My new U2 has bonded with my daughter :(

I'm sad.
I adopted a 6 year old female U2 last month. This came after lots of soul searching, education and looking for the right bird. My original plan was to get a baby. I had a cockatoo 25 years ago, that I really loved. I had her for 8 years. I was newly married and pregnant with a child that was born with complications. My bird was strongly bonded to me and was getting aggressive with everyone. I sadly gave her to a breeder, but I couldn't have her charging at my newborn baby...

25 years later. Like I said, I was looking for a baby, but couldn't find one. Plus I succumbed to pressure on the board to find an adoptable bird, after comments about so many unwanted birds.....
Now my bird appears to have bonded very strongly to my 19 year old daughter. She is showing signs already of mating behaviors. I have cautioned her not to rub the bird below the neck, but she admits she does when the bird lifts her wing and gets all cuddly. I know that I have done the same thing. Pippa doesn't display mating behavior with me though. Now she charges at me with "crazy eyes" if my daughter is in the room. Its frightening and painful. If my daughter isn't in the room, shes a angel with me. I am the only one who feeds her, cleans her cage, etc. She is so loving with me when we are alone. Sometimes her eyes kind of go blank looking at me, and she just attacks my face. Up until today, I haven't been afraid of her and I handle the situation. I don't use negative discipline and I end each interaction on a positive note. Until today.
She attacked me twice, aggressively, at my eyes. My daughter had to get her off of me. We put her right in her cage where she turned all sweet and loving again. Grrrrrr....

So, I'm sad. I've wanted this bird for so long. I only want her to be happy, but my daughter is going to be moving out in 6 months to go to college. SHe can't take Pippa either. THe reason I wanted a cockatoo was to fill my empty nest. Now I'm afraid I'll end up with an empty next AND an angry bird in my otherwise empty nest.

Do you experts think that I can get her to lessen her bond with my daughter and form a strong bond with me? I know we've only had her a short time (1 month) My daughter is willing to stop holding her at all to help the situation.
Please give me suggestions. I appreciate it!

Once your daughter leaves things should smooth right out, and since she's leaving there is no real reason for her to interact much with the bird now. Truthfully, her rubbing the bird in a (perceived) sexual manner is a breech of trust, and you might want to explain to her that this is only hurting the bird in the long run when she leaves. Those two need to cool off immediately. This will pass, but it will be much harder if she continues to mollycoddle her. She'll probably cry and be upset after your daughter leaves, but she'll get over it and you can work in your bond with her. But if your daughter continues to bond with her, it will be harder in the end. Put a lock on the cage if you have to when you're not around.

Once your daughter leaves for college she would have no one else to bond with but you. But yes I've dealt with a U2 just like that but he eventually turned on me because I tried to stop him from attacking my partner and my other animals. Plus I don't let him get close to my face like he wanted to, he wanted to cuddle near my neck like he's done with his previous owner. When I told him no he went crazy and started attacking me none stop. Regardless even IF you got a baby, this still can happen once maturity hits! This is something you gotta remember about Cockatoos, must be cautious in whatever you do. They will turn on you very quickly if your not careful. Not every bird is the same like your previous Cockatoo, some will lash out like your current one. So one thing you should never do is have them too close to your face or on your shoulders period. And do not let them roam on the floor cause they learn to be terrorist on the floor. They need to be on the play stand or inside their cage if your not holding them. They don't tolerate discipline very well, so when you put them back in the cage like that, they will remember! Then they act all sweet and innocent within their cage to trick you. I don't usually like to clip my birds that's with me, but a U2 would be one I will not hesitate to clip due to some of them doing fly attacks which can become very dangerous.

Yes there are many birds out there that needs to be adopted so it's not a bad thing you did but I always let people know the potential problem a Cockatoo can give you. I have posted countless times on the danger they can do to a person. Cockatoos are the last bird I would ever suggest anyone to adopt if they're not ready for it. They need someone with knowledge with the specie and be willing to handle it when it comes down to it. I only give mine up due to safety of everyone else in the household cause he was uncontrollable by anyone else but me. Plus he actually scares me as I've never been afraid of any bird prior to him even though I've been bitten countless times but when he went full on attack when I try to make him stop, he scares me. I'm very cautious around him whenever I cleaned his cage cause he's not trustworthy. He have his sweet moments when he sleeps in my lap or when I want to clip his nails, he hand me his toes to clip without fuss. But after him, I wouldn't have one ever again. I'll stick to my LSC2, she's a total sweet heart. But there's others with LSC2 that's totally evil.

Thank you for the reply, although now I feel even more hopeless. I was hoping someone could offer suggestions on where to go from here. Are you suggesting I don't keep her?

Of course you should keep her, just keep your daughter at a respectable distance, and tell her not to stroke the bird in a perceived sexual manner reserved for mates.

Kalidasa said:

Of course you should keep her, just keep your daughter at a respectable distance, and tell her not to stroke the bird in a perceived sexual manner reserved for mates.

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Thank you KalidSa. I appreciate your advice. We are going to cut off all contact with my daughter and Pippa and hope that works. Mikey's response really scares me though and he painted a very bleak future.
Pippa attacked me again tonight She was playing on her tree and my husband came in the room and she ran over to me and started biting me. I don't know if she hates me, or is just still afraid, so she's lashing out at me. I just don't get what happened. She was great for three weeks and in the span of two days she's completely turned on me. Sigh....

I'm not trying to scare you but give you the pointer that you haven't been told before. I will be upfront with you in what I tell you. I know way too many people with cockatoos. You just have to be cautious with them, not telling you to give her up but start fun training with her and let her know her boundaries.

Thank you mikey. I used your advice about not letting her on the floor and no more under the neck cuddles from ANYONE. i hope its not too late! But today is a new day and we are starting over. I appreciate your help!

Your quite welcome! I just don't want you to post down the road your cockatoo attacked your face and left permanent scars. The longer you allow them to do what they want the harder it is to stop them from doing so cause they will retaliate when you tell them no. Best to start from the get go so nothing like that will ever happen. Java being at 20 something years old, it was very hard to stop him cause his previous owner did that with him for almost 10 years. I'm sadden by the news with his new home, he fly attacked the guy's wife pretty good which he never do with me. His previous home was a woman and he would attack her husband but he took on to me from day one. But it surprised me he attacked his wife. I suggested to them to clip his wings which would be the only way to solve that issue with the fly attack. I hope the best for you and don't hesitate to ask if you have any issue as there's plenty of Cockatoo owners in here to help with any of your issue.

How do you sexually stimulate the birds? I was told by rubbing above the tail. Is it true that you cant rub below the neck or under the wings?!

One of our avian vet tells you not to pet anywhere below the neck.... Under the wings is a big 'courting' touch with birds. Its okay to check under the wings or lift the wings if you're looking to make sure no one is plucking or such, but actually rubbing or stroking is not advised. So keep it from the neck up to be safe

gizzygirl said:

How do you sexually stimulate the birds? I was told by rubbing above the tail. Is it true that you cant rub below the neck or under the wings?!

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Thats right, keep it at the neck, head , around the eyes, under the chin. I think an occaisional under the wing is ok, but just as a quick, sweet treat. !

Truthfully, I think things will work out for you. Try not to get discouraged, it will take time and patience.

It seems like you're wanting the same type of bond that you had with your old bird. It's not going to happen. It took me a long time (about 8 months) to start to like my new bird because I kept comparing him to my old one. I eventually realized I am just going to have to like my new bird for his own qualities and quarks, and do things that he enjoys.

I'm sure there are plenty of activities you and your bird can do that will strengthen your bond without putting yourself at risk of injury. Try crafting new toys, especially foraging toys, and cooking for him. Give him plenty of new things to engage his mind. I also advise trick training. It's not really neccessary that he learns any tricks actually, it's more about him learning to understand you. Take him for walks outside in a carrier. His mind should be so distracted with all that's going on he shouldn't have thoughts about mating or aggression.

I understand your sadness. I advise you that not only you attempt to change your bird's behavior, but also your mindset about how you approach your bird. Don't despair in what you don't have, be glad in what you do. The stress you feel right now is probably rubbing off on your bird as well.

khaiqha raised a very good point... Accepting him for who he is... Rehomed or rescue birds are kinda like adopting a human kid, most likely there is some type of emotional damage and you need to accept them for who and what they are.

We are in the process of adopting another bare eyed cockatoo from A Helping Wing. We knew walking in that he will likely never be anything remotely like our Ivory. Folger has had a horrible life and suffered some true abuse at the hands of humans, it may take us years to earn any level of trust with him. He definitely likes us and wants to play and spend time, but to have a real bond of trust, not sure that may ever come with his 'issues in life' (Jeanne at the shelter laughs out loud when I use that phrase about him, he's such a problem boy). So, we know that he may be a bird that has just certain abilities to interact. While my Ivory is a big love and super sweet personality, Folger will be a child we truly need to accept him as he is, damage and issues - warts and all! But, for us, we feel we can offer him a great home with as good chance as he will ever have to coming back around to the potential we see in him. And no matter what, he'll have a secure stable home where he can live and be whatever type of bird he is able to be...

Its just my opinion, but the patience and love needed to help turn around any animal that has seen neglect and abuse in life will provide the greatest satisfaction. He may never be the sweet affectionate bird you knew before in life, but there will be a new bond and relationship, maybe different, but no less special.

Good luck with him and as khaiqha mentioned, appreciate what you have and hopefully after a little settling in, you'll see he's a great friend in his own way!

I think it's quite possible your U2 will bond with you, given enough time. One month is not long at all for a U2 to adjust to new surroundings and new people. It sounds like your daughter was unintentionally sending the wrong signals. I've found it's best to discourage any kind of mating behavior by distracting them with a toy, placing them on a play stand, playing music or trick training. They tend to be emotional, maybe it's just a passing crush on your daughter.

U2'S are flock birds. Their loyalties change, sometimes with the wind, or who happens to be paying attention to them at that particular moment in time...

Sprince I have a little 2 year old U2 that was kind enough to freak out and bite me in the face twice. She did the calm attack where she would be looking at you like she loved you more than anything in the world then freak out and attack your face. I learned real quick cockatoo body language and respect the cockatoo lol. Keep it away from my face after 3pm. That's just her. She hates my daughter and will attack me if she can't get to her to get me out of "harms" way. That's how they make their mate move quickly bite them. You may need a behaviorist. I used Jamie Whitacker from Texas. She has cockatoos and knows all their crap. I taught Mina "no beak" that means you are putting that beak on me way to stinking hard. I say it forcefully and angry face. She gets 2 chances oops she fails in the cage time out on a positive note. Put her in say its ok. I'll be back put soft music on. Leave Go back in 1/2 hour see if she has a better attitude.

Thank you! Pippa does that suprise attack sometimes. Did you do a phone consult? Ive been thinking of a behaviorist.....