12 and half years down the drain

[noblemacaw]

After 12 and half years of being together my partner had told me I am no longer loved and wants to move on.

Needless to say this is devastating for me for so many reasons. Because of my health problems I don't think I will be able to support myself and all the animals. At this time I am going to try my best to keep my Valentino. Lupe is going to keep Julio, Mercedes our Scottish Terrier and Julianna my Ragdoll cat. I will have to find housing that will accept my RFM down the road. For now getting though winter is my objective here. For the time being I am staying here (same house) though the winter. We are now just roommates.

I am so heartbroken it does not help my depression. I am still processing the information and trying my best to function.

It makes more sense to me why Valentino was biting her. Not nips or pinches but crushing bites. Valentino is not the kind of parrot who bites. He is normally gentle with his beak. I taught him how to be gentle.

 

[MissTaz]

Oh my that is so sad!!! I am so sorry!!!!

 

[JerseyWendy]

Oh my gosh, Rebecca, I am SO so very sorry. This seems to have come totally out of the blue.

You must be so very devastated and so very sad. Many many hugs to you! Please, don't let your head hang.

I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. More hugs!!!!

 

[MikeyTN]

I'm so sorry to hear that!!! How can someone just throw 12 and a half years away like that? Its not like its an abusive relationship or anything that sort. I couldn't do that to my partner....you deserve better then that!

 

[ruffledfeathers]

so sorry!! My ex abruptly left too, I couldn't afford the house without him, had to move, etc. It was a lot of tears and a major change but it definitely got better in time!!
Don't blame or judge yourself for it, as hard as it may be.

 

[tab_xo]

Oh wow Rebecca, that is so sad

Hope you can figure something out soon and find a lovely new home!

Very interesting about Valentino, kinda like he knew hey! Give him lots of kisses and cuddles!

 

[strudel]

I'm so sorry Pets are adaptable, and you can be too. I wish you lots of good energy to get through the adjustments and I hope you find a good situation as soon as possible.

 

[Betrisher]

I'm so sorry to hear this awful news, Rebecca! Sending prayers and hugs to you and your animals. <3

 

[Blancaej]

Oh Rebecca, I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you.

Sending many hugs your way. I'm sure you will get housing and everything worked out.

I can't imagine how you must feel right now. Again, sending many hugs.

 

[Jewelz]

I know I don`t really know you at all and I do understand how difficult it can be when you feel as though there is no place to go but are you sure staying through the winter is a good idea? Is it the only option right now?

 

[crimson]

Oh Rebecca, I am so sorry you are going thru this
It sounds like this came right out of the blue, which makes it all the harder to deal with.

I hope when the shock wears off, it will be more clear why this happened,and you can move on and regain your happiness.... as for Valentino, he must have sensed something, and sounds very loyal!....even though he is a bird, that is what I call a true friend.
((Hugs)) to you Rebecca,you deserve better.

 

[thekarens]

I can't imagine what you're going through. My partner and I have been together 13.5 years and we have 5 dogs, 2 cats, 3 parrots, finches and a 60g fish tank. There is no way I could afford to live on my own, much less keep all the animals. That's a terrible situation to be in.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

I'm SO so sorry Rebecca. This is so unexpected and very sad

Please remember that you are AWESOME! No matter what anyone says, we all LOVE you here.

 

[jugoya]

Oh no D=

Don't let the pain and stress become depression, keep your head up love. Times are going to be tough but they WILL get better.

 

[Gizmomania]

I'm thinking of you, Rebecca, and wishing you strength, healing, peace and closure.

 

[Bundiibird]

So sorry to hear that. Please remain positive and things will eventually start to brighten. I am a firm believer in things are meant to happen for reason but I am not so sure that they are meant to hurt so much. Sending many hugs and thoughts to and may you and you pets find the closure and happiness that you deserve.

 

[MenomaMinx]

I know we don't talk directly much , but you don't know how much it means to me to see a person here talking about living Valentino-- mine was murdered. reading about what happened to you tonight made me start to cry. my valentino would have tried to protect me too.

I'm actually at my personal valkyrie's tonight,and try never to think about the possibility of a break up--I love her.we haven't been together anywhere near 12 years,so I can only imagine how this feels for you.I truely believe this is more complex than you know and not anything you did wrong--the bird knew.Keep your mind focused on who still cares,as who you lost didn't show their full self until it hurt you.
You don't deserve to be hurt. Remember that.There were better ways to go about thingsif what your partner said was the complete honest truth.

If you need to talk, or just need help--I'm good at digging up resources. PM me anytime. I'm on the cell tonight,so the interface is wonky,but should have access to my laptop/mic in the morning

You're going to make through tomorrow morning and every morning thereafter--I promise.

 

[Echo]

There's nothing more painful than when the one you love ceases to love you back. However, I also believe that the 12 years you had together where meant to happen the same way it is meant to end now. I'm sure you didn't waste the years, you lived them happily together. That's another reason why we don't know the future.....or you wouldn't have live these 12 years together so fully? I'm sure the pain prevents you from looking at it positively, but it is better that Lupe told you sooner than later. I don't know how old you are, but I'm sure you want to "move on" while you're still young.......even if you don't feel like moving at all at the moment.

I always tell my husband that if he's gonna leave me he better do it while I'm still young and able to find someone else, or I'll be REALLY pissed!! LOL Every so often I remind him as I'm getting older.....

We all feel for you here and will support you and help you get through it

 

[noblemacaw]

I really appreciate everyone's post of support. This is very painful for me and I am attempting to work though this. I am getting help at our VA (I'm a vet with no health insurance so I get my care though the VA) and will see if I will need to be admitted or participate in a day program. I am not doing well emotionally and my depression cripples me at this time to be able to make sound decisions and have sound judgement. I need to get help so I can get to the point where I will be alright. When it gets really bad I can call my sister and her family for help.

Lupe is not treating me badly there was never any abuse I am not unsafe except for my thoughts of suicide. That is what is not normal for me and I know this is not something I can carry out. I have been going though a lot so I won't lie and say I don't contemplate it and think about acting on that want but I do have a way to get help quickly if I resort to the need to do something stupid. I am thankful for that.

Everyone's are encouraging for me and help me feel I am not so alone. All my pets bring me great comfort. Valentino is now protective of me. He does not have interest with interacting with Lupe, even when she has food. I don't want him to be like that because Lupe has never done anything to him but I will not force him to interact with her unless he wants to. My cat Julianna wants nothing to do with Lupe. When Lupe tries to pet her Julianna will jump off what ever she is on and walk away. Julianna also has been needing to be near me a lot. In her cat way she comforts me with her presence and her wants of petting. Nothing really new there as my cat is more bonded to me. Our Scottish Terrier has been by my side a lot as well. She is not aggressive to Lupe at all because I always believed the dog is more bonded to her but lately she needs to be lying by me or near me. Mercedes is a very independent dog more so than Julianna. Lupe has commented about how the animals have been of late. She loves Valentino and enjoys his company but now I can't be in the room if she wants to interact with him herself.

She wants us to remain as "good friends" I am processing this and am trying to figure out the new rules and expectations. My trust is severly bruised. I know she is not going to suddenly steal from me or harm the pets..nothing stupid like that but my inner feelings and deep thoughts are no longer available for her. I struggle to figure out these changes as she is no longer my love, my confidant, or my world. Right now I am not sure what "good friend" is.

Moving forward will be hard. I am 50 years old cancer survivor in which the disease has changed my appearance drastically. My health is compromised so I am not sure if I can handle working full time again with a physical job. At this time I am struggling with anxiety, severe panic attacks which I have to take medicine for (I never had to before but I landed in the ER too many times for it) I have no idea how I am going to support myself. Our home will have to be sold after the litigation with the lawsuit is finished. Right now it is a waiting game. I am not moving out of the house I bought with Lupe using the money I got when I sold MY home. I will also insist with getting that money back from the sale of our home (meaning I will get most of the lawsuit money if not all and half of the sale of the house) I will be fair and not out to "screw" her over..I could never do that to her ever but in the same breath I will not allow it to happen to me. I guess I am almost to the anger stage of my grief..I don't know.

Interesting enough Lupe does not consider "parting ways" flushing 12 and half years down the drain. I am not sure what to think about that.

I know I am probably sharing a lot of personal information. I normally am not like this but seem to be braver behind a monitor and keyboard. I also want to make sure you all know I am not in danger. I can be of danger to myself but I have a plan in place to take care of that if I need to. Be assured that I will get help if I get that bad.

 

[henpecked]

I don't know where you live but i have room for a full time bird keeper ( if valentino can handle a flock of amazons). My whole downstairs is empty, you live near me? My wife just started working (for the first time,Yeah) and i need someone( a bird person) to look after a whole flock of amazons.