Kinny
New member
My Mother-in-law called me last night and she started talking about our newborns name we chose.... we get along for the most part. I tolerate her opinions and 'advice', but she is very opinionated and she doesn't just state her opinion.. She tells me/her children/ just about everyone what to do and how to do it, and she's always right.
Here is an amusing example of what happened many months ago:
HER: Cockatiels are the best pet birds for everyone. You should breed THEM.
ME: Cockatiels are lovely little birds i agree! But i prefer my Conures. Conures tend to be a bit more challenging but I prefer that.. Well 'I' prefer Conures.
HER: No. Cockatiels are better.
Mind you shes only ever been around 1 bird in her entire life, a very sweet Cockatiel.
is a letter i just wrote to her, does it come across harsh or is it ok?
"Dear '**' (Mum),
I've been very tolerant lately of the things you have said, and I understand that you are going through a hard time at the moment with your menopause. I am sorry for my comment the other day regarding your menopause and pregnancy (I'm sure you remember), I wasn't thinking.
You have done so much for us and we are very appreciative. However there are some things I personally will not tolerate any longer.
I am very very happy that Chad is a boy and I love him with all that I am just the way he is. His name is and will remain ** 'Chad' ** ** . It is 'him' and I must admit, as odd a name as it is it suits him.
I am very glad we didn't have a girl, because I am no longer fond of the name Belaraine and therefor I would have been under far too much pressure to name her that. I quite like it however as a name for a hand-raised female Eclectus.
Yes I do want ** in his name, but it's not needed. He will always be a Suasua to me, and I can just make him Suar toys etc.
I am not ashamed of his name. Chad may be blunt but it suits him, and in all honesty I actually like it, I'm just not 'over the moon' about it.
I have no doubt he will get teased, as will the other 2. Teasing occurs everywhere to everyone for everything. It's our job and responsibility as parents to prepare them to be able to deal with all the nastiness of the the world. And we will do all we can to the best of our ability to prepare our kids to one day venture out into the world and know how to cope.
Many people in this world are incredibly self-centred, proud and egotistical. Why on earth would I rename my son to avoid the harshness of such people? Why should I worry what others may think? No matter what his name would be, there will always be people to make fun of him and bully.
I will not be forced to go against our wishes as a family because of a fear of bullying/teasing. That would be so selfish of me.. to change his name purely because others may tease him for it only because it is different. I will not live in fear of others thoughts.
(God) wishes our son to have this name, (husband) wishes it, and now so do I.
In my opinion to disrespect a childs name is a form of bullying done behind their back. ** 'Chad' ** ** is his name. If you don't like it that is not my problem, it is yours.
From now on I will not tolerate 'opinions' of this sort. You may state your opinion, but to tell a Mother what to name and/or what not to name her child who has already been named, is in my view very disrespectful, mostly to the child themselves.
I request that you not tell me (or husband) what we should and shouldn't call our son. Nor do I wish to hear our child's name being put down because you may be embarrassed by it.
I apologise if i have offended you or caused you harm of any sort. I must however stand up for our children in every way, shape and form.
-with love, Liana"
Here is an amusing example of what happened many months ago:
HER: Cockatiels are the best pet birds for everyone. You should breed THEM.
ME: Cockatiels are lovely little birds i agree! But i prefer my Conures. Conures tend to be a bit more challenging but I prefer that.. Well 'I' prefer Conures.
HER: No. Cockatiels are better.
Mind you shes only ever been around 1 bird in her entire life, a very sweet Cockatiel.
is a letter i just wrote to her, does it come across harsh or is it ok?
"Dear '**' (Mum),
I've been very tolerant lately of the things you have said, and I understand that you are going through a hard time at the moment with your menopause. I am sorry for my comment the other day regarding your menopause and pregnancy (I'm sure you remember), I wasn't thinking.
You have done so much for us and we are very appreciative. However there are some things I personally will not tolerate any longer.
I am very very happy that Chad is a boy and I love him with all that I am just the way he is. His name is and will remain ** 'Chad' ** ** . It is 'him' and I must admit, as odd a name as it is it suits him.
I am very glad we didn't have a girl, because I am no longer fond of the name Belaraine and therefor I would have been under far too much pressure to name her that. I quite like it however as a name for a hand-raised female Eclectus.
Yes I do want ** in his name, but it's not needed. He will always be a Suasua to me, and I can just make him Suar toys etc.
I am not ashamed of his name. Chad may be blunt but it suits him, and in all honesty I actually like it, I'm just not 'over the moon' about it.
I have no doubt he will get teased, as will the other 2. Teasing occurs everywhere to everyone for everything. It's our job and responsibility as parents to prepare them to be able to deal with all the nastiness of the the world. And we will do all we can to the best of our ability to prepare our kids to one day venture out into the world and know how to cope.
Many people in this world are incredibly self-centred, proud and egotistical. Why on earth would I rename my son to avoid the harshness of such people? Why should I worry what others may think? No matter what his name would be, there will always be people to make fun of him and bully.
I will not be forced to go against our wishes as a family because of a fear of bullying/teasing. That would be so selfish of me.. to change his name purely because others may tease him for it only because it is different. I will not live in fear of others thoughts.
(God) wishes our son to have this name, (husband) wishes it, and now so do I.
In my opinion to disrespect a childs name is a form of bullying done behind their back. ** 'Chad' ** ** is his name. If you don't like it that is not my problem, it is yours.
From now on I will not tolerate 'opinions' of this sort. You may state your opinion, but to tell a Mother what to name and/or what not to name her child who has already been named, is in my view very disrespectful, mostly to the child themselves.
I request that you not tell me (or husband) what we should and shouldn't call our son. Nor do I wish to hear our child's name being put down because you may be embarrassed by it.
I apologise if i have offended you or caused you harm of any sort. I must however stand up for our children in every way, shape and form.
-with love, Liana"