Adusting to life without him :-(

[Remy]

I don't think I'm going a good job of adjusting to life without Puck. I miss him soo much. I didn't work for almost a week after he passed, partially due to the 4th of July. I just keep thinking about him and missing him. He went everywhere with me when I was home, and often when I wasn't home. It took some adjusting to start showering by myself, and going to bed without him in the room with me. It's harder to get out of bed, because I don't have a colorful little party trying to wake me up. I've been pretty grumpy with my boyfriend (and in general), and haven't wanted to be at home at all lately.

I dreamed that I got another caique, and in the dream I was very unhappy with the new bird. I mean, I liked it, but I kept thinking that it wasn't as good as Puck was. I guess I'm worried that if I get another bird, it won't be as perfect for me as he was. A little moodiness aside, he was perfect for me.

I'm going to go pick up his ashes from the vet later today. I think I will try to have a little service for him this weekend, but I don't know anything about how to do that. I don't know if I should reserve a spot at a park, or if we should just show up somewhere.

 

[Grenage]

I'm so sorry to hear about Puck, you have my condolences.

Regarding the ashes, it doesn't have to be anything formal or textbook. You could spread the ashes somewhere you enjoy being, or think that Puck would like; somewhere you can visit, or have a picnic, and honour his memory. Regardless of what you do, you'll always have him in your heart, which is the spot that matters.

 

[dishgal1]

My heart is breaking for you. I can't imagine how it must feel. If you are considering another bird maybe you should get a different breed....that way maybe you wouldn't always be comparing him to Puck.
Green cheek conures are so interactive it is amazing. They are part of everything you do. Sun Conures are great too but not really as much personality I don't think as the green cheeks. Gcc's are just like miniature people the way they interact. Just a thought and I hope things get better for you. He will always be in your heart no matter what. So sorry for your loss.

 

[merlinsmom13]

I'm so sorry Remy, I can't imagine how you feel. I think I would allow myself to grieve for Puck & then decide about another bird. That way you'll know that is because you want another bird, not another Puck. We all know they'll never be another Puck. I bet there is another bird waiting for you when you're ready.

 

[Mayden]

Oh Remy I know it's so heartbreaking. I remember when my Wonsy passed and just everything triggered me off crying, missing her. It was only the other day when I woke up and thought Wonsy was sat on my hand as she used to do on the weekends when my boyfriend would let her out before I woke up.

This ache will not leave you. And I bet it feels more than an ache right now... a black hole in your heart. I think I cried like a wounded animal so often... You're not alone trying to get through this. I suggest lots of picture and video watching of Puck and thinking of all the wonderful times you had and cry. Cry cry cry, it will help. We're all here if you want to talk about him endlessly.

I wanted another blue and white budgie like Wonsy, but steered clear for the same reason (got my albino, Lucie). I wanted another bird but I didn't want to be comparing her to Wonsy or trying to 'replace' her.

My heart really breaks for you. It was 2 years ago for me and it's so hard. Don't rush anything. The ashes idea is lovely - go spread them somewhere he loved to be. Or maybe plant a flower and have his ashes mixed in with the plants roots, etc?

Puck knows his mom loved him, he was happy and he made you happy. He'd done his job here. xxxx

 

[LauraT]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain, as I recently lost my Quaker of 16 yrs. I was devastated and wept at the drop of the hat missing his every funny charming move. I was unsure if i would bring home another bird, but long story short, I did and within a short amount of time. I also was worried I would compare them, so brought home a Senegal, a bird I knew nothing about but he chose me. Totally different bird, I do not compare them. It helped heal my heart, brought birdy joy back to our home and I think he is equally as awesome, in a totally different way.

Only you will know the right decision, the right time, and the right bird if it is meant to be. Go with your heart and allow yourself to cry and grieve. We all understand and are here for you.

 

[ann]

im so sorry remy. its hard now, but it gets better with time. hang a picture of him up in your house. also, you can scatter his ashes, but maybe keep a little pouch of his ashes behind and make a liitle shrine in your room. put the pouch on your nightstand with a picture of him and a little electric candle, a silk flower, and if your religious, (i don't want to offend, I'm just making suggestions) place a small statue of St. Francis by the shrine. this way when you wake up, you see a beautiful tribute to him. I keep a lock of maxie's (my cat RIP) hair in a little box on my nightstand, you could use a little feather. You can even send feathers in to a company that makes jewelry out of molted feathers and sends them back to you to wear and remember. to help you get out of bed, do something new every day like cook a new recipe every day, or go for a walk someplace new or to a different restaurant every week. paint pictures of him and other birds, start a craft or hobby, anything to make you happy to wake up in the morning . you will heal and see puck at the rainbow bridge one day.

 

[Mare Miller]

I wish there were magic words to help the pain go away. The only one I can think of that comes close, would be 'time'. I'm so sorry. Another bird will never replace Puck but might help you to heal. I'm crying at the moment, just thinking about how I would feel in your place. We are here for you, Remy.

 

[foreverhugo]

I lost my beloved Quaker this last week. I do know how you feel! I am SO sorry, I type this with tears in my eyes, but I will assure you that no bird can replace the one you losy, there are many out there needing new homes. I found a 10 year old Amazon, or he found me and I am in the process of getting our house ready for him. My heart still aches for Hugo, but when I have lunch with Roy each day and he climbs quickly out of his cage to me...You will know when you find your new companion, just keep your heart and mind open! And know we all feel for you. Bless you.

 

[MacawGuy]

im sorry remy.

 

[cnyguy]

It takes time to grieve, and time to heal from a loss like you've experienced. Many of us here have had similar experiences and understand how you're feeling. When I lost George the YCA, my apartment seemed so quiet and empty, and there was no cheerful "hello" when I came home. It was a long time before I could even look at a picture of a YCA without breaking up. And I know I could never have another YCA, simply because it wouldn't be George. In time, you may be ready to open your heart to another parrot as I did, and there are so many wonderful types you could consider when you feel ready.

 

[Al_96789]

You have my sincere condolances. Like many others here I know what you are experiencing. In 2010, on Mother'sday, I lost my cockatiel Bennie. I was so upset I called in sick to work on Monday. My co-workers understood how much he meant to me. I gave his 30"x32"x18" cage to a friend as I wasn't planning on getting another bird, he was a rescue. Last year my wife, who volunteers with a wild bird rescue organization, picked up what turned out to be a 17 year old Bronze Winged Pionus. After 3 days she chose me and is on my shoulder watching me type this. Our friend gave us the cage back and has bird sit for us a couple of times. When the time is right a bird will find you if it is meant to be. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Remy]

Thank you everybody, for your kind and understanding words.

I picked up his ashes today, and it just brought all of my grief back to the surface. I miss him so much.

I would like another caique, when I am ready, even if it looks similar to him. I feel happiness when I see pictures of them. A mellower species isn't off the list, but I feel like his craziness was good for me.

Puck's personality was opposite mine in so many ways, but I feel like they complimented me. He was outgoing and friendly to everybody, while I am shy and reserved. He was enthusiastic about so many things, while I have trouble being enthusiastic about many things. He dressed colorfully, while I generally dress conservatively. We were both moody, and would get mad at each other sometimes, but after a couple minutes his mood would change, and so would mine, and then we'd be all over each other again. When I tell people about him, I describe him as "a party", because of his colorful plumage and personality.

 

[lene1949]

When I lost Shrek, I just couldn't get another Quaker... Still can't... but I couldn't live without a bird in my house, so I got Max, an Alexandrine a few months later...

Every time I see a picture of a Quaker, I think of and mourn Shrek... It's getting easier, and now I mostly think of the funny things he said or did...

These guys are/were our family, and a lot of people just don't understand the hurt, when they pass away... If you lose a child/parent/sibling you get lots of support... But losing a bird you get 'it was just a bird'...

Feeling for you...

 

[dishgal1]

If Puck was a party, you really should consider a Green cheek conure. Believe me, they have the personality and they like to party constantly. LOL
Take care in whatever you decide. Our thoughts are with you and we feel your pain. I cry every time I click on this thread. God bless.

 

[wenz2712]

I feel your pain Remy!! Sending big Hugs to you;;

 

[MaraWentz]

Sorry Remy. I know how hard it is. Good luck. ITs hard

 

[solobaby]

im so so sorry for your loss , sending you lots of love
jess and the flock

 

[luvmytooo]

Im sorry Remy. Its the toughest thing , losing a loved one. But getting on with life without them is the hardest. You will find your way eventually , we all do.
You are the only one who knows when the times right to bring home another bird.
Never feel you haven't morned enough for Puck because we all morn in different ways.
Some need to fill the void left immediately and some need more time.
I think Puck will let you know when you are ready to open your heart to another special feathered friend
Hugs to you ,
Laura

 

[Remy]

Thank you, everybody. I feel like you guys really do understand.

I'm taking Saturday off work and having a memorial picnic at a park I used to take him to.