Neptune is lost

[noodles123]

You are awesome and you are so so so very clearly a good mom.

I don't want to make you feel like you have to hope forever, but I am the type of person who does..which can be good or bad...

I cannot say what will happen with all of this, and I don't want you to give up, but I also don't want to hurt you by saying not to. I would push people to never give up, but that can be overwhelming, so please don't feel pressured by me..

There are cases of parrots returning home after very long periods of time.
There are also cases of parrots not making it in the wild.

Obviously you have thought about both possibilities, but I do NOT think you are crazy for continuing to look...I really don't. I know it could be that something happened (as do you) but no one knows, so I guess I just want to say that I am with you and I am sorry and I wish I could help.

If one day your gut tells you that it is time to stop, then stop, but only if you have really thought it through (not in some emotional moment). If it were me, regardless of how it turned out, I would just want to look back and know I did what I thought I needed to do...And I think you are doing that- and I applaud you for that.

I also want to say that Quakers are EXTREMELY good at surviving in the wild...unlike some parrots...hence their banned status in many places within the US..So if you do get to a point where you decide to stop, I don't think you should necessarily assume the worst. Pet Quakers have made colonies in many states, which is why they are considered invasive lol! So, keep that in your back pocket if you are feeling sad...Not that you want him invading anything LOL! but...the fact that they are survivors.

That doesn't mean you have to look forever, but that also means that things may not be as bad as you assume.

 

[birbsRcool]

I suggest widening your search and taking another bird of yours with you in a carrier, perhaps Neptune's best friend, and letting him/her call for him. I agree with noodles123 and one day it might feel like time to stop looking, he might choose the free life

 

[Laurasea]

I exist in a state of both outcomes, that he has passed, and that he is alive and awaiting rescue , it’s a very difficult place to be

I’m reading an article
“A neurologist perspective on loss and grief and our brain “
The emotional trauma of loss results in change in brain functions that endure... Scientists are starting to view traumatic loss ( an unexpected death of a loved one will before the expected natural cycle) as a type of traumatic brain injury in the surviving loved one. This emotional trauma effects the brain and the body. Also the brain is flooded with flight or flight hormones, so the brain works to filter memories...so you are not overwhelmed , sometimes erasing them.........

For me the loss of Neptune is traumatic, plus I’m directly responsible fir his escape....
I can say my brain is trying to dump the memory of him to help me, I’m having to fight to hold onto memories of him..,

 

[fiddlejen]

I went to some different neighborhood calling and talked to a few people even tho I st risk and seriously worried about being in the new epicenter of the virus...

Please be Careful. Your other birds do Not want to Lose You too.

 

[Talven]

I feel for your loss especially as I have not long been through the same thing. Luckily I was able to recover Ari and get some closure.

I imagine that Neptune has met up with some of the wild Quakers that are in Florida and he is impressing all the girls with his lovely blue plumage. While that doesn't help your loss maybe it's a better thing to imagine while you search than other choices.

 

[Scott]

Honestly Laura, I suspect the odds are 70/30 in favor of Neptune being alive, either foraging for himself (and hopefully in the company of friendlies) or in someone's custody.

I also deeply care about your well being and potentially adapting to the unknown. Continuing to post flyers, speaking with neighbors, and notifying businesses is a sort of returning to the basics of searching and leveraging more eyes than before. You'll know when it is time to scale back.

 

[T00tsyd]

Be careful - you are coming to the crossroads where you have to make a choice. The one direction leads you to ongoing despair and regret and the other a return to some normality and the ability to see a way through.

The one fact that you have is that Neptune has gone. After that there were sightings and you heard him but the truth is that you no longer know where he might be. He may not be here at all. Whichever, it is your choice which is rapidly approaching to take yourself back to a place where you can safely continue for the sake of your other commitments but more importantly for your own health and wellbeing.

This is when it gets harsh. I don't know you apart from your postings here and I have followed and felt your heartache as time has passed and I agree that any loss particularly when it feels like your fault is traumatic. It was an accident. It is an accident that happens to many and will happen in the future to many others. But it was still an accident.

You have done everything that you can possibly expect of yourself and I for one am full of admiration for your tenacity and determination but now barring a miracle, after so long, you know he is gone. He may be with new parronts, he may be flying free and loving it, but much as we may hope and believe that he has human traits in the end he is a bird. He is bright by all accounts but he has his instincts too and although he loved you as you loved him it could be that he is flying free and happy. That is the picture I would suggest you cling to.

Be strong now for you. You now are the most important person in this. Without you so many others will suffer. It is hard not to have some sort of closure but here is the tough bit. You can't change that. If lady luck is working for you one day you may hear what happened, but you may never know. It is time to turn your thoughts to the good times that you shared and to be kind to yourself. You need to focus on healing you and the mental trauma that you have suffered. You are your priority now, it is a slippery slope to real despair and no-one deserves that. You are at the crossroads - be strong.

 

[Laurasea]

Well I did a brief look st 530 to 615 but with heat index of 107 nothing was moving, I wanted to try that later time because I’m nit out there st that time very often

One thing I know at fifty.... I haven’t gotten anything in this life I wanted without a lot of work, of pushing past when things get hard, or trying, or stressful, so if there is a chance he is still out there I will keep trying...... I’m hoping he can keep surviving until it cools off a little and maybe he will be more active fir longer during the day giving me better search hours...

All of your replies mean so much to me, often I re read them because I am usually crying,, but that’s therapeutic because I don’t cry by myself very well so with you guys I feel I’m not alone, sbd I know you feel the same love for your birds

If somebody found him and decided to keep him.... I would be happy he was alive...?and after the honeymoon period was over and he started all that screeching ( ) that they would have a change of heart and return him to me......

 

[HannahandSunny]

I can’t believe I’ve only just seen this thread. I am SO so sorry for what you are going through, gosh. my heart really feels your pain. Please don’t blame yourself, it was an accident, and he always knew love and you’ll always be in each other’s hearts. Don’t give up hope but take care of yourself and try your best to accept what may have happened. I know it was different with me ‘losing’ Sunny.. But I understand.. I feel a twang if pain in my heart when I think of him and what could of happened, it’s the unknown that hurts the most.. But slowly, over time our soul starts to repair.
Thinking of you xx

 

[BoomBoom]

Hi Laurasea,

I haven't been around the forums as much lately and just happened upon your thread. I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. I want you to know that I am thinking and praying for you and your flock. Stay strong.

 

[Laurasea]

Thank yiu Boom Boom,
I have been grieving.. and looking every few days...
I looked and called fir a couple hours yesterday, and drove around and stopped and listened today just after sunrise today...

Yesterday I really cried a lot, but then my tablet did a memories picture thing, and it cheered me to see all the happy pictures of him, and how I spoiled him

 

[BoomBoom]

You took great care of Neptune, above and beyond. That is undeniable.

I was thinking of you last night and how strong you've been throughout this ordeal. Keep channeling those emotions. Treat yourself with care. I will continue to pray and wish for the best outcome.

 

[bonita]

Dear Laurasea, Will keep you and neptune in my prayers.You have been a great parront. Blessings Bonita

 

[Laurasea]

It still gutts me every day that he is gone. I don’t know if it’s time to post under bereavment... I certainly feel the grief
He is my screen saver on my phone, so I see him and it hurts , but I don’t want to take him off because it’s like giving up you know?

But I feel the hope to , and I don’t want to give up
I’m headed out to the last place I heard him a month ago ,?, then to move posters around

 

[BoomBoom]

I wish I could say something to lessen your pain a little. Sending positive thoughts your way and hoping for a restful and calm sleep for you tonight.

 

[Laurasea]

Unusual development...
Twice I’ve thought I saw a parrot flying near my house, it appears bigger than a Quaker but has the same long tail... my eyes and the distance all I could see was outline no color.

I thought I saw a little bit ago so I chased down my birds put them ion, got my dog and was walking my road calling.
My neighbors stopped me and asked did my bird just live free and follow me like that?? I was like what!?!?$? They said a couple days ago I was walking down the road and what they thought was a parrot was following behind me tree to tree!!!!!! They thought it was the neatest thing !
I will be out searching my neighborhood again , oh please let my Neptune be so smart to have found his way home!

 

[Scott]

It would be a huge help if your neighbors could take pics with their smartphones whenever they see a bird resembling Neptune.

 

[saxguy64]

Laura, that's incredible! Fingers, toes, and everything else crossed for you, and more prayers and positivity on the way as always.

 

[wrench13]

WOW, an interesting development !! Lets all hope........

 

[Laurasea]

It would be a huge help if your neighbors could take pics with their smartphones whenever they see a bird resembling Neptune.

I asked why she didn’t say anything two days ago ! She said she thought I was talking to him and having him follow me on purpose,,, she did say blue and bigger than a bluebird so I can hope! I had all 4 dogs with me and stopped st my other neighbors house and they all barking like crazy so I can understand why he wouldn’t land on me if it was him...
If I had to guess I would say I’ve seen an Indian ringneck.... I can understand why non bird people have trouble identifying, as I’m the parrot girl and I couldn’t..

Also a different neighbor knocked on my door this morning to show me a parakeet that was yellow that had been found and shed if it was Neptune, she walked right by the poster I have up with a picture of my blue Quaker to ask this.... I offers to help or house the budgie, it was in a different part of town and she said the finder was taking care of

My town also has a lose African Grey right now too.
So you all hang onto your babies and take extra care!!!