all alone in the world :(

[Sarvesh]

once again, the girl i really liked doesn't like me im 26 and never had a real girlfriend and i been through lot of bad things in life and everytime i had nobody to help me and it sucks cus i am a very social person and feel sad alone, and its like the world created me to be social but made my life alone to suffer more, and yes i do make a huge effort to go out and meet people.

and i have my birds but i still feel lonely i wish i could just die because every second i feel like i am gasping for air and life will go on forever as an endless hell.

 

[AJBirds]

You're not alone.

First off, a girl not liking you back is no biggie, in fact, you probably dodged a bullet since her not liking you back represents that she's looking for different things in a partner and you two wouldn't have been happy together.

If you wish you could die, maybe you should seek therapy? I've been there and I know other people who have, too. Don't lose hope - things have a habit of working out in the end

The only practical tip I can add is to become an exercise addict. Exercise releases endorphins and makes you feel better. You might even make gym buddies. You might have to look around to find the kind of exercise you like (my favorites are dance, strength training and yoga) but it's worth the search. A good diet also goes a long way towards feeling better.

Regarding socializing: is there anyone you can hang out with, even superficially? (Without sharing your problems, if you're not very close). This might help; plus, there are meetups and clubs that might help you make new friends. Good luck.

 

[beckalou]

I'm new here but can't read this and not post something. It's a cliche but some things just aren't meant to be. Focus your energy on things that make you feel good for the time being. Have you not tried online dating? I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, it's just not always clear at the time. Hope you feel better soon!

 

[PetoftheDay]

You are not all alone, you have us at the Parrot Forum!

My best advice is to find yourself a volunteer opportunity. Whether it is reading to children at the library, becoming a Big Brother, visiting the sick or elderly through some community program, helping serve at a food pantry or soup kitchen - all these will get you out amongst people, and I have often found doing something good for someone else helps one's own feeling of self-worth, funny enough!

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[OOwl]

I wish there was a "hug" button. You sound like you need one.

I am middle-aged now, and I remember back to all the times I felt as down as you describe right now, and I can see how that didn't last, and something wonderful really was over that seemingly insurmountable hill. Wait for it. I will happen for you, too.

I'm also the praying type, so you will be in my prayers, as well.

 

[kq_fan]

Oh I'm sorry, I know how you feel. But hey, keep your head up, I agree that all things happen for a reason. I guess it just wasn't meant to be, winch sucks but maybe you just haven't found the girl yet. But I do suggest try to surround yourself with people who like what you like, or do what you do. For instance, if you love art, hang out with people and make friends with people who have the same love for art. Maybe the girl your looking for is apart of something like that! please don't give up. keep looking! Make friends, friendship lasts forever especially when you end up marrying your best friend!

 

[Solo]

You got some great advise, only thing I can add is to stop looking. Every time I sought out a partner it never worked, I was seeing a relationship that didn't exist. I finally decided to focus on my own life and do things I enjoy, and I met someone at one of the event I went to. Started off as friends and had no expectations and it eventually turned into more, been going 4 years now. Then you have someone that shares at least some interest with you. Keep your head up and everything will work out.

 

[Surfincr]

i just want to share what took me a long time to learn. while it is never fun to be alone you need to feel comfortable being alone, learn to be comfortable with who you are and embrace it. dont look to define yourself as if you are single or in a relationship, define yourself as who you are. i always found that when i focused on dating/finding someone i was miserable and quite frankly the people i met either ran or really werent the type of people you want to settle down with. once i began to foster a german shepherd i started to not care if i had someone and thats when life started to fall into place.

even before that after one of my major breakups i followed some advice and started volunteering at a horse rescue and made some great friends.

you may be at a low point now but every day is a new day with new chances. find groups that share your interests, get yourself out of your comfort zone and remember to always be yourself. i will bet the second you stop focusing on what you dont have things will fall into place

 

[ruffledfeathers]

I relate to what you are saying. I felt very much like that when I was 26 too. I think sometimes the sadness and frustration is deeper because we can be too hard on ourselves. ("Why am I alone? Why doesn't this person like me? Why am I not good enough?")
It probably sounds weird but I started trying to follow a reverse golden rule: "treat yourself as you would treat others". All the love you are capable of giving to another, you deserve it too. You don't deserve to blame yourself and feel defeated. Do things that make you happy. Honestly at 43 I look back at time I spent sad as just 'time wasted' that I could have been having a better time! I know it's not that simple though, because I'm a smart person too, and if it were simple, none of us would have problems! Any of the above suggestions are good! Pick any or all. Hiking, Bicycling, dog walking, volunteering, writing, cooking, etc. I used to use roller coasters....like every free weekend I had. I NEEDED that to clear my soul and it worked!


Sorry you are under a black cloud right now. But nothing is permanent. Keep that in mind.

 

[Mariar]

I cant tell you anything new, 26 is young, and one day you'll wake up and and think 'dang it, why was i sad again' When im not working i spend a lot of time alone, some days i feel a lot like you but then i put sissys harness on her and we take a walk..or i get on this forum and write.:09:

 

[Kyoto]

You got some great advise, only thing I can add is to stop looking. Every time I sought out a partner it never worked, I was seeing a relationship that didn't exist. I finally decided to focus on my own life and do things I enjoy, and I met someone at one of the event I went to. Started off as friends and had no expectations and it eventually turned into more, been going 4 years now. Then you have someone that shares at least some interest with you. Keep your head up and everything will work out.

DITTO. Now I am marrying the man of my dreams :3

 

[Birdman666]

First of all, as a fifty-something man who has been and done a fair amount in his life...

1. What I wouldn't give to be 26 again!

2. Bluntly, and this may seem unkind, but it isn't meant to be: You aren't going to meet anyone by whining about not meeting anyone... You don't meet anyone staying at home. You have to make the effort to get yourself out there.

3. Equally bluntly, pity parties generally turn most people off... so, sorry, but that's generally TMI. You really don't want to have that discussion with most women. While I am a male of the species, it's my understanding that it's generally a turnoff...

4. Having been divorced once, I can emphatically say you are better off alone than married to the wrong person... it is a truly miserable existence!!!

5. Having also been (sort of) widowed once (Rachel died about a month before our wedding - just dropped dead at age 35 - and I found out about it from an Email! "Hey, I don't know you, but your fiance just dropped dead. Call her mom." Try that on for shock value... You want to try depression?! Go from planning a wedding to planning a memorial service!) I can also say that the real thing is worth what ever it takes to find it... (and hold onto it when you do, because I can tell you from first hand experience it can absolutely end in an instant.)

6. Having owned three conures, I can honestly say they're pretty good company. THEY REMIND YOU TO PLAY AND TO LAUGH... IT'S A LESSON YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON AT THE MOMENT. Beats the hell out of someone constantly reminding you to take out the garbage, fix the [insert "honeydo list here"]... , you're not actually wearing that are you?!

7. Keep going. Put yourself out there. Talk to people. Meet People. Find things to do. DON'T DWELL ON IT... NOTHING GOOD COMES OF THAT!!! (Unless of course, being near-suicidally depressed everyday is attractive to you... then by all means... throw a pity party every time you get rejected - which happens about 8 out of every 10 times if you're normal.)

My suggestion would be to take a vacation, do something to get yourself out of the house and with people... Personally, I'd try skydiving! That oughta blast you out of your funk! Plus, there's all sorts of happy go lucky, up for anything kind of people on a jump plane. (Okay, maybe I'm biased... it's my favorite thing in the world.)

 

[Birdman666]

I used to use roller coasters....like every free weekend I had. I NEEDED that to clear my soul and it worked!

I'll see your roller coaster, and raise you a rubber ducky! Same deal, only you're pulling a few more G's... I can totally relate!

When you get to be my age, and you've watched a fair number of family, friends and loved ones die, you begin to appreciate the gift of life, and just how brief it is.

Don't waste it sitting around feeling bad about things, go out and find things to feel good about!

WE ALL GO THROUGH ROUGH PATCHES... The past five years of my life haven't exactly been a day at the beach either.

It's been five years since Rachel died, and I can't say that I've meant anything other than "just a nice guy who pays for dinner" to anyone I've been out with recently.

Try getting dates as a middle aged man, with a teenager, and five parrots in the house, when you also work to much and don't make enough money... (yeah, I have no idea how this feels.. no one does! Wait, no, pretty much everyone does...) You don't put a gun to your head because of it.)

Everyone has heard the "you're a nice guy but..." speech. (Unless you're a complete a$$hole... then you get a list of all the ways you are a complete a$$hole, before the door hits you in the butt on the way out...

Really it's not you, it's me... Okay, no... it's you, I just said that...

Who hear hasn't heard AND said that one at least TWICE by the time they are in their 20's?!

Try going from planning a wedding to planning a memorial sometime...

then try to find a way to go on.

You don't "just get over it."

You just keep going... and those first few steps are tough.

Then it gets easier. Then, somewhere along the way, you start enjoying yourself again.

Having a goofy macaw (or two) helps...

And life goes on... (UNTIL IT DOESN'T.)

AND THAT'S A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO WHAT ARE OTHERWISE TEMPORARY PETTY LITTLE PROBLEMS... THAT IN THE BIGGER PICTURE OF LIFE DON'T MEAN SQUAT!

Don't sweat the small stuff...

IF IT DOESN'T KILL YOU, IT'S PROBABLY SMALL STUFF...

 

[WilliamKenyon]

May bee you can train your birds some new tricks. i always find while annoying that often the bird won't do the trick at first, when the bird finally gets the trick you will feel much better. Also who knows, often girls like guys with hobbies, birds being a hobby. i hope you feel better .

 

[Birdman666]

Yeah, there's a conversation starter for you... beautiful woman comes up to you... "Hey, did you know you've got bird poop all over the back of your shirt?!"

 

[Giggleagain]

Yeah, there's a conversation starter for you... beautiful woman comes up to you... "Hey, did you know you've got bird poop all over the back of your shirt?!"

Happened to me, but it was a not-so-beautiful man! My answer "what else is new" ?
It's definitely a conversation starter, it was just the wrong man at the wrong time

 

[RavensGryf]

ConurePower, I hope you're still reading this thread . You've gotten some great uplifting (and true) words from people who have been there (and we ALL have, both men and women) most every adult knows what it feels like, and has been through it multiple times (depending on how old they are).

Mark (Birdman666) has been through A LOT emotionally, and if he can manage to "live" and enjoy life again, then YOU surely can too .

I know you're down in the dumps right now, but please take these posts to heart! These members aren't only saying this stuff to make you feel better, but they're also saying it because it's true ! Hang in there... it WILL get better.

 

[AJBirds]

Yeah, there's a conversation starter for you... beautiful woman comes up to you... "Hey, did you know you've got bird poop all over the back of your shirt?!"

"It's because the 'chicks' dig me."

 

[AJBirds]

Birdman, I had no idea you'd been through so much. Learning about others' lives sometimes puts your own in perspective. *virtual hug*

 

[Birdman666]

Especially when I was younger, I was a risk taker.

You do more stuff than most people. You experience more. Both good and bad.

And my highs were VERY high. So, there's also that! I've done some stuff that other folks only dream about...

Sometimes those experiences are not always pleasant.

You don't die from it.

Sometimes risks pay off. Sometimes they don't. It's the nature of things...

What ever happens, happens, and you learn to deal with it.

Dwelling on it, wallowing in self pity, doesn't do anyone any good, and pretty much makes you someone whose unpleasant to be around most of the time.

THEN YOU REALLY WILL BE ALONE IN LIFE...

And whose fault is that?!

You can put a gun to your head, or as I say to Tusk and Sweepea all the time "KNOCK IT OFF!" and just get on with the business of living.

Another girl will come along soon.

And if things run their normal course, you'll get the "you're a nice guy, but..." speech 6-8 weeks down the road..