My Too dont like me

[Dopey]

There is another question I have, she was sitting in her cage yesterday and Duke was on top playing and she started smacking her beak on the cage bars, is that "normal?" Thank you again to everyone, this forum is great!!!

Well, my birds don't do this but it might be normal for her.

 

[Hawk]

Thank you everyone! Lots of great advice. I think I made a little tiny head way with her last night. When I put them to bed, I tell them nite nite and Duchess always says nite nite and Duke says nite nite baby. Last night Duchess kissed my hand then said nite nite! I have also found that she likes apples but they have to be cut into small pieces with the skin and she peels the skin off before she eats it. This morning she even let me pet her from the front and she made a small coo sound. She still wont let me pet Duke if hes sitting right beside her. The small step she took last night definitely gave me great hope! There is another question I have, she was sitting in her cage yesterday and Duke was on top playing and she started smacking her beak on the cage bars, is that "normal?" Thank you again to everyone, this forum is great!!!

Depends.....Are they brought up together? Are they caged together, which I normally do not recommend, because parrots like their privacy, even from other birds. If the above is no, then they shouldn't play on one anothers cage till you absolutely are sure they won't hurt each other. My Grey and One of my amazons play nice together, but I never let them play alone with out me there. You Never know when one is having a " Leave me alone day"....My Senni is absolutely a Terrorist....will hurt the others if they get too close. Mean little sausage he is.

 

[Hawk]

Finally got a pic of them on here. I made it my avatar, haven't figured out how to add it here.

Awww absolutely adorable little guys...or gals.....They enjoy being by one another I see.

 

[stcymcintyre]

Yes they do share the same cage. They have been together since the day they brought him home. She is protective of him and he just kinda goes about his day without a care in the world. They actually have a "conversation" between the two of them after I cover them and sometimes they even end it with both of them telling each other nite nite. Its adorable!

 

[Dopey]

That is so sweet. She will come around. In a few months it will be so much fun. Get their harnesses and get them harness trained. My friend takes hers for a walk every evening...without harnesses...but the neighborhood loves it.

 

[punkindave]

As others have said, Patience!! It took almost a year for Butchie to fully settle in and he still has an occasional bad day
You might also try bolting a perch to the cage door, he can go to the perch when he wants to come out and you just swing it open. It avoids the awkward bending into a cage and infringing on his space!

 

[stcymcintyre]

Duchess wont even consider stepping up on me, she climbs on my daughter all the time. Duke is a little reluctant to get on me and they do not know the step up command. Duchess does three tricks on command and that is shake hands, bob (bobs her head) and dance. Duke don't do any tricks. I cant wait to get to the point that I can teach them tricks...eventually. Not going to push them. I must say that I am just so glad that I found this forum, you guys are awesome!

 

[stcymcintyre]

Oh! Today was their shower day but I couldnt get either of them to come to me so I could take them to the shower and they both hate a mist bottle. How long can they go without a shower? Any ideas how I can convince them to come with me to take a shower?

 

[4dugnlee]

They are beautiful! I'm sure Duchess will come around...it just takes some longer than others to trust.

 

[Allee]

They are sooo sweet sitting together like that! Beautiful Toos!

A shower is a big scary event for a lot of birds, especially if they aren't accustomed to it. Do you know how they were given showers in their previous home? Frequent baths helps feather condition and with cockatoos it helps keep the dust to a minimum. Poppy gets a bath every other day. Another thing I've found with re-homes, some people use a mist bottle as a form of punishment, if that's the case, you'll know if the sight of the bottle terrifies them. If possible, let them see the water running and let them decide when to get wet. A lot of Toos love playing in water, but most parrots have their own preference when it comes to bathing.

 

[stcymcintyre]

They gave showers once a week. They put the toos in the shower with them. She said one of them liked it and the other one didn't care for it but he tolerated it. Duchess won't even come to me, let alone let me take her for a shower. She does however love my daughter, who is 12 and as big as I am, and my daughter is very good with her. I just don't know about letting my kid take a shower with duchess. They need a shower, they both have alot of powder. I just don't know what to do. I tried to upload a pic of Duchess giving and getting love from her favorite human in the house.

 

[Hawk]

They are sooo sweet sitting together like that! Beautiful Toos!

A shower is a big scary event for a lot of birds, especially if they aren't accustomed to it. Do you know how they were given showers in their previous home? Frequent baths helps feather condition and with cockatoos it helps keep the dust to a minimum. Poppy gets a bath every other day. Another thing I've found with re-homes, some people use a mist bottle as a form of punishment, if that's the case, you'll know if the sight of the bottle terrifies them. If possible, let them see the water running and let them decide when to get wet. A lot of Toos love playing in water, but most parrots have their own preference when it comes to bathing.

I have a shower perch and My Zons love it, So I shower with my bird...act like part of the flock and they get crazy and sing.

 

[strudel]

I just don't know what to do.

Your confidence has been shaken by her initial reticence with you and now you probably send out those "vibes" (I don't know what to do, I bet you aren't going to do this, oh PLEEZE don't turn away/bite/whatever, I know you hate me but just let me, PLEEZE).

Try to anticipate success and approach with an air of assertiveness (but not bossiness, just an "it's all good, I'm fetching you, you're coming, and we're going to do this" confidence).

Try to figure out what it is about your daughter that "works". Does she just march up and go "let's play!!" without tension or concern? Is she hesitant or worried when she asks Duchess to come?

Try to relax and think that it's not going to be a big deal. Don't approach with the intent of giving them a shower, just to come for a game/come out. When they are out, you can take them to the bathroom. Don't get anxious and anticipate rejection and don't think you need to convince anyone of anything. Just relax. If you relax, they might relax too.

(I know this sounds airy-fairy, but it really works)

EDIT: as for letting her go in with your daughter, if your daughter's confident and happy about it, I'd give it a go.

 

[Delfin]

I agree with strudel in that you're putting out vibes that show you are "uncertain/scare/ submissive" while your daughter is putting out vibes "hey do you want to come out and sit with me and if you want, we can play" that's why Duchess has chosen her has the friend is in the household. You need to get yourself in to the right mindset. be relaxed, calm and confidence, move slowly around her. Talk to her quietly and in a reassuring tone. limit your interactions to hands off until she approaches you.

I would use your daughter's relationship to your advantage so that you can change Duchess's diet. Get your daughter to eat veggies and fruit in front of Duchess and whilst eating them, offer small pieces to Duchess. If Duchess and Duke need a shower and they have been taking showers with the previous owners then they are accustom to being showered. At least let Duchess shower with your daughter with Duke in the bathroom too. So he can make up his mind to have a shower too.

Birds on an all seed diet are unhealthy and grumpy and their life span can be reduced by up to 50%. Duchess is 8 and Duke is 4 This means that they are still young. Here in Australia we had a Cockatoo named Fred, who was 100 years old in 2014 and was still alive, another who was 76 in the late 1990s. So you have plenty of time to bond and build trust.

MUSIC yes music, Cockatoos have the ability to dance to music. They are one of the few species of bird that can synchronise body movements to the beat of music and they enjoy it. music calms the savage beast..... Bird.

 

[strudel]

music calms the savage beast..... Bird.

Also, it can help relax us. If you are singing along to [name favourite singer] you aren't anticipating rejection or tensing up, or looking worried or any of the things that might be convincing the animal that there's a reason to be worried and tense or that you are scary.

 

[stcymcintyre]

Today she is like a whole new girl as am I. Last night I took their food out of the cage when I put them to bed. This morning, before they were ready to get up, I was sitting here thinking about it and it brought me to tears. Thats when I decided to let go of my fear and that I am going to win her over. After a good cry, I pulled myself together and they were ready to get up. After I greeted them and opened the cage, I told her that I love her and its time that we move past all this silliness, that I am not going to hurt her and I expect the same in return. I made them some eggs, Duke loved them, Duchess didnt want anything to do with them so I gave her a slice of apple. After they ate that she came out of her cage and reached for me to pet her. All day since then she has welcomed me to give her love and she even danced for me when I had been out of the room for a few minutes and came back in, just like she does when my daughter comes in the room! Right now shes sitting in her cage talking to me. She says "hi pretty girl". From this day on our bond will only grow. Thank you all for the advice and the confidence that I can do this.