Change One Letter

[LaManuka]

Vials (Snippy experiments with vials of finely ground invasive African giant land snail hoping to replicate organ meat and offal flavor. Turns out snail excrement was useful additive producing amazing suppositories. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā line up for clinical trials guaranteed to produce sly and stealthy experience. Native Indian snail populations erect massive Snappy statue and throw all night party with endless Spam Carbonara and Spam pesto.)

Salve (Sly and stealthy Snappinder steals special snail slime from Snippy's speculative scullery experiments, with aspirations of transmogrification into a cloaca-soothing salve. Faithful and long-suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā line up for the privilege of smearing the malodorous and much maligned Royal Rear End with the pleasantly pacifying poultice!)

 

[Scott]

Salve (Sly and stealthy Snappinder steals special snail slime from Snippy's speculative scullery experiments, with aspirations of transmogrification into a cloaca-soothing salve. Faithful and long-suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā line up for the privilege of smearing the malodorous and much maligned Royal Rear End with the pleasantly pacifying poultice!)

Valve (Smearing the malodorous and much maligned Royal Rear End with the pleasantly pacifying poultice opened the sphincter valve full bore with calamitous consequences for the beautiful Coromandel. Torrents of fully digested Spam, offal, organ meats, and head cheese spewed for forty days and forty nights without pause. Hordes of long-suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā scrambled for higher ground as fecal levels rose upwards of 10 feet/3 meters. Hapless victims of ignominious drowning provided bounty for local wildlife.)

 

[LaManuka]

Valve (Smearing the malodorous and much maligned Royal Rear End with the pleasantly pacifying poultice opened the sphincter valve full bore with calamitous consequences for the beautiful Coromandel. Torrents of fully digested Spam, offal, organ meats, and head cheese spewed for forty days and forty nights without pause. Hordes of long-suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā scrambled for higher ground as fecal levels rose upwards of 10 feet/3 meters. Hapless victims of ignominious drowning provided bounty for local wildlife.)

Calve (Torrents of cloacal discharge spewing forth for forty days and forty nights without pause causes mountainous pile of toxic buildup to form along the coastline of the beautiful Coromandel. Horrified whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā onlookers watch as giant brown bergs of compacted fully digested Spam, offal, organ meats, and head cheese calve off from the cliff face, carrying Snappy's foul and fetid fecal matter around the globe!)

 

[Scott]

Calve (Torrents of cloacal discharge spewing forth for forty days and forty nights without pause causes mountainous pile of toxic buildup to form along the coastline of the beautiful Coromandel. Horrified whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā onlookers watch as giant brown bergs of compacted fully digested Spam, offal, organ meats, and head cheese calve off from the cliff face, carrying Snappy's foul and fetid fecal matter around the globe!)

Carve (Snippy commanded vassals at SEI to carve sections of Snappy's foul and fetid brown bergs for culinary research. Flash freezing prompted development of delectable Snappitude™ treats savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Favorite flavors include Spam Swirl Supreme, Head Cheese Hokey Pokey, Sardinian Spumomi, Vegemite Vanilla, Bangkok Butter Brittle, etc.)

 

[LaManuka]

Carve (Snippy commanded vassals at SEI to carve sections of Snappy's foul and fetid brown bergs for culinary research. Flash freezing prompted development of delectable Snappitude™ treats savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Favorite flavors include Spam Swirl Supreme, Head Cheese Hokey Pokey, Sardinian Spumomi, Vegemite Vanilla, Bangkok Butter Brittle, etc.)

Oh dear, lol :jumping40

 

[Scott]

Carve (Snippy commanded vassals at SEI to carve sections of Snappy's foul and fetid brown bergs for culinary research. Flash freezing prompted development of delectable Snappitude™ treats savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Favorite flavors include Spam Swirl Supreme, Head Cheese Hokey Pokey, Sardinian Spumomi, Vegemite Vanilla, Bangkok Butter Brittle, etc.)

Oh dear, lol :jumping40

Had to research the "TM" symbol! For Windows: ALT + 0153

 

[LaManuka]

Carve (Snippy commanded vassals at SEI to carve sections of Snappy's foul and fetid brown bergs for culinary research. Flash freezing prompted development of delectable Snappitude™ treats savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Favorite flavors include Spam Swirl Supreme, Head Cheese Hokey Pokey, Sardinian Spumomi, Vegemite Vanilla, Bangkok Butter Brittle, etc.)

Raved (International food critics raved over Snappitude™ treats as savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. New flavours added to the range include Spam Spam Spam Spam Egg Bacon & Spam Surprise (the surprise being there's anything other than Spam in it!), Icelandic Fermented Shark Soufflé, Scrapple Heaven and Candied Queensland Coconut Cane Toad Bliss Bombs. Runaway favourite however is Snippy's latest kitchen masterpiece, Blue Ringed Octopus Intestine Profunda that the critics say they simply cannot get enough of! )

 

[Scott]

Raved (International food critics raved over Snappitude™ treats as savored by whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. New flavours added to the range include Spam Spam Spam Spam Egg Bacon & Spam Surprise (the surprise being there's anything other than Spam in it!), Icelandic Fermented Shark Soufflé, Scrapple Heaven and Candied Queensland Coconut Cane Toad Bliss Bombs. Runaway favourite however is Snippy's latest kitchen masterpiece, Blue Ringed Octopus Intestine Profunda that the critics say they simply cannot get enough of! )

Paved (International food critics rave reviews burst open the floodgates of orders, paved the way for unprecedented SEI expansion. Unemployment throughout the Coromandel reached historic lows as whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā toiled seven days with frequent double shifts. Sufficient brown bergs remained to ramp up production of Spam Spam Spam Spam Egg Bacon & Spam Surprise, Icelandic Fermented Shark Soufflé, Scrapple Heaven and Candied Queensland Coconut Cane Toad Bliss Bombs. Epic marketing breakthrough realized by pairing Blue Ringed Octopus Intestine Profunda with Spam Oreos.)

 

[LaManuka]

Paved (International food critics rave reviews burst open the floodgates of orders, paved the way for unprecedented SEI expansion. Unemployment throughout the Coromandel reached historic lows as whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā toiled seven days with frequent double shifts. Sufficient brown bergs remained to ramp up production of Spam Spam Spam Spam Egg Bacon & Spam Surprise, Icelandic Fermented Shark Soufflé, Scrapple Heaven and Candied Queensland Coconut Cane Toad Bliss Bombs. Epic marketing breakthrough realized by pairing Blue Ringed Octopus Intestine Profunda with Spam Oreos.)

Amped (Snippy has amped up SEI's profit margin with her special and totally irresistible Snappitude™ Spam Sponge Cake with Icelandic Fermented Shark Fondant Icing recipe. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā manning production lines on the factory floor work around the clock to keep up with worldwide orders. Pinheads from SEI accounts office are retrained into supervisory roles and have traded their clipboards for a cat o'nine tails in order to keep factory work rates high!)

 

[Scott]

Amped (Snippy has amped up SEI's profit margin with her special and totally irresistible Snappitude™ Spam Sponge Cake with Icelandic Fermented Shark Fondant Icing recipe. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā manning production lines on the factory floor work around the clock to keep up with worldwide orders. Pinheads from SEI accounts office are retrained into supervisory roles and have traded their clipboards for a cat o'nine tails in order to keep factory work rates high!)

Armed (SEi's amped up profit margin spread unprecedented wealth throughout the Coromandel. Improperly vetted SEI pinheads engaged in extracurricular protection rackets with sporadic violence. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā grew nervous with each armed cat o' nine tails attack. Snippy concocted a defense spray comprised of broiled haggis spam laced with Frumunda Cheese, one spray sends the pinheads scurrying from the abominable stench.)

 

[LaManuka]

Armed (SEi's amped up profit margin spread unprecedented wealth throughout the Coromandel. Improperly vetted SEI pinheads engaged in extracurricular protection rackets with sporadic violence. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā grew nervous with each armed cat o' nine tails attack. Snippy concocted a defense spray comprised of broiled haggis spam laced with Frumunda Cheese, one spray sends the pinheads scurrying from the abominable stench.)

[/QUOTE]

Dares (Amped up profit margin and unprecedented wealth means that Snippy takes her culinary exploits in directions never dreamt of before. Using whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā as taste testing guinea pigs, she not only invents Spam Fries, but dares to shape them into previously unheard of Sushi Maki rolls, boldly going where no fictitious crocodilian chef has gone before and hopefully never will again!)

 

[Scott]

Dares (Amped up profit margin and unprecedented wealth means that Snippy takes her culinary exploits in directions never dreamt of before. Using whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā as taste testing guinea pigs, she not only invents Spam Fries, but dares to shape them into previously unheard of Sushi Maki rolls, boldly going where no fictitious crocodilian chef has gone before and hopefully never will again!)

Adore (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā adore Snippy's culinary exploits and relish their role as testing guinea pigs despite rumblings of uncompensated servitude. Free lifetime Sushi Make rolls and Spam fries continue adding inches to waistlines yet ungrateful whānau yearn for more. SEI's Home Shopping subsidiary declares dividend and delivers deluxe Spam slicers to every abode across the beautiful Coromandel.)

 

[LaManuka]

Adore (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā adore Snippy's culinary exploits and relish their role as testing guinea pigs despite rumblings of uncompensated servitude. Free lifetime Sushi Make rolls and Spam fries continue adding inches to waistlines yet ungrateful whānau yearn for more. SEI's Home Shopping subsidiary declares dividend and delivers deluxe Spam slicers to every abode across the beautiful Coromandel.)

Decor (Hot on the heels of Snippy's culinary triumphs and delivery of deluxe Spam slicers to every abode across the beautiful Coromandel, Snappy senses further financial bonanza for SEI Home Shopping subsidiary. House-proud whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā wishing to keep up with latest home decor trends simply cannot resist SEI patented Spam Sushi wallpaper, impregnated with the addictive taste of offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese. Unfortunately little work gets done since whānau now staying home hooked on licking their wallpaper!)

 

[Scott]

Decor (Hot on the heels of Snippy's culinary triumphs and delivery of deluxe Spam slicers to every abode across the beautiful Coromandel, Snappy senses further financial bonanza for SEI Home Shopping subsidiary. House-proud whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā wishing to keep up with latest home decor trends simply cannot resist SEI patented Spam Sushi wallpaper, impregnated with the addictive taste of offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese. Unfortunately little work gets done since whānau now staying home hooked on licking their wallpaper!)

Force (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā cannot resist eating SEI patented Spam Sushi wallpaper, fomenting obnoxious chemical reaction causing cloacal discharges with hurricane force winds. Every home across the Coromandel sustained structural damage ranging from broken windows to decimated roofs. Whānau forced to raise restoration funds by selling off stocks of offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese to hapless tourists.)

 

[LaManuka]

Force (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā cannot resist eating SEI patented Spam Sushi wallpaper, fomenting obnoxious chemical reaction causing cloacal discharges with hurricane force winds. Every home across the Coromandel sustained structural damage ranging from broken windows to decimated roofs. Whānau forced to raise restoration funds by selling off stocks of offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese to hapless tourists.)

Farce (Having recovered from the farce of licking offal, organ meat, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese impregnated wallpaper, the whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā finally get back to work on the factory floor. In a perhaps ill-advised bid for intergalactic domination, Snappy opens a telepathic channel to the distant, lead-lined sarcophagus entombing the reviled Emperor Iridiot Floridian the Seventh for suggestions on how best to entice more acolytes to slavishly follow his every word........)

 

[Scott]

Farce (Having recovered from the farce of licking offal, organ meat, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese impregnated wallpaper, the whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā finally get back to work on the factory floor. In a perhaps ill-advised bid for intergalactic domination, Snappy opens a telepathic channel to the distant, lead-lined sarcophagus entombing the reviled Emperor Iridiot Floridian the Seventh for suggestions on how best to entice more acolytes to slavishly follow his every word........)

Crave (Snappy telepathically punctures lead lined sarcophagus and mind melds with reviled Emperor Iridiot Floridan the Seventh for moments of sheer terror. Iridiot Floridian prophecies imminent collapse of Coromandel ecosystem from toxic methane-laden cloacal stew. While the whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā crave endless offal, organ meat, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese, a low residue diet of insects and vermin is recommended. Iridian Floridian concludes with harrowing threats to remotely lobotomize the faithful whānau.)

 

[LaManuka]

Crave (Snappy telepathically punctures lead lined sarcophagus and mind melds with reviled Emperor Iridiot Floridan the Seventh for moments of sheer terror. Iridiot Floridian prophecies imminent collapse of Coromandel ecosystem from toxic methane-laden cloacal stew. While the whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā crave endless offal, organ meat, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese, a low residue diet of insects and vermin is recommended. Iridian Floridian concludes with harrowing threats to remotely lobotomize the faithful whānau.)

Raves (Iridian Floridian rants and raves his harrowing threats to remotely lobotomize the faithful and long suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā while simultaneously frying Snappy's primitive fictitious reptilian brain during telepathic interstellar mind meld. The hapless crocodile lapses into unconsciousness and is carted off to Whangārei hospital where a brain scan reveals unsurprising results!)

 

[Scott]

Raves (Iridian Floridian rants and raves his harrowing threats to remotely lobotomize the faithful and long suffering whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā while simultaneously frying Snappy's primitive fictitious reptilian brain during telepathic interstellar mind meld. The hapless crocodile lapses into unconsciousness and is carted off to Whangārei hospital where a brain scan reveals unsurprising results!)

Fears (Snippy's worse fears confirmed following Snappy's interstellar fried brain debacle. Whangārei hospital brain scan yielded charred lump of offal, surgically removed and served to staff as Tacos de Sesos.* Senior neurologist suggested fecal transplant to cranium in effort to restore Snappy's towering intellect and ferocity. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā eagerly line up to contribute finest cloacal discharges for analysis.)

*Brain tacos en español

 

[LaManuka]

Fears (Snippy's worse fears confirmed following Snappy's interstellar fried brain debacle. Whangārei hospital brain scan yielded charred lump of offal, surgically removed and served to staff as Tacos de Sesos.* Senior neurologist suggested fecal transplant to cranium in effort to restore Snappy's towering intellect and ferocity. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā eagerly line up to contribute finest cloacal discharges for analysis.)

*Brain tacos en español

Erase (Private brain care specialists at Whangārei hospital despair of ever being able to fully restore Snappy's towering intellect and ferocity. Despite highest quality cloacal discharges provided for fecal/cranial transplant provided by willing whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā it seems too much damage was done by interstellar mind meld brain frying debacle. Neurology boffins attempt to erase and reset Snappy's brain meaning he is reduced to singing kiddies' NZ nursery rhyme song over, and over, and over, amen, resolutely accompanied by ever faithful whānau.....)

Down by the sea,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a fish do a hula in a dish?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho."

Down by the lake,
Where the coma comas grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a snake do a hula in the lake?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho."

Down by the beach,
Where the pippis all grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a horse do a haka in the gorse?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho, ho ho."

 

[Scott]

Erase (Private brain care specialists at Whangārei hospital despair of ever being able to fully restore Snappy's towering intellect and ferocity. Despite highest quality cloacal discharges provided for fecal/cranial transplant provided by willing whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā it seems too much damage was done by interstellar mind meld brain frying debacle. Neurology boffins attempt to erase and reset Snappy's brain meaning he is reduced to singing kiddies' NZ nursery rhyme song over, and over, and over, amen, resolutely accompanied by ever faithful whānau.....)

��Down by the sea,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a fish do a hula in a dish?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho."

Down by the lake,
Where the coma comas grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a snake do a hula in the lake?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho."

Down by the beach,
Where the pippis all grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
For if I do,
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a horse do a haka in the gorse?
Down where the watermelons grow, oh ho ho ho, ho ho.��"

Arise (Despite heroic work by globally renown brain care specialists and pristine cloacal discharges provided for fecal/cranial transplant from hopeful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, Snappy's brain refused to arise from the depths of babble. SEI issued lucrative contract to Planet Vulcan for erecting massive radiation shield around earth, preventing sinister interstellar telepathic mind melds. Neurology boffins repeated erasure and reset of Snappy managed nothing more erudite than:

I knock the ice from my bones
Try not to feel the cold
Caught in the thought of that time
When everything was fine, everything was mine
Everything was fine, everything was mine
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
Run with my hands on my eyes
Blind, but I'm still alive
Free to go back on my own
But is it still a home when you're all alone
Is it still a home when you're all alone
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's…