Help!! Advice needed

[Ava.rg]

Hi everyone! Happy to say I haven’t had to make a post in a very long time because my 1 year old green cheek and I have been very happy!

So here’s my dilemma I can’t decide if I should take my bird with me the weeks I go to my dads house or not.

the back story: Every summer I go to my dads house for a week then I go to my moms house for a week and so forth until the end of summer. I got my little guy last year a couple months before summer. We bonded much more than anticipated those months before summer and I couldn’t part with him so I bought him a cage for my dads house so he could go with me when I’m there. This caused some problems because my bird developed really bad separation anxiety. Mainly when I was at my dads house. He would squawk and pace the bottom of his cage until I was in he was out of his cage. I believe this is because all he knew was me there and he wasn’t used to his new environment or the new cage. All of that summer I put up with taking my bird everywhere with me. He really only went in his cage at night. Since last summer I have fixed his separation anxiety for the most part and he is very used to his routines at my moms house. Ideally I would like to just leave him there for the weeks Im with my dad but I’m hesitant to do so. I am hesitant because even when I leave for a weekend when I come home he is very angry with me and lashes out. That being said I can usually earn back his love by the next day. I’m afraid that if I leave for a week he will get very aggressive again Especially since none of my other family members can handle him.. But on the flip side I’m scared that if I take him with me he will redevelop his seperation anxiety. and revert to his past behaviors due to the disruption in his routine every week.
Note: he also won’t have my brothers budgie to chat back and forth with at my dads


What do you guys think? Should I risk him not getting enough attention on the weeks that I’m at my dads or pack him up again and risk him redeveloping separation anxiety? (So sorry for the long post, I tried to say it in the least amount of words possible) let me know if you have additional questions

 

[Flboy]

I would say, depends on your mom! And their relationship!

 

[Ava.rg]

I would say, depends on your mom! And their relationship!

Thanks for replying. They?re relationship is not ideal. She refuses to hold him because he attacked her a couple months ago and he?s really aggressive towards her. That?s why I?m scared of him not getting taken out for the off weeks I?m at my dads. I?m basically the only person he doesn?t show aggression towards. Still working on his birdie anger issues

 

[BirdAddictK]

Hmm.... this is where socialization comes in, bud. You gotta teach your little feathered friend to be alright with being handled by different people, and one way of doing that is rewarding them for not showing aggression towards family, let family feed him treats and change his food and water or even do trick-training sessions, etc.

 

[Skarila]

Hmm.... this is where socialization comes in, bud. You gotta teach your little feathered friend to be alright with being handled by different people, and one way of doing that is rewarding them for not showing aggression towards family, let family feed him treats and change his food and water or even do trick-training sessions, etc.

This is really easier said than done, especially when a bird has already a chosen one/a strong bond with one person. Socializing a bird is much harder than it sounds.

While you can try to socialize with other people to curb the aggression, usual it is the lack of trust or fear of others that dictates what will happen, meaning fear is often mislabelled as aggression. To socialize an almost adult bird who already went through things can take a really really long time and it all depends on the bird. My partner's senegal is such a well behaved little lady, but it took well over 4 years for her to be comfy with me (and we're talking about visitations here once a week or less), but I still cannot grab nor handle her like my partner can. She will still throw a fit when she's separated from the mum (she lives with her), even while with me or my partner. Often changes rarely sit well with birds, and conures in particular seem to hate changes. Going back and forth, being left alone for a week and such, especially if the bird has a really strong bond already with someone is a heck of a challenge!

It's much easier to socialize a baby bird rather than a bird who already is showing problematic behaviour. The family member must give a lot of energy and patience with the bird in order to socialize with them well, and from my experience, many people just expect from the main caretaker to fix the bird's behaviour towards others, and that's just not how it works. My IRN hated my brother for a good reason, he was always so mean with him, despite being his main caretaker for years. And then there are hormones.... Even if a person is the kindest with them, even a well socialized bird (like my IRN) can go totally crazy and aggressive towards others in order to protect their chosen mate. That's a behaviour I personally could never correct. My partner knew very well how to handle and train a parrot, was extra kind with my IRN, when they're alone all was fine, but my IRN was endlessly searching for me while I was at work, but not aggressive with my partner. If I was home, he'd always go for the face if my partner came any closer to me. And this bird was hormonal without any stop for years. Strong diet changes, change of place, less light, don't touch and all that... none worked - his hormones curbed only when he was relocated to a new home, far from me. I was his trigger to hormones, it seems.

TL;DR - fixing bird behaviour is a really really tough job and can take months if not years, noone should be belittled for their bird simply not being social with others/too attached to them, and raging hormones are the absolute worst and make the training/socialization very challenging. And since this is an older post, I don't have any suggestions for the OP at the moment.