Sorry it’s been awhile

[Laurasea]

My phone died, but if a struggle to get a new one.
I had my big 50 birthday! Alone but I got some good gifts!
Been having some stress. Ok for most of you that’s enough of an update
Read on if you want to hear my stress story......

I live in an old subdivision but the back side of my property sits a house on a different road not part of the subdivision, site is overgrown 2 acres and what was a vacant house with squatters. And was home to three pairs of rare birds, summer tanagers, painted bunting, and American redstart, as well as a pair of owls and other birds. It has since been passed to a member of the family.

He has clear cut most of it, it was overgrown so need some work. He has gone beyond that. Unfortunately trees were on our shared fence line since before I moved here 14 years ago. And a very unfortunate thing is the man has decided he has a crutch or worse on me....... he keeps cutting stuff so he can see me better. Anytime I set food outside he comes running over or drives a 4 wheel along the fence line. And I hear hey girl!!! I’m partially protected by some trees an shrubs on my yard. So his best view is to go on the fence behind my next door neighbor and Holler st me. If I haven’t been out in awhile he rides the fence for hours at a time. He listens for my door to open or looks for my dogs to come out, day or night. I’ve tried everything I can to discourage him. He is not exactly right in the head. I feel hunted. If I step outside into my patio he is there.... he talks about my body, I’ve told him it’s rude but he says he can’t stop looking st me and lives my body......

I’ve had to go outside to water my bushes and flowers because we were having a bad drought that has killer a few things and my orange and grapefruit tree that protect me from directly looking into my house are half dead from the drought....

Also he has started a drifter camp of sorts, moved in trailers of people hard on their luck, picked up a women and her kid from good will store as he told me, she looks like a drug addict.... the house hasn’t been live able so they have big bonfire and and loud music and drinking every night for a month until we hours of the morning. Herod me the other day he is gone to move in one more trailer.... I have no idea how many people are over there but seems to run about 20. Unfortunately the homes on either side of him are family and us in the subdivision are afraid of starting trouble...... he seems to be a hard worker and if he wasn’t obsessed with me and a little off it wouldn’t be so horrible

There more but I’m just stressing myself out by taking about it,.

It doesn’t seem fair that my privacy has been invaded and that I’m the object of his ( lust??) that it bee 6 am or 9 at night if I step outside he at the fence talking about my legs or butt or chest, and calls it compliments that even tho I’ve told him to bug off he won’t,

 

[noodles123]

Who is "he"-a relative? Sorry you are going through this..
No one should ever have to feel lusted over in a creepy way and no one should have to feel like they can't talk about it, so I am glad you are sharing-it's a very uncomfortable feeling to feel uncomfortable in your own skin and home.
None of this is your fault...As far as I can tell, he sounds like a very "interesting" person...ugh..I wonder what his motives are (maybe that is wrong..but it just seems odd when you combine the acts of good-will with the sexual stuff--I would not trust him)....

Maybe I should just not comment because I really don't know a ton...IDK.
Whatever the case, you care about the world and the birds and you are appreciated (even if it's coming from a member on a forum, I mean it)...I hope things get easier, and I hope you are okay.

 

[saxguy64]

Goodness Laura! First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Now, all that other stuff... Stressful is an understatement! I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry you're stuck in that situation. This guy is a creep, and assumes it's okay to be a creep, because no one has stopped him yet. It's not! Stalking is a problem, and that's what he's doing, plain and simple. He's making you feel uncomfortable and unsafe in your own home. I understand not wanting to cause issues in the neighborhood, but it seems like there should be something on the legal side of things in your favor. Perhaps a chat with the police for some advice? A police visit for disturbing the peace? I wish I had something more to offer, but of course, we don't know all the dynamics with your neighbors. If nothing else, we're here if you just need to vent, or to lend any support we can. Keep us posted my friend. I hope things will improve.

 

[Laurasea]

The guy that moved into the house behind me was passed the house from a person in his family. The family has been here before there was a town, they sold off farm land that later became more subdivision..... So the family has deep roots here and his family lives all down the road behind me and some are in the police department....... plus what am I supposed to say to the police that is really a crime ( tho yes it is sexual harassment and stalking) all he does is give me compliments and yes every single time I step outside he rushes over says he can’t get enough of looking st me... I’ve told him I have a boyfriend I’ve told him to stop talking to me like that weather or not he thinks it’s compliments, I’ve told him it’s not appropriate, I’ve told him to stop bothering me when I’m working in my garden.. he says sorry just trying to be nice, leaves but then comes back

He is a little off ( close to having all his witts but not quite there) I don’t think he is evil, I don’t think he is going to stark me. But it’s pretty intense I hid for two days never going to my backyard and he got frantic riding the fence line for about 7 hours straight!!!!! Nit an exaggeration actually 7 hours .

The next day I had to go water my veggies , he came running up but my other end went and talked to him they know eachither their whole lives. When he came back I told him I’m busy I can’t talk to you, then I told him stop talking about my body I do t like it. Then I told him he is acting like a Tom cat chasing the fence line, that made him really embarrassed and he left. Been raining for two days so we will see what happens

It’s a constant assault I hate it!!! Ut I feel like I’m making slight progress...

At 9 pm a couple of days ago I let the dogs out back, when they barked I stuck my head out and he shined a flashlight on me from his side of the fence and said hi , WTH!?!?!?

One time he came to the fence drunker than a skunk sloshing beer and swaying.
I dint feel I can enclose the police without escalating things......

I’m trying to stay strong and keep pushing for him to back off, and not let him rob the joy from my garden and flowers and nature.

Thanks for letting me vent

 

[saxguy64]

Laura my dear, vent away. What are friends for!? This guy gives me the creeps from here. I'm in a small town where everyone knows everyone's business too, but we run the local pharmacy. Things we know about folks would make your head spin lol. HIPAA, sorry, can't tell you... but, it's definitely the better position to be in for us. I have neighbor issues as well, people behind us are certifiable. We've come to an understanding, and they know I'm armed lol!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[noodles123]

The guy that moved into the house behind me was passed the house from a person in his family. The family has been here before there was a town, they sold off farm land that later became more subdivision..... So the family has deep roots here and his family lives all down the road behind me and some are in the police department....... plus what am I supposed to say to the police that is really a crime ( tho yes it is sexual harassment and stalking) all he does is give me compliments and yes every single time I step outside he rushes over says he can’t get enough of looking st me... I’ve told him I have a boyfriend I’ve told him to stop talking to me like that weather or not he thinks it’s compliments, I’ve told him it’s not appropriate, I’ve told him to stop bothering me when I’m working in my garden.. he says sorry just trying to be nice, leaves but then comes back

He is a little off ( close to having all his witts but not quite there) I don’t think he is evil, I don’t think he is going to stark me. But it’s pretty intense I hid for two days never going to my backyard and he got frantic riding the fence line for about 7 hours straight!!!!! Nit an exaggeration actually 7 hours .

The next day I had to go water my veggies , he came running up but my other end went and talked to him they know eachither their whole lives. When he came back I told him I’m busy I can’t talk to you, then I told him stop talking about my body I do t like it. Then I told him he is acting like a Tom cat chasing the fence line, that made him really embarrassed and he left. Been raining for two days so we will see what happens

It’s a constant assault I hate it!!! Ut I feel like I’m making slight progress...

At 9 pm a couple of days ago I let the dogs out back, when they barked I stuck my head out and he shined a flashlight on me from his side of the fence and said hi , WTH!?!?!?

One time he came to the fence drunker than a skunk sloshing beer and swaying.
I dint feel I can enclose the police without escalating things......

I’m trying to stay strong and keep pushing for him to back off, and not let him rob the joy from my garden and flowers and nature.

Thanks for letting me vent

NEVER feel guilty for speaking your mind about something like this! People rely on silence to get away with BS. I am not saying he is the devil, but he may be sketchy.

Just be careful and when you go out, consider carrying mace or something similar..just in case..

 

[LaManuka]

Oh Laura it's so wonderful to have you back my lovely, and I'm so sorry I missed celebrating your birthday with you - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I'm so sorry you appear to have had the village idiot installed next door to you. His family is probably sick of him too, he's probably a huge embarrassment to them - with any luck! I don't know how it works in Florida, but if it was a similar situation in Queensland with a guy like that with connections to the cops, it would be a potentially career-ruining move for a police officer to be seen to be turning a blind eye to complaints like this. There would be *even more* incentive for the cops to intervene, particularly if they received lots of complaints from ALL the neighbours about his shenanigans. I would make lots of calls to the cops and make a note of the name of every single cop you talk to, times and dates etc. It is NOT fair that you are being made to feel a prisoner in your own home just because of some idiot whose family thinks your neighbourhood is their own private kingdom where they can do as they please! And I'd be doing what Noodles suggested and getting myself some mace too - preferably the sort they use on bears! Make sure you keep a close eye on your dogs in the backyard too, you just never know what jerks like these are capable of!

Other than that I hope you and your flock are all doing as well as can be expected, and once again a great big WELCOME BACK LAURASEA, we missed you :smile015:

 

[Jen5200]

I’ve been wondering where you were hiding, I’m glad you are okay (although stressed). Happy belated birthday!

I’m so sorry about the “new addition” to your neighborhood. Vent away, that’s what we are here for. Please don’t hesitate to ask if you need any support. A thought - did you get a new phone? If you did, is there a way to inconspicuously video some of his behavior? I’m assuming (hoping) that you carry your phone with you while you are in your yard, but I’m not sure how close and visible you are to him. Doesn’t have to be good video, but might come in handy later if you need some leverage with the authorities. I hope that you continue to “inspire him” (or embarrass him) into behaving himself - and he quits this unacceptable behavior. Gosh I’m sorry you’re dealing with this

 

[Scott]

:smile054: Happy Big 5-0, Laura!! :smile054:​

​

 

[Scott]

What an unpleasant neighbor, Laura. Sorry you are forced to endure harassment and intrusion. I understand the fine line between tolerating and escalating, primary goal is ensuring your physical and mental well being. Wonder if a visit to the local police station to establish a contact might be helpful?

 

[bug_n_flock]

Oh my goodness, just had a moment to read the first couple of posts. Happy Birthday and please be safe!! This sounds like a situation that could turn bad suddenly! Will read the rest when I have a moment.

 

[Laurasea]

Thanks for the birthday wishes and support!

It’s stressful and difficult to navigate this unwanted attention!
If I’m in my gardens ( I’m try to grow veggies) he will stand at the fence and stares st me from fifty away. I’ll ignore him for like ten minutes. Then say what are you doing?! He will be all happy and say I’m starring at you cuz your so pretty. He doesn’t act menacing , just all happy to see me, with no shame of standing st the fence watching me. Then he say when are you going to ware shorts again I look looking at your legs!!! It’s been over 90 is like to have shorts on but now I never want to have shorts on!!

 

[SailBoat]

As part of one of the branches of my family exists an individual that although kind hearted has difficulties understanding social interactions. Much of what you have described defines him as well. Mental illnesses is as broad as physical illnesses, but sadly, science lacks the ability to address much of them, especially those that involve social interactions.

As stated above, it is well worth a meeting with the local police. That meeting may provide insight /contact information regarding the family. It is likely, they are well aware of your neighbor. But if not, they will appreciate your information.

When shifting one's vantage point, other answers avail themselves.

FYI: A Very Happy, yet belated Birthday, My Good Friend.

 

[Terry57]

First, Happy Belated Birthday Laura!

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, you should be able to feel safe in your own yard! Not only is there the worry that he could become physically dangerous, but with the people he has allowed to encamp there that is a huge concern that one of them could also be dangerous. Even if none of them are a physical danger, you should absolutely not be accosted with unwelcome and completely inappropriate comments when you go out to enjoy your own yard.

I definitely understand being wary of going to the police since he has family members on the force. Have you spoken to your other neighbours about what's going on? I wonder if there is anything you all could do as a group rather than as individuals so that no one was singled out with their complaints.

My heart goes out to you, this is a terrible situation with no easy answers.

 

[Laurasea]

Thank you
Yes with all the people coming and going and the easy view of a single woman is worrying
There has been some yelling and some of the people have left, I talked to him about noise in a very roundabout and casual way and the noise has gone way down!

Sailboat he’s not that “special “ it took a few conversations to realize and think might be due to drug use, past or current, or a disorder as you mentioned... to such an uncomfortable situation . If I had the money I’d get a land survey and put up a huge high fence, but I don’t

With my health issues , and the fact that I love nature my yard and garden have been my biggest joy. I’m having to struggle not to just hide in my house. I hope with time and persistence of not interested his attention will fade.

 

[Squeekmouse]

First off Happy Birthday!!

It’s a constant assault I hate it!!! Ut I feel like I’m making slight progress...

THIS is exactly what it is Laurasea!! Do NOT shrug this off! You have told him repeatedly NO and he is not respecting that. What makes you think he will take NO for an answer to anything if he ignores your wishes? You need to look out for your own safety. Especially if he has a history of alcohol (and likely other drugs by the sounds of it), even a perfect gentleman can become un-gentlemanly under the influence. Please call the police. It's not legal for him to have tenants there, you need licenses and insurance and safety/code inspections in order to have people living on your property in tents, campers, and an uninhabitable building. It's definitely not legal for him to verbally assault your, harass you, invade your privacy, stalk you, and of course the drug use.

It's perfectly natural for you to feel guilty or worried about escalating things, but you are in a dangerous situation and you need to protect yourself. If you don't do anything, and by some miracle he loses interest and finds another target... what might he do to the next person?

Please be careful. Please protect yourself. Please be safe!

 

[Laurasea]

Well today I went to work on the garden st 7 am as he usually sleeps in , but no he came to the fence to say good morning after I was out there for like 3 min....

I just went out again to move wind chimes and stuff and he came running back over to chat... he has gotten rid of all the people except for one , he talked about a garden he is going to start then he said he is not going to be chasing after me!! Yippie!!! And said he had to get back to work on his projects so I think big progress has been made!!!! But since he has come over every time I’ve been outside today we will have to wait and see.

 

[fiddlejen]

As you have done here, you are documenting these occurrences. Whether you post them here or maybe just record in a journal (as well as video - if you can safely - as mentioned by others) - notating these occurrences will be a good idea.

Because, there may be a point for your safety, if he does not back off, you might need to look into getting a Restraining Order. The behavior & speech you have described really does fall into the Stalking and Harrassment categories, esp since he has continued after you requested him to stop & etc.


I think every one of us who reads this is quite concerned for you.

I don't know the way to go about it at all but even though his family has local ties, Maybe still start with somehow sounding-out the police regarding what can be done? Maybe? Or maybe make sure police at least have Report that this person is behaving in these ways??

 

[Laurasea]

Thank you for the good advice about documenting!! And your concern and care
Thank you all so much
I’m going to see how it goes the rest of the week, if he really is going to back off