Kakariki's Gf died and now he's screaming for a mate..

[smilingpixels]

TLDR: Male kak's girlfriend died. He cries for a mate. I can't bring one because history'd repeat, but his heart is breaking,and so is mine. What should I do?

This will be a strong rant. First of all someone up there decided to take my pretty girl away,who loved the boy more than I could ever describe it in words.

Today,I have a male parrot. I love him but he can't stop crying,he keeps flying around the room as if he wants to find a mate (not the same mate). I can't help but break into tears. I know this is supposed to be a grieving process, but please UNDERSTAND this next sentence: I had one male parrot in the past, and he couldn't stand me. All he did was scream,be scared of me,even when I had the best intentions and actions. He was wild but he was also looking for a mate. I seriously considered suicide because of the high pitch of his voice and the fact that I had to live many years in company of someone who was disturbing me so much. Luckily,I found someone who had the same species.

What I need is a solution. I tried to put up mirrors in his cage,but they don't always help. I tried to imagine bringing a new girlfriend to him but there's one problem: my parrot will die one day and she'll be lonely too. I hate going through all this grief, over and over. I see nothing that can help me now,what should I do? My boy eats,drinks,flies,but all he does is scream for a mate and I don't want him to become as annoying as my previous male parrot was. I really don't know what to do. My heart breaks each time I hear him cry for a mate, fly in a circle as if to look down for a mate.. I live in europe,there aren't many kakarikis here I could send my boy to,however I might find one from a store,but seriously I don't want to,history would repeat over and over and I got no heart for that,nor will to live my life on repeat.

 

[Puck]

This may seem a little strange but you might want to see a counselor. Our babies mean so much to us, but if it is driving you to suicidal thoughts or leaving you so grief stricken that you are unable to function then it goes much deeper than the bird. I would try and find him a good, caring home (he is capable of getting over a lost mate) and seek the help of a human being who cares about your well being or a counselor who can help you deal with these deep reaching feelings. It is not normal to be feeling emotions that strong over something like this--trust me I have been in the same boat. You will feel so much better if you deal with the problem in your heart, because I think you find that no matter what you do for this bird it will not heal the strong feeling coursing your body right now.

 

[Jayyj]

I have to agree with Puck. I totally understand that you want to do right by your bird - we all feel that way, and it's awful when we can see them suffering - but if you're serious about the suicide comment, in the kindest possible way, it sounds as though there is an underlying issue that goes beyond what would be reasonable to expect in the relationship between a bird and it's carer. Talking through these feelings with a councellor might help to rationalise then and put them in perspective. If caring for a bird is driving you to such a bad place there are options available to you: there's no shame in rehoming a bird if you really can't cope, but councelling to help you to cope emotionally in a given situation might also help get the situation under control.

In terms of your bird losing his mate, it sounds horrible to say but nature is cruel and particularly in the wild birds often don't live a long life. If a mate dies they feel that loss and they grieve, but it doesn't mean they won't go on to form new bonds with other birds and live a happy life. Your bird will be fine in the long run.

 

[smilingpixels]

It was a wild bird, it was constantly scared of me, I couldn't make one move without him being angry and screaming louder than thunder. Maybe you guys live in houses,but I live in a flat,not a small one either but the other rooms were noisier,leading to more noise.

Anyway, that thing made some of you think I'm depressed or something,which I'm not.
However,your replies are really sweet,and it really helps me to find different ways to see things,as I try to overcome the obstacles.

Oh and the most important thing: I exaggerated with the "parrot can't stop crying",that's only in the morning when he's sexually active, as hours go by he becomes calm and we get along as usual.

 

[Kiwibird]

If he's only screaming in the mornings, that pretty normal for any parrot and isn't sexual per se. He's greeting the day and calling out for his flock. Try whistling back to him when he does it and see if in time he doesn't calm down quicker or even learn to whistle Parrots are unfortunately quite loud, even little ones. All of us, at times, are highly irritated by our birds, so your not alone. Work on tuning it out.

Also, if you don't want your bird to be lonely, instead of giving him away or buying another bird, why not work on some bonding activities with him? Theres absolutely no reason he should be left "wild" if he's a pet. Trick training is more than having your bird do "cute" tricks. It's a way to establish a trusting relationship with your bird built on positive interactions and positive reinforcement. Any parrot, large or small, can be trained. I suggest you search "target training" on you tube and you'll find many free videos to get you started.

 

[jasper19]

Anyway, that thing made some of you think I'm depressed or something

Well you did say you "seriously considered suicide" ....due to your bird. So i can see why some of the responses are the way you got them. I hope that is not the case, there is always help out there.

I would just take a step back, look at the situation. Maybe consider getting your bird another friend if you think that would help the screaming?

 

[smilingpixels]

It was a way of saying the noise was too much for me,after so many days.

Things are better now. He feels somewhat more interested in me,but he still loves to see the birds,which is great.