Well, I guess I'll start. I have sensory issues, or medically, a semi-mild case of SPD, presistant tic disorder and possibly autism. Its hard cuz every day is a new challenge. Going on the bus, I need to wear earplugs or cover my ears. I need to stim a LOT, because that's just a SPD thing, but people look at me funny. Also, having sensory overload is really hard. No one in my family understands why I will go from covering my ears to sobbing and running to the bathroom when no one else seems bothered. Are there any other members who have sensory issues or a tic disorder? Anyhow, you can always post on this thread to talk about mental health. Also, I am always open to talk!
Love y'all!
Oliver Rose (female....for now)
Thank you for sharing this with everyone here. Mental health has gone far too long as something those of us who experience it have been made to feel some sense of shame about it which makes it all the more difficult to get help for so many.
So...heres some things I havenโt talked about in many years. Pretending none of it happened. Fair warning because itโs not something I normally talk this will be long. Actually everything I write tends to be long, which really one of my issues... which was an awesome issue to have when in university but not so much beyond. This may be a semi rant...Iโll just see where this goes.
I started having issues when I was in my teens and because my โbio dadโ was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic that was something some doctors liked to bring up. Incorrectly in my case.
I had many diagnoses thrown at me for years. One thing I donโt share with most people, or really anyone besides my husband or anyone because of the stigma behind it is that when I had my 18th birthday in the hospital, my doctor at the time (who has since lost his license) had convinced me that I needed Electro shock therapy. I being young and my first chance to legally make a decision for myself signed for it. He did 12 rounds of it that caused me to forget an entire year of my life. Only now am I starting to remember things. I have actually run into people that knew me and had told me all these stories about how they knew me and I had no recollection of it or them.
The medical bills were costing my parents so much living in the USA they sent me back to Canada which in turn triggered PTSD from things that happened when I lived there before. Things my family thought it was better not to talk about with the hopes I had been so young I wouldnโt remember. I cannot fault them for that.
Oh and side note the really bad doctor I had before I moved had me on so much medication that when I moved back to Canada the pharmacist called my grandmother and told her that he would not fill it because it was too much medication. He freaked out that I hadnโt had my organs shut down when she said itโs what I had been taking up until I moved back up there. Years later finding out that doctor lost his license for taking money and other โgiftsโ to write all these prescriptions for kids did not surprise me at all. I do wonder how many others there were like me. I donโt say โquackโ often because my grandfather was a general practitioner and had been one of the people I loved most, however that doctor was. It really made me think more on how important quality of care really is.
The majority of family did not understand any of it some even found it to be a source of entertainment, or my all time โfavoriteโ saying they couldnโt have me around because โI scared themโ. However I was fortunate that I had a few that got it and had shown me support and still do. I was in very good shape physically until I turned 20. I worked out obsessively (I now realize it was fear of gaining weight that did this) and when I was put on certain medication that caused weight gain I went from 98 lbs(Iโm only 5โ2) to 130lbs in a month. That kept going up making my weight double very quickly in under a year and having no energy to even get out of bed. That was probably the worst part of it since I had so many things I loved to do physically like running and boxing. My family loved to fat shame, even those I was close to making it worse like it was all my fault. This caused me depression when it didnโt exist before and social anxiety. When I got off those meds I lost weight and felt good getting the praise from them as I had before, however I have qualities far more important than what size of clothes I wear, I would have preferred praise for. I lost them gained it back again after having two kids. For years now itโs up and down. Only the last few years have I been able to see that my family is the problem in why my weight effects my mental health to the degree it does.This is something I struggle with each day while choking down a bowl of special K cereal with fat free milk! Thats a joke actually, some of it I actually prefer now.
My best friend in Canada once said very passionately that โfat happensโ while ranting about how some meds cause weight gain. We laugh about it now years later. I did a tshirt design of it for him because of all things that really stuck in my memory.
Iโm sorry you are dealing with family that donโt or wonโt understand. It makes it so much more difficult to try to figure things out when dealing with family that are not supportive. I began to feel very angry at everyone, but mostly myself when I was around family who did not โget itโ. I still hear the odd comment about โyou were faking itโ. Which is ridiculous when you consider I was a kid and if I was that good at acting to have convinced so many doctors for years all these things Iโd have had a few golden globes and a couple of Oscars by now!
I avoid spending too much time around certain members of my family which isnโt always easy. I understand not everyone is able to do it. I wasnโt able to for many years. Setting boundaries is good, enforcing those harder, but at times itโs all you can do.
Finding the right help makes a world of difference. It wasnโt until I was 27 that I had a wonderful doctor who began to notice things about me no one else did. He did not use my fathers illness, to rush to conclusions and instead correctly diagnosed me with ADHD. I will never forget the first time I walked in his office he asked me if I was creative. I didnโt answer just walked over to the guitar in his office and started playing the song โWhite roomโ (it was a white room). He spent weeks narrowing things down and explaining things to me like how I was an artist and could paint or draw almost anything yet could not draw basic shapes. He even pointed out my left handedness and terrible handwriting how that could all be signs of it that was missed. He got me on the medication I needed and off things that I didnโt. It changed my life immensely for the better.
I still have issues but not at all in the way I did before getting the proper treatment and the correct diagnosis. Having a good system in place is crucial. A therapist who can help you learn coping skills, and then a doctor who is willing to spend time to get you on right medication if medication is needed. Its good now we live in times where help can be found online without having to leave the home. Talking is what I find most helpful when itโs to the right person. Humor is my favorite way to deal with things. I sometimes force a laugh when I want to cry. Doesnโt always work but often it does.
It is important to recognize that help can be a challenge depending on where you live , access to treatment and cost of care (also depending on where you live and financial situation) even internet access can cause a set back for some. But itโs too important not to look. I ran into trouble a few years back with the doctor I see now. I was in my last term in university and had a lapse in insurance because of work. My doctor is awesome and had me do a few paintings around his office to pay for the visits. Had he not done that I doubt I would of been able to graduate.
Anyhow...Years later I have two sons, both diagnosed with ADHD. My oldest isnโt hyper active but has sensory to sound like you mention and trouble focusing. I first noticed the sound sensory when he was really young and would cover his ears and have a break down over the sound of the toilet flushing. When we took him to Disney World when he was 6 he hated it. The sounds were just too much for him. Reading much of what you wrote really reminds me of how he is. Actually helps me grasp some of what he must be feeling but still cannot articulate. Thank you so much for that!
My oldest son got our family into parrots and they have been exactly what we needed. I was not expecting that at all! My youngest son has also been diagnosed with ADHD as well with a speech delay and our big birdy boy Mummer has really helped him with his speech. They have been learning to talk with each other! My husband struggles with service related PTSD, and he finds having parrots in our home comforting. He loves to sing and they love to sing along. With me they are great company and inspire me to see see the world through parroty eyes! Which is a great way at looking at the world
It is true about how we all can learn a great deal from our feathered friends.
I cannot stress how glad I am to have found this forum! And thank you for starting this very important conversation many of us need to have. I really had to share that after keeping it in so long. Sorry about length. Itโs been years keeping it to myself.
ps. I donโt donโt think thereโs a label for whatever it is I am. Iโm sure there is only I donโt know what it is. Iโm attracted to personality. I never could understand my friends growing up who would be โin loveโ with someone they never even had a conversation with. Looks, sex or gender never has mattered to me much in attraction...I is what I is. Lol.
If you'd like to say more feel free.
But in my case and Newfie-N-Tx's case, it doesn't
