Conures and kids

[barclay2018]

Hi everyone

Looking for some advice on how to help my son with his how fearfulness of bash coming near my son

So bash has been flighing to my son who is 4 and wanting to sit on his shoulder bash isnt trying to bite or anything he being a wee sweetheart towards him but my son get really upset and fearful. I have tryd having bash on my arm and letting my boy give bash a treat and let him see he wont hurt him he , my son really interested him bash loves to help me feed him and give his water in the mornings.

Just really wonder how other people had any issue with kids being fearful of parrots sitting on them

Thanks in advance

Elaine and bash

 

[T00tsyd]

I don't think you can push this. My daughter who is adult is frightened when Syd flies. She clips his claws for me if I hold him and feeds him treats and will even tolerate him on her shoulder for a little while and Syd loves her, but if he flies she panics.

I would just let things happen in their own time. To your little boy Bash will seem much larger than he would to us so he probably feels he's the size of an eagle and of course when they fly they are at their largest. Children's skin is sensitive too so perhaps the claws prick a little. Give it time, hopefully they will grow together and become friends. Let your little boy feel completely safe until he loses the fear and keep Bash at bay a little until that happens.

 

[noodles123]

How old is your bird---Honestly, I wouldn't push it because if something does happen after your son decides to trust the bird, he will likely be freaked out for life. My cousin was bitten hard on the ear by the grey that grew up with us and it took her 20 + years to touch him again. She was about 5 and she still has a scar-- He was acting really sweet at the time and she expressed an interest in holding him, so my uncle (not knowing better) allowed her to do so---it may have been that she moved suddenly (as children often do, but it may have also been a bit of a display, as Neo was quite jealous of her).

Wait until your son is ready---9 or 10 is a better age, but even then, he has to want it (that way if he is bitten, it was his choice and no trust is violated). You could try taking his hand in yours (protecting it with yours) and allowing him to pet the bird, but I would wait a bit. Some kids are freaked out by unexpected flapping, so you might talk to him about why they do that. Until he has fatter fingers and better self-control, his fear probably is somewhat protective--if he were overly comfortable, he might end up doing something stupid without understanding the risk.

My Too often wants to stand on people's shoulders, but sometimes she will get on a power-trip about it if they don't have a bond---It's just like an attitude that she takes on... I can't really describe it- she definitely will feel people out and test them by doing the following 3 things: 1. trying to preen their eye (dangerous yes-- does she care? NO-if they let her, she is way cooler with them than if she us spurned)
2. jerking her head when they try to touch her while on their shoulder (as though to bite)
3. and often, running and pecking the back or top of their head (not biting- but A SOLID, deliberate thump)...
Based on how they react, she decides whether she likes them or not. If she doesn't, she will plan more tests for them in the future lol. Interestingly, she won't do it with people she knows REALLY well if they handle her often (e.g., my ex and me) and she won't do it with total strangers--- she only does this to familiar acquaintances with whom she has had limited physical contact...E.g., my mom, my sister, company that stays for more than a few days etc. She is almost ALWAYS nice the first time she is held by a new person, but after a few times (when the novelty wears off) the testing begins.

My point in telling you this is that just because the bird seems to want your son, does not mean that he will behave as he does with you on your son. Plus, imagine the damage if he did get hold of your sons face--as an adult, you can make the call for yourself, but if your boy is nervous, the bird will pick up on that.

Last story---Noodles is OBSESSED with my dad (even though we only see them like 2 x yearly).. Anyway, I can hold her when he is in the room (because she likes me a lot) but if she hears his voice and is on anyone else, she starts to get really agitated and will often bite whoever is holding her---not their face (although she did bit my mom's shoulder once) but an arm or hand if she feels that they are preventing her from getting to him---We aren't talking serious bites, but serious enough for those who have never been bitten by a cockatoo (bruising etc)! Her attitude completely changes if he enters the room (unless she is on me---and then she just goes into full-on begging mode--e.g., take me to him).
It's almost like in a movie when a spouse catches the other spouse in an affair and suddenly, the non-married entity is chopped-liver/pushed away (while the cheating party chases after their significant other saying, "Honey, it's not what you think!")
Noodles will act all sweet, but when she hears my dad, she is like, "Get your filthy shoulder out from under me you brute!"--I had no idea that she would do this to other people because she has never done it to me when my dad is around.

Moral of this ramble: You may think you know how your bird will behave, but you only have your experiences on which you can base that assumption---his may be different, as he doesn't have that bond.

 

[Talven]

When my son was around the same age we had a dozen or so tame cockatiels that lived in the house. He was quite happy to have them sit on him or watch them but he would get scared when they tried to fly to him.

At 4 you're still developing your hand eye co-ordination. So tracking something that is flying at you is very difficult to do. Plus the noise as well as the uncertainty of where the bird is going can be quite scary. Even for adults it can be intimidating.

My son is ASD and has terrible vision so it was even worse for him to have a bird fly at him. Thankfully 'tiels are a fairly passive bird, unlike a conure who can be very nippy, and he never developed a fear of them.

If you are determined to have your son interact with Bash I would suggest that you have him help train Bash to fly to a target perch. Use a dowel as the target and when Bash lands on it he gets a treat. Use a command word like you would with a dog like "come" or "sit". When he lands on the perch give Bash a treat. After the treat return him to where he started from and repeat once or twice so he doesn't get bored or irritated.

Once you have Bash doing this have your son hold the perch and call Bash and give him the treat. This will give your son control which will reduce the reasons behind the fear. It will lessen the chance of a poor interaction between them as Bash is on a perch and not your son. Bash should also be focused on getting the treat and hopefully less likely to bite.

I would also suggest that treats are offered in a dish and not from fingers by your son. Again another layer against being bitten by accident.

 

[barclay2018]

Hi everyone

Thank you for your reply. I haven't push my son to bond with bash, I will say to him if he sitting with him and just talking to him while bash is in his cage as it will help bash know him. When we first got him i have had rules for my boy from day one which were not to scream at bash, not to hit or put finger through the bars and he can help as long as me or his dad are present when or if he would like
. I wouldn't force I bond if they bond that would be fantastic.

Bash can be nipping as my ears have learned . But hes good he learn gentle really well that doesn't mean he always responses to it. He is around 7/8 months old so still very young. He has come along great was hand rared and come to us very well. Got the step up and been working on wee trick which he seem to really enjoy I honestly didnt think he would pick it up so easily or come to us so well , he a wee gem but yes hes nippy and has his wee moments but all in all a great wee conure

But I really appreciate the advice I never actually thought about the hand to eye coordination.i will sit and have a conversation with him about bash and how he feels about bash flying at him and what makes him uncomfortable see if he wants to have a bond and if so I will give him safe things like help me with is foods water. And see if there is anything he wants to help with and we can discuss what he how he wants to go forward

Thanks again everyone x elaine and bash