How do people decide to give up their parrots?

[bbbirds22]

Genuine question.... im just looking to reach more people. i appreciate it.

I'm on the wrong account, but I'm just in a weird space so I apologize in advance.

For some background I have (3) birds, two budgies - one about 6-7 years old, the other about 4 or 5. I have a zebra finch, who's 2. (I also own a frog but he's not as relevant, he's just a little guy.)

My younger budgie, Benj, developed AGY this past summer - for lack of revealing too much, I am still a highschool student, so I guess in that sense it came at a "good time". It was hard for him and me too. I'm lucky, as Benj is blind, he's not cohabitated with my other budgie in a long time - they don't get along well except through cage bars, so they've always just chatted to eachother. He had to stay overnight in a vet hospital about an hour and a half from my house to the tune of $1000+. Then my other bird developed symptoms of AGY, but tested negative.

The past several months have just been one potential illness after another, so it was a lot seeing symptoms in Benji again about a week ago. It was just, like devastating. I have a vet appointment for them both in just a week or so, and they're both stable. I am praying for no more overnights or emergency appointments.

It sounds awful, but sitting here today deep-cleaning for them, I feel really defeated. I used to want to work with animals, make my love for them my life - and I do not want that anymore. I'm becoming afraid I don't really even want to do this for the next several years. Sure, they're pet store birds, but I take pretty good care of them and they could be in my life for another 4-8 years, or more. I just don't know if I can take it.

I've had mental health issues, and in the past, they've been the thing to get me out of them, but I think it's become counter intuitive. I don't want to pretend that's the reason for this though. I want a life, outside of my birds, and I know that's not fair to them. I feel terrible I wasn't smarter when I was younger and took them in, smarter at all - I just feel awful. I don't want to give them up, but I don't know if I can envision 8 more years of my life like this. I just want to go to college, to live my life, a clean floor I don't have to vaccum almost daily. My birds and I share a room. I bought a new AC just because of them. An air purifier. Two pieces of furniture. A floor mat. An entire vaccum, before...almost every day. Every single toy, bin... I set aside 40% of the money I make for them. I love them so, much, and I feel terrible because it's getting much harder for me to feel OK about all this.

In time since I first wrote this post (just days really), I think some of it is that I don't feel like they are really thriving anymore - and that is probably due to the all the lifestyle changes that they've endured due to illness, but im concerned I can't bounce back from that the same way they can - though I don't know. I feel awful, still, but am trying to slow down and think about this in depth because it's probably not just nothing or worth ignoring.

(In the realm of mental health, I admit I've had more trouble lately too - but I get professional help and historically my birds have always helped, not hurt my mental health. This is a weird reversal for me, but not the driving force behind my conflict.)

I'm just genuinley curious how people make a decision like that, not because they had to for living circumstances, or money... just because they realized they weren't cut out for it.

I don't know if I can put my parrots through that. I really do love them a lot, with my entire heart. I just, want the best for both of us. We have a very good rescue not far away, that I would trust, but... can I really do that to them? I'm in tears just trying to admit I don't know.

Just looking for some advice, some support. Maybe from people who have been in similar dilemmas, I'd love to know what you did.

(I am not looking to make a rash decision, I'm kind of surprised at myself. But it's a real feeling and I'd like to investigate it, and hear some genuine thoughts. )

TIA. Apologies to those this might upset, I'm just looking to be honest. I am going to read other forum posts on here about the subject matter.

 

[Alaeriel15]

Hi!

First of all, I really commend you for being honest enough to bring your concerns here and also to address them to yourself. You see so many folks online who gloss over the struggles and only share their wins.

I've not had to have to rehome any of my pets, personally, but I am on the trip where I'll come home with my late grandmother's amazon. In his case, after my grandmother passed, he lived with my uncle and grandfather for 17 years. Due to family circumstances shifting, my uncle is moving out and my grandfather isn't capable of caring for the bird so he needs a new home. Compounding this issue, the bird is now handicapped so he needs a LOT of specialized care. It's a huge commitment for any bird, and as you said your life really does revolve around them.

In your case, no one here can make any judgment or decisions on your behalf. It sounds like you're treating those birds like royalty. Perhaps I'm reading too far into things, but I am always extremely concerned to see mental health struggles coupled with the idea of rehoming pets, as that can go some very dark places. I've not been on this forum very long, but I have seen how close this community is and I'd like for you to know we are here for you and your flock!

The only advice I can give is that moderation can bring some peace. Your birds aren't a shackle, they're a grounding rod. As you grow in the new paths ahead of you, things will fall into place (even if it doesn't seem so right now).

 

[bbbirds22]

Hi!

First of all, I really commend you for being honest enough to bring your concerns here and also to address them to yourself. You see so many folks online who gloss over the struggles and only share their wins.

I've not had to have to rehome any of my pets, personally, but I am on the trip where I'll come home with my late grandmother's amazon. In his case, after my grandmother passed, he lived with my uncle and grandfather for 17 years. Due to family circumstances shifting, my uncle is moving out and my grandfather isn't capable of caring for the bird so he needs a new home. Compounding this issue, the bird is now handicapped so he needs a LOT of specialized care. It's a huge commitment for any bird, and as you said your life really does revolve around them.

In your case, no one here can make any judgment or decisions on your behalf. It sounds like you're treating those birds like royalty. Perhaps I'm reading too far into things, but I am always extremely concerned to see mental health struggles coupled with the idea of rehoming pets, as that can go some very dark places. I've not been on this forum very long, but I have seen how close this community is and I'd like for you to know we are here for you and your flock!

The only advice I can give is that moderation can bring some peace. Your birds aren't a shackle, they're a grounding rod. As you grow in the new paths ahead of you, things will fall into place (even if it doesn't seem so right now).

I appreciate it, a lot.
I've always come places like this for advice on how to treat them right, and I guess I don't see why I should stop.

It's very heartwarming to me to hear of people who inherit family pets and love them so dearly, I think it's a very kind thing to do. I hope your grandmother's amazon is wonderful/everything goes okay, and I wish you a lot of luck and love with him.

I also really do thank you for the concern - it's weird for me to consider right now they might be negatively impacting my mental health, because not to repeat myself or be dramatic, but they have genuinley been my reason for waking up before - but I am afraid it is swinging the other way now. I do intend to talk to my long term therapist about it, and I'm trying to handle that half of things just as carefully.

I have considered it's a momentary kind of thing - that there will be normal days after this, so I'm definitley trying to slow myself down. I'm at the very least waiting until about November/maybe the new year, as most outstanding vet appts and such will be resolved by then and hopefully things will settle down, but I also have to start thinking about my life after school n whatnot... so it'll be an adventure.

I hope to keep semi-active on forums until then, because no matter what I am a bird lover. & No matter what I will make every possible effort to make the right choice (for the birds, and myself.) They absolutley deserve that, and a lot more.

Thank you for the kind words, in general. It's been really strange to admit something that feels cruel and hear a lot of genuine kindness in return, but I sincerely appreciate it