Trouble with Keeping Birds Separated


New member
Dec 10, 2022
Hello there. Let me preface this by saying I am trying my damn best right now. I have a conure and a cockatiel, both males, with which the conure is about 8 months old and my cockatiel about 2 or so years (unknown, tbh). They bonded, but I have to keep them separate because my cockatiel will try and mount my conure and will continually try to dominate him, which started in September/October. Of course when he did this I tried to put him in his cage, which resulted in a panic attack and him needing to be caught via a towel and covered to calm him down so he doesn't get hurt. We still have a strong bond, not worried. However, because I have to let only one bird out at a time, it's been an absolute nightmare.

Since the two are bonded, they want to be out with each other. If one is out and the other isn't, which I rotate every hour, the other one absolutely continuously screams at the top of their lungs and as loud as they can until I let them out. I try to wait until they're quiet and give them a treat to distract them, because new toys that are rotated all the time don't work. Covering them rarely works as well. It's so bad I can hear them through BOSE noise cancelling headphones, and that's NOT an exaggeration. My fiance works nights, and luckily she doesn't hear them too often, I'm worried my neighbors do, and it's affecting my mental health badly. For three/four months this has been going on daily, and before you ask, I'll list everything I've been doing:
  • 12-16 hours of sleep
  • Rotating toys every week/2 weeks
  • Veggies every day, a constant 90/10 mix of pellets and seeds
  • Millet. A ton of it. Particularly because my conure is still super scared of me at times after having him for 6 months.
  • Plenty of light when awake, no light when sleeping
  • At least 4/5 hours a day outside of the cage per bird
I really don't want to rehome my conure, so I'm trying to find a solution before this. My conure is still scared of me because, well, a handful of times I've yelled at them to shut up. Yes, I know it's wrong, but dealing with this 7 days a week for 8-12 hours a day for 4 months really degrades your mental health (I have anxiety issues on top of this). So, please don't belittle me or preach to me about it. In order to gain his trust, I've been trying to spend a lot of time with him on my shoulder or what not along with giving him millet, since it's his favorite treat. He comes to me sometimes, but rarely. I guess I'm explaining this as well so you know it's hard for me to put him back in his cage most of the time unless I put some millet in there for him to go back.

So, all in all, please be kind, as I really, REALLY need help.


Well-known member
Apr 25, 2020
Did I suggest putting them in different rooms?
How about asking vet if Lupron would be appropriate for the cockatiel? I think that would cut back his sexual aggression.


Supporting Member
Jan 24, 2023
Windham, Maine
Budgies. Lotsa Budgies.
Did I suggest putting them in different rooms?
How about asking vet if Lupron would be appropriate for the cockatiel? I think that would cut back his sexual aggression.
Is the sexual aggression a problem (do you think) from the viewpoint of your conure? Does the conure get "upset" when he's mounted? Obviously you don't have to worry about eggs with two male birds. What happens if you just let them "go at it"?


Aug 23, 2021
2 Green Check Conures,2 linolated parakeets- RIP, 2 kakariki
Lets say i have conures (probably 2 males) and one is a "boss", they do not fight but the other get some snap once a while. However separate them maybe not the best solution I think if they are bonded. If I read it well you separated them promptly at the first blink once this happened? Agree with Donna above-maybe you can just try and let them sort out . If there is no fights and you can supervise them you see if there is really need to be separated or can be let out together and have fun.

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