WELCOME!
Thanks for doing your research--I wrote a small book (reply)-EEK!
The lifestyle changes will be gigantic. These include cleaning routines, pet safety, sleep schedules, cooking changes etc.
VERY IMPORTANT- If you do get a bird, any sort of heated mechanism (anything that heats or is heated) and contains PTFE/PFOA/PFCs/Teflon will be out of the question--This includes things like pots, pans, cupcake trays, cookie sheets, cake pans etc, but it will also things like include hair-dryers, straighteners, curling irons, curlers, rice-cookers, SLOW COOKERS, popcorn poppers, air fryers, microwave meals (including certain types of microwave popcorn), steamers, irons, ironing board covers, electric skillets, griddles, George Foreman Grills, drip trays, toasters, toaster ovens, poaching pans, electric blankets, humidifiers, heat lamps, SPACE HEATERS, etc etc...To find out what contains PTFE/PFOA/PFCs/Teflon, you have to call and be a bull about it over the phone (and in some cases, you won't get far). Almost always, it will take a few days for them to get back to you and you must provide the full chemical names, abbreviations and brand-names. Shopping when you have a bird is super annoying..You cannot visually ID these chemical coatings, as they can be colored, transparent, or mixed into metal/fabric during the manufacturing process. Teflon and chemically similar products have killed birds on separate floors with the doors shut. Similarly, while DuPont claims that off-gassing only occurs at higher heats, there have been myriad parrot deaths (even within academic circles) at temperatures well within the 300 degree F range!
Think about all of the products you own currently and know that many of them will have to go (toasters, irons, griddles, pans etc etc etc).
Also realize that neither you, nor anyone in your household will be able to break ignore this rule or shop without researching ptfe/pfoa/teflon/pfcs once you get a bird.
Your bird should wake up about 12 hours after it goes to bed. They need 10-14 hours of dark, uninterrupted sleep. Sleep=essential to hormonal and immune function. This means that someone must be there to cover and uncover the bird at the same time each night and that your home must be conducive to sleep...or you must have a sleep cage in a quiet room. If I wake up in the morning and am moving around, my bird wakes up too (even if she didn't get enough sleep). This means that I have to plan her bedtime based on my morning wake-up time. She goes to bed at 5:30 because I wake up at 5:30 for work. She will fall asleep in the evening if there is some mild noise etc, but after sleeping for many hours, she will wake up and be ready to be uncovered even if she hasn't gotten enough sleep.
They need a decent routine (light/dark schedule), so a 6:00 PM work dinner cannot stand in the way of a bird's dinner and sleep schedule...Late nights at work become a thing of the past...You have to come home and put your bird to bed (and socialize with it beforehand).
VERY IMPORTANT:-Make sure (and your family) aren't using any unsafe products around the bird. This is pretty much everything with a scent (and some things without).
No perfume, carpet cleaner, flea shampoo, aerosols, solvents, air fresheners, paints, smoke of any kind, vaping, sunscreen, bugspray, candles of any kind (organic or non), insecticides, certain soaps/shampoos, fire-places, burning or heated oil/fat, self-cleaning ovens, gas and any standard household cleaners (e.g., bleach, windex, lysol, fabreeze, scrubbing bubbles, kaboom, pine-sol etc), nail polish, glue...You will seriously have to re-think your entire home and your cleaning routine will change a ton.
The list goes on. Birds have VERY sensitive respiratory systems. Essential oils are also fairly unsafe due to their ability to be absorbed into the blood-stream and due to a bird's sensitive air sacs.
This also makes traveling with a bird complicated, as it is very unsafe to bring your bird with you into a location where teflon or chemical cleaners are being used. Unless you are visiting close family and you can give them a 30 hour instructional course on eliminating respiratory dangers from their homes before you get there, it is going to be a bad idea to take your bird (and no one wants to be a pushy guest!).
Also, know that people can have fairly severe allergies to birds and their dander. I would make sure that you and your family spend a lot of time around birds in case anyone is sensitive. If you have asthma etc, this could be problematic, even with an air filter running. Even people who don't have asthma can have serious bird issues. If your mother requires a very sterile environment in the home, you will have trouble cleaning/sanitizing with a bird due to restrictions on chemicals/fumes in the home. Vinegar +water or grapefuit seed extract + water are pretty much the only safe cleaners. There are some veterinary grade avian safe products like F10 SC, but seriously sanitizing surfaces is tough with a bird.
ALL BIRDS ARE LOUD! As a rule, the bigger the bird, the louder the sound...Doesn't matter what type you get (although some are louder than others, even the "quiet" varieties are loud). Since when they scream for attention you MUST ignore them until they are quiet, this can lead to hours of screaming at inopportune times early on. For example, nap-times, business calls, when guests are over for dinner etc..You just have to wait it out because, while attending to the bird will stop the screaming, it will increase the behavior pattern in the long run and teach them that if they scream, they get your attention (good or bad---doesn't matter to them).
Birds hide illness like crazy, so there is nothing intuitive about their diseases. You have to be ready to study your birds poop and behavior daily, because even the slightest change can be a huge indicator. Blood work must be done yearly and should be done soon after you get a new bird. They can spread deadly diseases to other birds without showing symptoms---it's a giant pain. Make sure that you have a certified avian vet (CAV) near you. Exotics vets who see birds are not the same thing. If you don't have a CAV near you, your life will be much more anxiety-ridden than if you do (and the difference between a CAV and an exotics vet can mean the difference between life and death for your bird in certain instances). Also, be prepared to spend a lot of money on vet bills ....birds are like money pits.
Behavior stuff:
DO NOT assume that all members of the family will be able to safely handle the bird. It doesn't matter how much time you spend with a bird--some birds just prefer certain people....AND others may become the source of violent jealously (not always, but it can and does happen). If the "favorite" person is out for the evening, the person picking up the slack may get bitten etc, and that can wear on a person over time. Again--- not all birds are like this, but many are and even with proper socialization, there can still be issues in this area. There is really no way of knowing what you will end up with because they change so much over time (depending on environment, triggers, socialization, hormones and individual bird personality).
If you get a bird, pet your bird only on the head and do not allow any shadowy spaces in the cage (boxes, bedding, crumbled paper, tents, blankets, low furniture, in clothing etc)..Cuddles are the devil...and so are tents/huts/hammocks etc. These things are hormonal triggers and they can cause health and behavior problems.
Also- do not assume that a bird's personality as a baby or even when adopted will stay that way forever. Babies are much quieter and much nicer than adults and all birds change when they hit sexual maturity. The age at which sexual maturity occurs varies by species, but it can take a few months to 7 years (depending on the species). Birds are often rehomed at puberty because their allegiances can change and they can appear to transform over night. Preventing hormonal triggers early on is huge in avoiding some of this, but it can't be avoided completely.
If you get a bird and are bitten, DO NOT react to bites and do not scold. This is VERY difficult for most adults (let alone children). They pick up on your tension and are very astute. If you are fearful, they will know it and react to it. If you haven't been bitten hard by a larger parrot, it is hard to imagine the level of composure and confidence that are required to persevere and to not react. Smaller birds, like cockatiels can still draw blood, but they won't break a child's finger. A bite hurts--- even from a small bird, and it is easy to say that you won't react, but this can be quite difficult for people who haven't been bitten numerous times before. It can really become a source of fear for people because the more frightened and reactive they are, the more the bird picks up on that...which changes bird behavior.
If you get a bird and they scream, DO NOT react to screaming and do not scold. Again, everyone who interacts with the bird must not react. Birds move in slow-motion and can "out-stubborn" the most willful of humans. You cannot give in to the temptation to attend to the behavior.
ABA is an important behavior concept that you should research thoroughly if you are getting a parrot--especially the larger varieties (even the small ones are VERY intelligent, so don't assume that a small bird is less brainy-- they just are capable of less damage).
Long term-it can be VERY difficult to have a parrot with a young child or non-bird person in the house...My mother is 60+ and I am still trying to train her to not react to biting and screaming when we visit...Everyone has to be on the same page...My ex was on board when I adopted mine, but he became fairly resentful of the time and lifestyle changes that it required...
