New here and lost my conure

[Ellie777Australia]

Here is Alex

And Alex on my shoulder

The pics are beautiful Lisa. Thanks for sharing .

 

[LaManuka]

Oh he's beautiful Lisa! My Baci used to sidle himself up to my neck like that too. Thank you for your condolences too. Seriously there is just something about birds that enables them to completely take over your heart whether you realise they've done it or not. It IS hard to move on after a loss like this so please be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. Now can someone please pass me some tissues....that baby is just so gorgeous....I'm crying right along with you over Alex's loss!

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, LaManuka! Thank you for your kind words. I've been crying non stop. I know that it will take time. A lot of time and I won't get over it, I'll just learn to live with this loss.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, Ellie777Australia!

 

[Laurasea]

Alex was beautiful, and look at that great food you gave him!@@

Yes when you find them on the bottom of the cage they are sick or something is wrong. Nit at all to make you feel at fault! But for your knowledge and the readers if your thread. And often even if you took action, they are to far gone at that point..

My Green cheek conure Burt The Burd of 17 years passed. I has feed him some treats and went out to the garden. When I came back he had passed. He only had one working nostril as the other had scarred closed due to a hand feeding issue. Off and on throughout his life he was prone to sinus infections, but it had been 6 years since his last one. On Saturday I had seen one drop of liquid in his nose. On Monday I was going to check in with the vet. He passed on Sunday . Absolutely no other sign if illness. Cheerful, eating. I had just feed him a treat, and less than hours later he was gone. They truly hide being sick. And we all wish so hard they would only let us know!!! Your story and mine and many others we simply find them gone, with no chance to offer help.

Do not carry the burden of his death, carry the joy of his life. Easier said I know.

 

[LaManuka]

Thank you, LaManuka! Thank you for your kind words. I've been crying non stop. I know that it will take time. A lot of time and I won't get over it, I'll just learn to live with this loss.

Yep that's just about the size of it. I only had my Baci for just over 4 years when I lost him, also under circumstances that left me riddled with guilt and second guessing every little thing. That was back in August of 2018, and to this day there are still times when I see a pack of "Baci" chocolates at the supermarket and break down in tears. I don't think I will ever get over him but the wonderful community here (plus a certain crazy lorikeet who forces me to laugh through the tears sometimes!) has helped come to terms with his loss and kept me going.

Although Alex's life was short I think from your description he experienced more love from you and your kids than some will know over the course of many years, and it is clear that he loved you too. That in itself is a most precious gift.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, Laurasea! Yes, many things I haven't caught in time. If only I picked him up when he was on the bottom of his cage. I had no idea. I did have birds before, when I was a child and I thought that I know a thing or two. We kept doing research on conures and asking people who owns birds. It was also a terrible coincidence that I moved and was exhausted when he died, so I overlooked some signs the night before. Maybe not coincidence at all ... if I knew that it would happen, I would've postponed the move and questioned the management on what chemicals they used to clean the apartment. The apartment complex here is pet friendly, but as I understand now birds are more sensitive to everything.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you again, LaManuka. It feels good to have a community who understand. Thank you for crying with me. I do believe that a relationship with a bird is a special kind. I haven't experienced it before with other birds. Maybe because I had them when I was a child. This conure was something special. I am sorry that the loss of your Baci left you with guilt. That's how I feel now. Thank you.

 

[Lisa999]

And thank you for telling your story, Laurasea! I am so sorry you lost Burt The Burd.

 

[Laurasea]

Thank you, you hsve tge right approach, to continue to seek knowledge, it never ends, and birds are having so much advancement in knowledge now.

I'm in the midst of treating a sick bird..and I still am making mistakes and learning...I've been having my own hindsight moments in my current situation. I'm sharing that to make you feel better I hope!!! Not to focus on me

Parrots are incredible, the bond with them us so unique and deep. Just seeing his bowl of chop shows you were ahead of most, who have yet to learn about proper nutrition.

Yes Burt The Burd and in his name i dedicate my time here, i made many mistakes with her( thought was him for 10 years) so I slip up

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, Laura. I saw your other thread and you are taking such a good care of your sick Penny! I wished I had this knowledge and could recognize that Alex wasn't well and could comfort him and get him meds.

 

[saxguy64]

Lisa, I've been watching this thread from the start, but waited to comment since honestly, it hit home for me. You found the forum while seeking like minded folks who understand the bonds with our parrots, and how we feel when we lose them. I'm so sorry you had to find us under such heartbreaking circumstances, but we're glad you're here. You found what you're looking for. So many of us have been there. We truly understand.

Now, the thing that struck me at first was your Alex being only 8 months. Far too short a life for such a beautiful little soul. You had birds previously, but for you, Alex was the one. That special, indescribable bond that feels like never before, and you'll never have again. I have also had other birds, for many years in fact, but never really understood that connection until I met my boy Patches, my first Ekkie. He was my "one." He had the saddest life, and after all that for 18 years, he found me, and got his forever home where he knew how much he was loved. Unfortunately, too much damage had already been done, and he passed in my arms after only 8 months, right before Christmas 2018.

So, yeah, that bond is real. It's unique, and strong, and earth shattering when it's ripped away from you. It's okay to grieve, and you should. I still have bad days when something reminds me.

Everyone is different, so the grieving process is very different from one person to the next. Only you know what that looks like for you, and that's okay.

For me, I chose to open my heart and home to another bird, to honor Patches, and help another bird in need. It was something I needed to do for me. That's where my guy Tucker comes in. (another Ekkie) Aaaaaannnd, in the process of adopting him, my girl Baxter, my YNA, found me, and sucked me in too. I'm so blessed to have them both. I can't imagine life without them now. They'll never be Patches, but that's okay. They're unique individuals, and while completely different, the bonds are just as strong.

I'm not saying go out and get another bird right now. AT ALL. Just saying if it's in the cards at some point, your heart will know when it's ready. Don't rush what your heart needs.

Again, my sincere condolences. Alex was beautiful, and will be missed.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, saxguy. I am so sorry to hear about Patches and that he was with you for only 8 months! Your post is very helpful. I've been thinking what to do now. I don't feel like I trust myself to get another bird but I will keep reading, I will be doing the research, I'll talk to Alex's vet and at some point I hope I will feel confident to have another bird.
I will gladly adopt one but I'd have to do even more research because I am not familiar with behavior issues that birds might have. I've been meaning to ask in the forum when it is the right time to get another bird but then I realized that it might be different for everybody. I am sure I will know when I am ready or there will be a situation when a bird will need a home and I'll be able to provide it.

 

[Scott]

A dear friend shared sage words when my male eclectus "Sasquatch" passed. There is no substitute for full measures of grief, overt mourning, and second-guessing actions. Allow the tears to flow literally and metaphorically by commiserating with like minded friends and family. I sense the desire to keep the door open for a future avian, very healthy sign indeed.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you, Scott. Sorry to hear about your eclectus "Sasquatch" passing. Thank you for sharing the words of wisdom.

 

[Lisa999]

Yesterday I received the necropsy results. The pathologist called me because he knew that I was waiting on the report. He took time to discuss it with me. The only significant finding was the renal gout. No vitamin A deficiency or infection neither bacterial or viral was found. The pathologist thinks that the problem was dietary. Even though we fed Alex a healthy diet of fresh chop every day plus pellets - Rowdy Bush and ZuPreem. I am sure a trained vet would've picked up on the fact that there was a nutritional deficiency and we could've taken care of this problem if we only knew ... I also discussed with the pathologist the move and it's possible that the stress of moving could've contributed to his death. I had no idea a move could be so stressful. It's such a terrible feeling that I wasn't able to help Alex and that I moved him.

 

[Scott]

Renal gout can be advanced by excess protein intake, though your diet for Alex appears mainstream. I've attached a comprehensive article discussing kidney anatomy and function, renal gout discussed page 457. http://avianmedicine.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/16_kidneys.pdf

Given Alex's young age, might there be a hereditary component? Parrots are masters at hiding illness, there was likely no advance warning short of comprehensive blood analysis. Stress is impactful, though folks routinely move parrots without harm.

Please know that while the pathology report was not entirely comforting, most or all of us would have done similar given the circumstances. Sometimes the unthinkable happens despite our best efforts. I am certain Alex knew he was dearly loved and a bit of him will sing in your heart forever.

 

[Lisa999]

Thank you so much, Scott! I've been trying to find more information on renal gout, so the article is very helpful! I think the best advice that I see in the posts is to keep track of the bird's weight. Of course, most of us new to this, never expect that our birds can get so sick.

 

[SailBoat]

Thinking of the Next Step...

When or will I ever want to bring another Parrot into my life is a very personal choice. There is no correct answer another can provide. It is your Heart that will provide guidance. Allow your Heart to guide you.

If your Heart chooses to bring another Parrot into your life, consider an older Parrot and most importantly, 'allow' the Parrot to 'choose' you. They are so very much better at the process than you or I could ever be.

 

[Scott]

Thank you so much, Scott! I've been trying to find more information on renal gout, so the article is very helpful! I think the best advice that I see in the posts is to keep track of the bird's weight. Of course, most of us new to this, never expect that our birds can get so sick.

Weight is extraordinarily important, adjusted for same time daily, ie just after morning poop or similar. Birds do not come with "owner's manuals" and virtually all of us had a steep learning curve. I am just so sorry yours was so unfortunate and sad.