Convincing family to let me get a cockatiel

[FrostyBirdLover]

So I’ve had a bird before, but as a child, since then I’ve matured and educated myself fully on cockatiels and wish to care for one again.

My first cockatiel I got in 2005 and had until 2012 (she died of illness that none of us saw coming). I was a little kid, just becoming a teen when she passed away. I had poor education then and my parents did too. And due to our dog, we decided no more birds at the time (she tried to bite my cockatiel’s feet when bird was flying A little low during open cage time).

A lot of time has passed as it’s nearly 2022 and since the passing of my first bird, I’ve found I still love them and have been educating myself like crazy to make sure I can care for a bird properly, compared to my child self who knew nothing. I’ve talked to my parents about letting me get another bird, who will move with me when I move out (recent college grad with first degree job and a part time job too).

Now, my degree job I do remotely, so I know I can spend a lot of time with a bird and give them proper attention. I also know sticking with cockatiels is best as larger parrots are destructive. I told my parents I want to adopt a bird, but they say no due to the mess with the previous cockatiel and my irresponsibility with her. But again, I was 6-13 during the time I had her, I have grown and educated myself since then.

I want to prove to them that I can take care of another bird as I am an adult and did take care of our dog until she passed (the one that prevented a second bird). I’ve planned heating instruments for a cockatiel as I will probably have her cage in my room along with insulation for my windows to prevent drafts. I’ve shared knowledge I’ve learned with my parents about cockatiels, how they are great pets and how I can manage their mess. Just they still say no. And I know I shouldn’t go and adopt/buy a bird as I’m living under their roof and need their permission if I am to get a pet of my own. What advice do you have for me to convince them?

 

[foxgloveparrot]

I don't think you need to know what I did to convince my parents for my first bird...
Show them how responsible you are. If they say no, impress them by accepting it for now. Don't suck up to them, but instead prove you are capable of caring for a bird. Don't ask them to put in their own money. Pay for the bird and the supplies yourself.
Maybe foster a bird to show your parents how well you take care of it.
Remember to adopt if your parents do say yes.
Good luck

 

[FrostyBirdLover]

I don't think you need to know what I did to convince my parents for my first bird...
Show them how responsible you are. If they say no, impress them by accepting it for now. Don't suck up to them, but instead prove you are capable of caring for a bird. Don't ask them to put in their own money. Pay for the bird and the supplies yourself.
Maybe foster a bird to show your parents how well you take care of it.
Remember to adopt if your parents do say yes.
Good luck

Yeah, I don’t do it all the time. Just when I see something cool and share with them so they can be entertained too. They know I watch a lot of bird videos for coping too as they joke about that.
Last time it came up was when I asked if we had my bird’s cage in the attic in case I do get one.
And yeah, I have the money and will do that myself. Been looking into local rescues so far at birds too.
i think my main thing to impress them is keeping laundry off the floor, but I know I have to do more than that to impress too.

 

[Emeral]

My Emerald loves to be loved by everyone in the family. So it will make a big difference to your bird, whether you get their permission or not.

Here are my advices for you to convince them.....

1) Have patience. Find out more about what their concerns are. Make a list and arrange them in their order of importance. Take time to gather information from them. Let them know that you care about what they think.

2) Set goals to achieve some proofs. Would it be possible to volunteer at the bird shelter? Perhaps the story of your bird handling and bird socializing may touch their heart.

3) Be assertive.

Best of luck and keep us posted

 

[Emeral]

Since you have mentioned a recent college grad with first degree job and a part time job too. I was wondering about possibility of advanced education in the next 3 to 5years. If you do, you may become a student again. So this thread may be useful to you and your friends.

Thread 'What Students Should Ask Before Getting a Bird.' https://www.parrotforums.com/threads/what-students-should-ask-before-getting-a-bird.74211/

 

[Flboy]

Hi! You said You will be moving out soon. Just delay getting your cockatiel?

 

[FrostyBirdLover]

Hi! You said You will be moving out soon. Just delay getting your cockatiel?

I don’t know when I’ll be moving out. It depends on my future job and how much they pay. I currently make $15/hour at my retail job and then $11 to $20/hour at my degree job (rate is based on task). And cost of living in my area is not cheap as I’d be moving closer to my partner most likely. And most apartments won’t allow birds due to noise. (I can tolerate a bird being noisy, but walls are thin in apartments)

 

[FrostyBirdLover]

Since you have mentioned a recent college grad with first degree job and a part time job too. I was wondering about possibility of advanced education in the next 3 to 5years. If you do, you may become a student again. So this thread may be useful to you and your friends.

Thread 'What Students Should Ask Before Getting a Bird.' https://www.parrotforums.com/threads/what-students-should-ask-before-getting-a-bird.74211/

I don’t think I’ll be going back to school unless I really want an MFA in painting. I mainly just got a degree as artists with degrees are more likely to be hired over ones without a degree. I’m very much in the mindset of making sure I can work from home once I have a bird as I don’t want to be gone for long times every day.

 

[FrostyBirdLover]

My Emerald loves to be loved by everyone in the family. So it will make a big difference to your bird, whether you get their permission or not.

Here are my advices for you to convince them.....

1) Have patience. Find out more about what their concerns are. Make a list and arrange them in their order of importance. Take time to gather information from them. Let them know that you care about what they think.

2) Set goals to achieve some proofs. Would it be possible to volunteer at the bird shelter? Perhaps the story of your bird handling and bird socializing may touch their heart.

3) Be assertive.

Best of luck and keep us posted

Thank you!
I believe the main reason is the mess (because any parrot species can be messy), and I did find a cage a bit bigger than my current one I own that has a mess catcher on it.
I’m looking into bird shelters nearby for sure! Travel cost will determine if I’ll be able to volunteer or not!

 

[chris-md]

I don’t know when I’ll be moving out. It depends on my future job and how much they pay. I currently make $15/hour at my retail job and then $11 to $20/hour at my degree job (rate is based on task). And cost of living in my area is not cheap as I’d be moving closer to my partner most likely. And most apartments won’t allow birds due to noise. (I can tolerate a bird being noisy, but walls are thin in apartments)

Flboys advice is sage - heed it, I beg you.

Precisely because you have this upheaval coming, and dont know where you’ll end up, you really should wait to get a bird.

what happens to any bird you get if, once you move out, you have no choice but to move into an apartment that doesn’t accept exotics? If move out WILL happen, even a couple years in the future, if you truly want to be a responsible owner, you will have to think through issues like this. Responsible ownership starts before the bird ever arrives.

This is why we often tell people your age to not get birds. Lots of predictable unknowns that have can definitely have a disproportionally negative impact on the wellbeing of a bird.

though I’ll tell you this;: you’re well suited for when you DO get another bird. Like you, I had a conure when I was younger. And that conure, to put it bluntly, was ignored and shunned due to screaming (half the time we treated her more like a finch, though she got out sometimes), and tragically died very from neglect. I swore I’d never get another bird after that, the maintenance of a caged animal is too much.

I reversed course 15 years later, and my eclectus benefits DAILY from the guilt I feel over that conure. I have no doubt under your care a new bird will eventually be treated like a prince/princess.

but now is not the time. Wait until you’re fully independent.

 

[Zoruace]

this video might help..

 

[FrostyBirdLover]

Flboys advice is sage - heed it, I beg you.

Precisely because you have this upheaval coming, and dont know where you’ll end up, you really should wait to get a bird.

what happens to any bird you get if, once you move out, you have no choice but to move into an apartment that doesn’t accept exotics? If move out WILL happen, even a couple years in the future, if you truly want to be a responsible owner, you will have to think through issues like this. Responsible ownership starts before the bird ever arrives.

This is why we often tell people your age to not get birds. Lots of predictable unknowns that have can definitely have a disproportionally negative impact on the wellbeing of a bird.

though I’ll tell you this;: you’re well suited for when you DO get another bird. Like you, I had a conure when I was younger. And that conure, to put it bluntly, was ignored and shunned due to screaming (half the time we treated her more like a finch, though she got out sometimes), and tragically died very from neglect. I swore I’d never get another bird after that, the maintenance of a caged animal is too much.

I reversed course 15 years later, and my eclectus benefits DAILY from the guilt I feel over that conure. I have no doubt under your care a new bird will eventually be treated like a prince/princess.

but now is not the time. Wait until you’re fully independent.

Thank you for the advice! I will definitely look into how I will plan for the future too for where a bird can live as well.

 

[Emeral]

Thank you!
I believe the main reason is the mess (because any parrot species can be messy), and I did find a cage a bit bigger than my current one I own that has a mess catcher on it.
I’m looking into bird shelters nearby for sure! Travel cost will determine if I’ll be able to volunteer or not!

If the bird shelter works out, please show some photos of the birds. I would be thrilled.

If not, bird sitter may also be a good option. You can have fun playing with the bird while the owner can have some free time. The nice thing about bird sitting is that owner also provides for vet bills and any bird expenses.

Or perhaps, bird sharing. Pet sharing is similar to pet sitting accept for the additional sharing of expenses.

This video not be a cockatiel but it shows how happy our life will be....with a bird at the center. It is fun to watch....

They also make a series of video on YouTube about bird sitting while they were traveling.

And you are right about the mess our little bird made. This routine video also mentioned it. Oh, I love the built-in perches around their place.