My boyfriend is dying from cancer.

[Nicolee3]

We've had our green cheek conure for 12 years and he has picked my boyfriend as is favorite person. My boyfriend has been battling stage 4 cancer for 4 years and his battle is starting to end. He has chosen to not do hospice because he wants to be at home. When he passes I don't know what to do with Yogi. I don't want him to think that he just left us. Do I let him watch the ambulance take him away? Do I let him sit on him right after he passes? I'm so worried because Yogis life revolves around my boyfriend.

 

[Birdman14]

In my opinion, I wouldn’t let Yogi see the ambulance or any of the medical chaos because it would likely just scare him. I also wouldn’t have him on your boyfriend after he passes, since he won’t understand it and it could confuse or stress him. I think the kindest thing for him is keeping everything around him calm and keeping his routine as normal as possible so he still feels secure.

 

[Jcas57]

I’m so sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this. You are in my prayers. While I don’t want to disagree with the above, in my experience, more intelligent animals do better with understanding death if they are permitted to see for themselves that their loved one has passed on. I have done this with all of my birds, dogs, horses etc. when they lose an animal buddy and it makes a huge difference in their reaction afterwards. They are sad but not so distressed afterwards and do not look for or call for their friend. They really do seem to understand.

Letting your bird see your boyfriend after his passing will likely help Yogi understand what has happened. I would not have the bird around when ambulance etc comes as all of that activity could be stressful and I don’t think it will benefit your bird. Give Yogi lots of love and attention before and after; he may become closer to you after this. Again, I am sorry you are going through this and pray you both will find peace and comfort in this difficult time.

 

[rheashard2]

I’m so sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this. You are in my prayers. While I don’t want to disagree with the above, in my experience, more intelligent animals do better with understanding death if they are permitted to see for themselves that their loved one has passed on. I have done this with all of my birds, dogs, horses etc. when they lose an animal buddy and it makes a huge difference in their reaction afterwards. They are sad but not so distressed afterwards and do not look for or call for their friend. They really do seem to understand.

Letting your bird see your boyfriend after his passing will likely help Yogi understand what has happened. I would not have the bird around when ambulance etc comes as all of that activity could be stressful and I don’t think it will benefit your bird. Give Yogi lots of love and attention before and after; he may become closer to you after this. Again, I am sorry you are going through this and pray you both will find peace and comfort in this difficult time.

The death yes. The chaos no. The chaos could cause confusion. Not specifically birds but I have seen cats, dogs and horses understand the death of their human. Give comfort. There are books on the subject that can help. Check out your library on the subject.

 

[rheashard2]

I forgot one thing. Yogi probably already senses something. My CAG is well aware that something is wrong with me. I have chronic leukemia. Not serious yet. But she inquires about my health daily. Especially after trips to the hospital. All unrelated to the leukemia. After one trip she insisted on moving into my room. Fortunately it's large enough for her cage. That cage is large enough to hold the 3 stooges comfortable. So don't hide it. Give comfort and reassure all-round. Everyone can use it.

 

[texsize62]

My father’s cat at one point started laying on my chest.
Not my lap but always on my chest.
Not long after that I had to go in for a heart valve replacement surgery.

Animals definitely sense when something is wrong, don’t hide it from him.

 

[Birdman14]

I’m so sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this. You are in my prayers. While I don’t want to disagree with the above, in my experience, more intelligent animals do better with understanding death if they are permitted to see for themselves that their loved one has passed on. I have done this with all of my birds, dogs, horses etc. when they lose an animal buddy and it makes a huge difference in their reaction afterwards. They are sad but not so distressed afterwards and do not look for or call for their friend. They really do seem to understand.

Letting your bird see your boyfriend after his passing will likely help Yogi understand what has happened. I would not have the bird around when ambulance etc comes as all of that activity could be stressful and I don’t think it will benefit your bird. Give Yogi lots of love and attention before and after; he may become closer to you after this. Again, I am sorry you are going through this and pray you both will find peace and comfort in this difficult time.

Ya that’s totally fine that’s why I said in my opinion but I haven’t had to deal with this before so you probably know better.

 

[Vampiric_Conure]

Doling hugs to you and your families. I know it's not a human death, but when I saw that Tailgate passed, I let their cagemate, Quasar, see them. Quasar handled it in his own way... I'm sure your fid will handle it, too. **Hugs again**

 

[Nicolee3]

I’m so sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this. You are in my prayers. While I don’t want to disagree with the above, in my experience, more intelligent animals do better with understanding death if they are permitted to see for themselves that their loved one has passed on. I have done this with all of my birds, dogs, horses etc. when they lose an animal buddy and it makes a huge difference in their reaction afterwards. They are sad but not so distressed afterwards and do not look for or call for their friend. They really do seem to understand.

Letting your bird see your boyfriend after his passing will likely help Yogi understand what has happened. I would not have the bird around when ambulance etc comes as all of that activity could be stressful and I don’t think it will benefit your bird. Give Yogi lots of love and attention before and after; he may become closer to you after this. Again, I am sorry you are going through this and pray you both will find peace and comfort in this difficult time.

Thank you for the kind words. I think this is what I'll do. I feel like it would destroy him if he thought he just left him forever.