Insert inappropriate title here

[BIRDIGIRL]

Roger (White eyed Conure) before he passed for years had one toy and that was its only purpose but Mr Biggles has only displayed sexual urges once and that was the week after he came but apart from that he hasnt shown any urges as yet...Peter Pan is female and I have never seen her masturbate yet she is 4 and layed two eggs last year. Personally speaking I wouldnt remove the toy from the handsome flirtatious Yoshi

 

[GaleriaGila]

I did not realize that parrots had sex toys. I'm certainly glad we had this talk!

 

[BIRDIGIRL]

My "worst ever" inappropriate bird story: DEMITRE (who else)

Yes, the little "special shower perch" bird...

My EVIL dusky conure...

First... he fed me. (sort of) Did the happy head bob on my shoulder, and then stuffed the contents of his beak into my ear hole...

Ever had wet bird puke in your ear?!

Ever tried to get a glob of wet bird puke OUT OF your ear?!

OH, BUT WAIT... IT GETS BETTER...

Because this was a "date rape" situation. Having "bought me dinner" he then proceeded to latch on to my ear with both feet AND his beak, and then he stuffed SOMETHING ELSE into my ear hole, and began pumping like mad. (And biting my fingers when I tried to pry his little butt off my ear.)

YEAH, now THAT was inappropriate! In fact IT WAS THE MOST INAPPR0PRIATE THING ANY PARROT HAS EVER DONE TO ME...

And all this took place right in front of his mate... the dirty cheater!

And I thought conures were supposed to be pair bond birds!

Yep! True story...

Kinda makes you want to make sure he has a little rope toy to play with, doesn't it?! "That's okay. I'll come back when you're finished. I don't need to pick you up right now!"

Ha ha this is HILARIOUS! I cant stop laughing....I dont want Mr Biggles reading this post in case he gets ideas LoL I will be laughing about this for a week even longer hee hee :smile002::smile002::smile002:

 

[BIRDIGIRL]

Okay, we're all bird people here, right? I guess I'll chime in with my ribald Rickeybird story. I am the object of his desires... although I can't imagine a less attractive hen... no feathers, big as a hat-tree, and the drabbest pink color imagination. But I digress. He reached sexual maturity at about 3 (some 29 years ago) and over time, we've evolved a little understanding (kinda like my ol'man). Around June of every year, the Rickeybird starts hurling up little chunks for me (fortunately, he keeps them to himself). He gets even louder and more demanding than usual, and he looks for opportunities to scramble up my arm, behind and underneath my hair, and there at the nape of my neck, I can feel him muttering sweet nothings as he rubs his belly on my hairline for about 5-10 seconds and he's done. Oh Heck YES I shower afterwards! And we'll have NO SPECULATION about similarities to my human lovelife. Anyway, he'll try to get away with this several times a week through August, roughly, and then I lose my charm until next year. I feel like I need a shower NOW, in fact, after confessing my extramarital affair.

Ha Ha Ha Ha I have so enjoyed your confession LoL..
Its bedtime in Ireland and I am laughing so much reading this thread that I will never get to sleep tonight from all the laughter Hee hee Im so glad Mr Biggles is in bed for all these posts and not getting any ideas from them LoL

 

[GaleriaGila]

Leah... this thread was GENIUS!
You have led us into the light!

 

[saracuse]

I just found this thread. Oh. My. Gosh. I'm cracking up at work reading this on my lunchbreak. !!