My parakeet wont bond with me!


New member
Oct 23, 2017
9 months ago my little brother and I purchased two parakeets from pet smart (I think?). At first we just let them adjust and get used to their surroundings, like all the websites say to do, but they weren't getting any more used to us. After months of them not being used to us at all, we went to another smaller pet store to ask what to do. The guy there said to just force them to like you by chasing them around their cage and holding them. I've been reluctantly doing that, but I'm afraid that it's just making them more and more scared of me. I've gone a long time without taking them out of their cage but I recently started again. One of my birds seems to have a little bit of blood on her wing and I don't want to hurt her by taking her out! Please help, I don't know what to do so they can stop being afraid!
Last edited:
Well, first off you have two. a pair will most likely bond with each other and not their humans.

I feel like being extra handsy with them without hurting them and some soft speaking should help with the handling. After awhile they will learn your hands are not as scary as they first seemed. But some people will disagree. I would bring them out of their comfort zone a little at a time and progress when they start showing signs that they are accepting it. They will. work on stepping up if they haven't learned that yet.

As far as bonding, I'd try training exercises with each of them individually, away from view from it's partner to keep them focused on you. there are a lot of training videos online, doing sessions 5-10 minutes at a time and giving them their favorite treats when they respond will help with bonding but if they already bonded together then they won't bond as well with you but you can still have a pleasant relationship with both your birds just maybe not as closely as if you only had one. Also, personality of the bird is a big factor. good luck!
yeah whatever trust they had is gone now

STOP CHASING THEM! you cannot force an animal to love you those idiots in the pet shop need a slap

Being that you bought 2 together they most likely won't bond with you, a bird wants to be with a bird. I know it's not what you want to hear but that's the truth. Reset back to day one. Never grab them. Remember they're a prey animal and we're a predator animal. When you begin chasing and grabbing they think you're about to eat them.

sit and talk to them without looking, it'll take days and weeks, they'll eventually become curious and may come over. Try offering some millet, they should eventually listen to their stomach and have a nibble through the bars. You need to work at their pace, if they're scared then just back up a little. Soothing calming tones is the way to go. Eventually they may let you into the cage with treats in your hand but honestly don't hold your breath. these birds want to be with each other and have bonded to each other by now. You may got some interest from them and you may get birds that tolerate you but the odds of having them bond to you and be friendly like the ones on youtube are very low. Remember at all times these aren't domestic animals so they don't need our approval, we need to earn their trust and affection
Don't chase or further frighten them!
Chances are that they will continue to prefer the company of their own kind. Maybe they will relax over time, especially if you offer treats (nuts, peppers, seeds) by hand. Budgies are wonderful little parrots, and need space and gradual taming.
My bird is pretty awful, but just the fact of having a wonderful creature at ease in my home is miracle enough. For me.
The SEARCH tab above can help you find helpful threads.
Good for you, for reaching out here.
Crap they gave you the WORST advice ever! you probably increased the bonding time by months with the chasing stuff. Go shoplift something from their store....or at least move stuff around on them so when they do inventory counts it's all screwed up.

Basically what Lordtriggs and Galeriagilla said... you're going to have to take the time. If it was me I'd just simmer down for a while, at least a week, just talking.

Then...I'd open the door and just rest my hand on the edge of the door and do NOTHING ELSE. Just let them see door open hand not moving, like your part of the cage....when the calm down put a treat on your hand and then ignore that you have a hand.....if they jump on and eat.....ignore it entirely...YOU ARE FURNITURE.... go like that for a least a week, then maybe respond with your voice and eye contact as they eat...calm comfortable etc. the whole point is baby steps....if you want the reward you have to put in the time...
Welcome to you and your pair of parakeets!

Wish I had more to add, but previous posts have well identified the issues. You might try a "reset" of sorts; leave them mostly alone for a short time and attempt a new introduction. Don't mean to suggest they are like little computer devices, but they are likely bonded to each other. They may allow you as their parront to get closer but it will take time and trust.

This thread has some excellent tips to build trust. I'd suggest you approach them very passively, perhaps just sitting and talking/reading so they hear your voice and see you in a non-threatening manner.

Please be patient, though I've never had a parakeet they are known to be awesome companions!
Please don't chase them! You're scaring the poor things!
You may never achieve what you want with them. You have two, and they might bond with each other instead of you. I only have one budgie, and she isn't even bonded to me like my other birds. But I still love her all the same. You can target train them or lure them onto your hand to get them to step up.

I am a fairly experienced budgie(parakeet) owner so I can try offer some advice for taming your birds.
Firstly, don't chase them, that just perpetuates their fear of you - the guy at that pet shop clearly didn't really know much about birds.
Secondly, it is important to keep in mind that taming your budgies will take time an patience: unfortunately it is not a quick fix and it may take months.

Step-by-step, I recommend:

1) Spend about 2 weeks sitting next to or near the cage talking to them for about 1 hour a day, and if you can, even longer. You can talk about anything really - it will help for them to adjust to the sound of your voice. Keep your tone friendly and upbeat - parrots love animated emotions - just don't be so enthusiastic that you scare them.

2) After this period, I recommend familiarising your birds with the idea of your hand OUTSIDE the cage. Touch and hold your hand on the left side of the cage for a few minutes every day for a week, and then repeat this process for the right, front, back and top of the cage (so right side for a week, top for a week, etc).. See why this will take a lot of patience and time.

3) Next, you should be able to familiarise your bird with your hand INSIDE the cage. Similar to the above, you can start by placing your hand on the left side of the inside of the cage for a few minutes every day for a week, and then repeat the process with the right, front, back and top of the cage. Your budgies may at first shy away from you, but as they realise that your hand is non-threatening through this repetition, they will become less afraid of you.

4) Once your budgies appear fairly comfortable with your hand in and out of the cage, you can offer them seed, millet, spinach, apple or any other treat/food that they like using your hand. At first they may not eat from your hand, but from my own experience, with enough patience they will as they adjust to you. food=trust, and it is very important for you to let your budgies know that they can trust you in this way.

5) The hope is that your budgies will eventually feel comfortable enough to step onto your hand and eat seed and/or other food from your hand. At this stage you can move your budgies out of the cage onto a bird gym/stand and begin training and playing outside of their cage.

This may be most effective when you are only taming one bird, however it is possible to do it with two birds, and if need be you can try to tame them separately depending on how things go.

It is a long process of repetition, routine hand feeding and spending a good amount of time with your birds every day for them to fully adjust to you and trust you fully.

I really hope this helps!

My two tame budgies are very bonded to me, and are lovely companions to have, and I really hope you can have the same experience. Good luck!

Most Reactions

Latest posts