Sad sad Christmas this year

[wuvzbirdies]

So this year couldn't end soon enough for me. Last week on Christmas Eve I lost my best non human friend Russell. I live in a highrise building and there was a fire across the hall from us in the late morning, the fire itself didn't cause too much damage but enough to evacuate everyone for the entire day into the night due to the smoke. Apparently it broke out around 11:30am but no one was home here to save Russell, the smoke killed him. I am absolutely devastated as I got off work that day at noon and almost didn't even go in that day as I was not feeling well, I should have listened to my stomach but nooooooo I had to go in and get some paper work done. My buddy would still be here if I didn't go in and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I am having a difficult time coping with this, he was such a sweet little guy and sooooo talented, I'm not sure where to go from here. I've never lost anyone in my life, I mean I have both parents, all four Grandparents and I'm in my 40's, the only loss I had was when I was four, my 13 year old Aunt died from an asthma attack but I don't really remember so this loss has hit me like a ton of bricks.

I just wanted to check in and post my story and thank all who have helped me with such vulable information to help guide me through Russell's first 2 years of life, he would have been 2 on 01/22/2011 and I got him when he was 3 months old. I don't post here often but I loomed the forum daily looking for advice and info that I might take away and apply to our family. Thank you so much for your help and bless you and your families in the New Year.

April

 

[Von1983]

Oh April.....I'm so so sorry for your loss </3

You must NOT blame yourself, it was a horrible accident and if we all got caught up with "what if's" we'd never be able to live. Noone could have anticipated what happened that day so please, don't think that you could. It could have even turned out you wouldn't have been here to post this if you had went back to bed and slept.

I know how much it hurts to lose both people and animal companions, it's the worst thing in the world. An old cliche but very true, time is a great healer. Soon you will be able to remember Russell and the times you had together without feeling sad, I promise. It's difficult when his life was cut short so abruptly, but I swear, you will get there.

We're all here and we all understand. I'll be thinking of you. xxxx

 

[antoinette]

April I am so sorry that Russell has gone, OMG I am absolutely devastated.
Please do not blame yourself, it was not your fault at all. Von is quite correct, it could have turned out very different and even more tragic. Things happen for a reason, we don't always understand why.
Russell, will always have a special place in my heart, he was one of the first birds I got to know when joining the forum.
You will always have the most beautiful memories of Russell, never to be forgotten.
We are all here for you, 24/7 please remember that, we share in all the good and sad times, leaning on each other for support.
Russell is is now seated at Rainbow Bridge, telling all his new mates, what a wonder life he had with you April...
R.I.P Russell

 

[SharonC]

I am so very sorry....You will heal, with time.

 

[Spiritbird]

April: This is too sad to even contemplate. I have felt like I know Russell personally. None of what happened was your doing. We tend to look at the circumstances and say to ourselves What If. Every one of us here feels your loss and will share your grief. I will say a prayer for you and him tonight.

I too live in a multi dwelling apt. building and even though we have sprinklers and smoke alarms a fire is of upmost concern to me. When you are able to speak more to us would you give bird owners that live in apts. any advice??

http://www.pet-loss-rainbow-bridge-candles.com/the_story_of_the_rainbow_bridge.shtml

 

[Cowtown]

My prayers are with you April.... I am so sorry for your loss...

 

[madparrotwoman]

April, I'm so sorry for your loss but the others are quite right, it is so easy after the event to think of the "what if's" but life isn't like that, life is often unfair, unpredicable and sometimes damned cruel! Russell had a good life with you however short it turned out to be, he had a good quality of life and he is there waiting for you at rainbow bridge I'm sure.
Raise a glass to Russell tonight and look forward to a new start with wonderful memories and in time the pain will ease. Hugs go out to you at this difficult time. xxxxx:40:

 

[critterman]

I'm new here and your story moved me. It is very sad. I have a female African Grey (Gracie-Lou) who I love. She is 9 yrs old and she is my heart. I can't imagine life without her. I am so sorry for your loss of Russell and I know you are hurting. It was not your fault, so please don't blame yourself. Let your peace be that he knew you loved him. I do hope you stay on the forum so we can chat.

 

[HRH Di]

I'm so sorry! Please don't blame yourself. I wish we could help more, but please let us know if there's anything we can do.

 

[patterson]

really sorry to hear this!!! like everyone said dont blame yourself u didnt know this was going to happen just remember the goodtimes u had with him.

so so sorry thoughts are with u!!!

 

[nofearengineer]

April,

I'm so sorry to hear about poor Russell. It took me a long time to get it together enough to type this post. Your post brought back a lot of feelings for me, and I do truly understand your pain and grief.

You did everything you could have, and there is no reason to blame yourself. I'm sure you gave Russell a wonderful life, and you will see him again someday.

 

[bogo1]

So very sorry for your devastating loss. The pain will ease in time, but for now, know that other bird people are thinking of you with sympathy and regret.

 

[wuvzbirdies]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for all of your heart warming support, I knew I could get it from you guys. Not many people I know understand how difficult this is for me, even my immediate family can't comprehend how my heart is broken.
I have an appt to see a grief counsellor, I haven't been able to function therefore I've been missing work which is becoming an issue. I just can't get through a day without breaking down.
I've had so many people on my floor come by to give condolences and let me know how entertaining Russell was to listen to in the hallway, they especially liked when he played peek-a-boo with our new kitty Holly who Russell for some reason LOVED.
A few days ago we found out the reason for the fire was due to malice intentions, the Girlfriend of the man living in the apt where the fire was found out something and put his clothes in the bathtub and set them on fire but it obviously got out of control and she could not put it out.
I do not wish to know anymore details than I already do as it makes me sick that someone else's actions cost my guy his dear life.
We had a funeral for Russell so I have somewhere I can visit when I need to talk to him, we have an animal hospital who facilitate a pet cemetary so I am greatful for that.

I wanted to thank all who reached out here but a special thank you to NoFear as I know you went through a similar heartbreak when you lost Gandalf. I hope the two of them are buddies where they are now.