Hello all.
I just want to come here to the āoff topicā forum and just write this thread as a way to vent and cope with what Iām feeling right now. Itās a way of expressing my feelings onto paper but really, itās on a screen for now.
I donāt plan to make this a long thread because Iām kind of tired but I just donāt feel like I want to live here despite me being 19 and fully capable of moving out, I canāt because of money issues and parents being over controlling.
I live in a quite dysfunctional family where my brother is so unwelcomed simply because he got married to who he loved and got kicked out by my parents. Who knows that some parents can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood and still hate on them even though thatās your own child. And you couldnāt tolerate his own decisions that heās making AS AN ADULT. Thatās just sad to me.
Now that heās gone, all the pressure is on me to finish college, (my brother dropped out) and to do something with my life that Iām not even that fond of doing. All just because Iām being forced to do it, no one asked if that what I wanted to do. All my parents want out of me is to be proof to my brother that college equals success since he dropped out and theyāre still holding grudges. I just simply donāt agree with that ideology. Itās so flawed.
My parents donāt hit me, but theyāre emotionally abusive. They still are to my brother as well. And heāa having a baby with his wife and how could they just wish bad for the child like that? Someone who isnāt even born yet? Thatās disgusting. Iām just glad Iāll be moving out very soon. To be honest, my father is not terrible like my mother is but they both still have a lot of work to do on healing and letting go of the past because they both have super toxic moments. And I mean toxic. Like youād be scared for them. Iām just so so so glad I have 2 birds who understand me as I go through this. My sun conure sometimes just watches me haha. But my umbrella cockatoo has bonded to me so much that he kind of knows what Iām feeling in the moment and I know this because when Iām sad, he just looks at me and comes to me to make me feel better I think. He just comes and hangs out on me every time he sees me cry or knows something isnāt right. Itās beautiful. Iāve never seen such a thing out of an animal before... or felt such a connection
I just want to come here to the āoff topicā forum and just write this thread as a way to vent and cope with what Iām feeling right now. Itās a way of expressing my feelings onto paper but really, itās on a screen for now.
I donāt plan to make this a long thread because Iām kind of tired but I just donāt feel like I want to live here despite me being 19 and fully capable of moving out, I canāt because of money issues and parents being over controlling.
I live in a quite dysfunctional family where my brother is so unwelcomed simply because he got married to who he loved and got kicked out by my parents. Who knows that some parents can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood and still hate on them even though thatās your own child. And you couldnāt tolerate his own decisions that heās making AS AN ADULT. Thatās just sad to me.
Now that heās gone, all the pressure is on me to finish college, (my brother dropped out) and to do something with my life that Iām not even that fond of doing. All just because Iām being forced to do it, no one asked if that what I wanted to do. All my parents want out of me is to be proof to my brother that college equals success since he dropped out and theyāre still holding grudges. I just simply donāt agree with that ideology. Itās so flawed.
My parents donāt hit me, but theyāre emotionally abusive. They still are to my brother as well. And heāa having a baby with his wife and how could they just wish bad for the child like that? Someone who isnāt even born yet? Thatās disgusting. Iām just glad Iāll be moving out very soon. To be honest, my father is not terrible like my mother is but they both still have a lot of work to do on healing and letting go of the past because they both have super toxic moments. And I mean toxic. Like youād be scared for them. Iām just so so so glad I have 2 birds who understand me as I go through this. My sun conure sometimes just watches me haha. But my umbrella cockatoo has bonded to me so much that he kind of knows what Iām feeling in the moment and I know this because when Iām sad, he just looks at me and comes to me to make me feel better I think. He just comes and hangs out on me every time he sees me cry or knows something isnāt right. Itās beautiful. Iāve never seen such a thing out of an animal before... or felt such a connection
