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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2014, 04:14 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Dear RainbowRose,
Please don't blame yourself. Grief and tears are a normal reaction to your loss. You did the best you could for your little friend, and what you are going through right now is only confirming your love. I was 16 when my little doggy was killed by a reckless motorcyclist, and I had to spend long time in a hospital because I got very ill after the initial nervous breakdown. It kept coming back for 3 years making me disabled and sending me to hospitals again. Be careful with your health - I know it maybe sounds egoistic, but there are other creatures who need your love, like little Tiki's sister. She needs your love NOW, and there is no her fault in what had happened. She senses your grief, but she doesn't know the reason. Depriving her from your love at this moment is unfair, I think. I know it's easy to say, but hard to do.

Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2014, 04:47 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

So sad to hear of your loss...no words can take away your pain and the length of time spent with our loved ones is irrelevant whether one year or fifty. Grieving has no time frame...it's individual. Take all the time you need...and be kind to yourself...
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RainbowRose (11-03-2014)
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2014, 10:05 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Thanks for ur input goalerjones. I don't think ppl should be taking things into their own hands in serious matters like illness etc either, but I would rather him go with me holding him then leave him alone to struggle and die. A vet would have been able to do nothing because after $1000 all tests and treatments got us nowhere. He was terminal and I hate that it was his time. I just feel guilt I wish I could have done more but I wouldn't classify my situation as unjust intervention. The vet was also closed it was late, we would have never made it regardless. It really is situational I guess. I always took Tiki to the vet and I was planning on maybe euthanize my him the week before but I STILL said ok I'll try ONE more thing (like I always did.) it was just his time I am sad
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Tiki & Cleo, may you both rest in peace together now at the rainbow bridge.

Last edited by RainbowRose; 11-03-2014 at 03:43 PM.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2014, 10:11 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Quote: Originally Posted by veimar View Post
Dear RainbowRose,
Please don't blame yourself. Grief and tears are a normal reaction to your loss. You did the best you could for your little friend, and what you are going through right now is only confirming your love. I was 16 when my little doggy was killed by a reckless motorcyclist, and I had to spend long time in a hospital because I got very ill after the initial nervous breakdown. It kept coming back for 3 years making me disabled and sending me to hospitals again. Be careful with your health - I know it maybe sounds egoistic, but there are other creatures who need your love, like little Tiki's sister. She needs your love NOW, and there is no her fault in what had happened. She senses your grief, but she doesn't know the reason. Depriving her from your love at this moment is unfair, I think. I know it's easy to say, but hard to do.

Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!
Thanks, this sounds a lot like my reaction. I want to spoil my new babies esp Tikis sister it's just difficult because they're not tame they are so unbearably wild (both parent raised) so they are skittish. Tiki was a warm friendly bird so I start to compare which is wrong of me. I should not compare them. Yes they are not him, but they still are my pets I bought them. I will love and spoil them just as much, I just get impatient and need instant gratification sometimes :/ I hope they tame down fast...

Thanks again everyone. It's helping me vent
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Tiki & Cleo, may you both rest in peace together now at the rainbow bridge.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2014, 11:37 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

So if they are wild and skittish, they are probably lonely, scared and missing their parents! Try to imagine yourself in their shoes. They need a lot of your love and attention - it's great that they can distract you from your grief. YOU have to be their parent now no matter how difficult it is.
Believe me, the distraction is extremely important to keep you sane and be able to move on with your life. I've gone through one of the deepest griefs of suddenly loosing a parent… Only making myself extremely busy and taking classes kept me sane, until I ended up in a hospital again. I'll never have my health back again as it was before, and pain is my every day companion. The grief can affect your physical health very seriously - so please try to make yourself busy with other things and find a meaning in life. It is possible and it is necessary.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2014, 08:38 AM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Please contact your local hospital and ask about any grief support groups that are around you and go. Right now you need the support they can help give you.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2014, 10:57 AM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Quote: Originally Posted by MacawLoverOf3 View Post
Please contact your local hospital and ask about any grief support groups that are around you and go. Right now you need the support they can help give you.
I think that's a great idea. However, if she tells people it's a bird she's grieving about, other people might not be so nice. You know how non-bird people are... Clueless! Say it's your relative.

Check out the Peaceful Paws website (pet cremation and services). Peaceful Paws | Lake Elsinore Pet Cremation, Memorials | L.A. Pet Urns
Both my avian vets use them, and I can tell you they are a top knotch company. Look under the section for loss support. They have meetings out here, but I know you're on the other side of the country. You can call, maybe they have a webcast or something? Maybe they have grief counselors to speak to?
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-03-2014, 10:31 AM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

What you are going through is perfectly normal.

January of 2012, I lost Kalani, a blue front amazon that I had for 9 years and meant the world to me. She developed a cyst that ended up needing to be surgically removed. I dropped her off at 8am. Around 11am I get a call form the vet. I was sitting in the kitchen at my parent's house. I could tell by the tone of the vet's voice that she was gone. And she was. I immediately burst into tears. Couldn't even talk to the vet, I was crying so hard. It was embarrassing; but the overwhelming feeling of sadness just takes over! I miss that bird dearly. I went though the phase of what-if's, what else could have been done, ect. But the truth is, none of that will bring her back. The vet sent out a card and little memorial piece in the mail. I cried when I read it. Even right now, the thought of her is bringing tears to my eyes, and this is almost three years later! Death is never easy to deal with it. Even when its a beloved pet. It is ok to cry and to "let it out". It helps to also have people to talk to. Don't blame yourself, or think about the what-ifs. Just cherish the memories of little Tiki and the joy he brought you. Focus on the positive times. I wish you the best!


I also lost Kimi back in March of this year to PDD. Although I only had him around for 11 days, it was excruciatingly hard. Tried everything to help him, but it was just too late. That was one of the worst weeks ever.

Last edited by 95talongirl; 11-03-2014 at 10:34 AM.
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Old 11-03-2014, 10:38 AM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Please don't blame or second guess yourself...you did everything you possibly could for Tiki, including making the hard decision at the end. My thoughts go out to you, and I pray you are soon able to find some peace. I hope you are able to take some solace in the fact that Tiki was so loved, and he felt that each and every day he was with you.
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In rescuing birds, I lost my mind but found my soul.
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RainbowRose (11-03-2014)
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-03-2014, 03:30 PM
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Re: Need advice, keep crying

Thanks everyone. I reread your messages and they help a lot. And I am starting therapy this Wednesday at my local medical center. I'm glad I can go there cause there really is no time in my schedule I am already swamped in graduate school let alone work. So it's easy that it's local. Ya know I really just didn't expect to react like this! Just lots of what ifs are going through my head so I want them to go away so I can just move on.

On a slightly happier note, I went to Comicon and an artist made Tiki flying away into a rainbow as opposed to his other requests like super heroes and other scifi things It reminded me of pets going over the rainbow bridge (the poem for the loss of pets) so it was comforting and just coincidentally he didn't draw his face so that was actually ironic and good for me because my issue was that I keep picturing his face in his last moment.. So... That was decent for me. Here is a photo:



I thought it was cute; I am going to frame it and put it next to a photo of him and I and his little tin of ashes will go in front of them. And he will be on the nightstand next to my bird cage so he will be right there all the time when I go to see my birds I am feeling heartache thinking about it but it is comforting me to do this stuff!

And thank you again for the posts, like I said I reread them and remind myself of what is.
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Tiki & Cleo, may you both rest in peace together now at the rainbow bridge.
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