JadeC
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Ringnecks are good birds from what I know. I heard they get attached to one person though.
My girlfriend has a phobia of birds.
- Thread starter Chassy13
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KeroRocks
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- Feb 20, 2013
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A blue and gold stepped up for you and said Hi? I would be melting... I've never had that happen and I've met a lot of Blue and Golds.
You might want to consider a Blue Crown Conure. Slightly bigger than a Green Cheek and the best talkers of the conures. They are very friendly and speak very clearly. They are super intelligent and do really well if you want to train them.
They don't tend to pick one person as long as both people spend time with them.
Ringnecks do tend to be one person birds. It's terrible when it's your bird and they pick your partner and want nothing to do with you.
You might want to consider a Blue Crown Conure. Slightly bigger than a Green Cheek and the best talkers of the conures. They are very friendly and speak very clearly. They are super intelligent and do really well if you want to train them.
They don't tend to pick one person as long as both people spend time with them.
Ringnecks do tend to be one person birds. It's terrible when it's your bird and they pick your partner and want nothing to do with you.
JadeC
New member
You could just keep visiting and see what kind of bird you like the most and your gf will have more exposure that way too!!
Birdman666
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1. I WOULDN'T DO IT UNLESS SHE IS ALSO UP FOR IT... It's different if you already have a bird. But to bring one into the picture where it is feared and unwanted isn't fair to your girlfriend or the bird...
2. The only way to overcome a fear is to confront it and move past it. If she's has no desire, or is not ready to do that, it's not going to happen.
3. You can't MAKE someone want to do something. They want to, or they don't. (See, not fair to your girlfriend or the bird, above.)
Birdman666
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- Presently have six Greenwing Macaw (17 yo), Red Fronted Macaw (12 yo), Red Lored Amazon (17 y.o.), Lilac Crowned Amazon (about 43 y.o.) and a Congo African Grey (11 y.o.)
Panama Amazon (1 Y.O.)
Having said that, I would take her to something like a bird fair, and just go and look around and get information on what is out there. Perhaps something will catch her eye, and click with her personality.
JadeC
New member
Well, if you read towards the end of thread, he says he's done that and she's getting over her fear and willing to keep the interest.
Tangie
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After reading all of your updates Chassy, I believe your girl friend has tons of potential. Even though she still has a phobia, I don't think it's as bad as it could be. I think there is a good chance she will get over her fear. She might not necessarily be a 'bird person', but maybe she can tolerate them and enjoy watching them from a distance.
I would take things slow and show her the good and calm qualities of the parrots. Once she seems content enough, I would take steps closer and show her a parrot sanctuary and the loud and 'fluttery' qualities of the bird. Slowly but surely.( I know you brought her to a sanctuary so that's a step closer).
I personally wouldn't recommend a budgie or finches, canaries, ext, as their very small, active, and fluttery, especially if she would interact with them. Green cheek conures are nice birds. And really small. I loooove Indian Ringnecks because they have such a cute voice and their pretty. But they are one-person birds, and they are rather nippy and grouchy. Very much so. On top of that, they go through a 'bluffing faze' during their adolescent months, and that can put a damper on their owner's mood for a while. Their slightly bigger than a Cockatiel. I would reccomend them to many people, but not to someone who has a bird phobia. (Although actually if she would only want to just sit and listen to his cute voice, having one might work).
I would reccomend a Conure of some sorts, although some of them can have very loud voices. Some species are one-person birds, too. But I don't really think 'one-person birds' are your worry, unless the parrot would love your girlfriend more than you, and she hates him/her.
I would take things slow and show her the good and calm qualities of the parrots. Once she seems content enough, I would take steps closer and show her a parrot sanctuary and the loud and 'fluttery' qualities of the bird. Slowly but surely.( I know you brought her to a sanctuary so that's a step closer).
I personally wouldn't recommend a budgie or finches, canaries, ext, as their very small, active, and fluttery, especially if she would interact with them. Green cheek conures are nice birds. And really small. I loooove Indian Ringnecks because they have such a cute voice and their pretty. But they are one-person birds, and they are rather nippy and grouchy. Very much so. On top of that, they go through a 'bluffing faze' during their adolescent months, and that can put a damper on their owner's mood for a while. Their slightly bigger than a Cockatiel. I would reccomend them to many people, but not to someone who has a bird phobia. (Although actually if she would only want to just sit and listen to his cute voice, having one might work).
I would reccomend a Conure of some sorts, although some of them can have very loud voices. Some species are one-person birds, too. But I don't really think 'one-person birds' are your worry, unless the parrot would love your girlfriend more than you, and she hates him/her.
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Can anyone please explain the whole "one-person bird" concept? How severe is it? How common is it among ringnecks and conures?
I would be kind of nervous about the bird bonding to her and absolutely hating me...but how likely is that to where I can't involve myself at all with interacting with the parrot?
I'd really like the parrot to have some sort of speaking ability. This is NOT the only thing I'm looking for in a parrot, but I feel like a decent talking ability (such as the ringneck) would promote interaction with it from other people (like my girlfriend). Conures, especially the suns who just are a constant screeching, don't have that. Is the blue crown conure a big difference between the others? I love the voice of the ringnecks, their look, their size, everything...but this whole "one-person bird" characteristic is throwing me off. I've done research on the bluffing stage and how you just have to ignore it.
I would be kind of nervous about the bird bonding to her and absolutely hating me...but how likely is that to where I can't involve myself at all with interacting with the parrot?
I'd really like the parrot to have some sort of speaking ability. This is NOT the only thing I'm looking for in a parrot, but I feel like a decent talking ability (such as the ringneck) would promote interaction with it from other people (like my girlfriend). Conures, especially the suns who just are a constant screeching, don't have that. Is the blue crown conure a big difference between the others? I love the voice of the ringnecks, their look, their size, everything...but this whole "one-person bird" characteristic is throwing me off. I've done research on the bluffing stage and how you just have to ignore it.
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cateyes221981
New member
i dont think the bird will choose ur gf over you, soon as you start to be the one taking care of the bird and giving it attention the bird is just going to care about you, like my birds never cared for my roomates.
I don;t think you are going to have a problem as long as your gf is okay with a bird on your lap instead of her
they love attention and want to interact a lot and be out of their cage all day. so as long as she can live with that i think u wont have an issue, She d oes not have to want to hold or carry the bird because it is your bird.
WHen i use to live with my parents my parents never gave my birds attention and my birds did not crave theirs.
a macaw might be over kill as your first bird together a macaw can really scare a person, you can always get one in the future but for now i think its good to start with a smaller bird, she wont be that scared of it
a macaw can scare many people that are not even scared of birds, a angry macaw or cockatoo could scare me easy and i have had birds since i was a kid. But your gf does not have to love the bird just as long as shes okay with it.
I don;t think you are going to have a problem as long as your gf is okay with a bird on your lap instead of her
they love attention and want to interact a lot and be out of their cage all day. so as long as she can live with that i think u wont have an issue, She d oes not have to want to hold or carry the bird because it is your bird.
WHen i use to live with my parents my parents never gave my birds attention and my birds did not crave theirs.
a macaw might be over kill as your first bird together a macaw can really scare a person, you can always get one in the future but for now i think its good to start with a smaller bird, she wont be that scared of it
a macaw can scare many people that are not even scared of birds, a angry macaw or cockatoo could scare me easy and i have had birds since i was a kid. But your gf does not have to love the bird just as long as shes okay with it.
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- Dec 18, 2013
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Hi, Chassy13. I don't have any experience with phobias, but I think that the approach you have taken so far is a really good one. Both you and your girlfriend should be commended. She obviously cares very much about you to be trying so hard, and you are doing everything you can to be considerate of her feelings. I hope it all works out and she is able to overcome her fear.
As for your question on one person birds, a lot depends on the individual bird, and a lot also depends on the training given to that individual bird. My previous bird was a sweet cockatiel who acted like the sun rose and set on me. He had become a one person bird, but his way of expressing it was relatively harmless. Basically, he would only be content to remain in my wife's hands if I was nowhere in sight. (Or earshot.) The instant he would realize that I was nearby, he would fuss and quarrel with her fingers (you cockatiel owners know what I mean. No bird can "fuss and quarrel" like a'tiel!) nipping painlessly but noisily to make it abundantly clear to me that he was being held completely against his will! (Despite being content just seconds before he caught sight of me. Lol! I do miss that bird!)
Other cases, however, can be more extreme. Some birds will go so far as to attack their "rival" for their favored person's affections. Or nip at their favored person in a case of displaced aggression.
And this is where the training comes in. For one, there is a chance that I might've avoided my 'tiel becoming a one-person bird if I had taken steps to properly socialize him with other people. (Unfortunately, I didn't know then what I do now.) Making it a point to have other people handle him regularly could have made him a little more accepting of others' affections, even if he did still have a favorite.
And this is a good practice even when dealing with parrots that are pair bond birds in nature. A bird that might otherwise have attacked a rival could be trained not to indulge that impulse. It would just probably be a little more difficult than it might be with a bird more oriented toward a group dynamic.
Socialization is key. Anyhow, I've rambled on enough. Again, I wish you both the best in your search.
As for your question on one person birds, a lot depends on the individual bird, and a lot also depends on the training given to that individual bird. My previous bird was a sweet cockatiel who acted like the sun rose and set on me. He had become a one person bird, but his way of expressing it was relatively harmless. Basically, he would only be content to remain in my wife's hands if I was nowhere in sight. (Or earshot.) The instant he would realize that I was nearby, he would fuss and quarrel with her fingers (you cockatiel owners know what I mean. No bird can "fuss and quarrel" like a'tiel!) nipping painlessly but noisily to make it abundantly clear to me that he was being held completely against his will! (Despite being content just seconds before he caught sight of me. Lol! I do miss that bird!)
Other cases, however, can be more extreme. Some birds will go so far as to attack their "rival" for their favored person's affections. Or nip at their favored person in a case of displaced aggression.
And this is where the training comes in. For one, there is a chance that I might've avoided my 'tiel becoming a one-person bird if I had taken steps to properly socialize him with other people. (Unfortunately, I didn't know then what I do now.) Making it a point to have other people handle him regularly could have made him a little more accepting of others' affections, even if he did still have a favorite.
And this is a good practice even when dealing with parrots that are pair bond birds in nature. A bird that might otherwise have attacked a rival could be trained not to indulge that impulse. It would just probably be a little more difficult than it might be with a bird more oriented toward a group dynamic.
Socialization is key. Anyhow, I've rambled on enough. Again, I wish you both the best in your search.
BoomBoom
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This can definitely happen. When me and my ex used to live together, we took Boomer home. Boomer seemed to favor him more than me initially. But because I spent more time doing stuff with Boomer (feeding, playing, taking him outdoors), his favor gradually shifted towards me. My ex slowly became less favored. He got nipped at more often to the point of drawing blood in some instances. Boomer tries to poop on him whilst perch on his shoulder just so he could get back to his perch or me. Now that my ex has moved out, when he comes to visit, Boomer will actually fly to attack him. LOL yes I've got a little murderous sun conure.
The point is, the amount of time you spend with the bird does factor in building a bond. It is not absolute but definitely an influential factor.
I am more concerned in your case, if it comes to a point the bird favors you (very good chance), he might be aggressive to your girlfriend. How will she handle it then, you think? Good socialization will come in handy here so as to avoid it, but it is definitely an important consideration.
- Thread starter
- #55
I'm not sure I really have much choice if that happens. I'd have to attempt to get it socialize with both of us over time, but I can't force the bird to love both of us if it bonds to only one. I would just have to manage my time accordingly with the bird and keep trying to socialize it. Do I have much other choice? I couldn't be the only person with a problem/worry like this. 
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BoomBoom
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I'm sure if you both equally put in the time to socialize the bird, he will grow to like you both. It's happened any times with other people. 
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