Running out of patience

[HalfInsane]

First and foremost, I need to make this clear: I do not like cats. I am not a cat person, sorry to those of you who are. They're cute, I guess, but quite frankly I've always found them very annoying.

My roommate has a cat. I'm okay with her having this cat; I knew the cat would be here when we agreed to rent out a house together. No, I'm not said cats biggest fan, but I tolerate her.

Recently, my roommate told me that her one friend's mother had foreclosed on their house. She (the daughter) had to move in to her step-dads apartment where they were not allowed to have cats. At the time she said it would only be temporary, and she planned to move out right away to a location where she could have the cat. I VERY reluctantly agreed on the condition the cat would only be here a few weeks, that he could stay with us.

Well fast forward to now, two months from then. She's made zero effort to find a place to move out, clearly has no intent to, but insists we hang out to her cat because she "loves him so much". I've already made it clear I don't like cats, and this particular one, being a long hair, sheds a TON. I am the only one who cleans up the hairy armageddon this incessantly shedding furball leaves in his wake. If not for me, the house would be coated. He also opens cupboards and closets, chews up plastic bags, chews up toilet paper and paper towel, constantly rolls around on the counter and just... urgh. I know he's a cat and he's just being a cat, but I do not want him here. I never did. I didn't want a cat and now he's become my problem because neither of my roommates can be bothered to clean up his mess.

I've given this girl a deadline. She had until the end of May to take her cat back, or I'll find him a home. None of us care to clean up after him, and while my roommate likes cats she only wants one. That and, as I've said, its me the cat-loather who always has to clean up his mess. But I'm dreading this, too... because I know finding a home for a cat is going to be difficult. I don't want to take him to the SPCA because the majority of cats that are taken there just get put down. I just don't know what to do. None of my friends want him. I want him to find a good home but I just don't know how... I hate that this has become my problem...


... okay. I'm done.

 

[Sulphiria]

Try craigslist and check freecycle.org in your area. I frequent that site to get rid of stuff i dont want, pretty neat concept. You just post that you have something you dont want or need and people respond, you pick one and they come pick it up! Ive seen a lot of cats and kittens on there in our area who always find homes. Im with you, im not a cat person either.

 

[caliopi]

I feel sorry for you. I am cat lover but totally get they are not for everyone. I also think it is admirable that you allowed the cat to come into your home and secondly that you appear to be stuck with all the work. I know that is a lot as I have 2 semi long hair cats and we are constantly cleaning up fur despite them being brushed daily.I think you have no option but to make a stand and give this girl an ultimatum and return the cat to where she is staying. If she thinks this is something that you will do it might just get her to take responsibility.

 

[HalfInsane]

Thanks for your sympathies lol.

I gave her the end of May deadline today. She's not happy. Basically told me I don't understand and she just loves her cat so much. Well, if you love him so much, why do you dump him off at someone's house, don't so much as stop by to check up or even call to see if he's okay, and make zero effort to keep him with you?

I've considered Craigslist, I guess I just don't like the idea of random people coming to my house to look at the cat. I've bought/sold things on Craigslist before, but always met the people in town. Oh well, desperate times, desperate measures. There's also just such a daunting number of cats on there, I do wonder if anyone will be interested. Here's hoping! I do want him to have a good home, just not here.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

If she really does love her cat she'll figure something out. Some places will board cats, like petsmart's pet hotel and possibly some vets, you should let her know about them.

 

[caliopi]

Is this owner paying for it's food, cat litter and anything else the cat needs? If the answer is no then the cat would be considered "dumped" in the eye of the law. If you are funding these expenses then I would be giving her a weekly account as if it is her "beloved" cat not only would she have sent it with supplies but she would have been visiting it constantly and ensuring it's needs are provided for.

I could never leave one of my pets like this. Good Luck

 

[HalfInsane]

She said she'd pay for food, that has not happened. My roommate has been paying for everything for the cat, with the exception of dewormer which I bought (he used to be outside a lot).

Honestly, I think he'd be better off without her. She's neither responsible or commited to much of anything. I also have a feeling if he ever needed vet care, she wouldn't pay for it.

 

[jaimmorr]

First of all, I hate cats too. I mean, I would never do anything to harm a cat, and I like other peoples' cats for about 2 minutes and then I want nothing to do with them.

Secondly, PLEASE do not get rid of this cat without the girl's permission. I understand your frustrations, but please realize that this is a living animal. She may not be visiting or calling because she's going through a rough time. What if your house were foreclosed on and your friend took in your bird? You were busy trying to figure out a living situation and save up some money to find a place. All of a sudden, you get a call that this person is going to "get rid" of your bird in a few weeks if you don't do something about it. It would most likely be extremely hard on you, yes?

I understand your frustrations, trust me I do. And I think if this girl really does love her cat, she'll take it back before you rehome it.

On the other hand, if you believe the cat will be better off in another home, or the girl doesn't really want the cat... Try to find a GOOD home for it. You could drop it off at a no kill shelter. Or post an ad. But please don't give it away for free unless you know the people. Free cats and dogs are used for rituals (sacrifices), bait animals for dog fighting, and sold to labs for research. It's pretty much a torture and death sentence.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best.

 

[IcyWolf]

I understand your frustration but I have to agree with jaimmorr. I suppose I'm a bit empathetic since this is exactly how I lost my beloved goffin. I still think about her everyday, I don't think I've ever had such a strong bond with another animal before and I lost her all because our supposed friend who was fostering her for us gave her away/sold her, we really don't even know exactly what happened as we've gotten several stories. If the woman that was keeping her for me would have just asked me I would have at least found someone else to foster her for me. If you give the woman a deadline and she makes no effort then I understand just rehoming the cat but at least try to be understanding if she really is trying to find someone else to take her or a new place.

 

[KatherineI]

I think that if she really loved the cat, she'd be waaay more involved. I've been in her situation and I did everything in my power to keep my pet and even when I couldn't, I remained involved until I could take her back. This girl doesn't sound like she's being involved or realistic. At least you're giving her a few more weeks, which is waaaaay more than many others would do (not to mention buying all it's litter, food and medicine).

On the other hand, if you believe the cat will be better off in another home, or the girl doesn't really want the cat... Try to find a GOOD home for it. You could drop it off at a no kill shelter. Or post an ad. But please don't give it away for free unless you know the people. Free cats and dogs are used for rituals (sacrifices), bait animals for dog fighting, and sold to labs for research. It's pretty much a torture and death sentence.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best.

May I just say that as someone who has gotten various pets more than once for "free", and as a Pagan, I am extremely insulted by your statement. I have NEVER tortured or sacrificed an animal, let alone sold it to a lab. While I realize that there are people as you described, it is insulting to many to insinuate that all people who take in free animals do this, as that is simply not true.

Not to mention someone willing to take in an animal temporarily, especially an animal they don't like and pay for medication for it, isn't likely to just give it away to the first unknown person who offers to take them.

 

[KatherineI]

I understand your frustration but I have to agree with jaimmorr. I suppose I'm a bit empathetic since this is exactly how I lost my beloved goffin. I still think about her everyday, I don't think I've ever had such a strong bond with another animal before and I lost her all because our supposed friend who was fostering her for us gave her away/sold her, we really don't even know exactly what happened as we've gotten several stories. If the woman that was keeping her for me would have just asked me I would have at least found someone else to foster her for me. If you give the woman a deadline and she makes no effort then I understand just rehoming the cat but at least try to be understanding if she really is trying to find someone else to take her or a new place.

I'm really sorry to hear that :-( doesn't sound like she was much of a friend. At least she's given the girl plenty of time and a several week deadline as opposed to sending her an email saying "I got sick of your cat so I took it to a shelter/gave it to someone"

 

[HalfInsane]

We've explicitly told her she has a month. She knows I will rehome her cat at the end of May. But as I've said, she originally claimed he'd be here two weeks. Once May is out it will have been three months. And we've been constantly encouraging her to figure things out. She's made no effort, paid for nothing, never checked on him. We've been more than generous, I think, but she's not doing her part. In fact, we talked to her again today and she said she doesn't want to bother moving somewhere that'll take cats. She's going to beg the landlord, and if that doesn't work, she says we can find him a home.

I absolutely will be careful about who I rehome him with. I'll probably not charge a fee, but I'll be sure to do an interview of sorts and make sure the people will take good care of him. It seems people have assumed I'm just going to dump him... I do care about his welfare as I do any animal and even if it means he is here longer than I'd like I'll wait until I find him a good home.

I've even asked his owner if she'd like to help me find him a home if her landlord doesn't let her take him (because, as said, she's decided she won't move somewhere cat friendly. Can't be bothered). She doesn't have any interest.

 

[suebee]

them kinda ppl annoy me, lost interest in the poor cat

anyway halfinsane, the cats not grown on you then?? lol i'm not a cat person, or a small children person, but when ever they are about they have to come shed some fur or food stain upon me, then continue doing what ever it was they were up to before.
most grow on me (or the most determined!)

so well done on keeping the cat for so long an taking care of it!

 

[jaimmorr]

I think that if she really loved the cat, she'd be waaay more involved. I've been in her situation and I did everything in my power to keep my pet and even when I couldn't, I remained involved until I could take her back. This girl doesn't sound like she's being involved or realistic. At least you're giving her a few more weeks, which is waaaaay more than many others would do (not to mention buying all it's litter, food and medicine).

On the other hand, if you believe the cat will be better off in another home, or the girl doesn't really want the cat... Try to find a GOOD home for it. You could drop it off at a no kill shelter. Or post an ad. But please don't give it away for free unless you know the people. Free cats and dogs are used for rituals (sacrifices), bait animals for dog fighting, and sold to labs for research. It's pretty much a torture and death sentence.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best.

May I just say that as someone who has gotten various pets more than once for "free", and as a Pagan, I am extremely insulted by your statement. I have NEVER tortured or sacrificed an animal, let alone sold it to a lab. While I realize that there are people as you described, it is insulting to many to insinuate that all people who take in free animals do this, as that is simply not true.

Not to mention someone willing to take in an animal temporarily, especially an animal they don't like and pay for medication for it, isn't likely to just give it away to the first unknown person who offers to take them.

I apologize, I didn't mean to offend. I was not saying that all people who take in free animals do this, but MOST do. I am involved in animal rescue and can't even begin to tell you the horror stories. It's not pretty. Just because you are a Pagan doesn't mean I was aiming that at you, or any specific religion. I have friends that are Pagan and I actually am quite interested in it myself. But there ARE people who do this. It may be hard to believe, hard to stomach, etc. But it happens, and it happens OFTEN. Again, I am sorry if I offended you, because I like you, you seem like a really nice person from the posts I have seen by you. But I would rather offend someone with my statement than have a cat used as a bait animal or something horrible happen to it.

 

[KatherineI]

We've explicitly told her she has a month. She knows I will rehome her cat at the end of May. But as I've said, she originally claimed he'd be here two weeks. Once May is out it will have been three months. And we've been constantly encouraging her to figure things out. She's made no effort, paid for nothing, never checked on him. We've been more than generous, I think, but she's not doing her part. In fact, we talked to her again today and she said she doesn't want to bother moving somewhere that'll take cats. She's going to beg the landlord, and if that doesn't work, she says we can find him a home.

I absolutely will be careful about who I rehome him with. I'll probably not charge a fee, but I'll be sure to do an interview of sorts and make sure the people will take good care of him. It seems people have assumed I'm just going to dump him... I do care about his welfare as I do any animal and even if it means he is here longer than I'd like I'll wait until I find him a good home.

I've even asked his owner if she'd like to help me find him a home if her landlord doesn't let her take him (because, as said, she's decided she won't move somewhere cat friendly. Can't be bothered). She doesn't have any interest.

Yeeeaaaah... she doesn't want the cat or responsibility of the cat but yet isn't willing to do what needs to be done aka find it a suitable home. People like her burn me up! I think you've been more than generous and most wouldn't have done half of what you have. I think you are not only being generous, but realistic. I hope you can find the cat a very nice home.

I apologize, I didn't mean to offend. I was not saying that all people who take in free animals do this, but MOST do. I am involved in animal rescue and can't even begin to tell you the horror stories. It's not pretty. Just because you are a Pagan doesn't mean I was aiming that at you, or any specific religion. I have friends that are Pagan and I actually am quite interested in it myself. But there ARE people who do this. It may be hard to believe, hard to stomach, etc. But it happens, and it happens OFTEN. Again, I am sorry if I offended you, because I like you, you seem like a really nice person from the posts I have seen by you. But I would rather offend someone with my statement than have a cat used as a bait animal or something horrible happen to it.

I realize that these things do happen, as I've also worked in rescue and volunteered at shelters and such, but that statement is also the same stereotyping as saying everyone who had a pager/beeper at a certain point, sold drugs. Or that every woman who's black or a white woman who's in to black men, have multiple children by multiple fathers. While those statements could be true, it's a slippery slope because that's not 100% the case. I'm just saying that stereotyping in any capacity, whether it's animals or not, is simply bad form. I understand overly generalized statements, but at the same time, there are always exceptions. Just like there are all knee-jerk reactions. The point is to think clearly before saying something you can't generally take back.

We also can't prevent all the bad things in this world. HIS may think she's found the perfect home and even charge them a rehoming fee that they don't bat an eyelash out, only to have them do exactly what you say will happen to a free cat. Fee's do not necessarily guarantee the safety of any animal. I understand that they are there to deterrent those who can't afford them or won't take care of them, but it's still not 100%. The intentions behind it all are honorable, and I do see that.

 

[jaimmorr]

We've explicitly told her she has a month. She knows I will rehome her cat at the end of May. But as I've said, she originally claimed he'd be here two weeks. Once May is out it will have been three months. And we've been constantly encouraging her to figure things out. She's made no effort, paid for nothing, never checked on him. We've been more than generous, I think, but she's not doing her part. In fact, we talked to her again today and she said she doesn't want to bother moving somewhere that'll take cats. She's going to beg the landlord, and if that doesn't work, she says we can find him a home.

I absolutely will be careful about who I rehome him with. I'll probably not charge a fee, but I'll be sure to do an interview of sorts and make sure the people will take good care of him. It seems people have assumed I'm just going to dump him... I do care about his welfare as I do any animal and even if it means he is here longer than I'd like I'll wait until I find him a good home.

I've even asked his owner if she'd like to help me find him a home if her landlord doesn't let her take him (because, as said, she's decided she won't move somewhere cat friendly. Can't be bothered). She doesn't have any interest.

Yeeeaaaah... she doesn't want the cat or responsibility of the cat but yet isn't willing to do what needs to be done aka find it a suitable home. People like her burn me up! I think you've been more than generous and most wouldn't have done half of what you have. I think you are not only being generous, but realistic. I hope you can find the cat a very nice home.

I apologize, I didn't mean to offend. I was not saying that all people who take in free animals do this, but MOST do. I am involved in animal rescue and can't even begin to tell you the horror stories. It's not pretty. Just because you are a Pagan doesn't mean I was aiming that at you, or any specific religion. I have friends that are Pagan and I actually am quite interested in it myself. But there ARE people who do this. It may be hard to believe, hard to stomach, etc. But it happens, and it happens OFTEN. Again, I am sorry if I offended you, because I like you, you seem like a really nice person from the posts I have seen by you. But I would rather offend someone with my statement than have a cat used as a bait animal or something horrible happen to it.

I realize that these things do happen, as I've also worked in rescue and volunteered at shelters and such, but that statement is also the same stereotyping as saying everyone who had a pager/beeper at a certain point, sold drugs. Or that every woman who's black or a white woman who's in to black men, have multiple children by multiple fathers. While those statements could be true, it's a slippery slope because that's not 100% the case. I'm just saying that stereotyping in any capacity, whether it's animals or not, is simply bad form. I understand overly generalized statements, but at the same time, there are always exceptions. Just like there are all knee-jerk reactions. The point is to think clearly before saying something you can't generally take back.

We also can't prevent all the bad things in this world. HIS may think she's found the perfect home and even charge them a rehoming fee that they don't bat an eyelash out, only to have them do exactly what you say will happen to a free cat. Fee's do not necessarily guarantee the safety of any animal. I understand that they are there to deterrent those who can't afford them or won't take care of them, but it's still not 100%. The intentions behind it all are honorable, and I do see that.

I think we all can agree on one thing: If people would just keep their pets for the duration of their lives like you're SUPPOSED to, we wouldn't have to worry about these kinds of things!! (I know there are exceptions, but for the most part...)

 

[KatherineI]

I agree, but that doesn't always happen for a wide variety of reasons All we can do is the best we can.

 

[happycat]

Well this has nothing to do with what your talking about but, I understand how some people could hate cats, but I think most people that do hate cats because they know a perticulaur cat. Personally, cats are my favorite animal but some people think they can be snobby or annoying or mean or anything but they are all different so please dont hate cats because you know one certain cat. I have 2 cats (and another 2 cats at my dads house) and they are both very sweet and cuddly and actually not only really nice cats but 2 of the most sweet creatures Ive ever met. But then I do know a cat that is mean, bites, hisses scratches, is skittish and I could understand if people hated cats just by knowing this cat. Compared to my cats it doesnt seem like your friends cat acts even similar to mine. Mine never rip anything up :/ Give other cats a chance (im talking to everyone who hates cats) and you might like them (but maybe not IDK)

Maybe you could train him? Or give him away.
I agree that if she actually cared she would do more for it.

(btw not trying to make you like them or anything)

 

[jaimmorr]

Well this has nothing to do with what your talking about but, I understand how some people could hate cats, but I think most people that do hate cats because they know a perticulaur cat. Personally, cats are my favorite animal but some people think they can be snobby or annoying or mean or anything but they are all different so please dont hate cats because you know one certain cat. I have 2 cats (and another 2 cats at my dads house) and they are both very sweet and cuddly and actually not only really nice cats but 2 of the most sweet creatures Ive ever met. But then I do know a cat that is mean, bites, hisses scratches, is skittish and I could understand if people hated cats just by knowing this cat. Compared to my cats it doesnt seem like your friends cat acts even similar to mine. Mine never rip anything up :/ Give other cats a chance (im talking to everyone who hates cats) and you might like them (but maybe not IDK)

Maybe you could train him? Or give him away.
I agree that if she actually cared she would do more for it.

(btw not trying to make you like them or anything)

I don't *hate* cats, per say. I don't hate any animal. I just would rather not have one as a pet. I grew up with 5 cats. I loved them, of course, but as soon as I moved out of my mom's house, I knew I wouldn't be getting any for my house. I have also fostered cats. They're just not for me.

 

[HalfInsane]

It doesn't sound like the girl's landlord is swaying on his no cat policy (not surprising). So looks like I'll be rehoming the cat sooner than expected. I even reminded her she still has the month to try and move, and gave her a list of places looking for tenants that take cats. She's not interested.

I am a bit miffed though. I guess the cat's owner was talking about it to my roommate. She (the owner) actually has the audacity to blame ME for all this, and said "if Sara didn't have to be such a b****, and hate Tzar (the cats name), this wouldn't be a problem". Wouldn't be a problem?!?! She's the problem; he is her cat. She abandoned him. It is not my job to keep your cat indefinitely for you because you can't be bothered to keep him!!! Makes me so mad. Oh well, finding the cat a good home is my main concern now.