Angry at people comparing birds to other pets.

[RainbowRose]

I literally cannot stand when people compare birds to dogs, etc.

I get asked why I look so down. I respond because I'm still grieving over the loss of my beloved Tiki. I get asked okay well what's wrong with the new birds? I say it's not the same. And they're new and it's all still recent. I had a strong bond with him. I get told I've had a bond with all my birds. I reply not like this time. I said that's if our dog Rosie died and we replaced her with a new french bulldog. It's not the same. The response I get???? There's a huge difference that's a dog not a bird.



My thing is BIRDS. They are just as equal to any other type of pet!!! It's who you bond with not what type of animal they are!!! It made me angry. I hate when people compare. I know only you guys will understand this.

 

[thekarens]

I love my dogs dearly and they are part of my family, but frankly my birds are more like my children. Their cognitive ability just brings the relationship to another level and you can never replace one child with another.

 

[RainbowRose]

I love my dogs dearly and they are part of my family, but frankly my birds are more like my children. Their cognitive ability just brings the relationship to another level and you can never replace one child with another.

THANK YOU. I love my two french bulldogs they are my crazy babies, my rabbit is a little sweet angel, and then I have my birds! All different animals that I love dearly. But you know when you have a special bond with an individual pet. Of all my pets, (and past birds) Tiki and I had a strong bond. Comparing his death to the death of one of my dogs is apples and oranges. If you have a bond, you have a bond...

Besides, I love all animals! Lol I just don't like when people proclaim cats or dogs superior over birds and rodents etc... Idk

 

[EAI]

I completely agree that all animals are equally important because everyone has their own cup of tea. Ours is birds (and other animals).
No animal should ever be superior than another species, instead we should all look and see that they all have attributes and qualities that allures different groups of people to them. We'll all have an opinion that will clash against someone else's and it's going to be (most likely never) until everyone can agree on a certain standpoint.
In the meantime, we should all be considerate and patient with one's choosing. To me, it's extremely disrespectful and hateful to mention that "it's just a bird" or "it's just a fish".

But it's the fact that people can't respect one another's preference that really get's me P.O'd. In the time of grief we should all be compassionate and find a sort of understanding towards one another - the most you can do is simply say your condolences and leave it as that. A simple "I'm sorry for your loss" is all it takes. But to say something so arbitrary to a delicate subject is uncalled for.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

I love all my birdies and my dog equally. I adore my beautiful parrots Rosie and Kenji, they are my friends and beloved family. Their intelligence is incredible, and the fact that I have to be so thoughtful to their emotions is humbling. My dog Sugar is my amazing guardian, even in her tiny size she'll try to protect me if I'm sleeping and loves me so much. Then there's my majestic hawk, I sometimes feel my relationship with him is so unreal. We are a amazing team, I can't compare anything to having trained a hawk to stay with me willingly.

No way to compare any of my beautiful animal companions as being any better than another, all are so different and beautiful. Having someone compare one beloved animal as being better than another is tragic

 

[Dinosrawr]

I too get frustrated when others look at you and say, "so what?". I still remember buying my first animal with my own money - a bright red Betta fish I had named Kenshin. Unfortunately he died within 4 days of purchasing him because the store he was kept at did NOT take proper care of him, nor was I informed of how to properly care for him. I cried for days after losing him, and my father yelled at me for crying when it was "just a fish".

When I had purchased guppies (my FAVOURITE fish, even to this day) years after losing Kenshin, I started breeding them. At the age of 13, I had over 15 adults and 50+ fry that I was raising, approximately 5 fish tanks I was cleaning and taking care of, and had essentially transformed my room into a walk-in aquarium. I purchased a beautiful Tuxedo male, who unfortunately had fin-rot that did not fully develop until days after I bought him... and he killed every single one of my guppies due to water contamination. I cried for weeks and to this day I cannot bring myself to buy more fish out of fear of losing them. My friends laughed at me for being so upset.


When Avery took off, my boyfriend's younger sister volunteered to help me find her, and had to cancel plans with a friend. She so kindly helped me, and when she called to cancel her friend replied with, "So what? It's just a bird, it's not like it won't survive outside anyways".


So I completely understand how you feel and I agree - the bonds we make with other living organisms has nothing to do with its "classification"... it's everything to do with the love we developed for them. At least you know here that we all empathize with you for your loss, and that we too agree that no animal stands higher than any other. Lots of (((hugs))) your way!

 

[strudel]

Even if that's someone's opinion, have they no understanding that you don't express that to the person who obviously feels differently? It's not just stupid in its own right, it's so insensitive....

As for horrible people, years ago, I was out with people and we came across an injured cat. I was devastated, so upset, saying we had to take it to a vet. All of these people were going "leave it, it's just a cat" until some complete strangers took me and the cat to the all-night vet (some distance away). I couldn't believe that anybody could stand by and leave an animal to suffer.

Some people suck.

Good thing there are others, like those of us on here.

 

[Scott]

It's emblematic of extraordinary insensitivity and ignorance. Much better for them to keep their mouth shut rather than lamely attempt to minimize grief or suffering.

 

[RavensGryf]

I can't say it better than what's already been said here. I can't believe how people can't keep their opinions to themselves, and just respect another person's feelings. Don't they see that's kicking someone when they're already down?! I'm so sorry, people have no respect for others and no manners!

 

[khaiqha]

Yeah, people are pretty ignorant. I hate it when people give the "birds shouldn't be caged" speech, and then I point out they keep their dogs crated all day while they're at work. We won't be able to understand to know what another person goes through, that doesn't mean we have to trivialize others because of it though. Some people suck.

 

[95talongirl]

Yup... it sucks when people don't understand the attachment you can develop with a bird! They are really like any other animal!

For me, growing up, my parents were not animal people. One of the most traumatic experiences was when I was 5 years old. I was rollerblading inside the house and my parakeet, Bubbles, was out of his cage. I was not watching where I was going, and tripped. I landed on him. Well, I picked up him, and he was convulsing in my hand, so I ran outside to get my dad, and he just picks the bird up and throws him in the trash. I was devastated. Not only because I killed the poor bird, but then watching him just be tossed away like garbage.

Luckily, after Bubbles, there's only been a few more instances with death and birds... and having to cry to myself. Some were babies of my cockatiels that I was forced into handfeeding after the parents abandoned them. (I was 12 at the time.. and had to learn through a book I borrowed at the library) So I did loose a few. :/ And this experience also made me appreciate what hand-feeders so, the importance of weaning, and why I also don't support the sale of un-weaned birds.

I took the death of my Amazon the hardest. Took me months to really "get over it." And I honestly still have times where it hits me hard. LUCKILY, I worked with people who understood that all pets, no matter what kind they are, are special. Kalani's whole health crisis happened during the Detroit Auto Show, which I was working. So every day that I closed, I spent the mornings at the vet's office with Kalani. It sucked, as it did affect me at work. Just glad my co-workers understood. Had the bird for 9 years, was expecting a long life with her and it was cut short due to a persistent cyst requiring surgery.

Ugh, it's so hard. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best!!! *HUG*

 

[Amanda_Bennett]

I haven't lost a bird recently, it's been almost 30 years since I lost my last bird, but I still feel the pain. No one I know "in real life" has ever understood my grief over losing a "bird". I got a lot of the "just be glad it wasn't your dog you lost, that would be so much worse" No it wouldn't, it would be the SAME to me no matter what animal I lose! I love all my animals weather they be bird, dog, cat or fish!

In the last few weeks I have gotten a lot of people telling me I should just put Zilla down and stop spending money on a sick bird. They say if I really want a bird I should just go get a "healthy" one and stop throwing money away on a sick one!

I completely understand how you feel, you can get new birds, and you will love and care for them, but they will never be Tiki. So sorry you are going through this. Know we are all here for you and we do understand.

 

[noblemacaw]

I agree with Karen that living with a parrot and the bond created is so much more intense than with a mammal. I also think it is because of their cognitive abilities to be able to communicate with us so effectively. The other day my Ex reminded me that I need to let her know if Valentino needs anything that I can't get him. She said "He is like our child and I want to be able to provide for him also."

I do let her know when I need help with Valentino. She covered half his well bird check up and paid for his needs when ordered through the internet since I don't have a credit card. When I run low on food money she will get his fresh veggies for me until my card replenishes.

People don't understand why she would continue to help me out with Valentino's care but I bet this community understands. Other parrot people get what our birds need and the level of care they require. Just yesterday I had quite the conversation with a coworker that was very excited with the prospect of "having a pet that can talk to me". Hi is a very smart and outgoing kind teen but I wanted him to know what it will take to keep such a pet happy and healthy. I did get him thinking which is a good think. I would rather my coworker be informed with the desire to become more knowledgeable with the prospect of living with a parrot than just go run out and buy one because of my Valentino stories.

I feel we have a responsibility to try to inform interested persons as much as we can to get them thinking "is having a parrot really for me?"

 

[RainbowRose]

I haven't lost a bird recently, it's been almost 30 years since I lost my last bird, but I still feel the pain. No one I know "in real life" has ever understood my grief over losing a "bird". I got a lot of the "just be glad it wasn't your dog you lost, that would be so much worse" No it wouldn't, it would be the SAME to me no matter what animal I lose! I love all my animals weather they be bird, dog, cat or fish!

In the last few weeks I have gotten a lot of people telling me I should just put Zilla down and stop spending money on a sick bird. They say if I really want a bird I should just go get a "healthy" one and stop throwing money away on a sick one!

I completely understand how you feel, you can get new birds, and you will love and care for them, but they will never be Tiki. So sorry you are going through this. Know we are all here for you and we do understand.

Yea I got rude remarks like that too about Tiki!! Things Like why are you spending so much on a BIRD? Why not just buy another? You could have bought like 3 of your bird with the amount you spent already.

My money. My pets. My feelings!

People are just ignorant, plain and simple...glad I'm not alone on this one cause up until I found this forum I pretty much have been

 

[Scott]

Yup... it sucks when people don't understand the attachment you can develop with a bird! They are really like any other animal!

For me, growing up, my parents were not animal people. One of the most traumatic experiences was when I was 5 years old. I was rollerblading inside the house and my parakeet, Bubbles, was out of his cage. I was not watching where I was going, and tripped. I landed on him. Well, I picked up him, and he was convulsing in my hand, so I ran outside to get my dad, and he just picks the bird up and throws him in the trash. I was devastated. Not only because I killed the poor bird, but then watching him just be tossed away like garbage.

Luckily, after Bubbles, there's only been a few more instances with death and birds... and having to cry to myself. Some were babies of my cockatiels that I was forced into handfeeding after the parents abandoned them. (I was 12 at the time.. and had to learn through a book I borrowed at the library) So I did loose a few. :/ And this experience also made me appreciate what hand-feeders so, the importance of weaning, and why I also don't support the sale of un-weaned birds.

I took the death of my Amazon the hardest. Took me months to really "get over it." And I honestly still have times where it hits me hard. LUCKILY, I worked with people who understood that all pets, no matter what kind they are, are special. Kalani's whole health crisis happened during the Detroit Auto Show, which I was working. So every day that I closed, I spent the mornings at the vet's office with Kalani. It sucked, as it did affect me at work. Just glad my co-workers understood. Had the bird for 9 years, was expecting a long life with her and it was cut short due to a persistent cyst requiring surgery.

Ugh, it's so hard. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best!!! *HUG*

Those are heartbreaking stories, and I salute you for not perpetuating your dad's attitudes. Sometimes the most horrific traits are serially passed down the family chain because they are unquestioned.

 

[strudel]

Things Like why are you spending so much on a BIRD?

The thing is that people overvalue their opinions and think that whatever they think is what everybody else thinks, or should think.

There are pets that are not for me and that I would not choose to keep, but I am not daft enough not to realise that the people who do have those pets think they are good pets and that the money they have chosen to spend is warranted. I'd NEVER express to them the opinion that applies to me only. It boils down to consideration and good manners. Especially to be dismissive of somebody's bond with a pet when the pet is sick and the person is hurting. You can have another opinion, just SHUT YOUR TRAP!

 

[Scott]

I'm afraid the layperson tends to equate our pet avians with the commercially bred fowl they enjoy consuming - chickens and turkeys. Many also hunt wild birds for "sport," a horrific endeavor IMHO.

Don't want to hijack the thread into a discussion of morality, but one of the reasons I chose to stop eating feathered food was my increasingly strong bond with parrots about 25 years ago. I am not, however, a terribly judgmental person and am not messianistic with my beliefs.

 

[GoldenPhoenix]

This is one of the biggest differences I have with my father, thank Glaux I do not live with him. He and my brother however are currently caring for the second cat I am financially responsible for. She belongs to my mom, but my mother can't have her in her current living situation. So my dad is looking after her as a favor to me. But anyway, when I talk to him about getting her proper care and making sure she gets this or that he looks at me like I'm crazy. I am the same with Kaz. I say I can't live without an animal and he looks and talks at me like I'm nuts. Its hurtful. All my life that he's known me, he KNOWS I have an affinity for animals, I get along with them, I enjoy working with them. But this "Its just an animal" mindset really gears me the wrong way. Because I know what its like to have a bond with an animal, and some people count that life enrichment of so little worth. Not everyone is into pets, but they should respect those who are, just like we respect those who are not pet-people.

 

[RainbowRose]

I'm afraid the layperson tends to equate our pet avians with the commercially bred fowl they enjoy consuming - chickens and turkeys. Many also hunt wild birds for "sport," a horrific endeavor IMHO.

Don't want to hijack the thread into a discussion of morality, but one of the reasons I chose to stop eating feathered food was my increasingly strong bond with parrots about 25 years ago. I am not, however, a terribly judgmental person and am not messianistic with my beliefs.

And you are just another example of the expression "to each their own." I would not judge you because of your feelings and beliefs, because they are yours. If that's how you feel, then I respect that. And it sucks that not everyone is like that. (I won't make it moral discussion either but I respect people of different culture and religion, even if I don't believe any part or all of it.) Same goes with animals. I may not like cats, but I don't judge cat lovers and no one should comment on my feelings towards birds or animals in general in return. People can really just be disrespectful

 

[RainbowRose]

This is one of the biggest differences I have with my father, thank Glaux I do not live with him. He and my brother however are currently caring for the second cat I am financially responsible for. She belongs to my mom, but my mother can't have her in her current living situation. So my dad is looking after her as a favor to me. But anyway, when I talk to him about getting her proper care and making sure she gets this or that he looks at me like I'm crazy. I am the same with Kaz. I say I can't live without an animal and he looks and talks at me like I'm nuts. Its hurtful. All my life that he's known me, he KNOWS I have an affinity for animals, I get along with them, I enjoy working with them. But this "Its just an animal" mindset really gears me the wrong way. Because I know what its like to have a bond with an animal, and some people count that life enrichment of so little worth. Not everyone is into pets, but they should respect those who are, just like we respect those who are not pet-people.

My family always love my birds, but I know they don't see the bond or feel it. When Tiki was sick my dad would chime in that he looks really good today. But Tiki was still silent and not himself and only I knew something was wrong because of our bond and me being with him a lot. I don't think my family will ever understand, nor my boyfriend. I told my long term boyfriend don't ever tell me to stop keeping animals when we live together because that's just not going to happen. I used to sneak home animals and care for them, (that's how I got one of my past birds I rescued it in a field someone just left him for days.) but animals is like a hobby for me, birds especially, so.

People need to respect other people even if they don't understand those peoples feelings and beliefs. It's the same in every aspect of our life. I guess it really is a judgmental thing in addition to just ignorance