Starwing
Member
Dear friends and community that I have come to know and love,
today I have gotten the test results of Kobus' day to the avian vet,
and have unfortunately found out that he was tested positive for PBFD.
I am trying to be as coherent as possible as I am typing this through the tears.
When we went to take Kobus for a consult, the vet originally advised against
me getting Kobus tested for PBFD since the chances seemed so slim, and he
was looking very healthy and strong indeed.
And even with what I know now, when I look at Kobus, I see a bluefronted
virile young man. Man, since I also know that "she" is in fact a he after all.
The vet assured me that it could take a while before Kobus would fall ill,
and that she has seen parrots live for twenty years after infection, as rare
as it may be. She also said that there is even a minute chance that a
strong, healthy bird with enough resistance might fight off the disease
to a point that it eventually wouldn't turn up in a bloodtest anymore,
even though those chances are even slimmer.
Needless to say, I feel absolutely devastated and have been crying on and
off ever since I have gotten the news. Luckily my girlfriend remains very
practical and sober and already kicked my butt and told me not to mourn
a living, happy bird, for it is alive and full of joy, and that we should save
mourning for the dead.
I, even moreso, find her attitude to be extremely strong, especially since
Kobus has bonded much more with her than me since we got her, which
might be explainable now that we know that our little princess is actually
a handsome prince.
I have felt an absolutely gutwrenching sense of guilt the entire evening,
since I couldn't talk to or touch and pet Kobus "like normal" without bursting
into tears, and I have the distinct feeling that my little guy doesn't understand
the least of it.
Since I do not know when Kobus was originally infected, and since I have
owned her for only about a year and a half now, for all we know he might
already have been carrying the disease as we got him.
More likely, unfortunately, is the possibility that a cockatiel that my neighbor
bought was sick, in hindsight probably PBFD, and died.
This happened *after* Kobus had spend a weekend at my neighbors, when
we were away for one weekend.
I have also taken Kobus to a pet store of which I knew the owner once,
to get his nails clipped, something I regretted as well, after reading about
the existence of the disease.
In the end, I guess the past is the past and the actual source does no
longer matter. All I know is what I know now.
I have, however, decided that as long as Kobus is the happy bird we know
and love, I will take as good care of him as I can, and will take his joy for
life and situation at the time as my primary interest. My girlfriend has already
opted that we knit him a sweater for if/when he gets bald.
All in all, I am feeling quite miserable, obviously, and I'm not sure what
the future holds. Ofcourse I have read more than I should have, on the
subject, and I know the "clinical" details of the disease.
I know the prognosis on the long run is bad. I know some people think
I should euthanize the bird right now to not see it slide down, but I
can't possibly think of that, not how he is doing now.
The thing that really haunts me, however, is realizing that my paranoia
on the matter was not paranoia, but rather "knowing", yet trying to
convince itself that "I was probably just BEING paranoid".
Now, I guess we're just going to try and keep Kobus happy, wellfed
and strong and keep her resistance up as much as possible.
And, as hard as it's going to be, I'm going to have to be strong and
try to treat Kobus as I would normally, something which suffocates me
thinking about it right now. I hope that will ease down after tonight.
I could use any thought on the matter as we've got a long road ahead,
and *any* advice other than euthanasia is more than welcome.
Love,
Mr and mrs StarWing (and ofcourse Kobus)
today I have gotten the test results of Kobus' day to the avian vet,
and have unfortunately found out that he was tested positive for PBFD.
I am trying to be as coherent as possible as I am typing this through the tears.
When we went to take Kobus for a consult, the vet originally advised against
me getting Kobus tested for PBFD since the chances seemed so slim, and he
was looking very healthy and strong indeed.
And even with what I know now, when I look at Kobus, I see a bluefronted
virile young man. Man, since I also know that "she" is in fact a he after all.
The vet assured me that it could take a while before Kobus would fall ill,
and that she has seen parrots live for twenty years after infection, as rare
as it may be. She also said that there is even a minute chance that a
strong, healthy bird with enough resistance might fight off the disease
to a point that it eventually wouldn't turn up in a bloodtest anymore,
even though those chances are even slimmer.
Needless to say, I feel absolutely devastated and have been crying on and
off ever since I have gotten the news. Luckily my girlfriend remains very
practical and sober and already kicked my butt and told me not to mourn
a living, happy bird, for it is alive and full of joy, and that we should save
mourning for the dead.
I, even moreso, find her attitude to be extremely strong, especially since
Kobus has bonded much more with her than me since we got her, which
might be explainable now that we know that our little princess is actually
a handsome prince.
I have felt an absolutely gutwrenching sense of guilt the entire evening,
since I couldn't talk to or touch and pet Kobus "like normal" without bursting
into tears, and I have the distinct feeling that my little guy doesn't understand
the least of it.
Since I do not know when Kobus was originally infected, and since I have
owned her for only about a year and a half now, for all we know he might
already have been carrying the disease as we got him.
More likely, unfortunately, is the possibility that a cockatiel that my neighbor
bought was sick, in hindsight probably PBFD, and died.
This happened *after* Kobus had spend a weekend at my neighbors, when
we were away for one weekend.
I have also taken Kobus to a pet store of which I knew the owner once,
to get his nails clipped, something I regretted as well, after reading about
the existence of the disease.
In the end, I guess the past is the past and the actual source does no
longer matter. All I know is what I know now.
I have, however, decided that as long as Kobus is the happy bird we know
and love, I will take as good care of him as I can, and will take his joy for
life and situation at the time as my primary interest. My girlfriend has already
opted that we knit him a sweater for if/when he gets bald.
All in all, I am feeling quite miserable, obviously, and I'm not sure what
the future holds. Ofcourse I have read more than I should have, on the
subject, and I know the "clinical" details of the disease.
I know the prognosis on the long run is bad. I know some people think
I should euthanize the bird right now to not see it slide down, but I
can't possibly think of that, not how he is doing now.
The thing that really haunts me, however, is realizing that my paranoia
on the matter was not paranoia, but rather "knowing", yet trying to
convince itself that "I was probably just BEING paranoid".
Now, I guess we're just going to try and keep Kobus happy, wellfed
and strong and keep her resistance up as much as possible.
And, as hard as it's going to be, I'm going to have to be strong and
try to treat Kobus as I would normally, something which suffocates me
thinking about it right now. I hope that will ease down after tonight.
I could use any thought on the matter as we've got a long road ahead,
and *any* advice other than euthanasia is more than welcome.
Love,
Mr and mrs StarWing (and ofcourse Kobus)