Second thoughts and doubts.

[Rico_Tiel]

I am honestly kinda nervous about getting a budgie and as much as I hate to admit, I’m having second thoughts. I want to get a budgie but in the same breath, I’m just worried about a lot. What if it dies in transport? What if it doesn’t get along with Rico? What if I leave the room for a second and they fight and Rico kills it? What if it kills Rico? What if it dies from stress on arrival?

So much can go horribly wrong and I am just stressed about this now. I’m excited for the budgie but nervous. What if I can never find the right budgie and I never connect with one? What if Im not as healed psychologically as I thought? What if I crumble mentally?

So many what ifs, so many outcomes, so many possibilities, hundreds of futures ahead, and so many wrong paths. In the same breath, there are so many right paths, so many things could go right if I know what the heck I’m doing. There are so many possibilities, futures, and there are many choices that will determine mine and Rico’s futures. And that’s what scares me right now.

Has anyone experienced this? Does anyone have any tips to help out here?

 

[foxgloveparrot]

I am honestly kinda nervous about getting a budgie and as much as I hate to admit, I’m having second thoughts. I want to get a budgie but in the same breath, I’m just worried about a lot. What if it dies in transport? What if it doesn’t get along with Rico? What if I leave the room for a second and they fight and Rico kills it? What if it kills Rico? What if it dies from stress on arrival?

So much can go horribly wrong and I am just stressed about this now. I’m excited for the budgie but nervous. What if I can never find the right budgie and I never connect with one? What if Im not as healed psychologically as I thought? What if I crumble mentally?

So many what ifs, so many outcomes, so many possibilities, hundreds of futures ahead, and so many wrong paths. In the same breath, there are so many right paths, so many things could go right if I know what the heck I’m doing. There are so many possibilities, futures, and there are many choices that will determine mine and Rico’s futures. And that’s what scares me right now.

Has anyone experienced this? Does anyone have any tips to help out here?

Hey!

I'm so sorry youre going through this. Thanks for being responsible!! If you're genuinely scared that it won't work out, then I would HOLD OFF (not completely drop the idea) on getting a budgie, until you can have a plan B to accommodate the budgie AND Rico, provided things go wrong.

I'm one of those less careful people who let my parrotlet and Senegal play with my budgies unsupervised, and sometimes Jasper with EXTREMELY careful supervision and tbh.... I wouldn't worry too much about a budgie and a tiel. Good luck

 

[zERo]

I don’t think a cockatiel could kill a budgie or vice versa. I’ve found all three of my cockatiels have been very accepting of the budgies, even when they had never met one.
I agree with @foxgloveparrot though, if you are doubting that it will work out right now it might be a good idea to hold off and perhaps get a budgie at a later time.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I am honestly kinda nervous about getting a budgie and as much as I hate to admit, I’m having second thoughts. I want to get a budgie but in the same breath, I’m just worried about a lot. What if it dies in transport? What if it doesn’t get along with Rico? What if I leave the room for a second and they fight and Rico kills it? What if it kills Rico? What if it dies from stress on arrival?

So much can go horribly wrong and I am just stressed about this now. I’m excited for the budgie but nervous. What if I can never find the right budgie and I never connect with one? What if Im not as healed psychologically as I thought? What if I crumble mentally?

So many what ifs, so many outcomes, so many possibilities, hundreds of futures ahead, and so many wrong paths. In the same breath, there are so many right paths, so many things could go right if I know what the heck I’m doing. There are so many possibilities, futures, and there are many choices that will determine mine and Rico’s futures. And that’s what scares me right now.

Has anyone experienced this? Does anyone have any tips to help out here?

It's so good that you are taking this decision seriously. All of your concerns are valid possibilities, some probably moreso than others. You seem pretty happy just having Rico. A second bird, any bird, that you want to develop a real bond with will take away from your time with Rico and Rico seems happy the way things are, too. Unfortunately, not all budgies are easy to tame and bond with- it takes a lot of time and attention which is harder with two birds, and, of course, it takes the "right budgie". I still believe it's much easier with a very young budgie. Rocky was an unusual situation because few opportunities arise to hatch and raise your own budgie. All my other experiences taming and bonding with new budgies have been with solo pet budgies bought when less than 10 weeks old. Some members may disagree about the importance of getting a very young budgie but most will agree with the time commitment. As for your emotional state and sensitivities, you know best what you can handle. Your parents, if they're the supportive kind, may be able to help you make the right decision. If you decide not to get a new budgie right away, you can always get one later on- there will be a great budgie for you later in. However, I think you should keep your options open. Keep looking for the right budgie from the right source. For example, I found a high school girl on Craigslist a few towns over frome that breeds budgies on a responsible small scale and she partially hand feeds (co-parents) the chicks so when they are ready to adopt out they are already finger tame and you can handle the budgies before picking one. I believe this increases the babies' chances of getting into happy forever homes because so many people give up when taming proves too challenging. Not that I think you would give up, but it really is less stressful to adopt and enjoy a pre-tamed budgie than a "wild" one. Keep looking and you may find a similar situation.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

Hey!

I'm so sorry youre going through this. Thanks for being responsible!! If you're genuinely scared that it won't work out, then I would HOLD OFF (not completely drop the idea) on getting a budgie, until you can have a plan B to accommodate the budgie AND Rico, provided things go wrong.

I'm one of those less careful people who let my parrotlet and Senegal play with my budgies unsupervised, and sometimes Jasper with EXTREMELY careful supervision and tbh.... I wouldn't worry too much about a budgie and a tiel. Good luck

I’m not scared per se, more nervous and uncertain about the future and possibility of what could happen if I go forward with it. I still have 20 days to determine to go forward or fall back and wait. As of right now, I’m thinking about the negatives and positives. The positives are: it could be a good companion for Rico, it could be a good companion for myself aswell, it could provide the companionship that I can’t provide (like fine preening and getting the pin feathers I can’t reach rather than just massaging his tiny grape sized head and getting the bigger pinnies), it could also keep him more active since he is generally a perch potato. The negatives are what has got me hung up long term. It could be aggressive towards Rico or the other way around, it may keep Rico away from me, it could just die in the beginning from stress, it could end up being not compatible in our home (like being very aggressive for example and may not be able to be trained out of it), it could end up severely hormonal and if it’s a hen, then it’s fundamentally screwed, if it’s a male, it could fight and injure Rico.

As of right now, I’m not sure about getting a budgie.

I want to but at the same time I’m too nervous to confirm or deny wanting to go forward with this. I’m mainly concerned about aggression from the budgie since I know Rico is super friendly and social but with a new bird, it will be an unpredictable, unknown, essentially wild animal. But in the same breath, Rico was the same and I thought he would be distant like my budgies were, but boy was I wrong. I could very easily be overthinking this as I usually do and just need to calm down and become level headed. That redbull I had like 12 hours ago probably is what’s messing with my brain since I haven’t had a large dose of caffeine in About 2 months.

I felt a connection to rico and I thought he would be like my budgies and I was 1000% wrong so, that’s gotta be some sort of hope right? I’m gonna thoroughly rethink this once I’m completely level headed and when my veins aren’t humming with caffeine.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

I don’t think a cockatiel could kill a budgie or vice versa. I’ve found all three of my cockatiels have been very accepting of the budgies, even when they had never met one.
I agree with @foxgloveparrot though, if you are doubting that it will work out right now it might be a good idea to hold off and perhaps get a budgie at a later time.

I suppose you are right. I’ve never seen a case where a budgie killed a tiel or a tiel killed a budgie. Injuries? Sure. But never a case of death. An injury would very much be dealt with as we have a good vet, I have skin wash, peroxide, styptic powder, and the things needed to treat injuries.

As of right now, I’m not exactly steady minded and thinking straight. I haven’t slept in 19 hours, been awake on a redbull, and have been eating ham and cheese wraps while playing ARK. Not my highest point and not the best time to think about stuff like this honestly. I’ve got 20 days give or take before the decision is to be made, so I’ve got plenty of time to think.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

It's so good that you are taking this decision seriously. All of your concerns are valid possibilities, some probably moreso than others. You seem pretty happy just having Rico. A second bird, any bird, that you want to develop a real bond with will take away from your time with Rico and Rico seems happy the way things are, too. Unfortunately, not all budgies are easy to tame and bond with- it takes a lot of time and attention which is harder with two birds, and, of course, it takes the "right budgie". I still believe it's much easier with a very young budgie. Rocky was an unusual situation because few opportunities arise to hatch and raise your own budgie. All my other experiences taming and bonding with new budgies have been with solo pet budgies bought when less than 10 weeks old. Some members may disagree about the importance of getting a very young budgie but most will agree with the time commitment. As for your emotional state and sensitivities, you know best what you can handle. Your parents, if they're the supportive kind, may be able to help you make the right decision. If you decide not to get a new budgie right away, you can always get one later on- there will be a great budgie for you later in. However, I think you should keep your options open. Keep looking for the right budgie from the right source. For example, I found a high school girl on Craigslist a few towns over frome that breeds budgies on a responsible small scale and she partially hand feeds (co-parents) the chicks so when they are ready to adopt out they are already finger tame and you can handle the budgies before picking one. I believe this increases the babies' chances of getting into happy forever homes because so many people give up when taming proves too challenging. Not that I think you would give up, but it really is less stressful to adopt and enjoy a pre-tamed budgie than a "wild" one. Keep looking and you may find a similar situation.

i am happy with Rico and he’s happy with me however, I do feel like it could be better for his mental health to have an avian companion who can provide some of the needs that I can’t fulfill no matter how hard I try. I’m not a bird so I cannot fulfill his every need, socially.

I do know how tough budgies can be to tame... I never fully tamed mine. They were hand tame and they would step up but that was pretty much it. By the time I had earned Tea’s trust, he only had a week left with me. After I tamed him, he died in the night. And Ice enjoyed being near me but didn’t like being close to me and that was it. He died in my hands exactly 9 months after tea, on the same day, and was discovered around the same time. I just hope it doesn’t end like that. I enjoyed their presence and I honestly feel guilty about it. But I’m not gonna go into details because its a long one and I don’t want to spiral back into a mental disaster again.

Petzoo does have a mix of all ages of budgies so I will have to look long and hard for a younger one since petco is off the table and hated by every cell and bacteria in my body due to their treatment and lack of care for the animals. I could rant for hours about how much I despise that crappy place but it’d turn this reply into a whole chapter book with 7,458 pages. And petzoo has super healthy birds with toys and generally good care. We have no public breeders anywhere here.

Petzoo has a breeder who sells to them exclusively but they won’t sell to anyone else to my knowledge. So, no bueno there.


Yeah, you are right there. I can’t tell my parents about my mental state like ever because they will pry and prod me for information and get mad if i don’t share my private information with them so that’s something I gotta sort out myself.


I would love to adopt/rescue but I am not ready to deal with the emotional baggage they may have or the shorter time I have with them, which I know may be selfish but I don’t want my heart ripped out of my chest again a year or two after adoption. It just hurts way too much and I don’t think I could be ready to take that on again.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

i am happy with Rico and he’s happy with me however, I do feel like it could be better for his mental health to have an avian companion who can provide some of the needs that I can’t fulfill no matter how hard I try. I’m not a bird so I cannot fulfill his every need, socially.

I do know how tough budgies can be to tame... I never fully tamed mine. They were hand tame and they would step up but that was pretty much it. By the time I had earned Tea’s trust, he only had a week left with me. After I tamed him, he died in the night. And Ice enjoyed being near me but didn’t like being close to me and that was it. He died in my hands exactly 9 months after tea, on the same day, and was discovered around the same time. I just hope it doesn’t end like that. I enjoyed their presence and I honestly feel guilty about it. But I’m not gonna go into details because its a long one and I don’t want to spiral back into a mental disaster again.

Petzoo does have a mix of all ages of budgies so I will have to look long and hard for a younger one since petco is off the table and hated by every cell and bacteria in my body due to their treatment and lack of care for the animals. I could rant for hours about how much I despise that crappy place but it’d turn this reply into a whole chapter book with 7,458 pages. And petzoo has super healthy birds with toys and generally good care. We have no public breeders anywhere here.

Petzoo has a breeder who sells to them exclusively but they won’t sell to anyone else to my knowledge. So, no bueno there.


Yeah, you are right there. I can’t tell my parents about my mental state like ever because they will pry and prod me for information and get mad if i don’t share my private information with them so that’s something I gotta sort out myself.


I would love to adopt/rescue but I am not ready to deal with the emotional baggage they may have or the shorter time I have with them, which I know may be selfish but I don’t want my heart ripped out of my chest again a year or two after adoption. It just hurts way too much and I don’t think I could be ready to take that on again.

You would be surprised at how well you satisfy Rico's social needs! Judging from the cute April contest photo, it's clear that he only has eyes for you!

 

[Keet_Krazy]

A fair bit to go over
Do you get anxious over other things (you don't have to answer this if you dont want to)?
I was ridiculously nervous about getting my last parrot. Literally up till he was in the car on my lap I was anxious and having second thoughts, at some points wishing pulling out was an option (I had waited over a  year, I would have felt horrible for pulling out on the breeders). But that all happen at the same time as another very anxious situation in my life. I don't regret getting my boy even with the normal bird parent anxiety that comes with him.

What if it dies in transport?

This is only likely to happen if you pick an already sick budgie.

What if it doesn’t get along with Rico?

You should always go into the getting a second bird situation with this in mind. If you plan for the worst then the best will be a pleasant turn of events.
Even if they decide not to get along Rico will absolutely benefit from having another bird in the house.

What if it dies from stress on arrival?

I understand this fear but most of the time it is just our anxiety. My English budgie needed to go to the vet, but I was freaking out cause he was not one of the ones used to handling. I was terrified that due to not being used to being handled combined with being English (so not the most healthy bird out there) he would just die at the stress of a physical exam.
Both of us were fine He's even had 1-2 (can't remember off the top of my head) follow up appointments.

What if I can never find the right budgie and I never connect with one?

I am struggling to answer this. I have never gone into getting a budgie for myself. So I leaned toward flipping it to trying to provide the best home you can for this budgie whether it likes you or not. There are so, so many budgies that never even get a chance at a loving, caring home, but you can (and want to!) provide that to one lucky budgie.
None of my budgies are "tame" and I like it that way. I get to provide a safe, fun, loving environment where they get to be just budgies. They can choose to participate in treat time with me if they want. But otherwise I just get to enjoy them for who they are

 

[DonnaBudgie]

A fair bit to go over
Do you get anxious over other things (you don't have to answer this if you dont want to)?
I was ridiculously nervous about getting my last parrot. Literally up till he was in the car on my lap I was anxious and having second thoughts, at some points wishing pulling out was an option (I had waited over a  year, I would have felt horrible for pulling out on the breeders). But that all happen at the same time as another very anxious situation in my life. I don't regret getting my boy even with the normal bird parent anxiety that comes with him.

This is only likely to happen if you pick an already sick budgie.

You should always go into the getting a second bird situation with this in mind. If you plan for the worst then the best will be a pleasant turn of events.
Even if they decide not to get along Rico will absolutely benefit from having another bird in the house.

I understand this fear but most of the time it is just our anxiety. My English budgie needed to go to the vet, but I was freaking out cause he was not one of the ones used to handling. I was terrified that due to not being used to being handled combined with being English (so not the most healthy bird out there) he would just die at the stress of a physical exam.
Both of us were fine He's even had 1-2 (can't remember off the top of my head) follow up appointments.

I am struggling to answer this. I have never gone into getting a budgie for myself. So I leaned toward flipping it to trying to provide the best home you can for this budgie whether it likes you or not. There are so, so many budgies that never even get a chance at a loving, caring home, but you can (and want to!) provide that to one lucky budgie.
None of my budgies are "tame" and I like it that way. I get to provide a safe, fun, loving environment where they get to be just budgies. They can choose to participate in treat time with me if they want. But otherwise I just get to enjoy them for who they are

In addition to Rocky I have five budgies (Pickle, Nummie, Skyote, Charlie and Lilibelle) that are not tame and I enjoy them as simply budgies doing what budgies do- chirp, chatter etc. They all have comparable cagemates and I take good care of them. Two are rescues and I'm happy to have provided them with forever homes. I have two charming boys (Hunter and Beau Birden) that were partially hand raised that are mostly very tame but prefer each other's company.
Rocky is my baby girl and the perfect companion budgie but I raised her by hand.
I love them all!
But YOU need to do what's right for YOU. If you think the stress and uncertainty may be enough to give you a meltdown I'd wait until you felt more settled, but try to lay off the Monster and get some sleep!

 

[Rico_Tiel]

A fair bit to go over
Do you get anxious over other things (you don't have to answer this if you dont want to)?
I was ridiculously nervous about getting my last parrot. Literally up till he was in the car on my lap I was anxious and having second thoughts, at some points wishing pulling out was an option (I had waited over a  year, I would have felt horrible for pulling out on the breeders). But that all happen at the same time as another very anxious situation in my life. I don't regret getting my boy even with the normal bird parent anxiety that comes with him.

This is only likely to happen if you pick an already sick budgie.

You should always go into the getting a second bird situation with this in mind. If you plan for the worst then the best will be a pleasant turn of events.
Even if they decide not to get along Rico will absolutely benefit from having another bird in the house.

I understand this fear but most of the time it is just our anxiety. My English budgie needed to go to the vet, but I was freaking out cause he was not one of the ones used to handling. I was terrified that due to not being used to being handled combined with being English (so not the most healthy bird out there) he would just die at the stress of a physical exam.
Both of us were fine He's even had 1-2 (can't remember off the top of my head) follow up appointments.

I am struggling to answer this. I have never gone into getting a budgie for myself. So I leaned toward flipping it to trying to provide the best home you can for this budgie whether it likes you or not. There are so, so many budgies that never even get a chance at a loving, caring home, but you can (and want to!) provide that to one lucky budgie.
None of my budgies are "tame" and I like it that way. I get to provide a safe, fun, loving environment where they get to be just budgies. They can choose to participate in treat time with me if they want. But otherwise I just get to enjoy them for who they are

Yeah, I do often get anxious over things. I suspect I may have anxiety and it seems to worsen when I have consumed large amounts of caffeine or Im sleep deprived. But since I can go to a psychologist or psychiatrist (I dunno the proper doctor to see) for a few reasons, I will never know if I do or don’t.

Oh wow, you waited for a year? That is a lot of time to wait! Seems things turned out well with him then.


That’s true, I know what to look for when it comes to illness in birds, especially budgies so I shouldn’t worry too much about that. My two budgies handled a 1.7 hour car ride with smokers who text and drive (I doubt they smoked with the budgies in the car but considering my dad is… let’s just say inconsiderate, I honestly don’t know.) so now I don’t Think a 30 minute drive with no smoke in the car and being strapped in tightly would be that bad.


I do have a plan for that in mind. Not the sturdiest but I have a plan. Just let them out at different times, although ideally, I would love to have them out at the same time. even if they don’t hang out together, if they are out together and tolerate each other, then that is good enough for me.


Oh wow! I would have been sobbing and ugly crying and rolling on the floor if I thought my bird would die in the hands of the vet. I’ve heard of English budgies just flat lining in the hands of the vet and it’s the reason I would never get an English budgie. I’m glad he turned out okay and survived the other exams. We’re you nervous about the others?


That is a good way to look at it. I just hope I find the right budgie, honestly.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

In addition to Rocky I have five budgies (Pickle, Nummie, Skyote, Charlie and Lilibelle) that are not tame and I enjoy them as simply budgies doing what budgies do- chirp, chatter etc. They all have comparable cagemates and I take good care of them. Two are rescues and I'm happy to have provided them with forever homes. I have two charming boys (Hunter and Beau Birden) that were partially hand raised that are mostly very tame but prefer each other's company.
Rocky is my baby girl and the perfect companion budgie but I raised her by hand.
I love them all!
But YOU need to do what's right for YOU. If you think the stress and uncertainty may be enough to give you a meltdown I'd wait until you felt more settled, but try to lay off the Monster and get some sleep!

I just had a 7 hour nap and I’m more level headed and cooled down. I had a strange dream involving the ARK Tek cave, hall of history, and overseer arena, giant marble statues of Rico and a budgie, and they shake each other’s talons, and fly off into space. I think I’m okay now and I’m okay to make a decision. I think I am ready for a budgie, just having some anxiety about it. I felt the same way when we were getting my first hamster, so it’s probably nothing.

 

[texsize]

When I have a difficult decision to make.
I think about all the good things that I want/hope, and expect to come about.
And then I think about all the negative things that could/might happen.

I go back and forth this way until one side or the other comes out on top.

Over many years I have learned to listen to my gut feelings, they rarely steer me wrong.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

When I have a difficult decision to make.
I think about all the good things that I want/hope, and expect to come about.
And then I think about all the negative things that could/might happen.

I go back and forth this way until one side or the other comes out on top.

Over many years I have learned to listen to my gut feelings, they rarely steer me wrong.

This is actually a really good tip! Thank you! I’m gonna use this!

 

[Keet_Krazy]

Oh wow, you waited for a year? That is a lot of time to wait! Seems things turned out well with him then.

I believe it was over 500 days since I first contacted the breeder. Not a common species to begin, then finding a good breeder, then waiting for a successful clutch with an available baby (not to mention actually getting him transported...).

We’re you nervous about the others?

Not many of my birds have needed to go to the vets (and I avoid going unless it's definitely required), but I will always be nervous when any of them need to go.
My last budgie that went I was nervous because of his health He was my most tolerant about handling so that didn't bother me as much.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

I believe it was over 500 days since I first contacted the breeder. Not a common species to begin, then finding a good breeder, then waiting for a successful clutch with an available baby (not to mention actually getting him transported...).

Not many of my birds have needed to go to the vets (and I avoid going unless it's definitely required), but I will always be nervous when any of them need to go.
My last budgie that went I was nervous because of his health He was my most tolerant about handling so that didn't bother me as much.

Oh wow! I doubt I could wait 500+ days! I would pretty much forget about the breeder and the wait list! Was it for your slaty?


Your last budgie? Was he okay? Or was it the English budgie you were talking about?

 

[Keet_Krazy]

Was it for your slaty?

Yes

Your last budgie? Was he okay? Or was it the English budgie you were talking about?

No, it was another budgie. Unfortunately his age had finally caught up with him, he passed away a couple weeks after I took him in the first time.

 

[Rico_Tiel]

Yes

No, it was another budgie. Unfortunately his age had finally caught up with him, he passed away a couple weeks after I took him in the first time.

I love slaties! Such cool little things!

Aw poor guy I’m sorry for your loss.

 

[Keet_Krazy]

I love slaties! Such cool little things!

Have you heard of them before then?

 

[Rico_Tiel]

Have you heard of them before then?

Yup! I find them to be so fascinating! I dunno why. But the gray head that contrasts that nice mint green is so pretty! I really like them! They are one of my many favorite parakeets of India! I do want to get either a slaty, plum headed, or alexandrine in the future!