Is it time to say goodbye?

Hi everyone

After many trips to the avian vets, weeks of worrying and hundreds of pounds in vet bills, I was told that my feather baby has a brain tumour and is going to die. I discussed my options with my vet and decided to let Hardimos have his last days.
The last few weeks have been very difficult and although I'm trying my best to remain positive, I have a permanent lump in my throat. My time with Hardimos is running out, I'm heart broken but don't want to keep hold of him for selfish reasons.
At the moment, Hardimos struggles to get around because his tumour is slowly paralysing his legs. He has poor balance so isn't grooming himself properly and he occasionally falls over. However, he is eating and drinking normally and is still talking to me.
Yesterday, Hardimos was on the living room floor. I walked to the opposite end of the room and he tried to follow me...He lost his balance and flapped about on the floor. It was a really upsetting sight. I feel it would be kind to put him to sleep before he begins to suffer but he hasn't lost that "spark" in his eyes yet...Even though his body is giving up he still looks and behaves like my beautiful baby, which is making me feel really torn in two.

Sorry for going on and on...I guess I just need to vent.



Ps: I know this is an awful question but it's a question that's been on my mind for a few days. How will they put him to sleep? If it's horrible or if he gets frightened I'll never forgive myself

I am so sorry for what you and Hardimos are going through. I cannot even imagine your pain in watching him go through this. Please don't apologize for venting, we are here for you. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers

Thanks Terry57. It has been a really difficult time for the whole family.

I'm in tears reading your story I am so very sorry for the pain you and your baby are going through.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

Kitty, I am so very sorry!!!

My heart goes out to you, your family, and of course to Hardimos.

My avian vet uses gas, and he will allow for the owner to hold their beloved bird in the process to ease the journey.

Many hugs to you!!

Thank you for your replies everyone.

The idea of gas being used has put my mind at ease because it sounds quite peaceful. Can any vet put him to sleep or is it best to go to an avian vet? The reason I ask is because I don't want to stress Hardimos out in his last moments by travelling to the avian vet if my local vet could do it.

Words can't describe how heart broken I am right now

saying goodbye is the hardest decision to ever make or accept....and I say this with tears in my eyes.

I wish you the very best with what ever decision you make.

The eyes will tell you when it's time. Euthanasia is a difficult decision and it should be. Since the prognosis is poor for your little buddy try to focus on the good times. When he gets to the point he can no longer eat, move around, and groom himself is the time to start thinking about quality of life. Remember he will always try to please you, and at the end you must give him the ultimate reward: release from his frail body to fly free.

I know this is not easy, and I feel for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you TessieB. Your reply was lovely.

His eyes tell me he's still here. He's eating and drinking well but he's unable to groom himself...He hasn't removed his feather casings so a lot of his feathers look like look spikes. I know it might sound silly but I'm sure Hardimos is embarrassed by his appearance, he's a very proud boy so it's upsetting to see him looking a mess

My heart is breaking for you and your family. It is never easy to have to say good by to a loved member of your family. I think you will know when it is time for Hardimos to cross over the rainbow bridge and fly free. I am sure you are giving him the best pallative care you can with his last days.

It has been my experience that the greatest gift you can give your bird is to be able to be with them when they pass. I always felt that to be there with them lets them know they are not alone and that they are very loved. I was able to be there with my Eclectus Joaquin when he died. The vet called me at 1:15 am and I rushed to the clinic. Joaquin waited for me to get to the clinic which surprised the vet because when birds are in the process they go pretty quickly. I was able to be with Joaquin and hold him, sing to him and let him know it was alright to go. Joaquin's last gift was waiting for me to get to him so that we could be together during his last moments. As hard as that was to go though I am thankful I was able to be there for him so Joaquin knew he was not alone and he knew he was loved.

I hope your avian vet will be able to provide the service of you being able to be with Hardimos during his last moments so that he can go with you being able to be with him. This will help bring both of you the peace you both deserve.

I've yet to experience it with a bird, but my companion pet growing up was a beautiful, gentle Irish wolfhound who died of cancer. It's twenty years now but I can still remember with absolute clarity the moment of looking into her eyes that last day and knowing she was ready to go. It's an awful thing to go through but it comes to us all: and all we can do is cope with the grief when it hits, and in time the good memories will flood out the bad.

I'm so very sorry for what you are going through. It's an awful decision to have to make, but in many cases it is the final act of kindness to give to your companion. It might help to call the veterinarian and discuss it fully before you make the trip. Most vets will explain the procedure to you in detail and let you know what to expect. The veterinarian I worked for always let the parents choose wether or not to be in the room or to hold the pet. Tell them all of your concerns beforehand. Those decisions are yours alone. After your conversation you will know wether or not that docter is the right one to perform the procedure. Again I am so sorry.

noblemacaw said:

My heart is breaking for you and your family. It is never easy to have to say good by to a loved member of your family. I think you will know when it is time for Hardimos to cross over the rainbow bridge and fly free. I am sure you are giving him the best pallative care you can with his last days.

It has been my experience that the greatest gift you can give your bird is to be able to be with them when they pass. I always felt that to be there with them lets them know they are not alone and that they are very loved. I was able to be there with my Eclectus Joaquin when he died. The vet called me at 1:15 am and I rushed to the clinic. Joaquin waited for me to get to the clinic which surprised the vet because when birds are in the process they go pretty quickly. I was able to be with Joaquin and hold him, sing to him and let him know it was alright to go. Joaquin's last gift was waiting for me to get to him so that we could be together during his last moments. As hard as that was to go though I am thankful I was able to be there for him so Joaquin knew he was not alone and he knew he was loved.

I hope your avian vet will be able to provide the service of you being able to be with Hardimos during his last moments so that he can go with you being able to be with him. This will help bring both of you the peace you both deserve.

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I actually had to cry when i read this.
I lost my first budgie,i only had her for 3 weeks.
She was already sick when i got her,and her being my first i didn't know what to look out for.
I rushed to emergency care ,but their was nothing they could do.
They gave her an injection and she was flapping around so helpless.
I will never forget that moment.
And while i was crying so bad i couldn't see,they asked me to pay and get out,they wanted to close....

I went through this a few years ago with my 38 year old blue front, who died of an intestinal tumor.

My "head in the eye socket bird." Sweetest damned bird I ever knew...

In the end she could barely hold herself up anymore, and it was all she could do to climb onto my shoulder, and press her face next to my cheek... at that point, I told her she was a good bird, and that I loved her, but that she was very tired, and it was time to sleep, now.

My doctor came in and gave her a shot in her neck, with her still there on my shoulder, and her face still pressed against mine. He turned out the lights, and I stroker her head feathers, and talked her to sleep.

After about 10-15 minutes, or so, her head which had been tightly pressed against my face fell over onto my shoulder... and she was gone...

BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN!!!

Since that day, I lost half my flock. I still have five other birds who I dearly love... but I still miss her terribly!

My oldest bird is now 40 years old, and I may not outlive that one. But I should outlive the rest.

Dear Kitty,
I am in tears after reading your story. I feel so terrible for you, and your beautiful boy. There is no pain like what you two are going through right now.

Having recently lost a bird who was so dear to me, that I will never be the same- I am familiar with what you are feeling. My birds death was so sudden, that I did not know what to do, didn't have time to say good bye, and I was not there when he passed.

You are fortunate, in one respect only, that being that you can say goodbye. I would spend every moment adoring him, making him happy, and comfortable, which I am sure you are. I know it's no consolation.

The more I try to think of something comforting to say to you, the more I realize, that there just are NO words. Please know that there are so many of us here, sending thoughts of love and comfort to you both.

Oh boy, this is a hard thread to read! I came back to it because you and Hardimos have not left my thoughts

So many of us are thinking of you, crying with you and wishing you strength in this difficult time. Like someone else said, NOTHING we say will make it easier but know that we are keeping you in our thoughts.

This has got to be the hardest thread I've read on this forum. I'm choking back tears right now. My heart is breaking for you. I haven't lost a bird yet, but I have had to end the suffering of 3 different dogs in my life, and it never got easier.
You will both be in my thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you.

I am so sorry that you and Hardimos are going through this. It is a hard decision but you both will know when it is time to say goodby in this life.

I'm so sorry Kitty. How old is he?

I have Cochins. I love them, they're wonderful birds. I used to have a partridge bantam, Danny, he was the greatest rooster you'd ever meet - he pecked me once in his life, and didn't have a fear in the world. He took care of his girls, ran for protection when ravens came, and one day I nearly lost him to a fox. We had a goose who saved him, but he lost a few tail feathers. He would run up to you clucking if you had a treat, yet (unlike our other birds) didnt mind at all if you walked up to him and picked him up.

We couldn't afford to keep our chickens, and had to sell them. I regret it every moment. I will never have another rooster like him, never will have a bird as a Good as him.

You will know when it's his time, and you'll be there to cuddle him, and love him. He had a good life, and he loves you.


I send you my condolences, and wish you best of luck.