Here we go again...

[Birdman666]

Actually, it's kind of funny, but the day I met her I was at Starbuck's and I had Maggie with me... and we just started talking. Three or four hours later, we were both getting hungry, so we ended up going to an outdoor cafe for lunch. (Maggie came too.) Lunch lasted until late afternoon.

Then I went home and dropped Maggie off, and we went out to dinner.

We've been going out ever since.

It's one of those things that pretty much never happens... but did.

So, I think it's worth holding onto.

 

[Birdman666]

Well, it happened (again!)

can't say i didn't see this one coming...

Can't say it wasn't probably inevitable...

Can't say it doesn't really friggin' hurt...

But life will go on.

 

[Terry57]

I am so sorry

 

[getwozzy]

Oh gosh birdman, I'm so sorry

 

[thekarens]

Well hell

 

[RavensGryf]

Oh Birdman! I just read the entire post for the first time, and I am so sorry to hear this

Relationships are hard enough already (and MOST adults OR our SO's) have baggage! Then to add something like this to the mix...

It's too bad it couldn't work. I wish you all the best as your heart heals, and your disappointment fades... The ones who really love you WILL bring you through it.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

So sorry to hear. and yes, it definitely still hurts when you see it coming.

 

[Betrisher]

Geez, Birdman! You didn't deserve that - you're a great bloke and have a lot of love to give. It's a shame she couldn't see that and it's her loss. I hope Ms Right comes along for you soon, but in the meanwhile at least you have birds. Thinking of you and sending hugs. (((Birdman)))

 

[Anansi]

I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you, Mark. But you had to try. And you're right. Life will go on. You will move on. And you will be better for it.

 

[JerseyWendy]

I am so sorry! HUGS to you!! Lots of them.

 

[crimson]

sorry to hear this Birdman.

 

[mtdoramike]

You have to look at this two ways, either it was meant to be or it wasn't. Like you stated "We've been going out ever since." Unfortunately the going out ends and the staying home begins. This is when the real rubber meets the road. This is when all the nice nice disappears and the true people come out and either they like each other or they don't. But I think the bird issue is just an excuse. If it wasn't the birds it would have been something else.

But either way, I'm sorry to hear of your problem, hopefully it will work out either way.

 

[critterman]

Birdman666 so sorry you are being forced to make a choice. Sorry but you shouldn't have to be forced to make this decision. Sounds like your SO needs to be more understanding and be mature about this matter. What if it was your kids, the dog, and maybe another hobby that took you out of the house like golf or something? She should be thankful your home with her during your bird time. Something to think about. Hope it gets better.

 

[labell]

Just read this whole post, I am very sorry that this happen and that you have experienced this kind of disregardful to your feelings and who you are, both now and in the past.
Relationships are give and take and the worst things a SO can do is try to change a person or accept something about them in the beginning and then decide it's not okay later in the relationship.
My husband and I (second husband) have been together now almost 20 years he understands that animals are something I have to have in my life to be happy. He plays hockey, I hate sitting in a cold rink but I would never ask him to stop doing something he loved either.
Life is too short to be unhappy or fighting with another person, I always say I am not a box, I don't have sides, a person must take all of me, the good, bad and everything in between and I them for it to work.
I wish you happiness and that the right woman comes along who will accept and love ALL of who you are!

 

[Birdman666]

I wish you happiness and that the right woman comes along who will accept and love ALL of who you are!

She already did. Unfortunately, she died of a pulmonary embolism about four years ago...

And actually, in retrospect, this is probably what needed to happen. My significant other was increasingly unhappy with me. We were good for each other for awhile, but every relationship isn't meant to last forever. It works because it does. And if it doesn't work, trying to "force it" to work, only ends up making everyone involved miserable.

Sometimes the best thing for everyone is to just let go, and move on.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't lie. I didn't cheat. I didn't steal from her. I treated her with respect. We went out. I paid for dinner. And for about 8 months or so, the laughter, the joy, and the love was real...

Then it just suddenly stopped...

And I think in some ways we are both in a better place emotionally, for having known one another. But over the long haul, there would have been increasing levels of tension and conflict... that neither of us really need at this point in our lives.

There are no bad people here.

 

[labell]

Well that brought tears to my eyes, not only reading of the loss of your true love (I am so sorry) but the wonderful way you are accepting and dealing with the end of this relationship. Bravo birdman, you are a bigger better man than most. Hugs to you!

 

[Anansi]

She already did. Unfortunately, she died of a pulmonary embolism about four years ago...

And actually, in retrospect, this is probably what needed to happen. My significant other was increasingly unhappy with me. We were good for each other for awhile, but every relationship isn't meant to last forever. It works because it does. And if it doesn't work, trying to "force it" to work, only ends up making everyone involved miserable.

Sometimes the best thing for everyone is to just let go, and move on.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't lie. I didn't cheat. I didn't steal from her. I treated her with respect. We went out. I paid for dinner. And for about 8 months or so, the laughter, the joy, and the love was real...

Then it just suddenly stopped...

And I think in some ways we are both in a better place emotionally, for having known one another. But over the long haul, there would have been increasing levels of tension and conflict... that neither of us really need at this point in our lives.

There are no bad people here.

For what it's worth, Mark, the respect that I already had for you just went up several notches.

 

[Birdman666]

Well that brought tears to my eyes, not only reading of the loss of your true love (I am so sorry) but the wonderful way you are accepting and dealing with the end of this relationship. Bravo birdman, you are a bigger better man than most. Hugs to you!

Her name was Rachel. Those of you from the old ParroTalk probably remember us. It was a long distance thing, and it was very, very difficult.

I actually moved to Texas ahead of her. She was selling her place, and planning to move out here with her flock, and her other critters (horses, dogs, reptiles.) She was an animal person. The idea was to move out here, start over fresh. Get married. Get some acreage and build a "family" compound type place...

She had just sold her place, and was packing up to move out here, with her mother. A simple thing like a bruise... just a bruise! But a piece of the blood clot broke off, and got lodged in her lungs. She literally just keeled over, turned blue, and died right there in her mother's arms... and just like that, we went from planning a wedding to planning a memorial.

I HAD BEEN IN A VERY DARK PLACE until my (now former) significant other came along. And she was getting out of a bad place as well...

So perhaps this particular relationship was as much about helping each other heal from that, and getting on with our lives, as anything.

And we both grew because of it.

I'm still struggling. Financially, and otherwise, but I'm never going back to that dark place...

And I'm actually at peace with this.

 

[Betrisher]

Ah, Birdman, you are a dear, dear man! With an outlook like yours, you won't be floundering for long. Every tragedy helps us to grow and you clearly know that. I'm so sorry about the loss of your dear Rachel (may she rest in peace) and I think you're doing exactly the right thing: remaining open to life's possibilities rather than closing yourself up in a shell. I hope you know you've a good circle of friends right here who care about you and want the best for you? If I were in your position, I'd go out and find the meanest nastiest rescue bird and bring it home with me as a healing project for both of us. Just sayin'...

PS. And there's always chocolate!

 

[Birdman666]

Actually, SKYDIVING is a way better attitude adjustment than Chocolate...

A high speed tracking dive would go a long way for me right about now!

Maybe next payday...