Please help me not give up on Percy :(

[MomtoPercy]

You guys know of my efforts to win him over. I've followed all the advice - don't be too eager, take it slow, clicker training, don't enter into a situation that will give him the opportunity to bite, be the one to feed him treats...and it all works...until my mom or son walk into the room. Then I instantly rurn into the devil and all he wants is to be with one of them

He actually flew at me to bite me today I'm beginning to think that I will never overcome his dislike for me. We take one step forward and two steps back all the time. I've spent the afternoon crying from the hurt and dissappointment.

Perhaps I should give up and accept that he won't ever like me. It does happen that a parrot never learns to like someone, doesn't it? But I don't want to give up on him! I am not an ogre and I've never ever been mean with him, even when he caused a bruise that I'm still sporting after two weeks.

Please say something to convince me that it will get better

 

[msdeb]

I don't know if I can tell you that it WILL get better, but maybe I can offer a glimmer of hope...
Your profile says that Percy is about five years old and according to what I have read Percy may be in the midst of teenage hormones. When they hit that age they get difficult but it stops once they are past the teenage stage. I know how hard it is to be patient when it seems that all your hard work and bite marks are seemingly making no difference to him. But if you can hold out a little while you may have the bird of your dreams who will remember how you loved him during that awkward teenage phase and will return your love with birdie fervor. Hang in there!

 

[Freespin]

My previously best buddy Barry has turned on me since getting Nelson and now I'm the devil to him =( it hurts and it's hard but I'm trying to find some kind of way to make it work... He has even takenn to screaming at me from his cage when he sees me in the morning
( you certainly aren't alone and these darn burdys dont make it easy for us that's for sure...

 

[MarciaLove]

Well i rehomed my U2 for a similar reason sometimes a bird just really wont take to a certain person but it may be his hormomes like msdeb said are making it worse i say hang in there keep trying a while longer but its up to you and its a hard decision to make.

 

[JerseyWendy]

No, please don't ever give up. HUGS to you!!! I'm sorry Percy can be such a little stinker at times, but I don't think you've had him long enough to determine he will never like you as much as you'd like him to.

Have you tried clicker or touch training with him? How about a few tricks? Amazons LOVE to be the center of attention, and I think Percy is learning how to "manipulate" you.

 

[Constantine]

i dont mean to offend or disrespect, but my BFA has NEVER come to agreeable terms with my wife and kids...he only wants me, period...

 

[Merlee]

My macaw prefers my son over anybody in the household. He loved my husband for the longest time and ever since we took him camping this spring, my bird turned on my husband. Merlin still prefers my son though.

I understand how you feel because the macaw has been mine for 12 years. You have only had the bird a short time, so I think it's too soon to make a decision to rehome him. I have been working with my macaw daily for months and he is slowly coming around to accepting me. Merlin may not be as aggressive as yours, but he is still hand shy.

I think you should consider keeping Percy for about a year and if things don't improve, then consider rehoming him if you think that would be in everybody's best interests. I don't think any one can fault you for doing so after all the effort you have put into the relationship. I think you originally got the bird for your son and they clicked.

As I understand it, birds pick one person as their "mate", and it sounds like you are not the chosen one. If the bird is your son's bird, then I think you should stop trying as hard as you are. If the bird is yours, then give it another year, and see what happens before making a decision.

In the long run, if the bird is majorly aggressive or dive bombing you when loose, then rehoming it may be the best decision for all involved.

 

[MomtoPercy]

Thanks for the input everyone. I was a bit emotional when I posted this :20: and perhaps that is why you guys thought I'm considering rehoming. Just to be clear - I would never rehome him! Even if he hates my guts, he loves my mom and son and he is a sweet bird (most of the time ) and doesn't deserve to be kicked out.

My emotional response to yet another bite was more along the lines of "ok, let the poor bird be and accept that he doesn't love you". I was having half baked thoughts of getting another (additional) bird to lavish my attention on :54:

Thanks for listening - I've had a nap, had a bubblebath, took a deep breath and gotten over myself . I'm ready for you, you little green devil! Bring it on!

 

[legal_eagle]

I would seriously stop with worrying whether he "likes" you. He's still a wild animal after all, even though he's adapted to living with people in captivity. Dogs are really the only animal that love unconditionally every person they meet, and even then there are great variations among them. Your expectations and requirement that they be completely fulfilled all the time are getting in the way of enjoying what sounds like a normal, functioning situation for a healthy parrot.

 

[MomtoPercy]

I would seriously stop with worrying whether he "likes" you. He's still a wild animal after all, even though he's adapted to living with people in captivity. Dogs are really the only animal that love unconditionally every person they meet, and even then there are great variations among them. Your expectations and requirement that they be completely fulfilled all the time are getting in the way of enjoying what sounds like a normal, functioning situation for a healthy parrot.

Ouch! Harsh words...but entirely true and needed to be said and read! Thanks for the kick up the backside

 

[Merlee]

My emotional response to yet another bite was more along the lines of "ok, let the poor bird be and accept that he doesn't love you". I was having half baked thoughts of getting another (additional) bird to lavish my attention on :54:

Don't be so hard on yourself. I felt the same way as you at times with my macaw. I got another bird, but he has not fulfilled all my expectations either. My husband said to accept the birds you have and be happy that they are not as aggressive or as loud as they could be.

 

[getwozzy]

Don't give up!!!

The thing is, everyone (including animals!) have good days, bad days, feel grumpy, happy, sad, etc so there will be days when Percy is a complete love bug and other times he's like the devil. This is just part of life and parrot ownership

You're doing a lot, and doing your best to "win him over" and relationships with parrots can take a WHILE to develop. It could be months or years before you and Percy have that relationship you crave.... Don't take his devilish attitude personally

It took SIX MONTHS for me to even be able to have Jackie step up to my arm without fear of getting bit by him. Our relationship was only in the beginning stages though...

My point is that you can't have any sort of expectations of how you think your relationship with Percy should be... It's not fair to either of you, because when you have expectations you're setting yourself up for disappointment, frustration, etc. You just need to love him for who he is despite his multiple personalities and take things one day at a time.

 

[MikeyTN]

Sometimes rehoming is necessary when you get one that you absolutely can not deal with which I've been in that situation one time with Java the U2. He was very dangerous towards any other animals or people. No one could handle him but me but when it became obvious that he's gonna hurt someone or my other animals, I have that to think about so I give him up. If he tolerates them then let him be but the fly attack needs to be addressed cause you can be hurt pretty badly, if they fly to your face you can be disfigured. Everyone's safety is number 1!!!!

Think about everything carefully cause the moment Java went I broke down crying cause I feel I failed him. I know you say you would never do that as I've said the same thing. But as time went on after a year and a half of dealing with the same issue I give in as I had to put myself inbetween my other animals and him when he tries to hurt them. It was the last draw.....

 

[MomtoPercy]

Thanks Mikey. I don't think (I hope!) it will come to that though. He's never done it before so perhaps it was just a freak 'attack'. I wasn't hurt too badly - small cut on the hand (I think from his claw) and a bruise on my shoulder where he grabbed me with his beak.. Thinking clearly about it now, with the whole house quiet and asleep (and me being calm and rational), I think he may have been just as shocked as me by the event. He immediately stepped up when my son held out his hand and did not continue the attack. Perhaps he was startled (he is very afraid of the wild birds outside the window). Perhaps I just over-reacted (as can be seen from the emotional nature of my post *blush*) because of my deep desire to have him be as comfortable with me as he is with my son and mom (MY issues, I know...)

I do realise (and don't judge) that in certain cases rehoming becomes necessay but I would have to 'suffer' a LOT more before I would even think about it. He may think I'm evil incarnate but I love that bird more than I would've thought possible six months ago. . Sorry for him, but he's stuck with this crazy human

 

[JerseyWendy]

You are doing a marvelous job with Percy.

He is SO lucky you found him. He may not always demonstrate his gratitude in the "nicest" way, but he is one VERY lucky fellow to have you love him so much and take care of him with such TLC.

I, too, get emotional with my birds. I think it's perfectly normal because of the strong love we have for our feathered buddies.

 

[MomtoPercy]

Thanks so much, Wendy! I really needed that.
Oh dear, here go the waterworks again! :17:

 

[mtdoramike]

I look at it this way, can you live with something that you know doesn't like you? If the answer is yes then great, but if the answer is no then rehome the bird before you get too attached or while you still care enough to find him a really good home.

Yes, it is possible for an animal to never trust or love someone and no matter how much time or patience you have will change that, especially if the bird prefers men over women or women over men. But before you totally give up on him, try an experiment like have different people of different genders come over and try and interact with your bird and see what happens. Look to see if he seems to associate with one person over another or one gender over the other.

I try to socialize my birds as much as possible and I have found that some people they have no issues with or would easily go home with while others they shy away from. Why this is could be a number of things such as neither one of my birds liked anyone sporting a beard, Mac hated the color red, from red cloths to red hair. Tiki on the other hand had no issues with red, she hates the color yellow.

But at the end, it will be your choice to make and I say what ever is the best thing for you and your bird. But if there is a chance that someone else might have a better chance with him, which would better his quality of life, the decision would be an easy one for me.

 

[MomtoPercy]

I think you misunderstand, mtdoramike. Percy has a great quality of life with us, of that there is no doubt. He's just struggling to accept me. He gets on very well with my mom and son and plays with them like there's no tomorrow.

I have had visitors over several times and without fail he instantly takes to male visitors, going to them, sitting on their shoulders, chatting, etc. Female visitors are treated like the devil and if one approaches him, he does attack. It seems the only woman he can tolerate is my 70yo mom! LOL!

I would never rehome him for disliking me - I'd rather just allow him to be pals with my mom and son and leave it at that. I've been around him a lot since my first post and there has been no repeat of the 'flying attack' or even lunges so I do believe that, like I mentioned in an earlier post, he may have been startled and I just over reacted.

And to answer your fist question - yes, I CAN live with something that doesn't like me .

I will give him all the time he needs but even if he never comes around to liking me, that will be fine too. He is a great bird and I've been unfair to expect him to change his feelings about women in such a short time. It is often a problem with me - my eagerness to 'get it done' gets in the way of a good result. Luckily, the members here have put me back on track

 

[JerseyWendy]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

:emoticonc :worship2: :emoticonc :worship2:

 

[faeryphoebe1]

Not the same scale of course, but Trixie (GCC) loves my daughter most. Rebecca can do anything with Trixie and not get bit. My son is her 2nd love but she will bite him sometimes.

I'm 3rd. I cannot approach her cage, change her feeding dishes or ask her to step up without getting bitten. However, she has days where she will tolerate me more. If I'm eating something, she will fly and hop on me so that I will share.

If it's late in the evening, she will sometimes allow me to reach out and give her scritches.

Trixie only ever flies to me if I'm ill. That's when she'll hop on me and give me kisses and speak in quiet birdy chatter.

She loves me. It's just that she prefers my kids (even though I take her out, feed her, bake for her and chop fresh veggies for her). They can cuddle her but I can't. It hurts my feelings at times but I adore her along with her quirks. Percy loves you. Just in a different way.