Dealing with scared Quaker

[amidsbs]

I recently asked this questio in this post http://www.parrotforums.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=726119 but since it's in the comments I didn't know if it was going to be seen. I explained the parrot's situation there

I'm still concerned about the bird. In recent visits to her house I’ve noticed that mostly the parrot is extremely scared of everything aside from his two chosen ones, her father and her brother, the rest he just fears. He is alright when those things are far from him, and if they get to close he attacks.


But when it comes to me, he goes to a whole new level of fright that has worsened in the past month. After some months of teaching my girlfriend all that I had learned about parrots, the two of us managed to get the bird out of his cage and onto a table, without any issues. That day I thought we had made improvements on the relationship, but it just went downhill from there between him and me.

Each time that I go to her house he seems a bit more scared of me, and starts these deafening screeches, lowering his head and raising his wings while he does, begging for me to leave. This happens each time I’m in the room, and when I get further he just stares at me side-eyed and shaking. He still takes treats from me, and if he is out of the cage he doesn’t even mind me unless I get too close, because he is usually paying attention to whoever is holding him. He’s also fine again as soon as I leave and starts screaming when I come back.


I swear I’ve done nothing but ignore him ever since he started getting like this, and I try to be as little as I can in the same room, mostly because I got a little disappointed that after so much effort things only got worse, but also because I didn't want to do anything that might upset him. I don’t even look at him to avoid the screaming. I’m also not visiting as much as I used to, but currently, it’s a nightmare to even walk into the living room or kitchen. I fear this might lead to us being unable to be in the same room, and that’s the last thing I want.


Is there any way that I can make him less afraid of my presence? Does anyone know what could’ve caused this?

Maybe I was too direct or demanding while trying to build a bond? If anyone can help me with this I'd really appreciate it

 

[ChristaNL]

Are you sure he is scared?

It sounds to me more like a bird protecting his territory (and being very succesfull at it).


Scared or defensive: if you give a bird what he wants when screaming-> you will teach him to scream more and louder ...

 

[amidsbs]

Are you sure he is scared?

It sounds to me more like a bird protecting his territory (and being very succesfull at it).


Scared or defensive: if you give a bird what he wants when screaming-> you will teach him to scream more and louder ...

It could be that. It's just that with all the shivering, and hiding inside his cage from me, he seemed to be scared. But he is very territorial so it is a possibility.

So what should I do? Should I sit next to the cage and talk softly even if he screams just so he doesn't get what he wants?

 

[EllenD]

That's exactly what he's doing, he wants his people and doesn't want you to have his people (or his cage), and it's working! As Christa said, if he screams/shakes/raises his wings, etc., whatever it is he has figured out is working, and then you leave the room, he's succeeded and is happy as a clam! So the first thing you need to do is stop leaving the room just because he's screaming/shaking or doing whatever it is he's trying to do. You'll have to deal with a bit of screaming, but just ignore him and stay in the room...Do no let anything that he is doing effect you whatsoever, pretend he's not there, and get everyone else to do the same...that will stop the screaming pretty quickly..

This is a matter of you invading his territory, and thus far he's won because you are doing exactly what he was trying to get you to do, and the others are also doing what he wants to (holding him, etc.). So everyone needs to get on-board here, and whenever he starts acting that way he needs to be immediately put down on the floor or in/on his cage (if anyone is holding him) and then completely ignored. No eye contact, no talking to him, nothing until he stops screaming/shaking, etc. You'll find that he's not shaking because he's "scared" of you, he's shaking because he's trying to make you scared of him...

Quakers are sooooooooo territorial, yes, with their cages/areas, but their territoriality is not limited to locations, they want their people as well, and no one else better be a threat...I have had my female Quaker (who acts like a male and talks like a male) since she was 12 weeks old, she's now 3, the oldest bird I have...that presents a bit of a problem now and then, to the point that she sometimes actually bites me if I am holding one of my other birds, instead of biting the other bird...which I'd rather she did anyway, as you probably know, Quaker beaks can do some damage. She's a very good bird and is very well-trained, and gets along with the other birds very well, especially my Green Cheek Conure, they are very closely bonded...until I pick-up Bowie. Bowie has been sick this past week, so I've been spending more time with him than the others, and Lita took the opportunity yesterday in-fact to let me know of her displeasure, clamping-down on my right forearm when I opened her cage door (Bowie was on my shoulder)...She knew immediately that she had screwed-up, and she looked at me like "Well what do you want me to do, put him down, you've been with him all week!" She went right back in her cage and stayed there for a good 10 minutes, then she came out and was fine, though she did get a few good squawks out at me and she did the "Quaker March" up and down her play-stand while I gave Bowie his medications...They are very stubborn, possessive birds, and that is a frustrating combination at times...

You just have to stand your ground and let him know that you're not leaving and nothing that he does is going to make you leave...and the others in the house, especially your girlfriend, is going to have to be sure to follow the program as well, because what will happen if they all don't ignore him while he's screaming/shaking and having his fit is the same result, he'll be getting attention for having a tantrum, so he'll continue to have them...

 

[amidsbs]

That's exactly what he's doing, he wants his people and doesn't want you to have his people (or his cage), and it's working! As Christa said, if he screams/shakes/raises his wings, etc., whatever it is he has figured out is working, and then you leave the room, he's succeeded and is happy as a clam! So the first thing you need to do is stop leaving the room just because he's screaming/shaking or doing whatever it is he's trying to do. You'll have to deal with a bit of screaming, but just ignore him and stay in the room...Do no let anything that he is doing effect you whatsoever, pretend he's not there, and get everyone else to do the same...that will stop the screaming pretty quickly..

This is a matter of you invading his territory, and thus far he's won because you are doing exactly what he was trying to get you to do, and the others are also doing what he wants to (holding him, etc.). So everyone needs to get on-board here, and whenever he starts acting that way he needs to be immediately put down on the floor or in/on his cage (if anyone is holding him) and then completely ignored. No eye contact, no talking to him, nothing until he stops screaming/shaking, etc. You'll find that he's not shaking because he's "scared" of you, he's shaking because he's trying to make you scared of him...

Quakers are sooooooooo territorial, yes, with their cages/areas, but their territoriality is not limited to locations, they want their people as well, and no one else better be a threat...I have had my female Quaker (who acts like a male and talks like a male) since she was 12 weeks old, she's now 3, the oldest bird I have...that presents a bit of a problem now and then, to the point that she sometimes actually bites me if I am holding one of my other birds, instead of biting the other bird...which I'd rather she did anyway, as you probably know, Quaker beaks can do some damage. She's a very good bird and is very well-trained, and gets along with the other birds very well, especially my Green Cheek Conure, they are very closely bonded...until I pick-up Bowie. Bowie has been sick this past week, so I've been spending more time with him than the others, and Lita took the opportunity yesterday in-fact to let me know of her displeasure, clamping-down on my right forearm when I opened her cage door (Bowie was on my shoulder)...She knew immediately that she had screwed-up, and she looked at me like "Well what do you want me to do, put him down, you've been with him all week!" She went right back in her cage and stayed there for a good 10 minutes, then she came out and was fine, though she did get a few good squawks out at me and she did the "Quaker March" up and down her play-stand while I gave Bowie his medications...They are very stubborn, possessive birds, and that is a frustrating combination at times...

You just have to stand your ground and let him know that you're not leaving and nothing that he does is going to make you leave...and the others in the house, especially your girlfriend, is going to have to be sure to follow the program as well, because what will happen if they all don't ignore him while he's screaming/shaking and having his fit is the same result, he'll be getting attention for having a tantrum, so he'll continue to have them...

I get perfectly what you are saying. This quaker, in particular, believes that all the attention from his chosen ones should be directed towards him, otherwise, he makes big tantrums, they can be quite the jealous brat sometimes, hopefully, your quaker understands better than this one does and sees that taking care of your sick bird is a priority.
In addition to what I've said, the bird is somewhat spoiled, given that the whole family doesn't quite know what they are doing, the parrot has taken advantage of that and got everything he wanted for a long time.
I'll do all you say for my part, but sadly I can't guarantee that the rest will be on board, as it's hard to convince them to change their ways with the parrot and the topic is almost taboo in their house. But I'll do my best and make sure that at least I'm not the one giving the bird everything he wants (another reason why I think the bird does not like me much right now, because I haven't answered his every demand)

Again, it'll be hard because they've been reinforcing misbehavior for a long time now, but I'm sure we'll eventually turn the situation around. As for me, I'll make sure to stay in the room