My dear dear Finley is being re-homed to an avian refuge due to neurological issues

[Sunnyclover]

After weeks of debating and wrestling with my with my thoughts it is with a heavy heart I tell you all some bittersweet news about my dear Finley.

This is the short version:

As some of you may know he has been a handful ever since the day we took him home with us. As we later found out he was likely force weaned or we were told he was much older then he was or both. Hours after we brought him home he could barely perch and all he did was do that "feed me" baby cry which (thanks to you all) I recognized immediately. I posted on the forums and I believe it was Sailboat who told me to stop what I was doing and go get baby bird formula and a syringe as soon as possible at the pet store nearest to me. Well it was 9pm and they were closed but I woke up as early as possible and checked on Finley and he was not in good shape to I rushed to the CAV hoping they would just let me in and luckily they did. She said he was nearly starved, even though he didn't look like he was skinny or not the right weight but baby birds can die from even not having food for a couple of days and not look like they are on death's door and that is why force weaning is so dangerous. So I took my little green and black baby home and fed him 3 times a day for a month and he slowly weaned himself off the formula.
It seems like then he had gotten a sinus infection and had to be put on medication for it for 2 weeks and after that he hurt his foot and was limping around. He was still so timid and never really resisted anything and was weak but not so weak that it was terribly worry some and the vet had seen him about 4 times at that point.
Then he gained strength and that is when the biting began. He would all of a sudden act terrified of me (or my husband but mostly me because I am the main care taker) and bite me out of the blue from what seemed like some kind of defense. It reminded me of something a bird who has suffered longtime abuse would do but he has only ever had one owner (me) and I would never dream of hurting the poor little baby. Everytime he bites he does this ear curdling shriek of fear that shocks me every time and it truly sounds like he thinks his life is ending or something. It just makes me very very sad. I tried everything to break the biting: putting him on the floor, saying "no bite and touching his beak, just putting him down on where ever we were and turning my back to him, and ignoring it. Nothing seemed to work and he would always look at me like"why are you doing this mommy I didn't do anything" and he looked so sad like he thought I was abandoning him. I was sure he didn't understand any of it.
Time goes on and he seems more and more scared of me but it's so sudden because he loves to cuddle and be on my shoulder and roll on his back and play as you may see in my videos and pictures of him. He clearly is bonded to me and has a huge amount of trust in me but for some reason he would just act like he didn't know me and bite and become frantic, flapping about and sometimes hurting himself. It reminded me of night frights but during the day. Yet minutes or even seconds later he would step up like everything was fine and ask for head scratched and fly from the big tree to me and act like nothing has happened.
I just thought that was so strange, something just wasn't adding up. Also, at this point he had been having episodes like this a few times a week or so. I decided to take him to the vet for the 6th time in the few months I had had him to ask her some questions. HSe said it's possible that he couldn't hear or see quite properly or something but not to worry about it unless it gets worse.
Another month goes by and he keeps getting worse and worse. These episodes of fear last longer and he is having them several times a day and still when he bites he does that gut wrenching shriek of fear. But then as always he will act like nothing has happened and step up and get cuddles and loves and is clearly not scared of me but then all of a sudden he will bite me hard, hard enough to bruise me and break skin. It's hard to tell which bird I am going to get with each interaction I have with him, will it be a happy, sweet, cuddling bird? or will it be a bird who thinks I am a predator about to end his life and he needs to defended himself or freak out? I never know who will greet me.
Okay so now we are at he 2 week ago mark. At this point I have checked all the obvious things. Such as: Is it a perfume I am wearing (no I don't wear any), Shampoo? (no I switched and switched and then bought an unscented one), is it a color I am wearing? (no), is it a certain way I am moving? (nope), is it a place in the house that this always happens or happened more often? (no), is it a food I am feeding him? (nope I changed all of that and tested his food intake), is it a toy in his cage he might be scared of or something? (nope) is it Ollie (no he likes Ollie still) Is this happening when my husband is home? or if my husband isn't home? (doesn't seem to matter). This is just a small sample of the things I has tried/thought about could be causing his behavior and changing them did not work.
Next step is that I thought "okay maybe he has decided hands are the enemy...sometimes." I started having him step up onto a perch. That was working for about 2 days and I thought he was getting much much better but he soon because fearful of the perch in the same exact way but unlike with my hands he would actually only have to see the perch and start to freak out and go frantic or if I did manage to step up onto the perch he would suddenly out of no where bite the perch and do his shriek of fear and he seemed even more terrified of it then he does of my hands. I decided that the perch was making his quality of life considerably worse so i stopped using it and decided to take one for the team and get bit half the time because at least half the time he will step up with no issues and he is happy and wants to give kisses.

 

[Sunnyclover]

One morning, I woke up and got tried to get him out of his sleep cage to go downstairs for his morning poop and he flew out of his cage in a frantic freak out and flew all over the bedroom hitting his wings on the walls and everything in the room, pooping all over and flying in and out of his poop and I tried to catch him so he would stop hurting himself but he wouldn't let me but he finally was so tired he lay on the floor on his back as a last ditch defense effort (I guess). I picked his little body up, covered in poop and cradled him and pet him and cried. I knew he was alive but I was so worried he hurt a wing or something. I took a few minutes with him and then I took him in the shower and rinsed him off and he stood up and looked up at me with those big eyes as if to ask "what just happened to me Mommy?". It was so sad. I called the vet right away and told her what had happened and she got me in right away. I told her to run every single test and do everything she could to figure out what is wrong with him because he had gotten so much worse. She checked his hearing, vision, checked for diseases and I even sent her some camera footage of Finley and what goes on in our house (we have cameras in parts of the inside of our house). I now had to await the results of all the tests and what she thought of his behavior which I described in detail. I even told her all the mistakes I thought that I had made and all the times maybe I thought it could be my fault, I disclosed every detail i could think of.
While waiting for the results Finley had made the morning cage freakout a ritual and flies around frantically but now I know it's coming and I can try to avoid it by trying to get him to step up and then I hold him to my chest and rush downstairs as he bites me time after time and poops his giant morning poop on me but I don't care, at least he isn't hurting himself. Sometimes I can't get him in time and he freaks out anyways and hit his wings on things and does it until he is too tired to move but he doesn't go on his back like the 1st time he did it.
The vet finally calls back and tells me she would like to meet me in the office to talk about Finley. I am scared. I go there and she tells me that 1st of all other than a few bruises to the wings and a little bit of a sore foot he is fine physically. That was a load off. She then began to tell me that she believes Finley has a neurological issue likely caused by lack of nutrients to the brain from that unknown time frame he went without food at the pet shop while he was likely being force weaned and then sold too soon. Either that or some kind of brain tumor or something like that, it's nearly impossible to detect either one of these conditions other than by behavior. She said his behavior definitely indicates one of these issues or the other because there isn't any real cause and effect to his acting out in fear. If he was acting in aggression that could be something else possibly (depends) but the fact it's a fear response is a factor here. Also she knows Ollie and how well behaved and trained he is and how much he clearly loves me and she said that it's not anything I did to Finley but this was likely something that couldn't be helped. I was so sad I cried my eyes out in the vet's office. I asked her what I should do because he clearly is not doing well at our house but I don't want to have another family adopt him because that would be a total tragedy and not fair to him or me or them. She told me that "birds like this" often do well in a bird sanctuary where they can be an aviary bird and that she thought that would be the best place for him. SHe did say that I could keep him and put him on Birdie Prozac but it likely wouldn't help him much and even if it did that he's have to go off of it in 6 months because it's not a long term solution which would just prolong things. Vet said that she thinks Finley's quality of life at our house isn't very good because of his condition and that I should try my hardest to find some place for him but that if I didn't I could keep him and try the meds but it might end in heartache one day. Of course I am sobbing this whole time. I pay my bill and pack up my little green and black bird in his carrier and go home and cry some more. I decided instead of crying more I would double my efforts and find a placement for Finley.
It didn't take me long to find a no kill/no adopt bird sanctuary an hour away from my house. I already told myself that they are probably full and probably won't accept him because they probably wouldn't. I call and the lady answers and I tell her the short version of this story. She says "yep I will take him and you sound like you really love this bird and birds in general, would you like to volunteer here so you can see him anytime you want?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was like a dream come true! I can see my baby and work with birds...wow that's amazing! Omg a weight was lifted off my heart. Now there is a catch, since this is a no kill/no adopt facility you have to pay a yearly rate for the rest of your birds life of $1500. I called my husband and he said he would be thrilled to do that (I am so lucky) and it's technically a donation so you get tax benefits. For those of you wondering the sanctuary is called Under My Wing Avian Refuge. The lady said he will be able to fly free and possibly have a mate and get to be around other birds and I think he will be really happy there.

We take him there tomorrow and even though I think it's the best decision for him I am still really really really distraught about it. I go back and fourth if I should really give him up or not but I know in my heart of hearts that this is better for him and that I am not (unlike most people) really giving him up fully because I get to visit him and I can bring him his favorite treats and toys whenever I want and because of him I will get to volunteer at a wonderful place and learn even more about birds and I will be able to help many more people on these forums because of him.

So please, those of you who read this whole story please give me words of encouragement and not words of criticism right now. I am having a very very very very hard time with this whole thing. I have PM some of you and told you already and I know those of you who I told were very supportive and I thank you for that. Thank you to all who helped me with Finley and who gave me advise over these months that I have been struggling with him. You all helped a lot. Now I just have to get through tomorrow and then the next day and the next day....

 

[Inger]

Desi, as you know I’m heartbroken for you and Finley, but you have certainly tried everything you could think of to help him have a normal life with you. The sanctuary sounds like such a wonderful option for both of you! I know most of us here feel very strongly about not rehoming birds, but that’s not really what you’re doing. He will go to the sanctuary and he’s guaranteed to be there for life, unlike “craigslisting” him where he would be bound to have several more families and/or wind up cagebound in the basement.

I wish I could say something to help your heart, but there is nothing. I’m always here if you need an ear.

[emoji174]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[EllenD]

Awe, Sunny, I'm so sorry you have to make this decision, but you are doing what you yourself know is best for Finley...No one can make that decision for you, you are the one who knows Finley and his issues, and if you are sure that this is what is right for both Finley and you, then I commend you for putting your feelings on the back-burner and rather doing what is best for Finley...It's not at all an easy thing to be able to do with a pet you love, and most people wouldn't be able to put their bird's needs first, so you're a special kind of parront!

 

[ChristaNL]

So sorry but... criticism coming up!


Stop berating or second guessing yourself!
You did your utmost for this bird - and even more: you committed not only to keep helping and supporting him for the rest of his life, you also are going to give even more of yourself and your time etc. to other birds in need.
So there- you are a good person, did your best and decided that is not enough?
You lovely, loverly, nutty person you!!


BIG HUGS!!!

 

[wrench13]

If he was an Amazon I would say nope just start ove like he is a new parrot in you house . I dont know if that works with Conues. Best of luck to FInley.

 

[reeb]

I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this has been for you. My heart dropped when I read the title of the thread, because I have followed your journey with Finley since you got him. I'm sure this must have been a very emotional and intense time, and know that support is here for you.

I hope that Finley will find happiness in his new home. He is young, and you know that he will be in a safe place for the rest of his life, even if it takes a little bit for him to adjust. Even though his time with you was brief, you gave him a wonderful home and so much love.

Thank you for being so open and sharing this with the community. Goodbyes can be hard, but they can be a little easier with friends by your side.

I send all my love and support, all the way from the other side of the world!

Stay strong.

 

[GaleriaGila]

I am almost speechless. Desi, I wish you peace of heart. Fin, I join your former parront in wishing you the very, very, very best of luck.

 

[YUMgrinder]

Oh my. I bet my nanday cheddar would love a cagemate. She's got a giant cage all to herself and I feel bad cause her only friend, jazz my tiel, just got a mate and I wish for them to be cagemates. It sounds really weird but I got my nanday from the store because they couldn't get her to eat and he was half his normal weight. She was a baby then and they basically gave her to me and she slowly returned to her normal weight. But I swear she has something wrong neurologically for the same reason. Anyways if you want to talk pls pm me

 

[Rival_of_the_Rickeybird]

Geez Grinder you're already a hero in our house, just by offering.

 

[YUMgrinder]

I have been following Finley since he's so much like cheddar, and if I can help I would like to. But I don't want to come across as someone trying to get a free bird. I just always take in birds and I'll probably always do it. I've been especially Keen to disabled ones. Whatever is best for finley for sure 100% if he would do better in the arrangement made, I'm all for it, but if individual care is necessary, my gf and I would gladly take him in.

 

[Tami2]

I’m so sorry for you all. It is a heartbreaking story indeed.
May you all find peace and happiness in this new chapter for Finley.
It’s wonderful that you’ve found the perfect placement for him, and so quickly. I believe it was meant to be. Even though you can’t meet all of his neurological needs and keep him safe, you can still be in his life. The best of both worlds. You’ll always be his mommy and you’ll still be sharing special moments and making memories when you are volunteering. As devastating as it is right now, with time, as you see he is having a good quality of life you’ll feel better as well.

I hope you still continue to post photos and videos of him in his new home. I know I am interested in his progress.

Best of luck to you all & especially Finny. :heart:

 

[Skittys_Daddy]

My heart is heavy too, and you are both in my thoughts.


I don't think rehoming when it is for the birds best interest is every a bad thing. It's actually one of the most selfless things a parront can do.


So as hard as this is for you, its hopefully going to better in the long run for the both of you.

 

[Aratingettar]

Sorry to say but I'm not 100% convinced about the sanctuary. I just can't imagine they can give all the care and attention an individual bird needs, to all their birds. Of course they could provide the foods and healthcare, just due to the nature of such place (many birds in a single place) I'm not sure they can meet all the Parrot's needs.


I believe that a truly loving caretaker is the best that can happen to a bird, and I feel you should consider Yumgrinder's adoption offer. Maybe a Nanday mate there will be the turning point for Finley. I know it might be a hard decision, since you feel you'll still be visiting Finley once in the sanctuary. But the reality is... it's a hour drive away. Fin have (hopefully) 30 years before him, how often will you be able to visit him? Keep in mind that the time devoted to Finley and other sanctuary birds will be the time not given to Ollie.

Please all keep in mind that it's my personal opinion, but I needed to share it with you.

 

[Scott]

Perhaps you have re-homed Finley by now, and if so I wish him the very best. Not an easy decision, and I hope you are at peace.

I've experienced several birds with seemingly intractable behavioral issues. Perhaps a veterinary second opinion might have recommended the use of a medium-term (6 weeks) psychotropic med such as Prozac. I did this with an older untamed B&G undergoing therapy for a prolapsed vent. Could not previously closely handle her, but a few doses eased her fears and she would cuddle for a long while. This allowed medicinal dosing several times daily and inspection of her surgical sutures. I spent some time attempting behavioral modification exercises (bonding/building trust tools) and she remained receptive long after her Haldol* therapy ended. She ultimately passed about 2 years later from cancer, but I will always treasure the choice to better bond with this beautiful girl.

*Haldol = Haloperidol, a med largely replaced with newer therapies. Posted experience was ~15 years ago, not sure what is currently prescribed for parrots.

 

[Sunnyclover]

To those of you who showed your support for Finley and I, it is much appriciated. Thank you so much, you have eased my mind and heart a great deal. This has been a heartbreaking process but when your CAV recommends something that she believes is better for the bird you have to listen as hard as it may be. I know it is better for the bird and not better for me but I am trying not to think of myself but of Finley.

@Wrench13 You had actually given me the advise months back to start over with Finley and act like he was a new bird. I did this more than once because I think you're a great parront and I respect you a great deal. Unfortunately, Finley did not respond to this form of training because he isn't (in his lucid moments) actually scared of me or showing any kind of response to me other than his trust in me. I would understand that if he were a bird who suddenly became scared of me or became aggressive towards me that would be exactly how to go about things but sadly with him it did not work, not even a little. I even started from total scratch and left him alone for a few days like I had just got him and then taught him to step up and gave him a treat every time he stepped up like a good boy and ect ect but treat or not, whatever it is that neurologically is wrong with him would suddenly hit him and sometimes if I had just given him a treat he would drop it and freak out and fly all over banging his little body all over whatever was in that room and hurting himself.
I am not sure if you guys know this but Finley has hurt a lot of his body parts though the months but it's never been broken yet. He hurts his little legs and feet, wings and he breaks feathers in his tail and even scrapped feathers off his head in a frantic state. He used to have these episodes every so often making it manageable but when it became a daily occurance is when my Vet stepped in and said that he is in real danger of hurting himself permanently because the last time he hurt his foot really really bad and would continue to have these episodes and injure it worse the next time.
At the Avian Refuge he will be in a room with other birds and he can choose a mate if he wishes and he will be able to fly in a very very large room that is bird safe and even if he has a freak out the worse that can happen is he will fall to the floor and there is nothing for him to bang himself on or get under to injure himself. Finley loves other birds and unfortunately, Ollie just never really took a shining to him which is sad but true. Most of all Finley loved going outside on the deck and listening to the other birds and would seem much more calm while out there like he was just so happy. I KNOW he will be happy with the other birds and I am hoping his issues will not be so apparent if he gets to be more free. I think with Finley he has issues but he also just didn't like being a captive domesticated bird on top of that unlike Ollie who seems to love everything about it as far as I can tell. But more importantly I rehomed him for his own safety.

@YUMgrinder You are kind for offering to take Finley but my CAV and I decided that he should not be rehomed to another family. That is the last thing he needs and in fact if I hadn't found the perfect situation for him to be rehomed to I would definitely keep him myself. In fact I was 100% dedicated to his care and not willing to give him up at all until my Vet said that it was in his best interest to try to see of there was such a place for him. May I remind you that I am still 100% dedicated to his care and if he is not doing better at the Avian Refuge I will ask her to take him back into my care. I want everyone to understand it's not that I didn't want him anymore or that I thought he was too much work or that I didn't have time for him, it's that he could be able to benefit from a different situation other than a "home" like environment. This is why I would not rehome him to someone else's home, that would defeat the purpose of this whole thing.

For those who don't agree with this decision: It was not a decision I made lightly and it was not easy for me. i didn't want Finley to go and I have been crying my eyes out ever since he left yesterday but it's not about me and how sad this makes me, it's about him. And remember to those who disagree, you weren't there with us. You don't know how scary it was and how sad it was and how worried I was every day that he broke one of his wings or his feet. You weren't the ones who picked your poop covered bird off the floor and didn't know what happened or why he did any of this. You weren't the ones watching him suffer for months acting scared of me one second and ready for pets and loves the next. I didn't mind all the bites and all of that, it wasn't that. It was all of it, he wasn't happy. And he did not have a cause and effect to his actions which is what makes him so unpredictable biting wise and safety wise. Lots of people would just cage a bird like him and that would have fixed it but I couldn't do that...I couldn't even do it for a day.He had the highest level of care at my house I tried with all I had and if he comes home one day I will continue to give him my all. I love him and I won't forget about him. Yes time my go on and I may visit him less but that doesn't mean he isn't loved. And yes I do understand that volunteering at the avian refuge will take time away from Ollie and any other bird I may have in the future but I will not let it happen to the point where I let it hurt the birds in my actual care. In fact if it came to that there are plenty of things I can do from home like making toys from the donations of toy pieces that the lady who runs the refuge gets but she doesn't have time to make them. She said she has to make 100 at a time and give everyone a toy or they get mad and she doesn't have a lot of time so I think that would be a really good thing to do from home. I do have to get a current test of Ollie for infectious diseases 1st before I can bring the toy parts home but I look forward to doing that and then bringing them there and spending time with Fin.

I hope this post helped everyone to understand a little more about our situation. Please continue to be kind and to Ollie, my husband and I as we are all hurting right now.

In fact I am thinking of taking a break from the forums because I don't feel worthy of giving anyone advise right now nor do i feel like posting happy things on my story thread about Ollie and Finley, it's just all really sad and I know some of you probably think I am awful even with all the explanations and reasons for giving him up. I have a parrot sized hole in my heart and I am not sure what on earth to do about it.

I will probably post a tribute to Finley when I feel up to it. I am going to visit him this weekend so hopefully that goes well.

Sincerely from the bottom of my heart thank you everyone.

 

[Aratingettar]

I apologize if I sounded rude, probably I did not understood the situation fully - maybe because you've focused on the good side of everything in your posts. All can I say now, is I hope the new environment will be good for Finley. I'm sure you're 110% commited to him, and that you did your best to support him.

 

[YUMgrinder]

Yes, take care of yourself and I wish the best of luck to Finley. I did not mean to cause any further drama. Your decision sounds to be best and you can see him anytime you want. I've had to leave the forum for awhile as I struggled from time to time. Don't stay away too long!

 

[EllenD]

Sunny, I'm sorry you're hurting right now, I've been there, and as I already said, no one knows your situation but you. I think everyone here meant well, they wanted to help Finley but they also wanted to help you, in the sense that they didn't want you to have to give him up...sometimes it's extremely difficult to take a step-back and look at something from someone else's point of view...In situation's like this one, no one could really see what was going on with Finley, and everyone just wanted you and your bird to be happy...But I don't think anyone here thinks badly of you for what you did, just sad and disappointed for you...

What I hope you don't continue to feel is "unworthy" of giving bird advice, as this was in no way your fault, you were handed a horrible situation that was created most-likely by Finley's breeder. I can't tell you how many issues I've seen "Forced-Weaning" a baby bird cause, as well as the breeders that actually don't "wean" their babies at all. The minute they see their babies eating any pellets or seeds at all they sell them as being "fully weaned", and this is what happens. It's about making a higher profit and getting rid of the current babies to make room for new ones...It's terrible, and unfortunately it's not something that is going to end any time soon, nor is it something that is at-all easy to detect when you go to meet a baby bird. So this has nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do, and has no bearing whatsoever on your knowledge and experience raising, owning, and caring for birds. You have nothing you have to prove to anyone in this community...not at all.

We're here for you, and I hope you don't take too long a break, as you'd be missed.

 

[Skittys_Daddy]

Sunny, it sounds to me like you've put a lot of thought into this. I like the idea that you are going to remain invested in his care and if he doesn't improve, take him back. It seems to me that you are doing this because you think maybe an alternate environment might relieve some of his issues.


I'm trying to remain unbiased here because I am not in your shoes nor totally aware of your situation (only you are) and we are only aware of what we read. But it's obviously not a case of "immature bird owner making stupid decisions" type of rehoming.



I honestly don't know what I'd do if I ever had health issues with Skittles. I know when I first got him, he had a lot of 'twitches' and the vet was concerned about seizures so she did a full blood panel which was normal. Turns out the 'twitches' were actually just signs of "contentment".


Anyways, I hope everything works out for the best and most importantly I hope that Finley's quality of life improves.