was before. I feel like a teenager. They definitely are like any other friend or companion and can't fix anything on their own... I wish I had realized earlier and done the work. Now I'm just suffering without her.